Hi Margi, I just wanted to say that I hope today is one of the good days for you and Lady. Even though you know this journey will end, I have to say that your story is a true testament to the love you two share. Lady couldn't have asked for a better mommy! I know you know that already but don't forget it when things get harder. From what I can tell, you should have no regrets about her life or her passing when that happens. I'm only saying that because it seems like we always want to regret something but your journey is proof to me that you really shouldn't have any regrets about Lady. Your devotion to her is remarkable.
-Donna

Ladies--

You're all so kind to us, it makes me want to cry sometimes. But, then we need all the kindness we can get these days. Lady is definitely in a downturn--she's walking with much more difficulty and falling from her back legs a lot. But then, i put her through some challenges, like my other closest women friend's floor is all slippery tile--hard for a normal dog to stand upright on it, I think...

Now I'm feeling guilty that Ladywolf and I haven't been camping and swimming yet this spring. It's one of the things we have always done together joyfully, but she might not even enjoy it all that much right now--she likes the comfort of her cushions and her futon. If we do go, I'll make sure she's as comfortable as she can be, but it still might be a bit of a hardship. I keep thinking in odd moments that I still have the old wolf, because she LOOKS the same--but clearly, I don't--because she doesn't FEEL the same. She's really not very mobile anymore, and I'm kind of in denial about that. But she's still perky and hungry, and can still get outside to do her business.

Thank you all for your compliments. Yes, I am devoted to her and her well-being--how could I not be?--I always have been, and now she has special needs. She is the light of my life, and I of her's, and it's sure hard to watch that light dimming...

Oh well, on with the day...

Hugs from Margi and Ladywolf

Hi Margi
How are you and Ladywolf today? I'm sending big hugs and good vibes your way.
Sharon

Thanks Sharon and everyone--

Not doing very well today, unfortunately. Lady is almost staggering around these days--I don't know what to do. When she's lying down, she seems peaceful and comfortable, but when she tries to get to her feet, she has a really hard time. I have a super-busy weekend--a two-day art show, so I'm not going to have a lot of time for her, though she'll be well taken care of.

I find I don't have much energy to contribute to other peoples' posts right now, and I am sorry for that. But it's taking all I have to keep mind, body and soul together--as I'm sure it's taking all that Lady has. I feel very sad almost all of the time.

The ex-boyfriend issue has more or less "cleared up" now, thank god. (No, I didn't "leave" him--how could I, really, since he lives 1000 miles away? We just straightened things out. But the close girlfriend issue has NOT cleared up and probably never will, long as she stays with "that man...")

I feel very depleted and low energy. I suppose that's normal, given the circumstances.

Thanks for all your support--

Hugs--Margi and her Ladyship

ladywolf, I will be thinking about you and your precious girl today. *positive thoughts*

Thinking of you Margi and Ladywolf. There are many people here who care about you and precious Ladywolf. Stay positive .I hope the weekend goes ok and look forward to hearing from you when you can post.

Love and Hugs

Jan and my Angels, and dear Impish Pixie, who has had fun chasing a rat today !!

Hi, Margi, I am so sorry that Ladywolf is having mobility problems. If my Oslo could at least get to a half standing position I would put my hands under his rear legs and then help him stand from that position and steady him and then he was able to walk from that point, as best as walking could be on failing hips. I could not lift him - - my back and my balance are not strong enough to have been able to do that - - but I could help him if he could at least get to a half standing position. I did try one of those standing harnesses - - neither Oslo nor I liked that at all. I'm sure you have tried everything you can think of to help your precious girl, Margi. And sometimes even though it looks like a struggle sometimes it's just best to let them sort out how the best way is to do something - - like stand -- because they know how the bones and joints are working and trying to "help" can sometimes be worse. Any way you look at it, my friend, it's a very difficult and heart wrenching situation.

And please don't feel the need to apologize for not being able to post - - we all do understand your priorities. Just know we are thinking of you and your precious Ladywolf. I hope all goes well with your art exhibit this weekend, - - I hope it will be a source of some income for you. Please know you and your precious Ladywolf are in my thoughts and prayers, and please do keep us posted as to how things are going - - as you are able and up to doing so.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Ladywolf's light is slowly dimming...

So is mine...

Hugs--Margi and her Wolf

Hey Margi - My thoughts and prayers and good wishes are with you and Ladywolf. I wish you both peace....

Sharon

Thank you, Sharon. I have tears in my eyes...

Margi and Ladywolf

Thinking of you and praying for you and your dear Ladywolf, Margi.

Love Jan and my Angels and Pixie x

Just letting you both know that you are in my thoughts
Irene xx

Margi, I'm so very sorry. Belle, Katie and I will be sending you lots of white light today. Charlie will too, and I have asked him to be there to greet Lady when she arrives.

Hang in there. We're all pulling for you.

Barbara

Thank so much, ladies. Lady is in a gradual decline--still eating, still perky some of the time, but unable to walk further than the end of the driveway. All of my long midnight rambles have come to an end now, and I feel the loss keenly. (I'm not going to go out and wander around late at night without her!) We used to love to go out and see the stars and the moon--there''s no traffic around here, and no threatening people--it was just a huge part of our lives.

She spends most of her time on the floor now, not upright, on one cushion or another or the carpet. Yesterday she was a little zingier than usual because she was with me at the home of the friend where we were part of the local art studio tour, and there were lots of strangers coming and going, and that piqued her interest. But mostly she is just tired and in pain, I'm afraid.

I'm depressed. It's as simple as that. (And as complex.) I don't feel like doing much--but I don't have the luxury of not doing much, since there's only her and me and no one else to put bread on my table and chicken in her bowl, so I have to go on trying to work when I can. Really, I just feel like lying around with Lady, but I keep on truckin' somehow.

That's an update. I don't know what will happen next, and when. She's still too "well" for euthanasia, but not really well enough to have a life. I don't have much of a life either right now...

Hugs from Margi and the Wolf

Hi, Margi, just adding my sincerest heartfelt wishes for you and Ladywolf. Anticipatory Grief is as bad as the post-loss grief, if not worse in some respects because the "declining" stage is what we remember - - is what tears at our hearts - - post-loss, and fills our hearts and minds with all those ugly "what ifs" and "why didn't I's" and "why couldn't I's" and "if only's" - - that nearly drive us insane in the midst of our deep grief -- almost to the point of not being able to remember our precious beloved companions as they were in their prime - - the good memories - - which is what they want us to remember and treasure and hold onto.

Margi, this is your "golden" time with your precious Ladywolf - - to give her comfort and love - - as you always have - -yet knowing that these are your "golden" days together as though the moment you are sharing might be the last one you have. They are precious to Ladywolf, too - - make no mistake about that. You give your precious girl everything she needs and wants, Margi, and that is your heart-filled love which is reflected in your tender loving care.

Margi, please know that you and Ladywolf are in my thoughts and prayers, and each of us are here for you walking right beside you and Ladywolf in your journey.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thanks for writing, Moon-Beam. I always appreciate your posts and P.M.'s.

I'm trying really hard not to fill myself with "what if's" and "if only's." Lady is 15, after all--something would eventually get her, if not this cancer. Just pure "old age," I suppose...

Yes, doggie hugs are really special now. I have to keep on remembering to give and receive them, since she's on the floor so much these days. When I bury myself in her fur, I can't imagine not always having that...

But I don't think that I'll be a total wreck when she finally does go, because I'm having such a good long time to get used to the idea. I think I'll live--whereas if something sudden had happened to her, I'm not sure HOW I would have lived. It all fits together, somehow, in a strange way.

Thanks for everyone's support!

Hugs from Margi and the Wolf

Oh Margi, I'm so terribly sorry. Please know that you and your precious Ladywolf are in my thoughts and prayers.



Many Comforting Hugs and Oceans of Love to You and your Fur Baby the Wolf!!!

Always,
Dottie xoxoxox

DOTTIE!!! You're BACK!!! Halleujah!!!

Margi and the Wolf

Hi Sweet Margi,

I've brought a Ladywolf Dreamcatcher for both yourself and your precious Fur Kid. This is a mystical Dreamcatcher. But, you knew that already. Please turn up your volume and click on the Ladywolf Dreamcatcher to see what dreams the Dreamcatcher has caught for you and the Wolf.





There's more. See the Wolf Spirit above the Native American in the Teepee? Just as you are one with Ladywolf and she is with you , all of us are at One with the Wolf Spirit. Please turn up your volume and click on the Sacred Wolf Spirit and Native American to join in their journey.





Big Hugs to you and your loving, lovely Ladywolf!!!


Always,
Dottie xoxoxox

Oh Dottie, thank you so much for those beautiful images, the chant, and the Enya song. It all brought tears to my eyes, but that's okay--I need to cry sometimes throughout this process.

Poor Lady is dragging her cancerous leg around like some kind of foreign object. I'm not quite sure what to do right now. I think she needs a stronger pain med, but I fear that among the few choices there are, there won't be anything I can afford. Just a visit to the vet to TALK about it is over $50, even if I don't even take Lady herself in! That's highway robbery!

I just hate seeing what a struggle her body is becoming for her. While at rest, she still seems perky and peaceful, but when called upon to move around, it's getting harder and harder for her--and for me to watch. This slow dying process is agonizing--but it's still too soon to take any affirmative action, because she is still enjoying her limited life. I, on the other hand, am not enjoying the limitations. I haven't taken a real walk in weeks, because I don't want to have to leave Lady at home.

How difficult this all is. But she IS, after all, 14 or 15. So if cancer wasn't getting her, something else probably would be.

Poor Poppers. I barely make a moment to think of her anymore, and I just lost her before Christmas. But my worry about Ladywolf is just consuming all my canine attention. Poppers, I love you and we miss you too!

When Lady does go, probably some friends and I will be dragging her out into the desert somewhere to join the food chain. Things are done a little differently around here where there's lot of untraveled open space. That's what we did with Poppers too. It feels kind of cold, in a way, but kind of right in a way too. This time I'm going to pick a spot I really like--somewhere that I like to go, which we didn't have time to do with Poppers. One of these days, I'll have to go scouting--WITHOUT Ladywolf--that would be too lugubrious, I think, if I took her with me.

So I still live with my wolf-girl, and I ponder her final resting place at the same time. It's a weird, unhappy process and I'm depressed a lot, but I'm okay.

Thank again, Angel Care!

Big hugs from Margi and Ladywolf