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> Ladywolf Is Failing, How do you make THE decision?
ladywolf
post Apr 3 2010, 07:51 PM
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No, this is not a new topic, but it's a new phase of the process, and I thought I would start a new thread about Ladywolf and me. (See "How to Savor the Time with a Dying Pet.)

All of her legs are giving out on her now, and I may have just taken her for her last woodsy ramble. She simply can't keep up even on a very short walk anymore--she lies down to rest, and today I had to leave my friend with her and walk back to get the car, which I then had to navigate over a very rough stretch of mountain dirt road--but not very far, because we simply hadn't gotten very far before Lady called it quits.

Just now, she fell going up a friend's three or four stairs. I can't lift her--she weighs almost as much as I do--though I can help her to stabilize when trying to get in and out of the car, for example, or climbing that short staircase. She's a real trooper, but it's obvious that she's in a lot of pain from the cancer now. However, when she's lying around, she's still very perky and fresh and alert, and her appetite for home cookin' continues to be great. Lying down or sitting up, she seems like the same old Wolf. It's just when she tries to get to her feet...

I'm not really writing just yet to pose the question in my title, because I can't handle talking about it today. I could just use some more support, because obviously we can't continue like this indefinitely--something will have to be done, at some point...

I feel oddly unemotional about it all today, but god knows I have been having lots of those moments over the course of these past few months, since the cancer was diagnosed. She's fourteen or fifteen, and the most magnificent creature you've ever seen--about 80 or 90% pure Alaskan Grey Timberwolf. She is the most intelligent, sensitive, loving, funny, intuitive creature I have ever had the incredible grace to have in my life. I'm trying to remember that.

I don't have the money right now to choose to have her euthanized, I really don't. But a wealthy friend who's paid some of her other bills might pay for it for me, since it would be the last time I asked her for help.

I gotta' stop writing about it right now. I could just use some more support.

Thanks, everyone.

Big Hugs--Margi and Ladywolf
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smokey/lady/max
post Apr 3 2010, 08:11 PM
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Hi Margi
I dont know how much support I can give but I can let you know I am thinking of you and what you must be going through. I have never known so much emptiness until the past 4 weeks since our Dozer left so sudden. We have had a dog in the home for over 22 years and I cant even explain the feeling. I will be thinking and saying a prayer for you both. Its so hard to let go even after they are gone. My heart goes out to you.

Hugs
Anna
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CharliesMom
post Apr 3 2010, 08:38 PM
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Margi, I'm so sorry. There is no easy way to get through something like this. If Ladywolf still has an appetite and seems to be okay when she's at rest, then let her rest and feed her whatever she wants. She'll let you know when it's time. Meanwhile, use the time to tell her how much you love her and be gentle with yourself. Ladywolf has had a good, long inning and she is the wonderful dog she is because of you. Know that you have the support of everyone here. We all know how your heart is breaking and we'll all keep you and Ladywolf in our prayers.

Barbara
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Westiesam/Sharon
post Apr 3 2010, 11:52 PM
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Hey Margi
I wish I could be there to give you a big hug. I know how hard this is for you. I have to agree with Barbara - as along as she's eating and still acting perky - let her be. I do believe she will tell you when she's ready to leave. My heart is hurting for you and Ladywolf right now. Take care.
Sharon
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janika
post Apr 4 2010, 01:18 AM
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Dear Margi and Ladywolf

I am thinking of you and sending big hugs. I will be praying for you both and hoping that you both can share some more time together. I echo what others have said in that as long as Ladywolf is enjoying her food and resting peacefully she doesn't seem to be suffering . Our fur babies can usually let us know when they are in too much pain or when things get too much for them. Try and take deep breaths and carry on doing what you've been doing , preparing her lovely meals and loving her and comforting her and hopefully you can both find some peace in each others company. Sharing precious time together. Maybe just let the legs rest as the walking must be too much now, you know her so well, and she will let you know if and when she needs help in any way.

Please give Ladywolf a big Hug from Aunty Jan, and please keep us posted if you can, but not to the detriment of time that can be spent with your precious Wolf baby Lady.

Love and HUGS
Jan and my Angels and Pixie x
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Ken Albin
post Apr 4 2010, 01:47 AM
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I am so very sorry. Ladywolf is a beautiful soul and she is very lucky to have you as a mom. I would agree with the others as far as knowing when the time is to say good bye. I don't know what your vet has been doing for pain but you might look into a Fentanyl patch at this point. It will release a strong narcotic in a slow release form to help block her pain. It is used for extreme pain such as cancer and is probably the most effective pain blocker for cases like this. We used one with our cat Sebastian when he stopped eating he was in so much pain and it helped to save his life. It may extend the time you have with your sweet girl. You both will be in my thoughts and prayers.


--------------------

Daddy Cat left this world at the age of 17. His tribute page is at Daddy Cat's Tribute Page
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Brutus
post Apr 4 2010, 02:40 AM
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Margi...I'm so sorry. Ladywolf sounds very much like how Brutus was...a fighter, never giving up. I'm thinking of you and sending you and Ladywolf good thoughts.

Hugs,
Sonya


--------------------
****Sonya****

In loving memory of my soulmate, Brutus...never forgotten, always missed.

Brutus Midnight Gunsmoke
Black Lab and best friend
11-22-96 to 11-16-09
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ladywolf
post Apr 4 2010, 01:09 PM
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QUOTE (Brutus @ Apr 4 2010, 12:40 AM) *
Margi...I'm so sorry. Ladywolf sounds very much like how Brutus was...a fighter, never giving up. I'm thinking of you and sending you and Ladywolf good thoughts.

Hugs,
Sonya


Thanks, everyone, for your kind thoughts. I'm in a bad depression, nonetheless. It's Easter, I spent the night in a friend's gloomy house with Lady so that my friend's dog would have company, and now Lady is in a dark corner of the bedroom and doesn't want to get up. (We spend a lot of time over here, so this is a familiar place to her.)

My couple of friends are both away for the weekend, and I have no one to even see, much less celebrate Easter with. I had a horrible "counseling" session on Friday, with the woman who seems to glean her material from the manual called "What not to say and do during counseling sessions," I'm flat broke, and I don't have much going for me today.

But somehow I'll rally and Ladywolf will have to, because I do want to go home. This is not a good environment for trying to cheer up in. At least it's nice outside. I'd take a drive but I have no gas. Get out the violins!

Thanks for giving me a place to express this kind of stuff--I really can't think of anyone to see today to help cheer me up. This is awful, but this too shall pass, I guess...

Margi and the Wolf

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janika
post Apr 4 2010, 01:24 PM
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Oh dear Poor Margi, we may not be with you physically but we are with you in 'spirit' and thinking of you. Can you get outside in the garden or yard , at least the sun might lift your spirits, it always does for me. I wish I could 'pop' round and visit you and Ladywolf. It's a lovely evening here in Uk. The sun is just about to set, but we have a lovely cloudless blue sky for a change. It must be early afternoon where you are. I do hope that your day improves and that you and Lady Wolf are soon back home.

Hugs
Jan and Pixie and my Angels xx
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moon_beam
post Apr 4 2010, 01:35 PM
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Hi, Margi, I am so sorry that you and Ladywolf are now at this "crossroads" in your journey together. My heart is breaking for you both. Have you thought about seeking assistance from your local humane society? Some vets also have a "Good Samaritan" fund for folks who cannot pay for their services. It will not hurt to try to limit Ladywolf's activities to "essential" outdoor needs, and then just keep her resting comfortably and enjoying her company and enjoying seeing her enjoying her meals. This will give you more quality time together and give you time to assess Ladywolf's needs - - and better determine when it is "time". I frequently told my beautiful Abbygayle that if my love could have made her well that she never would have gotten sick in the first place. My last act of love for her - - sending her home to the angels - - did enable her to be totally healed and restored to her former healthy precious body. Margi, I wish there were some words I could say that would make this part of your journey with Ladywolf less painful for you, but I am at a loss to know what those words are. But I hope it is comforting for you to know that you and Ladywolf are always close in my thoughts and prayers, and that I am here for you to share how things are going.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam


--------------------
In heaven's perfect garden there is no grief or pain, and all of God's creation join the angels' sweet refrain.

The most blessed way I have of knowing God's comforting love and grace is to look into the eyes and heart of God's creatures' sweet angelic face.
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tanbuck
post Apr 4 2010, 05:38 PM
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Oh Margi, I just read your post this afternoon. I'm so sorry. This is an awful process, isn't it? I totally agree with Barbara, Ken, and Moonbeam. As long as she is comfortable and eating.....well, that's all we can ask for at this time. Like the others have said, you'll know. I hope, with respect to your finances and your heartache, that she goes quiety in her sleep. Without struggle.
I just said to my husband this afternoon as I was thinking about Niles' and Frasier's last days that helping someone you love pass is a long, hard process. I know what you mean about the numb feeling. I think it's a coping mechanism.
I just said a prayer for you that you will get the peaceful passing that I so desperately prayed for for my Niles. My heart goes out to you. I'm glad you've got this place to come to.
-Donna
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ladywolf
post Apr 4 2010, 06:49 PM
Post #12





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Thanks, everyone, for your support.

I had a slightly better afternoon--I was going bonkers, so I finally decided to use some money I had set aside for a bill to get some gas and head up into the hills looking for running water of some kind, and I FOUND some. (You don't know what an accomplishment that is in this part of Arizona!) I parked right near a small snow-runoff stream, and Lady was easily able to navigate her way over to it and lie happily on the shore. So we stayed there for awhile--no walk--but there were wildflowers and butterflies and lovely warm sun, so yes, I do feel a bit better.

You're right, though--this is one heck of a hard process...

Thanks again--

Margi
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moon_beam
post Apr 4 2010, 07:02 PM
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Hi, Margi. I'm so o o glad you and Ladywolf had a chance to get out together and enjoy being together close to Nature's beauty - - in a way that was comfortable and peaceful for the both of you. The bills will always be there - - but this time with your precious Ladywolf is so very important, too. Thank you so much for sharing your day together with us.

Please know you and Ladywolf are in my thoughts and prayers, Margi, and please keep letting us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam


--------------------
In heaven's perfect garden there is no grief or pain, and all of God's creation join the angels' sweet refrain.

The most blessed way I have of knowing God's comforting love and grace is to look into the eyes and heart of God's creatures' sweet angelic face.
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ladywolf
post Apr 4 2010, 09:11 PM
Post #14





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QUOTE (moon_beam @ Apr 4 2010, 05:02 PM) *
Hi, Margi. I'm so o o glad you and Ladywolf had a chance to get out together and enjoy being together close to Nature's beauty - - in a way that was comfortable and peaceful for the both of you. The bills will always be there - - but this time with your precious Ladywolf is so very important, too. Thank you so much for sharing your day together with us.

Please know you and Ladywolf are in my thoughts and prayers, Margi, and please keep letting us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam


I'm so up and down, I feel like I'm going crazy.

But, then, I've always been so up and down that I felt like I was going crazy!

Margi and the Wolf Eminence
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Rhapsedy
post Apr 5 2010, 10:02 AM
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Hi Margi,

I am so sorry to hear that Ladywolf is declining. It is so hard to watch the ones we love get sick.

It sounds to me like Ladywolf still has some quality of life left. She still has a great appetite and it doesn't sound like she's in pain. I know she loves to go for walks but I would probably stop doing that because I think it may make her weaker.

Just cherish what time you do have left with her and give her extra special attention, which I know you are doing.

She is such a very lucky girl to have such a wonderful mother. You have given her an amazing life and I know she is grateful that she has you.

I wish I could say something that would make the pain go away, but there are no words that could even come close to dealing with what you are going through. Just know that we are all here for you and will help you in any way that we can to deal with your grief.

I will be saying a HUGE prayer for you and Ladywolf tonight in that you will find peace and comfort thru this very difficult time.

Love,
Rhapsedy

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Stormycloud
post Apr 5 2010, 11:42 AM
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Hi Margi,

So sorry to hear about your sweet doggy. Our Stormy was the same at the end, it was hard for him to get up, but once he was up he stayed up for ages as he knew how hard it was for himself to get up! He too had a great appetite, which I think is a great sign - but like your doggy he also had trouble on walks and we gradually phased them out, with the exception of his last night alive (which I am sooooo thankful for). Stairs were out of the question for quite some time before he passed though, and yes, we had to help him too.

Anyway, just wanted to say hello and that we are thinking of you.

Take care,
Moira
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Foxysmummy
post Apr 5 2010, 02:59 PM
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Oh Margi, I am so sad to read your posts. Like others have said though Lady is still eating which is positive. We didn't take Foxy for any walks for the last few weeks of her life, two days before she passed she point blank refused to eat. We couldn't get anything down her at all, that's how we knew it was time. I'm thinking of you and your lovely Lady.

Irene.


--------------------
Trying to live without Foxy, Jan 07 - March 10 and Frank, May 92 - May 10. My fur family are reunited.
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ladywolf
post Apr 5 2010, 05:55 PM
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QUOTE (Foxysmummy @ Apr 5 2010, 12:59 PM) *
Oh Margi, I am so sad to read your posts. Like others have said though Lady is still eating which is positive. We didn't take Foxy for any walks for the last few weeks of her life, two days before she passed she point blank refused to eat. We couldn't get anything down her at all, that's how we knew it was time. I'm thinking of you and your lovely Lady.

Irene.


Thank you Rhapsedy, Moira, Irene and everyone--

A miracle has occurred! One of our regular posters p.m'd me and offered to pay for Lady's euthanasia...if it comes down to that. I honestly did NOT have the money for it, and there ARE no generous vets in Tucson, or so it seems. So this angel lady is sending me a money order. I'm going to give the money to a friend to hold for me until the time I might need it, so it will be safe. I can hardly believe that someone I don't even "know" has offered to relieve me of this particular stressor, at a time when the rest of the stress is practically killing me at times. I feel so relieved. I thank you again, angel lady!

So now if that time does come, the funds will be at hand. Like everyone, I am hoping for a peaceful passing at home, much the way Poppers went back in December. Today my vet gave me the heads up to double Lady's painkiller, which is only aspirin and Naprosyn, but does seem to help her, and she seems a little less pained today while walking around. I, on the other hand, am exhausted and may take a good, long nap this afternoon...

Ladywolf still has a good long way to go.

I want to post some more pictures here, but I always have trouble. Could someone post some for me if I email you some jpegs? Thanks.

Blessings to all, and particularly to this amazing Forum--

Margi and the Wolf
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Rhapsedy
post Apr 6 2010, 08:31 AM
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From: Jackson, MI
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QUOTE (ladywolf @ Apr 5 2010, 06:55 PM) *
Thank you Rhapsedy, Moira, Irene and everyone--

A miracle has occurred! One of our regular posters p.m'd me and offered to pay for Lady's euthanasia...if it comes down to that. I honestly did NOT have the money for it, and there ARE no generous vets in Tucson, or so it seems. So this angel lady is sending me a money order. I'm going to give the money to a friend to hold for me until the time I might need it, so it will be safe. I can hardly believe that someone I don't even "know" has offered to relieve me of this particular stressor, at a time when the rest of the stress is practically killing me at times. I feel so relieved. I thank you again, angel lady!

So now if that time does come, the funds will be at hand. Like everyone, I am hoping for a peaceful passing at home, much the way Poppers went back in December. Today my vet gave me the heads up to double Lady's painkiller, which is only aspirin and Naprosyn, but does seem to help her, and she seems a little less pained today while walking around. I, on the other hand, am exhausted and may take a good, long nap this afternoon...

Ladywolf still has a good long way to go.

I want to post some more pictures here, but I always have trouble. Could someone post some for me if I email you some jpegs? Thanks.

Blessings to all, and particularly to this amazing Forum--

Margi and the Wolf


What an incredible lady!!! Whoever you are you have a heart of gold!!!

I'm glad that Ladywolf is doing better. I bet it's a combination of the meds and all of the prayers you get from everyone on this website. smile.gif

Take care Margi
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Westiesam/Sharon
post Apr 6 2010, 06:00 PM
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Hi Margi
I glad to hear that Ladywolf is hanging in there and that she's not in pain. I'm praying for both of you -- just love her as much as you can in the time you have left -- which I truly hope is a long, long time.
Sharon
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