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Hi Margi,

I seen this and thought of you and ladywolf hope all is going well

Hugs
Anna and my Angel MAX

Oh Anna, that is BEAUTIFUL! Thank yuu so much!

The only difference between Lady and pictures of Tiberwolves is that her ears are just a little longer. Otherwise, she's identical. That's just gorgeous!

Thanks again--Margi and the Wolf

That is so beautiful. Dear Anna is working her magic for us.

Hugs Jan and my Angels x

Here's one way to savor time with your ailing pet--drive WAY out in the boonies (I live in Arizona, so that's easy for me!) and take a long, long walk in a deeply quiet place where the only sound was birds and Lady's and my footfalls. At one point, she started to run, and so did I, and we ran full-tilt boogie for awhile, at least the best that either of us can anymore. It was a breakthrough moment--I haven't felt that free or peaceful in many months, maybe years. (I lead a very stressful, poverty-stricken life and have the whole time I've lived in Arizona--four years now. I basically hate it here, but don't have the money to relocate again just yet...)

Carpe Diem--it was a grand afternoon for both of us.

AND--when I went in to refill Lady's hideously expensive pain med prescription, my vet switched her over to something that cost me $3.99 for a two month supply. Now THAT I can afford.

I'm at home now, trying to savor the afternoon and not get bogged down immediately in bullfeathers!

Margi and Ladywolf

Hi Margi
I knew you where the right person to help pucksmom I thought of you right away when I read her story. It is very sad that if only the love that we feel could buy all the medicine and care for them. We would have the healthy pets in the WORLD!!!!!. Its just sad that vets today arent as careing as they where years ago. What happened to making a payment plan out of the care and love that the pet owner has. Thank you for giving her kind words sometimes in the mist of my own grief and guilt I find some post hard to respond to. Hope you and Ladywolf are doing good.

Hugs
Anna

Anna--

I had a really hard time responding to Puck's mom's post. I almost erased my answer. This is SUCH a charged subject--the amount that vets charge for care, without any consideration at ALL for what we can afford to pay.

My last vet was one of my closest friends. He would have done ANYTHING for me, whether I could afford to pay or not, but he lives in Santa Fe, and I'm stuck in somewhere, Arizona...

Doctors take payments over time--why don't VET's, for god's sake?

Margi and the Wolf

Margi,
Like I said I thought of your situation right away. It is very sad that they dont take payments specialy when an animal has chance to live. I hope Puck understands that she did all that she could. I know sometimes I need to listen to my own words. But as you know when its your own and your own feelings it is so hard to do. I did send her an angel. I dont know if its life is so hard on us or if its we are hard on ourselves I guess both. We all are keeping prayers fro Ladywolf.

Anna

Anna--

Ladywolf is resting very comfortably tonight, after our running sprint today. To me, she appears to feel no pain yet, but who knows> She sure is trying to keep up with me--and I with her. That flat-out running contest was THE BEST!

I am so glad that right now my only financial considerations are paying for Lady's people food. There is so much good stuff in this house right now, you wouldn't believe it--hamburger, chicken breasts, brown rice, kale, spinach, broccoli, turkey, flaxseed oil, spirulina, echinacea (I spent all my food stamps on food for Lady)--if only I remember to eat some of it myself!

Margi and The Wolf

Ladywolf has been kind of stumbling around today, very unsure on her feet. (Her tumors are in her groin and one hind leg.)

So what did I do? Took a walloping fall in the kitchen after slipping on some of her spilled water. I'm okay, just bruised--but maybe I needed to be limping around a bit too today...

However do you just...wait like this? I watch her constantly--sometimes I am able to forget about it, but most of the time, I am not. This is like some kind of nether-world, neither here nor there. I'll probably never have a healthy wolf again--or maybe I will!--but meanwhile, I have an ailing, loving wolf. The stress of it is putting me to bed some nights at 7, and I''m used to staying up til 2. Life is sure different.

Any words of wisdom will be much appreciated.

Thanks, everyone!

Margi and Ladywolf

Dear Margi and Ladywolf

So sorry to hear about your 'slip' and hope you are not too sore. I've done the same thing myself in the girls water spills.

It sounds as though you had a wonderful day in the 'Boonies' with your Ladywolf, running together and enjoying peace and each others company. You came back re-charged and very positive, so all in all a good experience.

After the 'running' you probably both needed to rest and her limping around later was probably from all the activity. Noushka used to quite often 'limp' back from just her slow walks, a bit like me and Dave, but they did us all so much good. That is what you are doing for your beautiful Ladywolf. If she was running with you that is fantastic, running with her pack (you).
I know I keep saying it but I am such a quoter of 'Carpe Diem'.I see from your post that you agree. You are doing just that. Living for the moment, treasuring each precious one, but you are also doing everything you can to improve Ladywolfs 'tomorrow' too by giving her such a good diet and keeping her spirits up with your excursions together.
Sleep when you can, and don't forget to eat, I'm sure your Lady would willingly share her food or anything else with you.
Keep up your strength and spirits and look forward to another fulfilling day together, even if its not quite as energetic as yesterday, just chilling together is often enough and can be very rewarding too. By letting your Lady see that you are 'chilled ' and at peace you will make her feel the warmth and comfort of your love for her which will make her feel the same way. Be strong dear Margi, you are the best Mom that Ladywolf could ever wish for and she knows that.
Love and hugs
Jan and my Angels xx

Jan and everyone--

Thanks for your words of wisdom, they really help. It's been two days now since I took Lady for that run/walk and I haven't done another and I am feeling terribly guilty, but it's cold and gray outside and I am deeply tired and kind of depressed and I just haven't felt like it. (I lost my part-time job teaching art to children in the local public school this semester due to budget cutbacks, and I miss it and the kids terribly--not to mention the income! This is NOT a good time for me to be without some structure. I substitute teach, but never know when I'll be called, and I do freelance editorial work, but never know when I'll be called...like that...)

Lady is comfortable today, I think, but a little shakey on that leg. I wish I could know how much it does or doesn't hurt her. She doesn't fuss at it, she doesn't really limp, she's just kind of swollen and unstable. But her spirits and overall health are good. Isn't is weird how an animal or person can be in "perfect" health but have cancer at the same time? My father fell into that category with his terminal brain cancer. He was so healthy! Cancer really IS a foreign invader, and really DOES need to be "fought" if one has a way of doing that. (Although in my father's, and Lady's case, aggressive fighting with chemo and radiation were not an option, thank God--so I didn't have to make "those" decisions...)

We're okay, just tired and a bit lonely. I really do miss my class--what an awful thing for all of us. Now the kids have NO fun afterschool programs at all!

Hugs to everyone--Margi

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Hi Margi,
I am so glad that your ladywolf is doing well. I am sure if she were in pain you would know. You seem to know her so well
and the love you have for her shows very much. Keep doing what your doing. I also want to tell you that you give everyone very
comforting words. At times I cant find the words to say. I do read everyones forums even though at times I dont say anything.
I do feel everyones pain and know that we are all here for support. This has been a wonderful place to come and release our pain
and sorrow. Through the help of others we will get through everyday. I hope you like the picture of your ladywolf I have found several nice ones.

Thanks, hon.

Ladywolf was quite frisky today. We had a huge storm last night, the same one California just experienced and is experiencing, and we have another one on the way, and both she and I are JAZZED by nasty weather!

So she was prancing around like her old self today, despite the swollen leg. I am SO GLAD that I have changed her diet and am cooking for her every day. She loves mealtimes, and I can at least feel as if I am doing SOMETHING to help!

Love to all, I'm going to bed now. I teach tomorrow...

Margi and Her Wolf

Hi Margi, just came here to ask how Lady wolf is doing and I am pleased to read that she is doing fine at the moment, must be all that home cooking. Hope she continues to keep well and happy. Take care xx

madi xx

Hi Margi...sounds like Ladywolf is doing well on her new diet...thats great. Just wanted to drop a line and let you know I'm thinking of you both.

Hugs,
Sonya

Thanks so much, Madi, Sonya and everyone--

I've been offline for a few days while my computer was in the E.R., getting rid of a serious viral infection.

I also was away for a couple of days, and the friend who took great care of Lady at her house, and I, can both see the deterioration between last week and this week. She is moving around with more difficulty, the tumors are getting bigger, it's harder for her to get in and out of the car now...all kinds of things. It's so painful to see. I don't know when the point will come when I'll probably have to make that fateful decision, but it isn't here yet.

The days and nights are so bittersweet right now. Some days I can really appreciate the time we have left, and other days it makes me cry, because I just can't imagine not having her in my life. I really don't have a whole lot else right now to count on. I lost my part-time teaching job due to budget cutbacks, I have too much time on my hands, and my life is so Lady-based that I can't imagine what I'll do in the future. Except be freer to leave this place in Arizona where I live that I don't really like very much, that doesn't offer many opportunities, but where Lady and I are at least comfortable, albeit flat broke all the time! She has a lot of freedom here; but I don't. So I'll probably try to find some way to relocate when she does leave me, and try to make a fresh start. How to do that without any money is the question...

Thank you for letting me vent just a little. I am feeling kind of sorry for myself today. I used to have a lot of friends, a lot of money, a lot of travel and social activity in my life, and here I've been quite isolated and lonely, even WITH Lady. Without her? God, what will I be?

Well, that's the "cheery" news for today.....

Hugs to everyone--

Margi and the Wolf

Marji and Ladywolf, this is the first time I have posted. I have been reading posts for a few days, and this is one topic I can really relate to these days so I wanted to respond. I am so very sorry that you are going through this with your Ladywolf. I haven't posted yet about my little dog. But he is in end-stage CHF and I know what you mean about trying to savor and enjoy the time you have left. It is so hard! It seems that all my time with him is worrying and caregiving and trying to get him to eat and take his meds, etc. He's not able to play, he can't walk except a few steps, sleeps most of the time. But when I come home and he is smiling and wagging his tail it makes my day! My life is consumed with Chico and trying to keep him alive and comfortable for a while longer. But every time I look at him I am wondering how much longer, if this is the day, is he suffering, what am I going to cook for him that will get his pills down today. I am so stressed and cry every day, though I try not to around him. It's just very hard to enjoy the time you have left, knowing it is limited. I am missing those carefree days of just enjoying my dog without the worry and dread. My heart goes out to you. I understand how you are feeling.
Hugs to you and Ladywolf...Berta

I understand how you feel........... been there done that.

Just wondering, rather than "without her where will you be?".................... without her where would you have been?

I guess that will be the question later on as you begin the healing. Not something you can question rationally right now.

Several years ago I had an elderly friend with cancer who had such a good attitude about her diagnosis. Never complained other than one time she said she would have picked another way to die. Always such a quick wit and positive attitude when her skin began to yellow she told a visitor "that's jaundice silly" when the visitor mentioned her makeup wasn't right. On one of my daily visits she told me the Dr. had not told her it was terminal. Knowing her whole attitude I said " being alive is terminal" and she remarked that that was why she liked me so much as I think like she did.

From your posts I know you are a strong person but sometimes we wonder why we are tested like this aren't we?

I follow your posts about Ladywolf and wish you the strength to keep on keepin on.................

Ginger

[quote name='Flossie's Mom' date='Jan 27 2010, 06:13 AM' post='55562']
I understand how you feel........... been there done that.

Just wondering, rather than "without her where will you be?".................... without her where would you have been?

Thank you, ladies. Your words are very helpful, particularly that question above--without her, where would I be? Having a mostly wolf in my life has been an experience that I wouldn't have traded for anything, and our bond has changed me and her so deeply that I can't express it. She has brought out the wild, feral side of me at times, and I have taught her to be a totally trustworthy "Lady." She has taught me to be more intuitive and psychic, and I have taught her to behave herself around everyone and everything else--people, other dogs, babies...(though we never made much headway with cats!) We have taught each other what total devotion is--which no man has ever demonstrated for me!

That's all I can write today--except this little tale: I'm at a friend's house right now, and a few minutes ago, her dog burst out the back door because he heard a loud squawking sound, so I ran out there too, and there were two bald eagles way up high in a tree in the backyard. What magic!

Margi and Ladywolf

Berta--

I am so sorry for your situation with your Chico and, yes, I certainly can relate. Lady isn't that badly off yet, but those days are coming, I imagine. She's not sick at all yet--just has these TUMORS that I can see and feel and watch growing...(At least they're not hideously ugly, like her last cancerous tumor--which was surgically removed--was...)

Thank you for posting here, and please keep posting. You probably need all the help you can get too, and there's plenty available here!

Hugs--

Margi and Ladywolf