It's been just over 9 weeks since my Sydney passed and a few days ago we adopted an 8-week old Siamese kitten. She is just a doll - a total lap cat and cuddler, which is what Sydney was. I just wanted to share my experience since I know others on here have been torn about the decision about whether/when to get another pet after a loss. It was really my husband who initiated the whole thing. When Sydney first passed, I couldn't imagine ever having another pet fill her place in our lives, but my husband really, really wanted another cat, since we were so used to having two.

I didn't think I could ever love another pet the way I love Sydney, and I firmly believe that she and I share a special bond that will never be fully replicated, but it took me about a day to start loving our new little one, Saylor. It's nice to have a new little ray of sunshine running around the house, and I look forward to coming home again each day to see her, which was one of the hardest parts about losing Sydney. She was always there to greet me at the door and spent all night on our laps, so I was constantly aware of her absence when I was home.

All of that being said, having a new kitten has not diminished my love for Sydney, nor my grief over losing her, one bit. My love for Saylor occupies a completely different place in my heart, and my heart still aches for Sydney. Last night as we were laying down to sleep, Saylor curled up on my husband's chest, which is where Sydney slept every night, and I lost it. I started crying hysterically, which I hadn't done in several days. Saylor is wonderful, but I still miss Sydney with every fiber of my being.

So for those of you who feel that getting another pet would be like replacing the one you lost, please know that this is simply not possible. Every pet is irreplaceable and carves out their own little place in our hearts. I do, however, recommend waiting until the grief is no longer constantly unbearable. I say constantly because for me, it still feels unbearable at times, but not every second of the day. I knew I wouldn't have been able to open my heart right away, and I'm glad we waited a couple of months.

Peace to you all.

Jess,

How wonderful for you and your new kitty.

You have described the feeling exactly that I have felt. I did not want another pet and said for a long time that when I had to let my Flossie go.... that would be it for pets in our home.

She was my once in a lifetime special connection pet and was a handfull for me with her care for several years. I would not give up those years and would do it again for her but I think it created an even closer bond. It was such a painful thing to let her go and I knew there was no other like her, never would or could be. Didn't want to get that attached again.

Well, a couple of pets happened along before she was even gone that we are convinced she sent our way. They are wonderful companions, perfect pets for our current situation. They did not, could not replace her but they have been just what we needed and they needed us.

My cat is also a siamese, born on a farm to a black/white Mom with no siamese cats in the area at all! My husbands dog is a little stray that picked him out when we were visiting visiting my Mom for a month. These new ones came into our lives one year ago and over 2,000 miles from our home!

I'm so happy for you and your husband that you have another cat to love and be loved by. Neither of ours are "replacements" either.............. just additions.

good timing with your story Jess,
I miss my Buddy, someone else had a gr8 post about, missing the presence of a comapnion, not their particular pet who had died but the strange feeling of something was missing from their life, they acknowledged they weren't after their original fur companion but realised how empty life was with out a fur companion....i don't know if that makes sense? It's only been 23 days since my Buddy died and I cant believe I'm even capable of thinking bout another pet, but I was looking & short story is I visited a beautiful boy @ an animal shelter & all I cld think when I met him was, how wonderful it wld be to hve another dog, when my eyes fell upon him I felt something heavy just slip away from me. I'm taking the kids & husband to meet him on Sunday....I'm trying to be sensible bout this whole issue.....I now my Buddy wont come back to me in this life, but I just felt that having another dog was ok. I shocked my husband by all this who became very angry when I mentioned what I had done, so I hve really been wondering if this is the right thing to be doing so early into the loss of my Buddy....but something tells me it's ok to hve another dog & the gorgeous boy I met seemed to fit the bill....I do feel perhaps it's too early but part of me say's now is the right time with this dog I met during the week. He is 3.5yrs old & I just had this feeling that he wld fit right in with our family & I am more than willing to train him......anyways thank you for your post & I'm impressed you were able to wait longer than me....
elaine

Jess,

Awesome news about Saylor, love the name by the way. I am so proud of you for letting yourself love again. And I think our advice to all is very well said. We can love another furkid but in a different way than the one we lost because they are as different as two people are. We can love more than one person and we can love more than one furkid. I am right now on my way to pick up 2 sheltie puppies that are 7 weeks old. It's been 28 days since Sammie died (my sheltie) and my kids are the ones who convinced me to do this. I'm excited, nervous and anxious all at once. I'll let you know how the first weekend goes. Have a wonderful 4th of July and thanks for sharing your happy news.
Melanie

Elaine,

I am so excited for you. It sounds liket this boy might be the one. Don't worry about the husband, maybe his grief and expectations are different than yours. I am just so proud of you I could jump up and down and scream "yeh Elaine". Except I'm riding in a car right now so that would not be a good idea. We are on our way to pick up my two new babies. We'll be there in about 1 1/2 hours and I can't wait. I'm nervous though and I have a hundred things going through my head. I've questioned this decision, wondered if I'll be able to bond with them and love them through my grief. Then I wondered whether they would love me as much as Sammie did. And I've never trained or had two at at time so that's a little worrisome. BUT, bottom line is....I miss having a dog in my life. The void Sammie left is so lonesome. I hate coming home to this day because it hurts that Sammie is not there. I think that's one of the things I'm looking forward to the most is being excited to come home and having someone be excited to see me. I'll let you know next week how the weekend goes. I can't wait to hear what your husband and kids think? Let me know.
Love ya,
Melanie

So melanie how did it work out?
I'm praying it will be as good as our out come. Jesse has come to live with us, he is sooooo just the dog, I know how exactly u were feeling, I was almost physically sick on the dirve out there with the kids & husband. Even when we were coming home with him in the back of the car I had all those same questioning doubts, did I do the right thing. YES YES & YES.... I will post a pic of Jesse James (the kids & husband said to keep the name) so I added the James bit for his full name. I will also post a pic of my Buddy.
I cant wait to hear your story Melanie
elaine

This forum caught my eye..Made me think of when we got Arthur...Sixteen years had passed since I lost my Daisy. She was my everything!...I grieved for many many years. When we got Arthur, I was so ready for it. However, I remembered looking at him and feeling NOTHING. This sweet cute kitten, and the feeling of "betraying" Daisy somehow. How could I love another?? I couldn't believe after all those years, it never really left me. But, it only took a few days and KABOOM, head over heals in love again.
And although Arthur and I developed a special bond, it never replaces the others. It just becomes a new and special one with them..And that is so cool!...
We don't forget the ones that have gone, we never will, and they will never be "replaced"...Wishing all of you with your new furry friends another and unique special bond..Hugs..Ann

Hurray for the baby cat! You know that your Sydney would want you to be happy...I really think that our companions do.

Siamese are really great little buddies by the way. Hobbes was a Lynx point...and she picked me!
I've come across a hidden treasure though that I forgot about. Bunny Sue, the middle cat, has decided that I am hers as well. We never realized how much Hobbsy ran the house but both of the other cats have started acting a bit differently.

Elaine,

It is so amazing!!!! Those two little girls and everything I had hoped for and so much more. We got there around 1:00 on Friday. The breeder that we got them from is a real gem of a man. He loves his animals and takes amazing care of them. We met the mom and dad and saw all the other dogs and puppies and all of them are very loving,sweet animals. He's been breeding Shelties for over 20 years and he knows what he's doing. He had the girls bathed and in a little pin on his patio when we drove up. I walked up the pin and looked at those little faces and just cried..not tears of sadness but wonderful happy tears. I reached down and picked them both up and cuddled them in my neck. They kissed my face with their puppy breath and I knew this was the right decision. Not only to get a new puppy but to get two so they had each other. We took lots of pictures of where they came from and their breeder and off we were for a 5 hour drive. They slept on my daughter and my lap all the way home except a short stop. We couldn't stop staring at them, they are so sweet. When we got home at 8:00 my best friends couldn't wait so they came over to see them. There was happiness in my house again. The kids can't stop smiling and laughing and we sit around, watch them play and laugh. I am laughing again. I am happy. It is so hard to believe how much was missing from our home once Sammie was gone. I took the puppies to see Sammie's grave and both of them just laid down right there. It was like Sammie was telling them you are going to love it here. It brought good tears to my eyes. It is a little tiring getting up around 1:30 and 5:30 to let them out for pottie breaks. That's the only time they whine though is when they need to go out to potty. Although, their poor little feet have barely touched the ground. One of us is always on the floor or in the yard playing with them. They are very gentle, good natured little dogs. They are so little. Sammie weighed 37 pounds and these girl's parents weigh about 24 lbs. so they are going to be littler. We officially named them Sadie and Sofie. Sadie is a pistol. She instigates a lot of the wrestling and tackling. It is so funny to watch her grab Sofie's tail and try to pull her around. I thought I would have a much harder time bonding with them than I have. Surprisingly, it was easy. I think it's because I truly believe that Sammie knows I'm happy and she is happy for me. At one point Sadie stopped in her tracks and just starting barking that tiny little bark. Then she acted like she was chasing something. I think Sammie was there. I really do for the first time. I said, "Sammie I love you" and my family just looked at me as if I had lost my mind until I explained what happened. So very very cool. I miss Sammie and always will but I'm at peace with everything. I know there will still be sad days and triggering events but when I have them I'll just grab Sadie and Sofie and cuddle them.

Congratulations on Jesse James. YAHOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! I am so excited for you I can hardly stand it. Who would have guessed Elaine that either of us would have even considered this a few weeks ago. I am so glad we did. Now, how old is Jesse? I was thinking you said 3 years old maybe. I tried to post pictures on here but couldn't get it to work. I'll try again tomorrow. My laptop at home is in the shop for an upgrade issue. Can't wait to see Jesse. Are the kids just over the top with excitement? Has your husband fallen in love with her? It is a girl isn't it? Well time to go home and play with the girls. Isn't it fun wanting to go home again and know someone is there to greet you. I missed that so much. Enjoy Elaine. You deserve this happiness and Buddy is smiling from ear to ear right now alongside Sammie. What a pair they make.
Love to you all,
Melanie

WOW!!!! I can't believe how similar our journeys hve been, when I read your post above, I knew exactly what you were saying, it's ditto for everything for me too.
Jesse James is 3.5 yrs boy, & just like you & your family we are all doing so well. I had those same tears when I met jessie on the wednesday when I was on my own, the weight that lifted when I saw him & then touched him is something you only know about if it's happened to you, isn't it. just like you I knew that it was ok to get another dog, not just any dog but jesse. it was excruciating waiting for the w/e to come, our family feels right again, just like you, I had know idea what my Buddy actually meant, but boy oh boy I sure do know.
Jesse James will love our farm, when we go down in 2 weeks time, I'm still going to take his ashes with me, cos it just feels like the right thing to do, not to leave them there but I just feel I need to go down there with my Buddy.
Just like you I cant believe this has happened so quickly, sometimes I do feel that guilt creeping in over, not treating Buddy like I'm doing with Jesse in the last years of Buddy's life, but I try & just accept that that's all part of my grieving process over my Buddy.
I guess we will be doing some posting over in the "New Beginnings" thread....who would have thought it? not me that's for sure.
Peace Be With You All
elaine xx