I lost my girl Hobbes the cat just about two months ago. She was 20 something and she'd just faded away and died from old age. The cat lived a pretty wonderful life,living with friends of ours 'till she was 10 and then we adopted her and she was with us for 10 years. She always had food,hugs,treats and there was always another cat around her to keep her company. She lived a good life and I think she died a good death. I just feel so hopelessly sad a lot of the time.

I was devastated the first few weeks...truly in pain. The pain subsided and I stopped having to find dark corners to cry in. I was starting to come back. The last week or so has found me crying and crying again. I don't understand this. I was starting to bounce back and feel better about things. Is it normal to start feeling good and then to have this all crash down again?

Hi Ragdollfloozie, when I read your post it put a smile on my face.
I'm so happy she had a good life. what so many don't realize is that the quality of life
is what counts with a comapinion animal. Ok, about thinking you're over it, sometimes you never truly get
over it. I think there are triggers in your life that will remind you about your baby.
for instance, mine are all around me, my current cats all learned from my Bue-Bue.
They do things as he did, so this has a double edge sword. Sometimes I feel happy, and sometimes I feel sad.
Crashing down as you call it is very normal, it's how we humans are wired.

Take Care

Hi, Ragdollfloozie, Please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the loss of your beloved Hobbes. Losing a beloved companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we have been blessed with the privilege of their company. Unfortunately, yes, what you are feeling is very normal in this grief healing journey. The grief healing journey for a loss of a beloved companion is the same as for a loss of a human family member or friend. The first year is recognized by clinical professionals as being the hardest because everything is a "first" - - the first day, the first week, first month, first birthday, first holiday, first anniversary, first everything - - which is a constant reminder that the physical presence of a vital member of our household is no longer with us. There are so many ups and downs, twists and turns, highs and lows to this grief healing journey which is why it is so important that you know you are not alone. Each of us here has traveled this road at some point in time - - some are traveling it now - - and we do understand what you are going through. Sometimes as the grief healing journey progresses the feelings of sadness and sorrow can be more intense than in the beginning -- because in the beginning we are in a "survival mode" of numbness - - the body's self-defense mechanism to cope with our loss and grief. The best thing you can do is to allow yourself time to grieve your loss - - whenever you feel your grief and sorrow - - and to know that we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. Ragdollfloozie, please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hobbes looks like a beautiful cat! I've actually never heard of a cat living for 20 years and that is pretty amazing. I'm sure you know how fortunate you were to have that time with her - but I also know that knowing that doesn't take away the pain. It's never easy losing our best friends. My dog Buddy died 3 weeks ago and in the beginning I was so so sad and lonely and cried all the time. Then, slowly, I started to feel a little better and a little stronger. But in the last day or two, like you, I crashed again. I didn't realize it until later, but I had been at a baseball game and so many people there had their dogs and of course I pet them all and played with them. It was shortly after that that I became very depressed and started crying again and feeling so hopeless. So, unfortunately yes, it is normal to crash again. Perhaps there was some trigger that you were unaware of that made it all come back in full force. I'm so sorry for your pain because I know exactly how you feel. You just need to cry and grieve as you need to and I think, I hope for us all here, in time, it will be less painful but they will always be in our hearts. Take care.
Buddy's Mom

Thank you for your kind words...she was a most beautiful cat. Sometimes I'd just pick her up (she lay in my arms like a baby..that was cool) and cuddle her and marvel at what a lovely girl she was. That was only one great thing about her. She truly loved to be around people and was most patient with drunks and children. That sounds awful (the drunks part) but a rather silly friend of ours bopped into our house one night, three sheets to the wind, and proceeded to keep Hobbitty on her lap all evening. Most cats would have flipped. She also let another friends little girl pick her up and drape her over her arm and stayed (no claws out) with the child as she walked out to the kitchen. We "removed" the her from the child's arm but the cat just took it in stride. She would sit on my husband's shoulders outside on the patio and even as he walked around the house. I never went to bed without her right next to me and she would often curl up with her face on mine. Her first persons had raised her gently and because of her birth defect (she was clubfooted) they had carried her around for the first six months.

Funny thing about the clubfoot...you never noticed it when you got to know her. It altered her gait(of course)so she moved with a bit of a hopping motion and would either go on three legs or use the "wrist" part of her leg for balance. Yes! she could run...not like the wind but she could boogy when the vacuum cleaner was on. She could also jump ,and even up to about 3 months before she died, she could get up on the dining room table.

That always made me laugh because I remember the first time I met her at my friends house when she was about 5 years old. She was chasing rolled socks around and when we sat down for supper she lept up on the table and made a dive for the pork chops. She also stole soda crackers from my mom once when she visited. The next time my mom made sure the crackers and the cat were monitored...who would have thought.

Again....I want to thank you all for your kindness and thank you for giving me a chance to talk about my sweetie pie.

((((hugs)))

Ragdollfloozie:

I feel for what your going thru. I lost my Springer, "Brittany" June 24 & the wound is so fresh that no amount of bandages can heal it......Where ever I turn I think she's going to be right behind me.....All I want to do is just curl up in my bed & cry........I so feel like I'm in a "vegetable" state......Feeling her draw her last breath was so traumatic.......Everyone tells me she's at peace right now......But that doesn't make the hole in my heart any better.....Don't even feel like going inside the apt. Cause behind the door is just an apt.