I miss my cat so much. Didn't think I would ever, ever be ready this soon, but I am starting to think of getting a new cat. I miss Mouses, I miss all of her kitty things. I can't have her back...she is what I want, but I miss having a cat so much. I went to the shelter to see how I would feel. Very mixed feelings. Part of me felt like, "yes, this is what I am missing." The other part of me kept thinking, "your not my Mouses...and you'll never be."
However...the animal lover in me needs to save one now. It was so nice to see cats again. In a strange way it felt like I was seeing my Mouses again. This shelter had over 300 cats. Many in cages...row after row. This shelter also had 5 open rooms too, with about 10 cats in each free roaming room. It was such a great day. I stayed there for 2 hours. It was very emotional in many ways. I have an open heart, I have an open home...how can I just walk away??
I did not choose one yet. I will keep visiting for awhile. I love Mouses, but I also miss the cat in Mouses. I hate sleeping without a cat. I miss feeding, and brushing a cat. I even miss cleaning the litter box. I miss fur everywhere. I still can't believe how fast Mouses' hair disappeared after she went to heaven. Some part of me thought her fur would still be around.
I cried all the way home. I kept thinking..."how do I pick one...I had the best one?" I went home and looked at her pictures. She is the best cat ever. I want her...I don't want a new cat. I want my old life back. I loved my life with Mouses. UGH!!
For all of you that opened your heart again, did it help? Was it nice to just have a cat or dog again? Did you pick one to match your lost loved one...or go in the opposite direction? I tried both ways, not sure what feels more comforting. No one can match her inside, so I might just pick one that looks like her. Not sure?? Any advice? All I know is saving one would feel really nice. Those poor kitties.
Thanks, Mouses' mommy

dear mouses mommy,
what you are going thru is so natural. its called the healing process. the confusion? i can totally relate to. i dont know whether you have read my story but permit me to retell it in a few words (yeah right my little fred passed away march 8, 2009. hed been my sweet boy for over 14 years. needless to say i was just broken. i couldnt stop crying. i could only recall when my other cat riley had passed about a year earlier and thinking i hadnt stopped crying for months. i was a robot. i went to work, cried, came home, cried. well you know the routine. i didnt think i would survive it but i did and then fred died and i just didnt know how i would go on. fred was my heart and now he was gone. i felt any minute now, my heart would stop beating as well. but that actually made me happy because i wanted to see fred and riley again. well to make a long story short. the following thursday, my friend/neighbor/apt manager caught me outside as i was coming home. i never saw her. was wierd. but she asked if she could come over as she needed to talk to me. she came and told me this sad story about a little dog who needed a home. like you i love animals, but i was in the process of deciding if i would EVER have another animal in my life. losing them was too hard. but how could i say no? i know ive mentioned this before but it struck me that fred might have his hand in this. he knew his momma was dying on the inside. so i said ok. imagine that? a week after my little fred died i was taking in a little dog. they brought her over that saturday and boy let me tell you. that was so difficult. i cried because i missed my fred so much more, i pushed the dog away. i didnt want her. how could i replace her and every single emotion that you are going thru i went thru. it got so bad, towards the evening i called some friends of mine to come pick her up. well, my wonderful friends talked me thru it and lucy looked at me and with her eyes begged me not to give her away again. so i kept her. almost three months later, she has taught me so much. she has brought back the love, she has taught me that there is enough room in my heart for her and lucy and riley, and jenny and chiquita and all the sweet ones that i have had in my life. you see? getting a cat doesnt mean you are replacing mouses. and i know mouses would want you be happy again. in fact she may be playing a big part in all of this. shes watching over you. well lucy is the new love of my life but it hasnt been easy. in fact just yesterday i had a really bad day. my boss loaned me a great book "dewey" about a cat who changed the life of a little town. but the pix of the dewey reminded me so much of fred...i cried all day and all night. and ive had many of those days. but lucy is there and when mommas crying she does something to make me laugh, or she comes over and wraps her little paws around me. i like to think shes giving me a hug, but in reality i think she likes the salty tears. if it had been up to me, i probably wouldnt have lucy now, but my friend asked me to take her in so i feel i really didnt have a choice (she knew i couldnt say no). muses mom, when you go to the shelter, dont think so much about picking one that looks like mouses or one that doesnt. you will know. there are so many animals that need good homes, bless you for opening your heart and home again. i know how hard it is to love again, because we know that someday they will be gone as well. but isnt it worth it? the joys that they bring is priceless. just look into their eyes and you will know when you see the right kitten or cat for you. i know that lucy gave me my life again. like i said its not easy and you will go thru good days and bad days with your new one. but when i think back, the good days outweigh the bad ones.
well i think ive talked to much. i hope this has helped. please keep us posted. i know that i would love to read about your new little one. its very healing to all of us who read about new beginnings.
patricia

I miss Mouses:

I also got another cat after swearing I never would. Our cat Jason died in January and his buddy Fred was lonely. So eventually we decided to get him a companion - not for us, but for him. The cat we picked out I thought was totally different from the one we lost, but the longer we have her, the more traits we find she has in common with him. The two cats don't entirely get along, but I think they both like the fact that there's another cat in the house.

We saved a cat, you may save a cat. We will get attached to the little creatures, even if we don't think so now. We will love and protect them, and enjoy their personalities. Don't pick one just because it does, or doesn't, look like Mouses. Your gut will tell you which one is right for you. You will never have the same cat, but you can have another cat that is nice in its own way. You don't want to blur your memory of Mouses. She'll probably be around to help you decide...

Do you have any nice small local no-kill rescue groups, where they get to know their cats really really really well? I tend to adopt from such groups, as they have a really good understanding of the cat's personality, and that way you can get the kind of cat who will make you happy (fun and zany, or cuddly and sweet etc.). Just a thought.

I just lost my Callym a week ago, and am going through grief, guilt and all those dreadful emotions. I do have 5 other cats, and I have to say there is nothing like a kitty cuddle to give me reason to get up each day. I don't know how I would have gotten by without my other furbabies. So when the time is right, I would adopt another kitty (or maybe a pair who are already bonded - nothing is cuter than watching cats mutually groom!) - but I do recommend adopting a cat about whom you can find out something about their personality so it is a good match for you both.

PLEASE PARDON ALL CAP LETTERS. I'M TYPING WITH ONE HAND AND IT'S EASIER FOR ME. THANK YOU FOR UNDERSTANDING ...

I PRAY THAT THE FOLLOWING INFORMATION WILL BE OF HELP TO ALL OF YOU ...

1. Animal Shelter directory search by state or zip code AND IT ALSO HAS A SEARCH FEATURE AT THE UPPER LEFT ...

http://www.animalshelter.org/shelters/states.asp

2. COMPREHENSIVE LIST OF NO KILL SHELTERS IN THE UNITED STATES - No-Kill Organizations by States ...

http://www.saveourstrays.com/no-kill.htm

3. ADOPT A PET - Find Animal Shelters Near You!
The closest ones are just a click away!
HAS SEARCH FEATURE AT UPPER LEFT. "GO GET YOUR PET" ...

http://www.adoptapet.com/animal-shelters

4. ANIMAL SHELTER ORG WITH SEARCH FEATURE ...

http://www.animalshelter.org/

5. Twitter ANIMAL SHELTER INFORMATION WITH SEARCH FEATURE ...

http://twitter.com/animalshelter

THERE'S MORE BUT NUMBERS 1, 2, AND 3 SHOULD MAKE IT HAPPEN FOR YOU ALL WHO ARE SEARCHING.

WE KNOW OUR RAINBOW BRIDGE BABIES CAN NEVER BE REPLACED. THAT GOES WITHOUT SAYING. BUT, PLEASE REMEMBER THAT YOU HONOR THEIR MEMORY BY PROVIDING A LOVING HOME FOR ANOTHER FUR OR FEATHER KID IN DESPERATE NEED. DUE TO THEIR FUR KID SORROW, ABANDONMENT, LONELINESS, MANY ARE RUNNING OUT OF TIME AND DOWN TO THEIR LAST DIME. THEY NEED A HERO! THEY NEED EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU WONDERFUL FUR KID MOMMIES AND DADDIES!!!

I WISH YOU ALL THE JOY, COMPANIONSHIP AND UNCONDITIONAL LOVE YOU SEEK IN YOUR ADOPTED FUR AND/OR FEATHER KID!!!



ALWAYS,
DOTTIE xoxoxox

A few months after I lost Arthur, I started going to the shelter. Not to adopt but to fill my void. No one could ever replace the ones we lost. Simple, can't be done. But a new journey is ahead. I am in a situation I can't have another cat., so I take care of lots of them instead. Very challenging. I want them all, but spending time there and getting to know them, you get drawn in by some. I say just go there often and when it's right, you'll feel that invisible pull, and you'll know who to pick. Sounds wierd, but you'll see. I've heard mixed reviews about getting one that is similar. Some say yes, others say go opposite. I say just let your heart feel....Best of luck...Ann

Patricia, jasonsmom, AngelCareOne, Scarlett, and Ann,

Thanks to all of you for your great advice. Your ALL right! I am so lost without Mouses I forgot how I always used to pick out a cat. I like how Ann puts it: " when it's right, you'll feel that invisible pull." That is how I always used to pick out a cat. I just want to see Mouses' classic tabby swirl pattern again so much, that I forget what is important when it comes to picking out a good cat. If I am lucky...maybe I can have both. I really do love that pattern. Is there a breed out there known to live the longest?

Thanks everyone. Chris (Mouses mommy)

Hi Scarlett.

I do live near an awesome no-kill (real one) shelter. This shelter has a meet-your-match survey. They take matching you up with the kind of cat who will make one happy very seriously. Not just for us, but for the kitty too! I think there is like 7 different types: sidekick, personal assistant, etc. Great advice! Thanks.

I read your post. I am very sorry about your loss. I am glad you have 5 other cats to help ease the pain. Take Care. Chris (Mouses mommy)