Hi everyone, I'm new to this site, but I sure wish I would have found it sooner. I had to put my sweet baby girl, Sadie, to sleep almost three weeks ago. She lost a battle with bone cancer; her vet and I thought she had arthritis, and when I took her to a specialist and found out she actually had bone cancer, it was only one short week before I tearfully made the realization that she couldn't make it through the night. (!) I have gotten past feelings of "maybe I waited too long to end her suffering," "I wish I could've been able to afford amputation surgery & chemotherapy," and "What did I do to deserve this bad karma?" (Sadie would've been six years old on 12/27/04). I'm not sad for my Honey Bear anymore, because she isn't suffering. Now, I am just sad for myself, and although it's only been three weeks (tomorrow), I am still very, very sad and feeling alone. I always used to say, "I don't know WHAT I will do when my dog dies!" And I couldn't have been more right. I don't know what to do. I miss her terribly, and I feel like it's impossible to live without her.

Stephanie

Stephanie,
I am sooooo sorry to hear about your loss. It hit me hard because my boy passed away this year too and he looked a lot like your baby girl Sadie. Everyone here is or has gone through what you are going through. It is not an easy road . . . but it will get better. I still cry for my best buddy and it has been almost six months. He went with me everywhere his first two years of being with me and things changed as they always do in life. Recently, I adopted trying to save a life and try to put back some happiness in my life from missing my boy and that went bad and had to take him back to the shelter. So I am feeling a little guilty again. Sadie was here for you when you needed her and you gave her the gift of letting her go when it was going to get worse for her. That is the biggest thing we can do for our furbabies. It is never an easy decision but we do it for them not ourselves. Please take time for yourself and knowing that you did a good thing for Sadie and she really isn't gone . . . she is in your heart and will never leave. Do what ever makes you feel good and brings back the good memories of Sadie. A lot of people here have done different things to celebrate the lives of their furbabies. I am glad you found this site because there are a lot of good people here and they understand what each of us is going through because they have been there at one time or another. Hang in there and come here and write or just read and let yourself grieve and then heal. My thoughts are with you and Sadie. Sadie is up there romping with my Indy and they are happy and healthy and whole once again!!!!!!!
ChrissyW

Im so sorry Its really hard isnt it? But you can talk to all of us my friend.
Sadie is so very gorgeous! ! Was that taken provesionally? shes a total darling (you know she still is!) she is right there with you know!
Jaymie x

Ah! Beautiful and Sweet Sadie. No wonder you miss her. I am so very sorry for your loss.
Is is wonderful that you have gotten past the feelings of guilt. It is also very insightful and honest of you to admit that now, you are simply feeling very sad for yourself. However you are mistaken in feeling alone. By coming to this site you are about to receive compassion, empathy, understanding and prayers. Of course that won't make the pain disappear, but it will comfort you tremendously.
Please keep writing, and when you feel up to it, please share more of Sadie's life with us.
Stephanie, please take care of yourself
Nicole

I am so sorry for your loss. I to lost my little boy to cancer. Sadie was a beautiful dog. She was lucky to have you in her life. Do not kick your self about not doing chemo or anything else. There are no guarantees with cancer, even if you spend allot of money.

I choose not to do chemo, because even if he had no reactions to it, it would only spare his life a few more months. I didn't want to chance making him more sick. What was left of his life I wanted it to be the best I could give him.

Remember how Sadie loved you. She still loves you, only now in spirit. She is happy and healthy and will never want for anything again. The rainbow bridge is not far and I am sure she visits you often.

Love and belief,
Vicki

Dear Stephanie,

What a beautiful girl your Sadie was. I’m so sorry for your loss. How well I know about going to the vet and coming home with a diagnosis of cancer. My sweet Shiloh was diagnosed with lymphoma last May. Even though I was able to do chemo-therapy with her, the type of cancer she had was extremely aggressive and she lost the battle on September 17th. She was only 5 years old. Don’t feel bad about not doing the chemo…there are no guarantees with Chemo, as I found out with Shiloh.

I can also relate to you saying you wouldn’t know what to do if your dog died. I use to say the same thing to Shiloh. I’d hug her real close and say “I don’t know what I’d do with out my Shiloh.”

I miss my pup so much. This website has been so helpful. I hope you find the healing here that I have. Keep sharing and reading…it really does help.

Take care,
Kathleen

What a precious beautiful girl your Sadie was! I am so very sorry for your loss. Three weeks -- not really very long in the lonely journey of grief. We know how it feels, just being totally lost and crushed, not knowing how to go on. You are in my thoughts. Keep coming here. Everyone helps each other on this site, and there are wonderful, caring people here. Bless you.