My little dog (Bichon) Wally Baxter died in September. He was only 6, and I had to have him put to sleep because he had such terrible epileptic fits and he was having 10 of them a day.....it was time.

He died with me sitting on the vet's floor with Wally laying on my lap with his head resting on my arm, his nose between my arm and my stomach.....me telling him what a good boy he was, as he fell asleep and that was our parting.

I loved him so much. I've posted before with the details. He was my child as far as I was concerned. However, whenever I think of him, I either end up talking to him in heaven, and I know he's there as I have to believe that love that powerful is something valuable to God. If not, I want to go where he went :-)

Last night I saw a monologue on youtube where a guy was talking about his dog's death and he showed his dog's grave with his ball on the grave, and I just started crying again. I had to be consoled by my girlfriend. I found myself thinking about him again tonight and the tears were dripping (though this time I wasn't bawling like last night). My girlfriend sent me the photo below in email and it cheered me up and stopped the tears as I couldn't stop laughing. The dog on the left is smiling going "Oh boy.....what a feast!"....crack me up....see below....comments continue after the photo...



Well while that stopped the tears for now, I have to tell y'all that those tears keep coming. At first I told myself it's healthy to let it out. I'm depressed by other things too (been unemployed as an engineer for over a year now).....but it's my dear dear Wally Baxter that makes me cry. I miss him so so so much....it just aches. I don't want to get another dog in case I lose my home due to not finding work. I also feel that it's too soon and that I'll be "cheating" on Wally. I know that logically that doesn't make sense, but emotionally, I can't control that.

I feel better now that I've seen that photo again and that I've had a chance to vent here. Thank you all and thanks be to God for this site.

-Donald

No you are not nuts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My loss was over 8 months ago and sometime the least little thing can set me off on a bawling session. It is all natural. We are not completely healed. (may never be) Crying and venting are ways to let it out.
I too was afraid my Sissycat was think I was forgetting her if I got another pet. I did wait for several months till I found the right kitten and I did take another in. There are just so many innocent pets that need and want a loving home I couldn't wait anymore. I know my Sissycat would want me too.

Sending you hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

you are completely normal and it is healthy to let it out. What good would it do you if you felt these feelings but stopped yourself crying.
If it was a person that died you probably wouldn't even wonder if it was normal but losing a pet is the same. Its still great loss whoever we lose.

For me it is 3 years since my dog Jack died, also before his time I felt. I still cry for him now.

It doesn't mean that you are not coming to terms with losing Wally. Crying is just a way of letting our feelings out when we feel sad and there is nothing wrong with that. I am sure you will feel much worse if you hold it in.

I know that feeling, that your dog was child. Jack was like that to us too and so of course the grief when they leave us is unbearable.

I can tell you that it gets easier but you never forget them.

sounds like you have a great supportive girlfriend too.

take care
Von

No, you are not nuts. Still Crying? Very, very normal. With the passing of time, the pain becomes bearable but it never goes away completely because we love them so very much and so we miss them and always will.....and so the pain comes and goes.

Come here anytime and vent. We are listening. We all share the same pain because we have all lost that same special love, more than one time.

It is okay to cry. This can hit you out of the blue anytime and it is okay to give in and allow yourself to grieve again. We always try to take steps forward to heal but sometimes, we fall backwards a little and that's normal...that's okay.

It is good to hear about the email your girlfriend sent you that helped. She does sound very supportive.

Yes, as you thought, it is healthy to let it out. That just happens to us and it is okay and normal.

You are not alone in what is happening. Many here have gone through the same thing. There are no time limits on grief. We work to make it bearable...then one day...something or nothing can trigger it again but we have learned to manage it most days so it is okay to just let go and cry.

Take care and come back anytime.
Judy

P.S. I forgot to add that years ago my beautiful 3 year old girl, golden shepherd/boxer, had to leave me due to epileptic fits so I truly understand what you were going through with your boy.

What a great picture. Made me laugh too. Yes, I remember Wally Baxter. Everyone is different. It takes time. I'm going on over 8 mo and let me tell you, I have to be really occupied to not cry. I cannot talk to my partner about Arthur, he knows I'll start crying and he doesn't want to hear it. So I'm still here. If I'm not crying uncontrolably, I'm trying to catch myself from doing so. Your not crazy, or silly, Wally was your child, your boy. Unfortunately a lot of people don't understand that. I chuckled when you said you couldn't get another dog right now, it would be like cheating on Wally. That's exactly what happened to me. Daisy was my soulmate and I died a thousand deaths when I lost her. 16 years passed b4 I had another cat (Arthur). I use to call him baby, I couldn't even get use to calling his name(that I picked out). Like I was trying to block something from happening. But it happened a few days later; I fell head over heals in love with him. Take your time, you'll know when it is right and you'll find love again. You'll find that feeling of cheating silly when you do fall in love with another. Look at it as a continuation. No they will never replace or be Wally, but it will be a whole new experience. Another to cherish and be grateful for. I'm glad you came back for support..Hugs. Ann

Thank you all for your support. This site is great. I've been through here a few times to help others, but not enough. After I had my "breakdown" I decided I should post here. That and the photo both helped a lot. Your replies helped even more. This site definitely does what it says it does.
Thank you all again. I really appreciate it.
-Wally's Dad

Ann, I'm surprised your partner isn't more supportive. Do you mean that he doesn't see why you should be so emotional? Didn't he love the pet too? You have to have someone to cry to, or it'll get bottled up inside. If he isn't supportive on that then I'd recommend you see a counsellor. A counsellor isn't going to judge you and can help with grief counselling. I've used counselling in the past for other things like anxiety and I can say from experience there is nothing wrong with it and it can be very therapeutic.

Hope you too come to terms with your grief.

I'll probably get a new puppy when I can get my life more stable with work and what not. I know that a new puppy is the ultimate cure.

Thank you for your kind comments.
-Wally's Dad

If you are, then most people here must be. It has almost been a year for me, and I still have bad sinking moments, even though I have a new buddy who is a source of delight for me.
They are all different people, and cannot be replaced.
Grief is normal and healthy. What are we supposed to do, laugh? We lost our best friend, who totally gave us unconditional love, and a kind we rarely get IF EVER, from fellow humans!

I dread finding her hidden toys when I move furniture, because I know it will all come crashing down again.

I know the feeling Jon. It was a year ago this last November that Goliath passed away. Just this last weekend, I was cleaning out a closet and found another one of his bimple bones. No doubt I'll come across more of Goliath's little mementos. Each time I do..... I like to believe it's his way of saying "hello."

I guess I'm nuts just like the rest of you here too.

My dog Candy died back in June 20th of last year and I still cry when I think of her and what she went through. Even though I have new babies in the house, they can never replace the love I had for her. I was looking at some photo's this weekend in fact that I haven't seen in a while. I broke down.

So no, it's very normal what you are going threw. After all, these are our babies.

Hang in there

Candy's Dad
Hal