Hi Jan. So many profound thoughts going on on this thread, what can I add except this find that you might like to share with all the gang here. Courage and know you are getting there, no doubt, the universe is unfolding as it should.



Hugs and may the magic of all that you are sweep away the wrong and keep only what is good close to your heart.

WOW TOONIE! What a profound quote this is. Jan, I too have been following the ongoing discussion here in your thread. I have to tell you how much I admire your proactive approach in finding what it is you need to get through this turmoil and uncertainty in your life. Keep seeking and you will find your way!

Sometimes I use the Serenity Prayer to adjust my attitude.

GOD GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE
COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN
AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE

When that prayer doesn't work, I use the short version. F*** It!

Hugs,
Beth

Beth,

Two very good prayers!

Ginger

Oy! ...."how great life is for him now"!?!?! No KIDDING that's hurtful!!! Even MY ex-doink wasn't doing crap like that....that I know of! In light of this new info., I repeat my earlier statement -- what an A**!!!! Maybe he's even a sociopath or something? You might try googling symptoms of that, or other such afflictions (even such things as forms of autism), and see if a bunch of them might fit him! It really sounds like there's something very wrong with him. And you're very right.....there IS the whole snow thing, too, which is incredibly selfish in the worst sense of the word. Man-oh-man.....yes, it's all about HIM, isn't it? You have every RIGHT to be angry, Jan. I'd have to be glad I DIDN'T own a gun, were I his ex!! Hey, if you run into this sorry excuse for a man again.....maybe you should quickly bend over and pick some trash off the ground and ask him "Excuse me, but is this a piece of your brain"???

I didn't really mean, though, that you either ought to or even really could, empathize with him...but more like IF you could discover any info. that added to some understanding of him, the why's, etc., that may end up helping you help yourself step away a bit more from taking it so personally, which might diminish the pain somewhat. However, even under more 'normal' circu*mstances, that would take anyone awhile, maybe months or even years. It all usually adds up slowly. And sorry I wasn't clearer on that. Something's always a bit lost in print versus talking, where you can expound on things more easily. So, whatever I might say, just take whatever you might like or use, if anything, and leave the rest, K?

Remember that older song, "You Jerk"? Lyrics and video here. You might want to belt this one out!!

I'd like to agree with your alien idea.....but supposedly we're all really from the Pleiades ourselves, so I'd hate to insult us all!

It's good that you're cycling up and down with the pain, even if it's intense....but I'm SO sorry it's as bad as it is. If it gets stuck in ONE direction only, then you should be more concerned and get some help. That retching has gotta be an extreme stress reaction but if that continues, maybe you should consider seeing a doctor, as you could be literally making yourself sick. Other than that I think you're 'working' it as well as can be expected and your self-talk is a great method. No, of course you, or anyone, can't stop every thought. If you had no thoughts, you'd REALLY be totally dead! And yes, the objective is to let things flow through as much as possible. It's like having emotional diahrrea & it needs to be expunged. Otherwise all that garbage ends up trapped in cellular memory/in the body and you have to work doubly hard to eradicate it all. You know, if you can find a therapist out there who does SRT therapy, I think you might really not only ENJOY it, but it could do you a world of good. And a good SRT therapist will teach you the process so you can do it on your own whenever you need it. Many people only need up to about 6 sessions, btw.

For seeing Zita (and your other glimpses into that dimension...and yes, now I remember reading that one), I've still not found anything either that explains, on a more consistent basis for most people why we do or don't get what we'd like, but I suspect it may be as you think - for our 'highest good', whether we can see that or not. But it's extremely frustrating after a time! I've never really gotten a good sense about us 'blocking' the process, though, since ADCs often happen to those in the very worst throes of grief, when you'd think you'd be 'blocked' the most, yet ALSO can be years later, when we're a LOT more peaceful about our loss, or anywhere in between! And with me, honestly, I fully expected Nissa to show up in some more tangible way, just as her brother did, so according to the LOA, that ought to have been the case! It's only been since that hasn't happened in those types of ways that I've likely become more blocked, so...... ???

You bet!, and it's another thing now verified by scientific experiments, such as The Intention Experiment (the original one at any rate), some TM studies and others such as Dr. Dossey's "Healing Words". (his site here.)

And all that love right back at ya, girl! Let it do its good work on your behalf!

Toonie - yes, WOW! FABULOUS poem to share!

Beth - heh-heh-heh. That shorter version sounds soooo familiar somehow....

Hi Jan- I don't think it was that your ex didn't love you. I think he loved you to the best of his ability. However, I think he is very "emotionally" immature, from some of his actions now. My ex was the same way. It's like the person I had known had completely gone away and been replaced by this mean, hateful, spiteful person. It was so confusing and hurtful to me. I didn't understand, and I didn't understand why he could throw me away either.

I was in so much pain at the time it was really hard, compounded at the time with the loss of my job and passing of loved one. He went out and met other women, flaunted them in front of me, would call me and make a point that I knew about it. I just couldn't understand. But here's what I think happened. I think he- and your ex also- are people that are very unhappy with THEMSELVES. I think they are not able to acknowledge that what happens in their life is their doing and their choice, and their own happiness depends on them. I think they blame other people when things go wrong, or they are upset, or unhappy. They NEVER look into themselves to see what is going on. It's alway's someone else's "fault". I was a convient scapegoat, as you are right now. My ex had a terrible time making himself happy in life, which had nothing to do with me, so he finally got to the point where he considered everything about himself that he didn't like, was my fault. So he took all that energy and blamed everything on me. That allowed him to move on very quickly, and be so horribly mean and cruel to me. He used me as a scapegoat for his unhappiness. BUT, he never dealt with his feelings of loss from our break-up, or went through the grief of it. Which I think ultimately crippled him. I think 5 1/2 years later now, he has had a TERRIBLE time actually getting over our break-up, because he CHOOSE not to deal with it in the first place. And your ex is doing the same, and the same thing will happen to him. Right now it's just convient to blame you for everything, that way he does not have to face HIMSELF and look inward.

It took me a long time to realize that and stop blaming myself, and thinking there was something wrong with me. I actually look back at that time with joy, because although it was one of the most intense pains I have ever felt, it was also such a period of self-awakening and self-realization, that I finally came to just love myself for who I was. I didn't think I did when I was with my ex. He put me down all the time and I hadn't even realized it.

You will be so much stronger for going through this. And at the moments you feel the pain is the most crippling, (OHHHHHHHH do I remember those moments), just remember to keep breathing and moving forward. Moments of joy will come to you, as you are "liberated" from your ex. I remember so clearly all the pain I went through, those nights lying in bed crying, feeling like my entire world had crashed around me, and that there was nothing good left in this world. But wow, the person that came out of that pain, is so much happier and stronger, and you will be too.

So when you think about your ex, just realize he is making bad decisions not to face his grief over the loss of this relationship, which will ultimately affect him so much more in the long run, and he may never be able to get over it. At least you have the courage to face the pain and work through it. I am so proud of you. And just remember he is going to blame all his own "unhappiness" on you, because he can't face the fact that he causes his own unhappiness.

Furkidlets Mom- I read your post and I couldn't agree with you more, especially about the "punishment" thing. I don't believe an all powerful being would have those kind of feelings, they would be so highly evolved it would be beyond own ability to comprehend. Such good thoughts! And that made me so happy that you thought I saw Ren's soul- that made me happy all day yesterday after I read it. It was just the strangest thing. And the second time it happened, the night before my cat Jasmine had been "seeing things" that were not there, again. It's really, really baffling to watch her do that. And I did see Ren 3D also, one day when I came home from work, I walked in the door, saw Ren coming down the stairs, and thought, Oh there's Ren.... and turned to finish walking in the door. It took me a moment to realize what I had just seen, and then it hit me. And Jan mentioned she hadn't dreamed of Zita or Ziggy. I feel Ren has come through to me so much, but not Zorro, and Nemo only once in a dream. It's not that Zorro loved me less, but sometimes I wonder if he is "busy" and can't come through like Ren can at this point.

FK Mom, Bubba, Jan... YES I think the truth about our universe and our existence is stranger than fiction. Thanks for you thoughts.... it's so good to learn about stuff like this. I watched a show on either Nova or Dis. Channel, called "Parallel Universes". Anyways, it has to do with a lot of everything we have been talking about- particles existing in different dimensions, string theory, and that our universe - is actually all CONNECTED- that everything and everyone are connected together. Just like Jan was writing about nonlocality. They also think that all different universes are "floating" together in the 11th dimension, and when they collide, a big bang happens. I think they also said that they think gravity actually leaks from another universe into ours. And this is all researched by Science! So if all this is possible, how could it not be that we will see our loved ones again. How could they ever truly disappear? So could heaven be another universe that we go into? And sometimes our loved ones can visit us from that other universe? And is science on the verge of proving this...... VERY interesting stuff.

Toonie- LOVED your quote about giving up and letting go, and letting be..

HAPPY FRIDAY everyone! It's snowing like crazy here!
Ren, Zorro and Nemo's Mom

Nemo's Mom,

Great sharing for Jan! She should listen to your wise words!

Hey, all you 3Ders, you lucky sods!, you should start a club!

Re: the universal stuff:
And hence, everything IS, in reality, the 'mystical' ONE, that is becoming a lot more understandable (and far less classically 'mystical') every single day! Yipee!! They actually think there are at LEAST 12 dimensions, and likely many more. Gravity, btw, according to the scientists, will be changing on earth in the not too distant future. And our magnetic poles are supposedly actually going to physically REVERSE, and pretty soon! (whatever that means for us, I'm not sure)

Exactly. It CAN'T be otherwise, because we ARE them in some gloriously limitless way, as they ARE us....because we're 'each' all part of and wholly linked with the Whole....the same Whole that's been there forever but we just forgot about in our little 'jaunt' into this dimension. This last bit is how I've gleaned it anyway, from what I've read and heard and from certain experiences. That's why the mystics always talk about only a thin "veil" seeming to separate us and how we can part that veil if we want to, as many already have and are doing more and more all the time. 'Soon' it will be the norm, once we reach what they call "critical mass" (which actually isn't that large a % of the earth's population, it sounds like) & we'll all be laughing our heads off at how blind we all were in our ignorance!

Just so, and truly as close as our breath, not 'up there' at all. (this concept was even covered in The Secret movie) It's just up to us to figure out how to open ourselves to it....many paths, but all eventually lead back to Source. From all I've been reading, and "The Course" covered this, too...."Heaven" WILL be right on earth at some point, which just means we'll finally be able to break through, see and interact with those other planes of existence....at least those of us who are open enough to it will. Then WE'LL be the ones living on a higher plane, and those who choose (for whatever reasons) to stay more energetically dense, will disappear from OUR regular view. Plus, all that happens to/with each soul, no matter where, affects the entire universe.

I finally found a link to the show we'd watched on YouTube. This link splits it into a few segments, but I believe it's the whole video. It's called The Illusion of Reality and was a great synopsis of where we've been and where we've gotten to so far, science-wise, and what we now know. (you won't believe how little of this has trickled down to the public at large in all this time...stuff that should be in all the schools by now!) The whole thing runs about an hour, I think. You might be able to find another link to the all-inclusive video though - I didn't look for one. However, this blogspot contains many more related videos. What I love about these things is that they appeal more to the rational side of my brain and I don't have to try to decipher poetic, mystical ruminations anymore. And there's just an endless supply of stuff like this everywhere now....finally! I KNEW I shoulda gone into the sciences when I was young!

And is anyone else aware that Darwin was remorseful about certain, very key aspects of his own "Origin of the Species" after it was published? Aspects that would have changed how we viewed almost everything related to our universe. But did we hear about that, either in school? No. (you can read "The Biology of Belief" by Bruce Lipton, Ph.D. if you're interested) There's a whole whack of vital, scientific AND 'mystical' info. that's been kept hush-hush and never taught....until now. We've been packed SO full of misinformation, it's incredible.

Thanks for sharing that poem. It is like removing all judgement could set us free.....

That judgement of self is sometimes the worst...

Jan.

Hi Beth!

I love the "ever-worldly" short version... thanks for your thoughts.



Jan.

Thanks F's Mom



I think the stuff about his grief over his previous wife is hard to take because in a way he's using it as a cop out for dealing with all his feelings and *all* his problems. It seems like running away is the solution for him.

Thanks for the "Jerk" song, yeah a little expressing of anger doesn't hurt to let the feelings flow!



Well, I just ate a meal now and that went okay. Stuff stays in but I just can't eat a lot. I am retching less now, but my appetite still isn't in any way "normal". I am taking flower essences and I do believe they are helping. I am seeing my doctor on Monday anyway.



What is SRT therapy?

>I've never really gotten a good sense about us 'blocking' the process, though, since ADCs often happen to those in the >very worst throes of grief, when you'd think you'd be 'blocked' the most, yet ALSO can be years later, when we're a LOT >more peaceful about our loss, or anywhere in between! And with me, honestly, I fully expected Nissa to show up in >some more tangible way, just as her brother did, so according to the LOA, that ought to have been the case! It's only >been since that hasn't happened in those types of ways that I've likely become more blocked, so...... ???

I'm really not sure about blocking... for me when I really badly want contact (for myself not others!) it seems not to happen. That could sometimes be because my thoughts interfere. But I think the main reason it is being blocked is that the time is just not right. It could even be that because I don't have this deep contact I desire I continue to strive to higher spiritual places, and maybe that is part of my path...

I will check out your links later. Can't tear myself away from this thread but I do have work to do!

Jan.

Hi Nemo's Mom

Your post to me is really, really helpful. You get exactly what I am going through. I've heard some explanations of x-h's behaviour; that he really wasn't ready to marry, or otherwise sympathetic sounding reasons for his behaviour and I end up feeling disempowered by those ideas. I am realizing it's because there is much more underlying this. His complete lack of care and self-centredness, even cruelty (advertising he is single within 3 weeks of leaving me when he knew how hurt I was, not even leaving one flippin' flashlight for me, bragging about how happy he is without the burden of "me"...) None of that is explained by true "loving" feelings of a deceased partner. I am understanding through your post what exactly bothers me about what he's done and feeling reassured that this isn't about me and that I will get through it.

I am so glad to hear that you look back on that time period in your life with joy. I hope this will be the case for me also.

Thank you for being proud of me too - I really need that right now... all too much!

Happy Friday to you and everyone else - you are such a great bunch and I've been learning so much here!

Jan.

I will just say also that purple, to me, is a very spiritual colour in an aura. So maybe it was indeed your sign that Ren's spirit was with you.

Jan.

To all my gal pals here---------I just think it would be nice if our departed loved ones, human and animal alike would show up a little more often to let us know that all the after-life stuff we talk about here is really true.Perhaps the Program Director only gives furlough passes out on rare occasions.............

Bubba.....................

Yah, Bubba, I know what you mean and I wish the same thing. But although that veil is supposed to be very thin, it also takes a certain amount of one's (higher) energy to reach through it and effectively make yourself known to us denser bodily incarnations! And actually, that's one reasonable explanation I've heard that I can more easily buy for why some come through and others either don't, or not in the same BOLDER ways. It's all dependent upon the level of energy they have....what-all really determines that.

But maybe we could start a petition FOR what we want to see! I hear angels can carry energetic buckets of our 'stuff' away to be transformed, so why not letters of desire?!

P.S. I've got goosebumps from you calling us your "gal pals"......cuz that was yet another nickname I often called my Nissa-kins!

Sorry 'bout the goosebumps.If I see an angel I'll give it a couple of buckets to get things rolling...........
.....B...............

Hi all

The day before yesterday I heard Rosie bark again. Then yesterday as I was headed with the dogs to my car I thought she was behind me for a minute, and I looked back, didn't see her, but "felt" her if you know what I mean. I think she was with us for awhile.

Then last night, my first dream ever about Ziggy. But it wasn't one of those vibrant amazing kind of dreams. I just saw her and matter-of-factly said that she was my "best cat ever". She was shiny and her coat was more vibrant and orange than before. In my dream there was a journey to be made by truck and I thought it impractical that a cat come along. Maybe this is a way of saying that this journey of mine now would not have been right for her somehow.... and maybe that's why she had to go...

Hope everyone is coping. The snow is still frozen solid here, and isn't melting but at least it's subsided from actually snowing. My poor father at 77 has been over 3 weeks and shovelled for 6 days, only "breaking the ice" literally speaking. At least I can get away sometimes and have even managed to have a few visitors despite the tricky parking!

take care

Jan.

Oh wow!! That is awesome about your dream of Ziggy! And that is so interesting about the truck. I totally agree it could mean that the journey is yours now. that is just wonderful! And the part about the coat- more vibrant and orange... that really makes me think it was your dear Ziggy visiting you in your dreams.

That's so good to hear about Rosie barking again, too- and then that you felt her. Rosie must have felt such a very special connection to you.

Furkidlet's Mom- some great things to think about in your post. I went back and read it several times.... lots of GOOD information in there, stuff to really think about. And it is so exciting to be living in these times when they are starting to discover all of this. We just have to learn to open our minds to it. I haven't had time to read the Illusion of Reality, but I definitely plan on watching it.

On the purple aura- I had googled that right after it happened, and it said, "Raised consciousness and mental ability, able to travel mind and space", and "Spiritual attainment, divine connection, mystical understanding, cosmic consciousness". I thought that was really interesting!

Jan- your ex is just so like mine. Absolutely immature and never able to face his own feelings....it's kind of sad, really.

Bubba.. yes, it would be nice if they could show up all the time, but I think you are right... perhaps they can only go through the "veil" at certain times or places in time. Hmm.......

Ren, Zorro, and Nemo's Mom

Jan-
Finally Ziggy!!!!!!!!!! I am really happy for ya!!!!!!!! Great News!!!!!!!!!!
Bubba...............

Sorry, Jan, that I didn't get a reply in earlier. If you noticed any of my posts, I've been really down in the last few days, too.

That's so wonderful - both Rosie AND Ziggy, all in a few days' time! Sounds like they're both trying to help you out however they can during this horrid time, and isn't that what they do best?!

I just recalled another sign Nissa had been sending continually (like Rosie is now for you) for quite a few months right after she'd transitioned. At the time I was sort of second-guessing it and wondering about other, possible rational explanations for it, such as heat build-up/cool-down, natural house creaking and the like, even though I didn't really think that was it. We both used to hear the kitchen counter making noises...the same sound that Nissa's feet made when she'd land on the countertop after jumping down from her pillow-vested cupboard above the fridge. In the last year or so before she 'left', we'd most often had to help her down from there, as the angle of the jump was rather difficult and we didn't want her hurting herself unduly. So it was as if she was then saying, "I'm here, and LOOK! I can once again do this as easily as I always used to!" Anyhoo, I just realized the other day that I'd not been hearing these sounds anymore, so they'd only been going on during a certain time period, before stopping. And that, to me, speaks to their validity as a "sign of the times". It had also struck me at the time that, just like her brother, she was using a sign already familiar to ME and even to HER, since she and I used to both hear Sabin jumping down from his various snooze spots.

So, Rosie's chosen HER favourite way of coming through to you, so you'll always recognize it! Just lovely!


I think that's a very valid possibility. For all you know, maybe Ziggy would have become sick had she had to go through all of today's turmoil, and that might have actually ended up being even worse for the both of you. It's worth keeping in mind as a possible reason in that bigger picture that we can't usually see in the moment. If it helps take the edge off even a bit, that's reason enough to use these considerations until more aspects might fall into place later on.

That's also really loving of your dad to hack away at that stuff for you. The ones who REALLY love you always make that extra effort to try to help out in some way whenever they can, right? This has been another lesson for me, too, lately, realizing all the times I took, and deeds I did, to help someone out, who didn't make the same kind of consistent efforts for me. I'm still very grateful for what they did do for me, but on the whole, the scales weren't balanced well enough to keep the relationship going. And I've now come to think I'm worth more than that, period, so I'm not willing to settle for less in any important relationship.

Yes, I really think there was a message there about Ziggy. In the dream I was consciously thinking that this truck ride would not be fun for a cat. The dates she was shot and her actual death always struck me as a little more than coincidence. She was shot on x-h's previous wife's date of death, then died on my x-partner's previous wife's date of death (very significant in my life!) Also she died at 6 a.m., x-partner's wife died at 6 p.m. Perhaps they were signs that it was "meant to be" as awful as that seems. I love my Ziggy and always will whether she is here on in spirit. She really was my "best ever" cat, Zita too, I hope one day I'll have a dream about Zita also.

Yes, it's funny with Rosie. I hadn't felt or heard anything for awhile, but it was like there she was behind us. I honestly think Rosie was a very sad dog for much of her life. She was very sensitive and there has been a lot of upheaval in her life, long before I came into it. I like to think she still wants to join me on a walk despite her difficult life on earth. Someday I will hold her again and we will share joy without all the interferences that were here between us.

And yeah, x-h - I found a link that sorta explains the behaviour. http://www.winning-teams.com/narcissism_causes.html

Well I'm starting to feel like the fog is lifting finally. I have actually had moments of peace and even laughter and happiness. I don't know why but when I go to my pottery class and talk to my instructor the whole thing strikes me as funny. Maybe I'm losing my mind, but if it feels good so be it! I am so reassured by what you have told me about your situation and I really am starting to believe that this had to happen so that my life could open up to a happier, higher place. After all, x-h is just not who I thought he was. The more I know him now the more I realize he was very good at mirroring what I wanted, but that even he probably has no clue who he is. But this is not my problem now. He creates his own karma and I can live with my own actions and reactions. I would not want to be in his skin.

thanks a bunch and for sharing your own experiences which have helped me a lot.

Jan.

Yeah but it's weird Bubba. If I hadn't really made a mental note about it right away when I woke up I doubt I'd have even remembered it. Which makes me wonder, do they visit us often, when we are sleeping... we just don't remember later? It wasn't like in my dream it was this great reunion. She was just there, like always, like she had never left....

aw my Ziggy I do miss the little thing and her running to the tap for water, and the big, big purr... I do miss my little sweet baby.

I was talking to my doctor and told her what had happened and I managed to hold it together until I mentioned Ziggy. With all the cruel stuff x-h has done, it was still Ziggy who actually made me cry. Ziggy was real. Her love was real and everything about her was honest and true. Not like x-h who doesn't even know himself.

This is why I love animals. They don't know how to pretend! (Except my old Merlin who would trick my other dog by vying for my attention, then go steal his bone when the other dog came to see what was going on!!! )

Animals are so real and so present. We are so lucky to have our pets.

Jan.