Ouch, I think I actually miss that too, but boy, did it hurt.

And you cracked me up about kicking the water bowl. Can't tell you how many times I did that.

Your post brought a smile to me. Thanks for sharing.

Candy's Dad
Hal

I'm glad I could help you smile Hal. I know there are days I need a little help.

Hugs,
Marcie

Thank you AngelCareOne. That is so sweet. I love that picture of Omar. So young and healthy.

I found a piece of fur today...at the oddest place. WORK! I brought a box into the office that I wanted to use to mail something at the post office. When I went to seal it closed, I found a piece of fur stuck to the address label that was on it. I picked it off...tickled my nose with it a few times and then got a piece of tape and taped it on a piece of paper at my desk so it's with me here. I miss him. Seeing pictures of him brings tears to me more now it seems. They are good and sad tears. Can't believe it's been so long.

Dearest Omarmommy, I feel so very, very thrilled for you! How wonderful, Hon. Okay, I took another photo of Omar and ... This is the very first time I've used these enhancing features so I didn't get it quite right and sort of messed up your fur baby Omar's right (well, really left) eye when I did painting and ... Well, the size, shape and so on of his iris and pupil aren't just right yet. But! I still have in save the original so will go back and practice some more until I get it down to a fine science. Anywhooo, this is what I have so far and will make it better. I hope you like it and it brings you some comfort and joy, Dear One!

Tons of Hugs and Sloppy Omar Fur Dog Puppy Kisses!!!



Big Hugs and Lotsa Love to You and Fur Kid Omar!!!

Your Pal Always,
Dottie xoxoxox

Thanks Dottie. I love that picture. It's funny...when I see his picture I feel like his presence is near, and it seems like yesterday that he was here. I just ordered his nameplate for the urn. Today is a rough day for some reason. Maybe it was because we had people over to watch football and Omar was always under everyone's feet hoping to get a little treat as they ate. I was always having to scoot him away or shut the basement door. I missed that today. I missed hearing his nails make sounds on our stone floor down there.

Just wanted to say thinking of you!!!

Hugs

Thanks Sissycat. It means a lot to me to hear that. When will the tears end?? I'm starting to feel like a real idiot. I should be used to him being gone by now. Right?? Why am I the only one still hurting in my home?

you said: When will the tears end?? I'm starting to feel like a real idiot. I should be used to him being gone by now. Right?? Why am I the only one still hurting in my home?

The tears never end. We just start controlling them better. Then out of the blue, one day, we will be overwhelmed by them again. It is all so normal when we lose one who has been so much a part of our everyday life, especially over years.

I don't think a few months would have you used to him being gone. That short time cannot erase the times over the years he was right there.

As far as the only one hurting....we all hurt in our own ways. I am not over my boy who I lost last year in September...my husband is over it. But if he allows himself to think about it and what happened last year..he would start crying too. He doesn't want to think about it cause he says it hurts too much to think about it and he is able to push it out of his mind.

Maybe women are more emotional and we are raised it is okay to cry. Boys used to be told not to cry. I am sure your husband is in pain in his own way but maybe he is able to push it in the back of his mind as mine does.

There is no time limit on grieving. Sometimes we just grieve to ourselves. Sometimes we post here and write a note to our little sweetheart that we miss so very much. Anything that makes us feel better is the right thing to do.

There is always understanding here. You are never alone here. Sometimes I cry while typing and it is hard to see through tears..but it just seems like here...it is okay to cry. It is okay to still miss my boy.

If it upsets others in our life to see us still grieving...it is probably better to grieve in private for we never want to feel we can't do what helps us feel better. This kind of loss one can't just get over so others feel better. We have to feel better...that takes time to heal. The pain is because we miss our special pal so very much. And we will always miss them because we love them and will never stop loving them. We treasure their photos and the memories we have with them.
In time, that is what will help us smile again. Knowing they are not suffering anymore helps accept the absence.

It is okay to cry. It is okay to miss Omar.

I wish you peace and healing and send you hugs to help your pain. I know that pain. We all do. We live with it everyday also.

Omar is a beautiful boy!
I ache for you and I ache for all of us. Loss is so.....painful. and draining. I am so grateful that I found this site and the people here who fully understand grief. I feel your pain. I ache your ache. I wish I could make it stop for all of us.

Thank you LoveThem. Yes...I'm sitting here with tears streaming down my cheeks...again. It won't be the last I'm sure. I guess when I feel like I must be better, it starts again. I still sit out back in the evenings and watch for birds...none. My brown grass is turning green for the first time in this house. I don't have to vacuum daily to pick up his fur...but man I would love to. I truly appreciate everyone here in my time of need. Thank you.

Hugs,
Marcie

Thank you Mikki. I tend to think Omar was a gorgeous boy too. Something different about him. I wish we didn't have to lose, but I guess it helps us appreciate. It sucks though.

Hugs,
Marcie

Today is a VERY hard day for some reason. I have been trying to keep busy, but it's not getting easier. I had my first "Omar" dream since he's been gone last night. I thought it would give me peace, but instead it was like I lost him all over again. He came to me in my dream...we were outside, but on my bed??? He just rolled all over my bed and I kept telling him he had to go back to heaven. I said this repeatedly until he left me again. I remember rolling all over my bed trying to get his fur on me. Now today I can't get him out of my head, and I can't stop crying. I'm not wearing any makeup and everyone at work thinks I have a cold. I'm beside myself with grief again. Ho hum. Will this ever get easy??? I haven't been out back in about a month now. I would have no idea if something was amiss because I just can't go back there.

Omar baby...I miss you so very much!!! I hope you are enjoying yourself where you are. Mommy loves you dearly.

Sometimes dreams can be very upsetting, especially during the first few months after a loved one has passed away. I'm so sorry you had such a disturbing dream about your sweet Omar.

I hope future dreams bring you the peace you are seeking and not any more disturbing ones. One of things I always do before going to sleep is read something very uplifting that puts my mind and heart in a peaceful place. Just remember you are not alone.........we are here for each other through the good days as well as the tough days.

Sweet dreams Omarmommy with hugs and love from my heart,
Beth

OmarMommy, First, I am so so sorry for your loss. There is nothing I can say to ease the pain and bring that devastation to a level that is something you can take comfort in, having just lost my baby. I have had a few dreams, and I even had a "sign," of a shooting star right after I said aloud "Brandy, if you can hear mommy, let me know you are okay." I nearly froze when that star moved in the sky, and to think I would get peace, I then cried so so much. I don't want her to be afraid and not come to me again. So I have to keep telling myself that. I know how upsetting and painful it is to see them in our dreams, come back to being awake and then they are physically gone again, the reminders, the reality. All I can say is I am where you are, and I know our babies would not want us to suffer. I say this but haven't been able to do it yet. How about together, I try if you will to just come here, share, and try to remember the love and know we all will be together again someday. It's all I can muster to offer, but I do care.

Be well, thinking of you and all those whose babies have passed on,
Carol

Carol,

I want to first say I'm sorry for your loss of your Brandy Noel. Seems like you and I almost had our furbabies about the same time. Omar lived 4/94 to 8/08. I want to also thank you for your kind words when you are also hurting at this time. I really thought by now it would be easier, but it seems to be harder. ?? Not sure why. I can say I'm now more used to the day to day routine being broken...but his presence I'm missing still so dearly. I know some day I will do it again, and bring home another furbaby, but can I really "bond" with another one when I hold Omar so high in my heart?? I know you do for babies, because I do have two children, and I love them both the same. I have had two dogs in my life...the first for 13 yrs, and then Omar for 14, and I did love them both dearly, so I guess that's my answer...I can...when the time is right. I know it's not now. I have been looking at breeds of dogs and I have actually found two I would like some day when I am ready. One is an Aussiepoo and the other is a Schnoodle. I think I would like to get two for once...I guess hoping they can be eachother's friends. I too had a experience like you did with the shooting star. Mine was with a bird though. I was sitting out back shortly after Omar passed and I was crying away looking in the sky. I was looking for a LONG time, and then I asked Omar to please let me know he's okay...and I got a bird that flew by. I then asked him to let me know if he still loved me...and I got about 7 birds fly by. I also cried my eyes out. I have not had any more signs, but it's also too cold to sit outside. I still sense his presence if you will when I'm laying in bed trying to fall asleep. I never could hear him actually walk into my room at night, but I could 'feel' him...and I still 'feel' that. I have never told anyone. I also hear his chain collar make noise sometimes also.

I hope time heals your heart also...and I thank God we have eachother here.

Hugs,
Omarmommy

Beth,

I thank you for your kind words. I too hope my dreams can bring me some peace I'm looking for. I know he's okay, I don't doubt that, but that dream really seemed to tear me up. I lost my mother in law a couple years back, and that tore me up for a LONG time, and I have dreamt of her since, but they never seemed to linger with me like mine of Omar. I think I'm also feeling guilty because for a while I could still 'think' of how his fur felt when I would stroke his head and neck...and how he smelt when I would kiss his face and ears, but lately I can't. That saddens me terribly thinking I'm on my way to forget those things I don't want to forget. There are some things about my mother in law that I can still remember...like her voice and sayings she would say all the time...just like they were yesterday, so I'm not sure how I can forget these things of Omar.

Once again, thank you.

Hugs,
Omarmommy

Omarmommy,

I wanted to tell you that I went back to page one of this thread and read your story, everything that you went through and the love and bond you will always have with your furbaby. I saw the pictures and could see the love and the peace in his eyes. That shines right through the computer screen to me. My deepest sympathies to you, and I can say this from the bottom of my heart, I understand completely. You are correct, our dogs each had about the same amount of time here on Earth. My baby has been gone about 2-1/2 weeks and it feels like 30 seconds ago. I know I am in what is called "the early stages," and I fear going to the next stage, yet I welcome it. The pain I feel each and every moment is so so excruiating. So if that gives you any sense of knowing you aren't alone, please know I understand. I don't know you at all, but I always feel you can tell a lot about a person by how they treat an animal. And to know yours was like a kid to you, well that speaks volumes to your character and kindness as a human being.

If you go to my thread about Brandy Noel you can read what my baby experienced and basically how it happened. You don't have to, but the story is there. I can't bear repeating it or I wouldn't get through my work day. I can relate to everything you said and the emptiness, the missing, the hurt.

I have to tell you, I too want another dog or two. I have even been online looking. I decided to wait til Spring or Summer just to be sure I will still feel that, to try to at least get through some of this devastation on some level, and I just don't want to see my vet that soon after losing Brandy. That may be selfish of me but it is how I feel. I will lose it walking into our vet, seeing the room where my baby passed to Heaven, where it "happened." Your Omar's passing at the vet is very similar to what my Brandy went through. That was a tortuous decision and I still don't know how I did it. But I didn't want her to suffer, to know there could be a worsening and it would not get better. You did the right thing for your baby yet I know the agony of the missing is there. I know it with every fiber of my being.

I am trying to somehow take comfort in the words being expressed in this forum. I read and re-read them, look at other people's experiences and hope to gain some sense of comfort from their journey and what worked for them. I am really trying. I know Brandy wouldn't want me to grieve this way, but I can't help it. It hurts so much to look around and not SEE her. So I say all this because I am walking that path with you. Perhaps finding your thread here and feeling a connection in some way means our furkids have met in Heaven. Your baby looks like the kind of dog that would make friends easily and be very loved by all those around him, both on Earth and in Heaven.

Blessings of comfort to you, write if you ever need an ear. I am sorry for what you are going through,

Carol

I know it is hard..very hard to grieve. I lost my last boy in Sept of 07 and came here. I cried and cried until the crying seemed more depressing than not crying. It didn't help me after a while. I could not help myself all by myself and so after suffering through the Holidays with the pain..I adopted a shelter cat the day after Christmas 07. He was the distraction I needed to keep me from constantly thinking about missing my boy. I could not do it alone. I would have gotten one sooner but my husband said he needed time so I waited but then in December....I said I had to start looking to find a connection...at least that would keep me busy...it took visits to various places and a couple of weeks but when I found my new boy...looking into his eyes reminded me so very much of my Little Guy and I knew I wanted to take him home. That was what helped me bear an empty home...no little furbaby racing around and making me laugh. My new boy makes me laugh.

you said: I know some day I will do it again, and bring home another furbaby, but can I really "bond" with another one when I hold Omar so high in my heart?? I know you do for babies, because I do have two children, and I love them both the same. I have had two dogs in my life...the first for 13 yrs, and then Omar for 14, and I did love them both dearly, so I guess that's my answer...I can...when the time is right. I know it's not now. I have been looking at breeds of dogs and I have actually found two I would like some day when I am ready. One is an Aussiepoo and the other is a Schnoodle. I think I would like to get two for once...I guess hoping they can be each other's friends.

You seem to be open to the same idea. As far as being ready...I decided I was ready when I asked myself...since my crying was not making me feel better...what would make me feel better and my answer was....another one to hug and hold....I missed doing that so very much. Feeling the love and appreciation from one who needed a home helped me also.

I wish you peace and healing. It does take time and some, like me, at times...just need more help than just trying to deal with it alone.

Hugs and peace..

Judy

Dear Sweet Loving Marcie, I want to share with you what I did with Casey's Mom on November the third. It was magically healing to me honest and for true. So, please grab a cool refreshing beverage before continuing because this is going to be a little long. From the very beginning of my nightmare starting 10/16/2007, I've shared bunches and bunches with my friend Debbie. Oh, she is so wise! I'm going to copy and paste three emails between Debbie and me that just took place only two days. In fact, if you'd like to see them and don't mind giving me your email address via a Private Message, I'll forward them to you so you can read for yourself and know all I'm going to say is so including the date of our email exchange to each other. I'll just post the parts of the emails which have to do with my loss and Debbie's newest fur baby beginning right now ...


"Hi Dottie!

That was so cute! I liked it when the chick was sliding down the dog and all lined up down his back. I noticed the cat pawed at something when the chicks were around and thought it was a chick, but it was a toy mouse! Pretty dog and cat too, don't you think?

Thanks for sharing.

I hope you're feeling better. Swing by CBS sometime!

Love,
Debbie"


*Note: Marcie, I had sent Debbie a really darling video of a precious Pit Bull doggie, adorable mixed Siamese kitty and half a dozen tiny baby chicks who had imprinted so believed the doggie and kitty were their mom and dad. Oh, I'll put the link here for you so you can enjoy too, Dear. It's one minute and 32 seconds and all an amazing "Moment of Ahhh!" Turn up volume and click here. Talk about imprinting gone awry. Awww! I hope that made you smile. Also CBS means Catbird Seat and is a lovely message board. And now here's my response email to Debbie's email above beginning now ...


"Hi Debbie,

I'm so glad you got a kick out of that video. Awww! So awesome, sweet and dear. If only all (humans) could get along like that, what a great place the world would be. You betcha.

Errr ... Since you asked, I'll tell you just a little but this ain't no "pity party" cuz you know how much I hate that. It's more of a Joe Friday on the old Dragnet TV series: "Just the facts, Ma'am." Heh. Sooo ...

I miss Alex so gosh awfully terribly fierce. My Friend, I haven't been able to eat or sleep but at least I keep busy and do put on my happy face, voice and appearance. I find that when I comfort others so grief stricken and devastated it helps me a whole bunch, too.

I write to Alex practically every day and sometimes twice a day giving him pictures and images he loved so much when he was alive. Oh, and the videos we watched together, too. Really very beautiful indeed! I've only made about 3 sad posts with images and songs (videos) to speak what I want so much to say but that's in the "Pet Loss Support" area of the board. In the Tribute area, I only give Alex the most wonderful, beautiful, songs, videos, pictures, images, poems and the like. I owe that to him, Debbie. I sure do.

And, I talk with him lots and lots, too. Mostly, I reassure him that "Mamma's doing just fine so don't you worry a bit, Sweet Baby Boy Alex." Oh, I do remember how upset and worried he would get whenever I was sad or very sick. He'd try to cheer me up in ways I'd love to share with you. Sooooo Sweet! Awww! But, there was always the, "Mama! Mama! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" He always used that phrase to express sympathy and, on occasion remorse. After repeating that a few times and even during saying it, Alex would cry ...

Debbie, I know wherever he is that he sees and hears me. So, I try my da*nedest to keep reassuring him that I'm fine and also keep telling him how very, very much I love him.

Well, that's enough for now. How's your new kitty doing? With your other fur babies yet? Getting along together or what? Spill it woman. Hehehe!

Hugs and Love You Oodles and Boodles,
Dottie

PS. I do visit The Catbird Seat practically every day to read and enjoy. Such a pleasure and thank you so much, Hon! More Hugs!!!"


Marcie, now here's Debbie's most sincere, heartfelt, loving, compassionate and oh so wise response to me in email beginning now ...


"Hi Dottie *tight hugs*

I wish I could take away your pain. It is something that is necessary to heal a badly injured heart and soul and everyone faces it at sometime in their lives.

I miss my Mother, but it is a part of life.

If I had a child like your Alex, it would be extremely difficult to get through, and you'd go through the "only if" scenarios over and over again.

My kitties are like my children and I still grieve for each and every one of them that I've lost over the years. They are precious jewels that are so fragile and are only with us as long as a shooting star. We are lucky God gave us these little gifts of friendships/companionships to help us travel down life's highway.

It's ok to be sad and cry and miss Alex. It is good you are finding comfort in comforting others because we all need it at one time or another. Soon those that have accepted the loss, which is so damn irrefutable, and move on. We can't escape our memories, so we must pick at them like a scab until it no longer hurts as much.

I hope after a while you will find a peaceful acceptance and know we WILL see our beloved pets when it is our turn to cross that boundary of mysteries.

Take care,
Debbie"


Sweet Marcie, I hope and pray that my sharing Debbie's message to me has at least half the comforting and warm feelings for you regarding your Omar fur kid as it does for me and my Alex baby boy. And, Debbie explains all things great and small so very, very beautifully. It is truly The Circle of Life!

Tons of Hugs, Love, Peace and Many Angels to You and Fur Child Omar!!!

Always,
Dottie xoxoxox