Wow! What more can I say? I do echo all that Jan has said, Beth. I pray you continue to do so well. Bless You, Dear One!

Many Comforting Hugs, Love and Peace!!!

Always,
Dottie xoxoxox

Zita's Mom,

I love what you said about interconnectedness. For that moment, reading that, my heart smiled. And that is something that has not happened since 10/11/08.

Jan, Dottie, and all friends,

It is so good to hear your compassionate and wise "voices." Every morning, I go to visit Yogi's grave, then I check to see what wisdom and comfort you have so generously offered. Thank you so much.

Last night we went out with friends who are passionate dog lovers (they own about seven or eight dogs between the two of them-- I've lost count!) And they were encouraging us to start thinking about getting a puppy. I feel so torn and confused about that. Yogi was our only child and part of me worries that a new dog means that we're being disloyal or somehow less devoted to her memory. Like a widower who remarries too quickly? But I also find that I've started peeping at breeder and rescue websites and just the sight of the puppies gives me such a sweet moment of happiness. I know that my sweetheart is unreplaceable--beyond a one of a kind--what does it mean to get a new pup?

I think I'm starting to understand why so many fur families have more than one doggie or kitty at once.

We went out yesterday and bought a flower to plant on Yogi's grave-- it's called a necklace plant--sophora tomentosa-- and it produces lovely sprigs of yellow buds that attract butterflies. The girl would love that. But what really got me about this plant? Its new leaves have an incredible velvety quality that reminds me of the feel of Yogi's ears.

With love,
Diana

Diana,

My deepest sympathies to you. I know what you are feeling, as this is so raw and new for me, and I am lost. I, too, have felt that I need to have a dog in my life as much as a dog in need needs me/us. I even looked at a breeder and at rescue and have some feelers out, as I am active in the dog world. I dont want to feel guilty or that I am somehow being disloyal and I have decided to wait til Spring at least for me to be sure I want to do this. But I know the feeling you are experiencing when you think about a new pup, and the joy yet the missing your baby. I am curious to see what others say as well.

Thanks for listening, blessings,
Carol

Hi Diana,

Each one of us is different in recognizing when the time is right to bring a new furlove into our home and heart. For me, it was important to work through the roughest part of the grieving process first. My thoughts were still scattered for some time after Goliath passed away. I wasn't in any kind of emotional shape to make any kind of major change or decision since I had not even begun to recover from the traumatic effect Goliath's death left me with. I wanted to be sure that I wasn't bringing a new puppy into my heart for my own selfish reasons. A new puppy deserved my full attention and love.

I was sooooooooo glad I waited. Goliath passed away on Novemeber 6th, 2007 and we adopted Browser on April 26th, 2008. During the 6 months that fell inbetween, I was able to come to terms with Goliath's death and also work on my own spirituality. Once I knew I was thinking clearly and logically again, I realized Goliath would not see bringing a new puppy in as a betrayal. Goliath always wanted me to be happy and Lord knows I had plenty of love left in my heart to share with another. No doubt Goliath is very proud of his baby brother, Browser.

Whatever decision you make, be sure to think it through very carefully before you decide. Bringing a new puppy into your heart and home is an enormous responsibility. Make sure you have lots of energy too because they certainly do keep a person running all the time. When they're awake it helps to use the eyeballs you have in the back of your head. You're going to need them.

Take care Diana.

Hugs,
Beth

Diana-

I got a new dog three weeks after I lost my baby Bentley. It seemed as if every time i talked to someone in my family about how sad I was they said to get a new dog. I wasn't sure but I soon found myself looking in the paper and browsing on our local shelter's website. I decided to get a dog from a shelter because I reasoned that if I couldn't save my dog's life at least I could save another's life. And my husband and I have so much love to give we could redirect our grief and love a dog who needs a home.

I wish now I hadn't. It was too soon.
I found myself devastated when I heard the new dogs nails pitter patter on the wood floors like Bentley's would. I would see her run by in a flash of black and catch my breath. is that bentley? Then the resentment set in. Bentley never peed in the house. this one doesn't seem to do anything but. She chews, she nips at my one year old- Bentley would always run over to her with licks, this one growls and chases the cat- Bentley would cuddle and lovingly receive tongue baths. I know I shouldn't think this way, I know its not fair to the new dog but I can't help it. I take her on walks and I think i don't want to walk you I want to walk Bentley. I constantly tell myself to give her a chance but I just think it was too soon. the excitement of thinking about a new dog momentarily replaced the grief and that felt so nice but I am still too deep in the grieving process. Maybe if I waited longer like Goliath six months or so I could have healed more.

It is nice to have pets in the house to love and I don't mean to discourage you in any way. i just want to share my experience with you because I too had my dog leave me suddenly. Just make sure you are open and good luck to you.

Dear Beth and Bentley's Mom,

Ah, both your thoughts are so so helpful and appreciated-- thank you so much for weighing in honestly. My sweet Yogi's only been gone for a week-- it's surprising to me how all at once so many friends are suggesting we get a new dog. I guess our friends just hate to see us in pain and want to find the "antidote" right away. I feel very encouraged and strengthened by your words that it's okay to wait. (Funny -- it all sort of reminds me of my father who tried to rush me into marrying my first boyfriend-- yikes! Am I ever glad I waited for the right one to come along...;-))

Big hugs and gratitude,
Diana

Yes, "the right one" I think that's the key. I adopted Ziggy right after Christmas and Zita had gone missing October 20th. She didn't replace Zita, not in any way shape or form, but she was definitely the "right one". So I think it's mostly about paying attention to yourself. I also adopted a dog who looked a lot like my first dog - he has been extremely challenging and is nothing at all like my first dog. You can never replace the ones who are gone, so it's a matter of finding the one that is the right match for *you*. Your pet is the one family member you *are* allowed to choose. With Ziggy, I just knew. She was the "one".

take care

Jan.

Diana,

I too have looked at puppies. But I know I will not be getting another until at least summertime. For me, I'm more concerned about Jax, Penny's bruder. They have NEVER been apart. In fact, we got Jax after we had Pen for 6 months, and he was actually much too young already (I realized only recently he was less than 4 weeks old when we brought him home) so she has always been more like his momma. He's been doing alright over the past two weeks, but I was worried about him yesterday -- it was the first day he was crated without her for my full work day. My mother came to visit after Penny passed, so for the last week or two she was there with him all day. He definitely was acting much differently when I got home.

My husband also felt guilty for looking up breeders. For me, I think that looking or just thinking about pups is simply our expression of hope. All our pets were one of a kind...and part of the grief, for me anyway, was that there will never be a more spunky, beautiful, and perfect dog besides the two I have (had) and looking at sweet little puppy faces makes me think back to the day we picked her out. It gives me a sense of comfort to imagine that one day we will add another to our happy pack again, and that dog will mean the world to us, and be sooo special to us in their own way. However, I've decided to really wait. Of course part of it is that I want to do it when my husband is home so there is a chance for equal bonding (he got Penny while we were apart for 6 mo while he was stationed elsewhere, and then we got Jax when he was gone for 3 mo...so there was obviously a difference in how each of them bonded to us). But I also decided that nothing will fill Penny's void. I agree w/ 4Bently. I think I would start to resent the dog cuz I would just want Penny. So when, and only when, I am consistently feeling at peace with her passing will I even start to actually think about another pooch. I think that's just best for me personally. I also figure adding another dog will mean that things will not be "the same" just because I have two again. It will be a change, alot of work, and starting over to an extent. When I'm ready for that new chapter, then I will know it's time.

However, I know when my mother-in-law lost her chihuahua very tragically, she got a dog nearly the next week, and for her that was the right thing. I suppose it's a personal choice. Hopefully you and your husband can make the right decision for you and your family. Perhaps set a timeframe (such as I'm just going to wait until summer...at least). Maybe for you it will be in a month you will think about it, but setting a timeframe may take away some of the burden of having to think about it right now.

Thinking and praying for you and little Yogi,
~Shannon

Dear Jan and Shannon,

Ah, this is very good, very smart-- thank you both so much. Yes-- I think you must be right--there's no one-size-fits-all sort of approach for this kind of thing (though sometimes I wish there were...) It's nice just to feel like it's okay to try and follow one's own heart instead of trying to figure out some sort of cosmic rule book. Thank you, Shannon, for unpacking the issue so thoughtfully-- there are so many possibilities, it feels very heartening to me and helps me feel less afraid of making a "mistake."

I had a beautiful dream about Yogi last night-- we were playing, she was dancing around, and suddenly the yard beside our house was filled with all sorts of dogs, playing and romping. It made me so happy, it felt like a gift from her. It helped me so and I feel like I understand even more clearly now how some of my friends here have told me that sometimes the "dream" world can feel more real and immediate than the "real" one. Maybe they really are messages?

***
Diana

Dianaa,

I believe that they are messages. We have had a few since Woody passed and I believe that they are from him tyring to tell us that he is okay. There are those that deny the possibility that those messages are really contacts from our pets but when you think about them for a while (and I have, in my case) they have to be more than a coincidence. I have had similar experiences when my dad died and my sister had such an experience when our mom died. Why shouldn't such an experience involving our lost pets be possible, too? Yogi wants you to know that she is okay and that you shouldn't worry.

Best wishes,

Steve

Hi Diana,

I'll have to look up the necklace plant. It sounds beautiful. I love the color yellow as well as watching how graceful butterflies move. Do you know if this plant will come back after a hard winter like we have here in Michigan? When you described how velvety the leaves are, I also thought of how soft my Goliath's ears were and how much I loved stroking them and he loved it too.

This last Spring we planted a dogwood tree as a memorial for Goliath. Forget-me-nots surround his tree for a good ten feet. I also took a piece of slate and made a plaque. On the plaque I wrote "Goliath...I will love you til the after forever" with outdoor acrylic paints and added pawprints with my stencils. His tree flourished and grew all summer long and the forget-me-nots never did stop blooming. I spend alot of time there keeping it free from weeds, talking with Goliath, and nourishing the ground with egg shells, coffee grounds, and peelings from vegetables.

I know your sweet Yogi sees and loves your gesture of love each time she looks down and sees you and the beautiful necklace plant at her gravesite. Yogi will always be with you Diana.

Hugs of love,
Beth

If you look in the Shooting Star thread you will see that Bubba had a very similar dream from his pooch. I have had dreams like this about other passed pets (not Zita or Ziggy though for some reason) and I do believe it is their way of telling us they are happy and they want us to know this.

What a beautiful gift from Yogi.

Jan.

Dear Jan and Beth,

Thank you both-- it's so good to "see" your kind voices. Jan-- thank you for letting me know about Bubba's dream and the others. I had another dream last night-- I was walking Yogi and we had paused at the top of a very steep hill and I was filled with a feeling of the most extraordinary love for her, it filled me and I can still feel it this morning. In my dream, I let her off her leash to prance around and then I woke up!

Beth-- I looked up the Necklace pod last night but it looks like it's a fair weather friend-- zones 9 -11-- you'll just have to come to Florida to see them! But your Dogwood and Forget-me-nots sound amazingly beautiful. It seems as if plants are another piece of this mystery-- as if the trees and flowers can help provide another link between us and our babies somehow. I find it soothing to be outdoors, around the green things.

I go to Yogi's grave every day to put down seashells and there's a big weathered conch shell at the head. I like to touch it while I talk to her-- it reminds me of her nobby little head.

With love,
Diana

I just came across this lovely quote and wanted to share it:

"Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened."

~Anatole France~

***
Diana

I love that quote....it is so true!

~Shannon

Dear Friends,

I've been away from the internet for a while and I feel remiss. It's been two weeks since we lost our sweet little Yogi and I can sense that the healing process is finally starting to begin. I still have many periods of deep grief that surge up-- sometimes for hours and hours-- but I can also perceive the beginnings of hope and renewal and gratitude for all that my darling girl brought us.

We've also had some big news that I've been really debating over whether it's appropriate to share in this forum or not. The thing is that my husband and I decided we'd like to adopt a baby earlier this year-- we finished the paperwork this spring and...after months and months of nail-biting suspense, we learned just ten days after Yogi's death that we're going to be brand new parents very soon!

This will be our first "human-child" and I hope this doesn't sound too mystical or odd, but I feel haunted by the sense that somehow Yogi has sent this baby to us, or in some fashion, cleared the way. It doesn't diminish the pain of Yogi's passing, but it has given us new moments of joy and wonder at the mysteries of it all.

And it's also strange because obviously none of us has ever met, but I've come to feel such gratitude, friendship, and even love for the wise voices I've encountered in this place. Please forgive me if this isn't the appropriate forum, but I wanted to express my very deep thanks to everyone who has shared a bit of wisdom on how to survive this stunning loss.

(And now if anyone has any wisdom on how to survive a newborn -- please send me a private message!)
Love,
Diana

I am overjoyed at the news of your impending parenthood! Some people have to wait years for all the paperwork to go through. This baby is truly a blessing sent from Heaven above to bring you and your husband years of happiness and joy. Our dear Lord does work in very mysterious ways and I think the timing was perfect. I'm sure Yogi is smiling just as much as you are right now.

LS isn't about just bringing sad news Diana. Each of us brings our grief and sadness as well as our hopes and share our dreams. You've just had a dream come true in finding a little baby to have to hold that will be your very own. You won't be biting your nails anymore because you aren't going to have time!

Much love and many hugs from my heart to yours,
Beth

Hi, Diana, congratulations to you and your husband on your upcoming "human" baby parenthood. It is probably wise you are not going to adopt another furchild right away - - particularly a puppy - - because you would truly be overwhelmed with two "babies" to take care of at the same time - - one needing immediate potty and other appropriate training - - and one needing "different" immediate needs. You need to give yourselves time to catch your breath. And I wouldn't be the least bit surprised that your precious Yogi helped to pave the way for this spectacular event. May you and your husband and your precious "human" baby know blessings and peace and love through all the seasons of life now ahead of you. By the way, do you have a name for your baby yet?

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Dearest Beth and Moon Beam,

Many thanks for your sweet thoughts and kind wishes--it's great to be able to share good news with this wonderful community. Yes, we've really been thrown into a quandary about getting a new furbaby with the news about a new non-furbaby! We had thought we'd visit the idea of a new doggy in a month or two, now I'm not sure if we can manage both sorts of additions within such a short period of each other-- but I miss having a dog sooo much. Perhaps an older rescue friend?-- is that just wildly unrealistic?

Oh, and it's so much fun to think about names-- animal and human! We don't yet know if our human baby will a boy or girl so right now we need both sorts of names -- any suggestions???

Big hugs and gratitude,
Diana