I've been thinking about Falkor's death. It was expected for quite some time. The vet's proclaimed him a miracle when he turned 9. He lived 11 years and 8 months, truly defying the odds. Luba, on the other hand, died very suddenly right after she turned nine. The sudden death kept me in an acute stage of grief for much longer.

With Falkor, I feel an ongoing chronic ache, like a "sad poison" has gone into me. With Luba it was like a knife having been stabbed quickly in and out of my body. Somehow, I think the chronic ache will be with me longer with Falkor's death. I've been able to return to "normal life" sooner than with Luba's death. It's just something I feel.

Nevertheless, today went to a pro football (soccer) game, got pelted by the rain, had a rabid fan whack us in the head with his flag accidentally, then apologize profusely, we became almost deaf from the yelling that was going on around us, but, for the first time in a long time - I had fun. I'm sure the big fella would have wagged his tail if he'd seen me.

I'm sure he WAS wagging his tail. Our pets would not want us to set around and get depressed. It is ok to have fun. It takes a while to see and understand that.

Hugs to you!!!!!!!!!!!! Glad you had some fun.

Hi, Steph, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. The experience and grief of losing our furkids is different with each one because our relationship with them is unique only with them. You had Falkor longer than Luba, but that does not diminish the grief you experienced when you lost her. You can believe that both Falkor and Luba were wagging their tails and doing high five paws at the Bridge and doing the happy doggy jigg to see you being able to have some fun beyond the intense grief you have struggled through. Falkor and Luba are always with you, Steph. Their sweet living Spirits have not left you but are indeliby etched in your heart and your memories, so wherever you go and whatever you do for the rest of your life they are with you also - - just in a temporary different dimension. Steph, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Please know you continue to be in my thoughts and prayers, and please keep in touch with us to let us know how life is treating you.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

I found that Luba actually threw my headfirst into depression, and I was unable to cope. I think the difference with Falkor is that I could see that he was really suffering and sick, whereas Luba looked healthy, so it completely shook me. Falkor's loss is more of a persistent pain in the background, like a toothache. Luba - was like a gash. If that makes any sense...

Hi, steph, yes, this makes sense. We can be traumatized by the loss of a beloved furchild and still not really completely comprehend the depth of the loss or the affect it has had on us until another loss or trauma is experienced. And then instead of grieving one loss we end up grieving multiple losses. Steph, you have come a long way in your grief journey since Falkor joined Luba at the Bridge, and I pray that you are being able to begin to enjoy the good memories you have of each of them. We never "get over" the loss of our furkids, but we can find peace and a way to honor the gift of their time with us and their sweet living Spirits that continue to be a part of us by living our lives in a way that will make them happy - - and in so doing we can also find happiness again. And it sounds like both Falkor and Luba have every reason to be very proud of you. And we're here for you, steph, whenever you need us.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

That's so GREAT Steph.. Wishing you many more fun times ahead!....Ann

Nevertheless, today went to a pro football (soccer) game, got pelted by the rain, had a rabid fan whack us in the head with his flag accidentally, then apologize profusely, we became almost deaf from the yelling that was going on around us, but, for the first time in a long time - I had fun. I'm sure the big fella would have wagged his tail if he'd seen me.



Oh, Falkor saw you and so did Luba. They are Angels now..and together..and our Angels are ALWAYS watching us. I am sure they were both wagging their tails...probably hitting each other..with so much exuberance. It means a lot to them that you had fun. That's what their unconditional love is all about...seeing the one they love....smile again. They are not suffering anymore and they don't want you to either.

Just picture them on a big cloud sitting next to each other..and..all 4 eyes are on you and that's the way it will always be. They never left you because they are a part of your heart and nothing and no one can ever take that away from you.

I'm glad to hear about the soccer game and your day there....it is always baby steps that move toward a healing we can live with. You sound as though you have taken some that helped you.

I wish you more peace and healing and don't ever forget...you have two beautiful Angels watching you 24/7...and loving to see you smile again.