Tonight hit me like a ton of bricks.... It'll be 4 weeks tomorrow that my little man is gone, and it took me this long to clean up the stupid mess I left lying around since then. I had this little blanket which I laid him on, of course on top of some hefty bags, because he couldn't hold his own pee, and I just left it there since then. I couldn't bring myself to touch it, because it kind of made me feel like a part of him was still there, but an empty space, of course.

Well, needless to say, this broke my heart, and although I have been doing better (or so I thought) I just burst into tears all over again. He's really gone, ..... really gone. God, why does this hurt so much?? I know that it takes time to get over our losses, but the hurt just sucks.....

Anyway, I guess you guys all are going through, or have went through my same feelings.

Just wanted to vent, to some friends that understand. Thanks to you all who read this and are there for me. Much love to all.

Geese

Hey Geese,
I've been hit by a ton of bricks, a couple of times, since I lost my little fur baby, Zoe. One day, I'll think I'm making progress and go on about my day....then something will trigger my pain .... a dog food commercial, or see someone outside walking their dog, or run across something Zoe had chewed on or scratched. You're right ...the hurt sucks.
I miss Zoe terribly. To grasp and accept she's gone forever, is so hard.
Hang in there with me,
Cyber hug to you,
Deanna

Hi Deanna,

Sorry about your loss and your sad feelings. Yes, stupid little things remind us of them. I have to wear scrubs to work, and I've washed them all a few times since, but sometimes I still find a hair of his on them and it makes me want to cry.

How did you lose him? Mine was very unexpected, therefore, more painfull.

Please respond.....

Loving thoughts to you also.....

Geese

Oh Geese,

I still cannot move the blue jeans where my Sissycat was laying the morning of the accident which took her to a better place. I got a baggy and picked off the fur I could. I just cannot move them. Maybe someday. It has been 10 weeks since my loss. I wish you more healing and the same for all of us here.

Hugs to you!!!!!!!

Oh, that's so sweet, I know the feeling.

Much love to you, and I hope you're on your way to healing. I guess we cannot hold on to the physical things forever, but for the moment, if it helps, it's OK.

I know everyone here is good people with hearts of gold bigger than the world could imagine.


Thanks for your thoughts, much love to you and your baby's memories...

Love Geese

Please, allow me to say that you are right not been the only one going thru hard times we all are and understand exacly your pain, suffering and the good memories you have. I too when my Buster died it felt like the sky just felt on my head and was not able not even to breath, eat, drink nor sleep and with nightmares for weeks about when he died in my arms, it is a hopeless pain we most fight against. You know, when I feel sad 'cause I miss him so much [very often] I try to remember all the good times we had together thru the years and ask God to send him in dreams to me and to help him out not to miss me the same way I miss him becouse if he is I know he will not be happy up above. You know it hurts when we put away all his hers toys and the blanquets they just lay down while we watched TV all of that all of it it is not in site any more it was killing us, I remember now clearly the first day I went to work and on my way back from it wanted to drive fast to come home sooner and that I said to my self what is the rush for? got home I was scare to open the door and see he was not there to say hello am glad you are home I missed you and went to living room and saw all his things exactly the way he lefted it and I broke into peaces and am not going to denied it but I felt sorry for my self and cry and cry for hours wanting to have someone near me to tell me it's ok it will be ok and founded here thanks to these good people that we talk too almost every day. Again, am so sorry you are going thru this pain a pain I will nor even want to see my biggest enemy with it [I don't have one] but you know what I am saying, don't you? May God Bless you and your Sweet Little Man up above in Heaven with all the rest of the other Angels, if you need me I will be here soon, until later, Son Buster and Jorge

Been there and done that so I can sympathize a lot with your feelings. Shakespeare knew what he was talking about when he wrote "Parting is such sweet sorrow.". It is a rollercoaster ride of emotions that ebbs and flows for weeks, months, or longer when we lose a loved one. It really does get better with time but never quickly enough.

Hugs,
Ken Albin

Yeah, I know what you mean. I think it was the same day we got back from the vet that we gathered up all Arthurs "stuff". We put them in a bag and I went thru it later. Dave did not want any part of it. We decide to give away his 2 new scratch posts that he hated.(he loved the one falling apart). But it never happened. They are down my cellar along with his tent, 2 carry cases, dinner bowls. I cannot part with anything!. Why save? Well, just can't let go. I made a little memorial shelf in my room with his baby blanket and ball on it, photos, some ashes in a memory box with a photo album. So Geese, it's a slap in the face to see all that "stuff". Just put it out of site and when your ready, you'll find something to do with them. Hey you may get a furry friend someday. I took my neice's cat Piper, cuz she just didn't want her anymore. (Sad, but true) I gave her Arthur's window shelf, and it aches me to see it, but she's enjoying it now. I just wish she'd used the scratch post instead of my couch!...I still cry even today. Either way you look at it, having stuff around or cleaning it up and seeing an empty space, it's hard, very, very hard. Hugs to you. Ann

oliver's makeshift bed (a blanket, towel and heating pad) is sitting rolled up in my closet. i don't know why, i suppose it represents our goodbye, i may never undo it. i did the laundry about 2 weeks after he was gone and i wish i would have picked at and kept the hair i knew was his. i have read countless threads where people keep all the little things and wish i would have seen ahead enough to keep just one puff of the times i brushed him.

4 weeks into it is still very new. it takes a few months to even accept the new life you have. i am 13 or so weeks into mine and had a terrible time just last weekend, and still have a very long way to go. i remember all too well the hurt only a month in, there are many bumps along the way. it will get better, if only because those bad times spread themselves out more and more.

Hi, geese, there will be different stages that you go through in this horrible grief journey. Just when you think you've gotten "beyond" the sadness and tears there will be moments when something will "bring home" your loss, and you'll find yourself feeling like an emotional wet noodle. Oliver's mama said it so well - - the bad times do spread themselves out more and more. It has been 40 plus years since I lost my first little kitty -- William Ferocious (named for his very brave spirit) - - and I can still feel a tear on my cheek sometimes. It hurts so much because we love them so much and because they love us unconditionally. I very seldom dream but last night I had the most vivid dream of my kitty Eli, and I have never dreamed about my furkids before. In the dream I was happy, but today it's been one with a lump in my throat - - December 11 will be our 2-year anniversary when he went home to the angels. Some days will be easeir than others, and knowing that you are among friends here also helps.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam