Oh, Deanna

That last picture of Zoe is so adorable. And....your baby has that "listening" pose. So you know every word you set down here is heard by a very very pretty Angel who is a part of you and will be forever.

Hugs to you and Zoe

Awwww......Lovethem ~Thank you
~ As I talk and write to her, I do hope she can hear and see every word. It's coming straight from my heart.
Good to hear from you, hope things are going ok for you. I am taking it one day at a time to heal from losing my adorable angel, Zoe.
You take care, I can't thank you enough for your kind words.
Cyber Hug
Deanna

Hi Deanna,

Wow those pictures are cute! Her coat is all shimmery and silver. She looks like one of my best friend's dogs, whom I personally adore. I just wanted to say you shouldn't feel like a broken record. If you want to say things every day over and over, you should. No one here minds, I know that I have left notes for Oliver and others here have used their threads to say a few quick words to their babies too, almost like a journal. We have to deal enough with censoring it with others, this place is a haven from that so literally post until your heart's content.

Oliver's Mama,
Thanks so much for your kind words. Yes, I kept Zoe pretty clean ....I'd let her run and play and dig in the backyard and she'd get so dirty sometimes, however, she knew, mama would clean her up and make her silky and shiny again. I loved her so much...clean or dirty. (ha)
Again, thanks. Your support, as well as, many others, on this website has been Godsend.
With much appreciation,
Deanna

Hi Zoe
You've been on my mind heavily the past couple of days. I received your doggie license renewal notice in the mail and it upset me terribly. I returned it along with a letter explaining to the Metro Animal Services department that I had lost you in a tragic accident, and that you were waiting for me at the Heavenly Gates and that you didn't need a license anymore, due to the fact that God doesn't require them. haha
I miss you sweetheart.
Love you more than life right now.....
Mama

Hi, Deanna

Those little "surprises" in the mail are something we don't think about and don't need to see....it is more heartbreak
when they show up.

But I did like your answer....someone at that office must have felt badly reading it. But to them it is just business.

When I look at Zoe, and my Little Guy and his siblings, and so many beautiful babies here....ooh do I wish I could wave a magic wand and say....."we want them back..healthy, happy, for many more years...and we want them back NOW."
And everyone here was reunited with their special ones.

How's that for a fantasy?

When I lost Little Guy's sister in 2006...when my husband stopped at the vets to buy some Laxatone for my Little Guy..the last baby left...the sheet the vet would print up had his sister's name on it so one day I called and asked them to please change that as she was deceased and it hurt to see her name printed on a current receipt...just another reminder that she is gone.
They did that for me but yeah...when you see their name unexpectedly...it's like..why doesn't everyone know my baby is gone...I know..why don't they?

Hugs, Deanna

Your answer to their unfeeling computer was just perfect.

Judy

Judy,
Hi Dear ~
As always, it is so good to hear from you.
Yes, that little surprise I received in the mail... it just about dropped me to my knees, right in the middle of my yard when I opened and began reading it about her license renewal. They were kind of mean stating I was deliquent and they were going to charge me additional fees, etc. In addition, to opening my wound of losing Zoe, it really upset me that the letter was worded so mean. Zoe's license renewal was always handled at her vet's office, so I hadn't received anything like this before. Although, my husband mentioned there was another surprise that came from the vet's office about her renewal shots. This was without my knowing....he took it upon himself to call the vet's office to inform them of Zoe's accident and that they could discard her records.... (sigh...). When I received the notice, it upset me so bad ...I came in and just threw it garbage. Although, I begin to think about it long and hard, so I decided to get it back out of the garbage to read it fully (I wasn't able to do so, when I first opened it). Anyway....at the bottom of the notice, it had a place or a box that you could just "check" stating you no longer own the dog. I could not bring myself to "just check a box" to let them know she was no longer with me. Hello people? Zoe's gone! How dare you send this to me! That's when I came up with the idea of writing a letter to let them know this precious furry soul no longer needed the license, that God didn't require them. My husband loved it ....he said be sure and mail that ...I told him I had planned on it....and I did. (Those people are probably going to think I'm physco, but I don't care). I'm trying to letting the world know she's gone and that she's missed terribly.

Love the fantasy .....I would love to have that magic wand to bring our angels home NOW.
I would have given anything to need to pay for the license renewal!
Hugs back to you and your Little Guy
Deanna

Deanna,

You said:
I would have given anything to need to pay for the license renewal!



My answer is:

AMEN!!!!!!!!


Judy

Hey Sweetheart,
This morning was a tough one. It was one of my "firsts" without you. I woke up at about 2:30 in the morning thinking about it and couldn't go back to sleep. It was Zack's first day back to school and I missed you "helping me" get him up. You know how hard it is to get Zack motivated, however, you were always able to wake him up fairly easy and in a good mood. As sad as I was, I didn't want to mention it to Zack to upset him, but he mentioned it .... so he remembered. "There was something missiing this morning ~ and it was you." You brought such joy in our lives in everything we did and we miss it and you terribly.
It's been a really sad day without you.
I miss and love you so much....
You are forever in my heart,
Mama

Hey Zoe,
Mama's struggling through another morning without you. This time of the morning was our "quality morning time" for just you and I ... (you know before the rest of the gang got up to get ready for school and work).
You are dearly missed.
I'll miss and love you forever,
Love
Mama

The "firsts" can be so hard Deanna. The "seconds" aren't a whole lot easier. It's difficult to find another way of life when the one we knew so well has gone. It's like learning to walk all over again. Each step leads to another and eventualy will take you to a place of renewal in peace and happiness again.

I send you love and sunshine as you contemplate the day ahead of you.

God's peace and blessings,
Beth

Good Evening Beth,
Yes, these "firsts" have been really hard for me. As well as the "seconds".... are so tough too. .. (as you could tell from my comment this morning. I thought to myself "ok" you made it through the first time of getting my son up for school, so I thought last night that this morning would be alil' easier.....wrong. You worded it so well, with it's difficult to find a different way of life, when the one we knew so well is gone.
I am trying so hard of working on that peace and happiness again...but it's a slow process.
You are too sweet,
When I read your reply this morning ...it did make a difference in my day. (A positive difference).
I think the world of you ~
Deanna

I'm glad that what I said to you made a postive difference in your day Deanna. But, you're right when you say it's a slow process to find peace and healing. I think if I combined all the sadness, grief, and pain I had ever experienced before Goliath passed away and mulitplied by 1000, it couldn't even come close to how I felt when Goliath died in my arms that dreadful night. Staying in postive environments and thoughts helped me along the way. It does take time..........LOTS of time. Sometimes I say my favorite prayer. Maybe it will help you too.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to changes the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.

Hugs,
Beth

You've made another good point. My whole 42 years of my life's sadness, grief and pain added together x 1000 could never measure up to what I felt when Zoe died the night of June 12th. Before I laid her her little lifeless body down in a chair before we buried her, I held that baby in my arms for about 10 minutes and cried the hardest I ever had in my life and I did it all night long, and when I woke up the next day, I felt competely numb with disbelief of trying to accept that she was really gone. It happened so fast. We went for a walk about 7:15pm, came home about 8:30, walked to the neighbors house immediately afterwards at 8:40pm, then at about 9:00pm was when she darted after the rabbit and then she was gone. We buried her that evening about 10:30pm. In just a matter of a few hours that night, my life is changed forever. I will never completely recover from losing her. I was guilty of taking her for granted.
With your help, and with everyone else's support on this site, I am doing ok. I have made progress in my grieving.
I want to thank you. I wouldn't be where I'm at today without all of you.

Thanks for recommending .... I am very familar with the Serenity Prayer ~ I say it to myself just about every other day .... it sure helps.

Beth~ Thank you
Deanna

Hey Zo....
I missed you this morning....and you will be missed throughout the day as well.
Miss and Love you sooooo much,
Mama

Hey Sweetheart,
It's those quiet morning hours that sadden me terribly. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you.
Love you more than life right now,
Mama

Hey Zoe ~
You're on my mind and in my heart today. I will carry good memories of you at the same time I am missing you.
I will love you forever and a day.....
Mama

yep ....you've been on my mind all day and I am missing you....what I would give to have you in my arms again.....
i miss you little girl .....
mama

Hi Deanna.............I know what you mean and feel when you say you would give anything to have Zoe in your arms again. It's so hard to learn to live in an unfamiliar way. Something like learning to walk all over again. Baby step after baby step...........then a little big bigger step.

Sometimes I miss Goliath so much it hurts. When I take Browser to school, the vivid memories of school times with Goliath surface and it about kills me. That old feeling of getting hit in the gut comes on and I know the tears are about to spill. School days with Goliath were always the highlight of our week along with the training and playing inbetween.

The missing never ends Deanna and I too would give anything to hold Goliath in my arms again. One day you will hold Zoe again forever, just as I will hold Goliath. They're both in God's loving hands now and if I can't have Goliath in my arms, I do find some peace knowing he is in the Lord's caring hands.

Be well and happy Deanna. I think of you often and wonder how you are doing. Take care of yourself and please keep in touch.

Hugs my friend,
Beth

Deanna,

I just found this group last week. I wanted to say how sorry I am about you losing your girl. I had two cats that were brother that were both hit by cars. George Walker was a kitten and Danny was 3 1/2 year old. At least you got to be with her at the end. I had taken Danny to the get and he had to stay there they were checking for how much damnage was done. I alwasy bring another cat when something bad happens. I didn't take Anne and the next morning the phone rung and I knew it wa the vet calling to tell me Danny had died.

How I wish I brought him home over night so I could be with him. 3 years later Dylan w as brought int omylife. I lost him April 26, 2008 to chronic renal failure with hypertention.

My prayers are with as you deal with losing Zoe.

God bless,
Michelle