I am new to the group and am looking for help. My son has Asperger's syndrome (a high functioning autism) and the most important thing in his life is his cat Lucy. Last Tuesday we had to rush her to the vets when she collapsed. After days of being in intensive care she died of liver failure today. The vet does not have a good explanation, but the issue I have to face now is how to help my son through his grief. He arrives home tomorrow after being gone on a special camping trip. I have cried for days, anticipating this outcome (I visited her there every day to pet her and talk to the doctor. I kept telling her she needed to get better for her boy). Does anyone know some good sites for kids to go to or good help lines to call? He is 13, but developmentally is closer to 10. Thank you...Karen

TannerSmith,
I also have a son with a tentative diagnosis of Asperger's. Through the years I've found that he has perhaps of all my 5 boys the most mature understanding of death. I think if you explain what happened, maybe have him talk to the vet, he'll better understand that you all did the best you could do under the cir%%stances. Bad things happen to people and animals that can't be explained, and it's hard to lose that kind of control that we all feel we should have. I can tell that this is tormenting you, and will probably shock and hurt your son terribly. He may need some counseling or extra attention - I don't know if he's on meds or not - but if he has a doctor, that may be an option to give him an outlet for his emotions. You all have my sympathy, and I pray that you'll all get through this difficult time with each other's support. Let us know how he and you are doing - take care and God bless - Barbara

My nephew has Asperger's syndrome , and when their dog passed last year they told him the truth with great detail. He talked to the vet, he did have to get some extra attention and extra sessions of counseling but he handled better than the nephew that wasnt Asperger who was aslo older.
I am so sorry for your loss.

I am so sorry for the loss of Lucy, Lucy is now in Kitty Heaven and served well on this earth keeping your son company and showing him unconditional love.


BabyKings Mama Person

Thank you both for your feedback about telling my son. He will probably return in a few hours and Barbara, you are right--I am really worried by how this might effect him. Lucy was a little cat we rescued from a road in the country. She was very timid and somehow he ended up giving her a refuge in his room. For the past few years he has doted on Lucy. Every sad thing that happens in his life has always boiled down to "What happens if Lucy dies?" I dread telling him the worst news he has ever heard, but the reality is that I have to. I'll return later and tell you how it turns out. Again, thank you for your kind words and support. Karen

Dear Baby King's Mamma,

I cried when I saw the picture you just posted. Thank you so much. I will try to find a way to print it and eventually give it to my son.

I also have to tell you that I keep thinking of your story and am so sorry for the pain you must continue to experience. The person who wrote the unkind post about your terrible experience must have hurt in their own lives to react so harshly. I am sorry you had to read that. I truly believe you will be able to hold Baby King again some day.

Karen

Well, we told him last night. We picked him up from his friend's house after camping, and after bubbling about all the things they did he hopped into the car and asked,"How's Lucy." It was tough. He cried as I can never remember hearing anyone cry for about an hour straight. But eventually we all sat down and I could tell him how I visited her every day at the vet, taking her her favorite loving blanket and telling her how much my son loved her. He actually slept in our bedroom last night because he couldn't bear to be in his bed alone without Lucy. Today we bury her and I know it will be hard all over again, but I guess there's no way around this path. I miss Lucy too.
Karen

glad to read the event went well overall. please give my condolensces to your son, and that he can feel free to post here as well should he feel the need.

I hope you find comfort in the picture I designed for Lucy. I sent an 8X11 size of the picture to your e-mail. I am a graphic artist and find inner peace designing these graphics for beloved animals. I have copied Baby Kings pictures on photo paper and framed them.

Please find peace in enjoying Lucy in heaven with her angels.

Baby Kings Mama Person

Hi,

I went to read your post, and my cat Cubby came over and rested on the computer, looked at the screen, and there was Lucy's picture. I think you and your son will find quite a resemblence!

Love and prayers,
Kathy and Cubby

Whoops, I couldn't attach the picture. Send me your email if you would like and I'll send it to you.