Dearest Lucy,

It was one year ago today that we made the painful decision to end your suffering. It has been a hard year, with many changes, but one thing remains a constant...we miss you terribly. I miss so many things about you...your sweet and gentle nature, your soulful eyes, your constant and unrelenting loyalty and love, the way you would bury your face into my shoulder and give me hugs, the sweet smell of your fur. These things make me happy to think of, but they also make me sad, because they are the things that make me long for you.

When we got you, you were just a little peanut of a baby. You were so young and needed us for so many things. We were happy to oblige. You were our first baby. As you became older, it was you who wanted to care for and protect us. You did your job well, and we loved you for it.

We loved to indulge you in your favorite things, like swims in the ocean and extra treats. It was so hard for me when the vet wanted you to go on a diet. I hated to deprive you of your nightly biscuit. We had a good life together, and we were happy.

Then around Thanksgiving, you became so sick. You stopped eating, which wasn't like you at all. You became jaundiced, and we knew there was something wrong. For a month we did not know what it was, only that you were still not eating and didn't seem yourself. The vet did not know what was wrong. Your liver and spleen were swollen, but other tests were inconclusive.

Soon after that, I received the phone call from hell. The vet told me that you had lymphoma. It was the same disease that had killed my grandfather in less than 2 weeks from his diagnosis. I knew it was bad. I couldn't believe it because you were only five years old. You were way too young for this. You didn't have long...only a couple of weeks, probably six at most. My heart crashed and my world fell apart right then and there.

It was a death sentence. I came home to you, buried my face in your neck and cried for hours. In a way, it was you who comforted me as I faced the unthinkable. We spent the next few weeks doing things you loved, like taking trips to the beach, eating yummy meat, and just spending time with each other. Those times are so precious to me.

On that Friday, I knew you were nearing the end. You looked so sad, and your belly was swollen with cancer. A liitle blood dripped from your nose and you stumbled coming down the stairs. We knew it was time. The vet came to our house, and as you lay in our arms, you calmly let the needle slide in. As you drifted away, I realized what a beautiful moment I had witnessed.

Then you were gone. No more breathing, nothing. I screamed and cried and pounded the floor. I wanted you back so badly. I felt anger and loss that I had never felt before. You were my baby, and you had passed right before my eyes.

When you died, my life changed forever. You taught me lessons I will never forget, like how to live in the moment, to love and enjoy the things in life that are really important, and most importantly, the value of unconditional love.

I want you to know on the one year anniversary of your passing, I love you more than ever, and you will never be forgotten. You are my Lu-Lu, my Lucy-Goose. I know I will see you again one day. I have to believe that. In the meantime, I will live for you, and enjoy my life the way I know you would want me to.

I love you baby. You are so missed and you were such a special girl. Please know that I think about you every day, and that while the pain of your loss has subsided, the memory of you will never, ever leave me, no matter how old I live to be.

Yours always, Mommy (Daddy, Connor, Molly and Charlotte too)

Dear Caroline,

You've posted a beautiful letter to your sweet Lucy. I had tears running down my face as I read of your wonderful relationship with her.

I feel a special closeness to both you and Lucy. You lost Lucy shortly after I lost Shiloh...they were the same age and we lost them to the same awful illness. But more, I think the connection is because they sound like they were so much alike...kind, easy going, gentle, but most importantly, very soulful. I think the lessons you learned from Lucy were the same that I learned (and continue to learn) from Shiloh...live fully in each moment and never take a single second for granted.

I've healed a lot since Shiloh's passing, but, like you, I still think of her daily, and know that I will miss her all the days of my life.

Here's a toast to Lucy and Shiloh...To two beautiful souls that blessed us with their presence. Their time with us was short, but their impact was great.

My thoughts are with you.
Love,
Kathleen