Hello,

Yesterday, my son's guinea pig, Braai, died of heat stroke. He was just over 1.5 years old, and I'm absolutely consumed with guilt. We usually put him out (in an outdoor A-frame cage) every morning so he can graze in the clover and fresh grass. Yesterday, I put him outside and my son was away at a sleepover, and I had to leave before my son got home. I didn't put Braai away before I left and by the time my son got home and went to bring him in, Braai was dead.

I take the blame here. I have never EVER had any animal suffer at my hands before this, and I just don't know what to do. My husband has raked me over the coals about 20 different ways, has screamed at both my son and I, and I understand his anger but don't even have the words to respond to him. True that I should have brought Braai back inside before I left the house, and should have ensured he was OK before leaving the house.

He was mostly sweet - liked to bite sometimes, but full of character. Chubby and loved kale, would do anything for blueberries. He was my son's 4h project and I was negligent which caused his death.

If nothing else, I just wanted to tell the world that I'm so very, very sorry. I just don't know what else to do.

Oh, Polecat, I'm so very sorry to hear about the physical loss of sweet little Braai !

Braai knew, and knows, that there was no bad intention here. No cruelty!! It was an honest mistake, and now you are the one suffering deeply. Braai doesn't want that. He is in bliss, and just fine, and still with you and a free spirit at the same time, since in the realm he's in, there aren't any time/space limitations.

We all make mistakes and sometimes they can be terrible ones. But we can't go back in time, although we'd give almost anything to be able to do so. We need to get to the point of forgiving ourselves. How is your son handling this? I am betting that in time he will hear, and feel, your apology. I am hoping that you, your husband and son find a way to come together and grieve, with no blame. Sometimes people handle grief very differently but often there can be a commonality that brings people together. That is what Braai wants.

The fact that you often let him outdoors to enjoy the clover and fresh grass tells me that you really cared ! I've known people who've had caged animals and ... the animals rarely if ever had any freedom. It always broke my heart to no end.

Please keep us posted on how your family is doing.

Prayers your way,

Kathy

Hello Kathy,

Thank you so much for your kind words and insights. My son blames himself too; he did not immediately check on his animals upon returning home, but as I've told him - I was the one who put Braai outside, so should have been the one to think about him and check before leaving. My husband is a different story. I have a quote posted on my office wall - "To err is human; to forgive, infrequent" - Franklin P. Adams. Sad, but that holds here.

My son and I buried Braai last night in a shady spot along our creek. We put him with my beloved Border Collie as I know she will watch over Braai for us. I left him some alfalfa flowers today and an apple slice (since he is a pig I do believe my son will share his grieving with me and I am lucky in that he talks/shares. I will be sure to keep our dialog open and hope for the best.

Again, my thanks to you for the helpful post.

Hi, polecat, please permit me to add my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Braai. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Losing a companion so young and tragically intensifies the grief.

Our forum friend Kathy has so comfortingly shared with you what is in my heart as well. What happened with your beloved Braai is a tragic accident - - there is no cruelty involved. As our forum friend Kathy has already shared with you, so I also want to add my support and encouragement: your beloved Braai knows that you did everything in your power to give him a happy, healthy earthly journey. He knows you are grieving for what happened to him, yet he doesn't want you consumed by your sorrow. I know so very well from first hand experience with my own losses of beloved companions that this is easier said than done. This grief journey can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time. I'm glad you and your son are able to share this grief together, and hope your husband will eventually be able to be a source of comfort to the both of you. Please know we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us, polecat. This is a safe place where you can share with us how you are feeling.

Thank you so very much for honoring us in sharing your beloved Braai with us. Please know you and your son are in my thoughts and prayers that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Braai's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you, and please let us know how you and your son are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Dearest Polecat,

I cannot imagine the pain you must be feeling, but I hope you will accept my sincere sympathy for the physical loss of your little Braai.

Thank you for sharing your story with our community of caring, nonjudgemental individuals.

Sometimes the hardest thing we have to learn to do is to forgive ourselves, especially when our loved ones are beating us up with their anger. It is clear you never meant any harm to Braai, and he knows this. Please try to go easy on yourself.

I hope in time this tragedy will bring you, your son, and your husband closer together.

We are here if you need us.

Sending you lots of love and support...

Diamond-Bear