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Tom's Dad
For those of you that follow my Welcome Tang post, you know my little girl cat Theresa.

She came to me by way of PartSmart adoption center 03/2007. She was about 4 1/2 at the time and had no adoption fee. I got her primarily as company for my Sir Thomas (RIP 12/08/2010) From the onset she had to deal with crippling inner ear and upper respiratory infections. But since then (other than a mild case of worms) she has been my rock health wise. Emotionally so when I lost Tom.

Today it looks like her luck has run out. I took her to the vet because she'd been drooling and bleeding from the mouth (I thought she'd been over grooming when I'd find red patches in her fur) My brave baby girl has an inoperable tumor on the base of her tongue sad.gif The vet gives it about 4-6 month before she may not be able to eat at all even soft food. Perhaps longer with steroid injections. Chemo is way beyond my ability to pay for, and the vet feels it would just make her miserable anyway. I have this sickening feeling her time may come around December. Anyone who's read my post about Sir Thomas knows why that would be sadly ironic. I am devastated but determined to make her as comfortable as I can with the time we have left. She's fighter, so who knows.....
moon_beam
Hi, Tracy, I am truly so very, very sorry about the diagnosis of cancer for your precious princess Theresa. I truly truly know how devastated your heart is feeling. You are doing the very best you can for your precious girl. Having gone the route of chemotherapy for my beloved Eli I did not elect that route for my beloved beautiful baby girl Abbygayle without regret. I know beyond all shadow of a doubt that your precious Theresa is in the best of care with her Forever Dad and her adopted baby brother Tang.

Are you going to go the route of the steroid injections? Did your veterinary care provider mention giving her Prednisone - - benefits if any as opposed to or in addition to steroid injections? At least the Prednisone is a pill you can give her at home and would be less uncomfortable than injections - - after all who really likes being stuck with a needle routinely.

Thank you so much for honoring us in sharing with us this news about your precious princess Theresa. I know so very well it is not news you ever really wanted to have to share. Please know your precious girl, and you, are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how she's doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Tom's Dad
Thank you moon_beam.

Dr. Mills didn't say it was cancerous, only that it was inoperable (Unlike Tang's ear for example) He didn't mention Prednisone, but I will ask him about it. He was emphatic about my "partnering" with him to help her, so perhaps he has hope. But it didn't show in his eyes or body language. Sometimes I hate being empathic. She's going to get as much lap/cuddle/balcony time as she wants from now on.

I wish I could have given her another spring, but that doesn't look like it's in the cards sad.gif I'm not even sure we'll have another Christmas. Last night Tang laid down by the carriers and gave me a very compassionate look. Like he knew more than just she was going to the vet. I'll let you know how we are doing. Thank you again. Blessings.

TTT
LoveMyMickey
Oh Tracy, I am so sorry about little Princess Theresa. sad.gif I hope the vet can find the right medicine to help her, at least give her some comfort. I just don't know what else too say. I can't keep from crying right now.

I will send special prayers for You, little Theresa, and Tang too. I know he is sad too.

Much love from us here and the little waifs. God Bless.

LMM
Tom's Dad
Thank you LMM. It's appreciated.
moon_beam
Hi, Tracy, thank you so much for sharing with us how your precious princess Theresa, and you and little Tang, are doing. I do sooooo understand your heart's wish that your precious girl could look forward to another spring, and the heartbreak you are feeling in knowing the chances of this happening are not in her favor. It is important that you try to stay focused on each day as it comes knowing that you are doing the very best you can for your precious girl - - who KNOWS beyond all shadow of a doubt that she is "daddy's girl" forever.

Please know your precious Theresa, and you and little Tang, are in my thoughts and prayers that you will have a peaceful, blissful, and cozy evening blessed with your beloved Sir Thomas' sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. And please let us know how your precious girl, and you and little Tang, are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Tom's Dad
Hi moon_beam.

Thank you and LoveMyMickey for your generous compassion regarding my baby girl. I think what's bothering most about it is how much she seems to have been short changed over the past 9 years. First she had to take a back seat to Tom and his health issues. Then when he crossed the Bridge, along came Tang less than 6 months later and his similar issues sad.gif

I'm doing my best to make quality time to spend with her, but I can't help but feel I should have been doing that all along. Two things she did last night were both heart warming while at the same time worrisome. She slept in the bed as I mentioned in my post to LMM. But last night as she craved lap time while I watched TV, she was disappointed yet again. I tried to keep seated as long as I could, but force of habit an all that. But instead of sulking off to a corner like she usually does, she stayed as my feet rolled over on her back looking ever so lovingly at me. I can't stop thinking about how when Tom must have known his earthly path was coming to an end, he always wanted to me near me too.

But, one day at a time. We only just found out about the tumor. It's nowhere near time to throw in the towel. At least that's what I keep telling myself. unsure.gif

I hope you and Noah have a peaceful evening. Blessings.

TTT
LittleGirl'sMommy
Tracy,

I'm so very sorry to hear about sweet Theresa's situation! sad.gif Let us know what the next step is. Oh, I have a friend whose kitty takes prednisone transdermally and it's easy to just rub in on the ear, in case that might help in Theresa's case.

Tang is being so empathetic and wonderful !!

Will check back here tomorrow. Thinking of you and sending prayers your way!

Kathy
Tom's Dad
Kathy,

Thank you so much for your kind words and the suggestion of the alternate from of prednisone. I've checked with Dr. Mills via a vet tech and he says that drug should work in conjunction to the injection. She (the tech) also said her kitty had been on anti-inflamatories to help with the pain for a similar issue.

My next extended time off is Memorial Day weekend (ironically Tang's anniversary with me) and I am going to schedule a follow up for that time. Bless her heart, she really tried to eat the Tempatations treats tonight but couldn't even watered down. I will be looking into some soft treats for her.

I appreciate your thoughts and prayers. It helps.

moon_beam
Hi, Tracy, thank you so much for sharing with us how your precious Theresa, and you and Tang, are doing. Indeed, even though our precious companions' focus is always on making the most of the moment, they do realize when their life's journey is becoming shorter and want to spend more quality time with us. Please know you have NEVER "short-changed" any of your companions - - and your precious Theresa knows this. She is soooo blessed to have you for her Forever Dad, and I know she will appreciate the soft chew treats. It must be an annoying feeling in her mouth with the tumor on her tongue - - which is probably why she kept licking herself hoping to get rid of it. I'm so keeping your precious girl in my thoughts and prayers that the injections and other meds will help to shrink the tumor and keep her comfortable. Will look forward to sharing your news as to how she's doing, and how her check up goes in the next few weeks.

My friend, please know your precious Theresa, and you and little Tang, are in my thoughts and prayers that you will have a peaceful, blissful, and cozy evening blessed with your beloved Sir Thomas' sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. And please let us know how your precious girl, and you and little Tang, are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Tom's Dad
Hello moon_beam.

Thank you for your kind words about Theresa. I was going to wait until the holiday weekend to take her back to the vet, but I'm going to try to get her in the week before as when she meows (or tries to) I can clearly see the tumor sad.gif I'd try this weekend, but it being Derby I'll never get a cab.

It isn't that she does not want to eat, but that she tries (hard) and kind of fails. Same for the grooming, which is really heartbreaking because she is such a fussy girl about that. The brushing helps, but I think I'm going to get some baby shampoo this weekend and giver her - yes - the dreaded bath. Her paws and lower legs are a mess from the litter box and she shakes them for all she's worth. More in my other thread.

Blessings.

TTT
moon_beam
Hi, Tracy, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're precious Theresa is doing. I'm so sorry the tumor is becoming more troublesome for her, and heartbreaking for you to see her having difficulty. I can certainly understand your wanting to have her see her doctor sooner, and waiting until after the Derby is a good idea - - less stress on her AND you.

Ah yes - - the dreaded bath. I remember having to do some clean up on my beloved Abbygayle as her "pantaloon" fur britches would get a bit on the messy side from time to time. She didn't always appreciate it while I was cleaning her, but she was ever so thankful with the results afterward. I'm sure the same will be true with your precious Theresa. Please let us know how things go.

As always, my friend, please know your precious Theresa, and you and little Tang, are in my thoughts and prayers that you will have a peaceful, blissful, and cozy evening blessed with your beloved Sir Thomas' sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. And please let us know how your precious girl, and you and little Tang, are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Tom's Dad
Hi moon_beam.

Thank so much for your continuing support in this troubling time. I got the baby shampoo at the Dollar Tree, but they had no soft treats. So I had to make a special trip to the other end of the shopping center to Feeders to get some. They won'y be open yet when I go early to Save a Lot tomorrow. She's worth it and I just hope she can eat them.

I was thinking the same thing when you said "She didn't always appreciate it while I was cleaning her, but she was ever so thankful with the results afterward. I'm sure the same will be true with your precious Theresa." I figure she will need this about once a week in conjunction to the daily brushing - but it's quality time we can spend focusing on just her (the brushing anyway). She still seems to have plenty of energy and has interest in eating if not the total ability.

Thanks again for the support. Blessings.

TTT
moon_beam
Hi, Tracy, thank you so much for sharing with us how your precious princess Theresa is doing. If I may make a suggestion - - which you are probably already aware of - - you might want to consider syringe feeding your precious girl by pureeing her food to a consistency that can be pulled into a feeding syringe and then given to her orally. This can help make sure she is getting at least some nutrition as well needed fluids so that she doesn't become dehydrated. You will probably want to talk to Dr. Mills about this to see if he thinks this would be a good idea - - particularly since you both know the condition of her mouth and if she would be able to tolerate this. Please let us know how she's doing with the soft treats. The good news is that she still seems to have an appetite - - it's just a matter now of finding the technique that will help her to eat comfortably and successfully.

My friend, please know your precious Theresa, and you and little Tang, are in my thoughts and prayers that you will have a peaceful, blissful, and cozy evening blessed with your beloved Sir Thomas' sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. And please let us know how your precious girl, and you and little Tang, are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Tom's Dad
Hello moon_beam.

Thank you for the suggestion about the syringe. I have thought of it, but we are a long way off of force feeding. She ate the soft treats just fine as evidenced by not so much as a crumb left behind. As for the can food, I have been watering it to the consistency that would go into a syringe and she seems to be eating a fair portion of that out of the bowl. Plus I have seen her drinking water aplenty - which is good. She also has picked up on Tang's trick of dropping the Iams into the water bowl and eating them that way. Messy, but as long as she eats. I've tried watering down kibbles in a separate bowl, but she seems disinterested in that.

Speaking of water, she had her bath this morning after I put up the groceries. I was going to wait as she was stretched out on the balcony enjoying sunbeams. But then she came in on her own - I took that as a sign to go ahead and proceed. To say she did NOT like it is putting it mildly. But she didn't fight me as much as I thought she would. That leads me to believe that while she didn't like it, she knew it was needed. I proceeded to hold her in a towel drying her off and telling her what a good girl she is. I didn't get her as clean as I would have liked, but think some of the "brown" is just darkening of the fur that comes with age in white cats. And don't you know just minutes after I let her go she was in the litter box rolleyes.gif

She is enjoying sunbeams in front of sliding glass doors right now. Later I'll brush out the stray tangles in her fur. As always, thank you for your continued kindness and support for me and my little girl. Blessings.

TTT
MannaPaws
Dear Tom's Dad,

I just read about your sweet Theresa and the inoperable tumor on her tongue. My eyes filled with tears, since I know how devastating it is to discover your precious baby is ill. I can see without a doubt that you are a loving, caring father to your girl. And I know without a doubt that she loves everything you've done and are doing for her, such as cuddling with her, brushing her hair, and giving her special treats and food. She can feel your love . . . and love covers and heals many an ailment.

As much as Theresa didn't like the bath, she knew you were doing it to help her feel better. It's like you said that although she didn't like it, she didn't fight it as much, which led you to believe that she knew she needed it.

It is encouraging to see that Theresa was able to eat the soft treats and the watered down canned food. She's also picked up on Tang's trick of dropping the Iams into the water bowl and eating the kibbles that way. Another encouraging thing is that she went to the litter box after the bath.

I know that the Vet mentioned that Theresa may have 4-6 months before not being able to eat even soft food, maybe longer with the steroid injections or having Prednisone administered transdermally, as another poster had suggested. But I'd like to share that one of my precious companion feline boys had also come down with a devastating illness and was given about a month to live. As it turned out, he lived 2 1/2 years longer, and even though he wasn't in perfect health, he was still able to engage with us during that time, and had a high quality of life for the "most" part. I know each companion is different, and things can change at a moment's notice, but I'm just sharing this so you'll know that nothing is ever written in stone.

I am new to this forum, but thought I'd respond to your post because your words describing your precious, sweet Theresa moved my heart and spirit. Please know that I will keep your sweet girl in my prayers, asking that God alleviate the pain in her mouth and reduce the size of the tumor. I will also keep you and your precious Tang in my prayers that you find comfort and strength, as you watch over and continue to give love and care to your girl.

Warmest Regards,
MannaPaws
moon_beam
Hi, Tracy, thank you so much for sharing with us how your precious Theresa, and you and little Tang, are doing. I'm so very glad to share your news that your precious girl is finding a way to eat the food and treats you provide for her, and is drinking water to keep hydrated. This very good news, and I know it takes a huge concern off your mind - - at least for now.

I'm so chuckling at the bath time. Still I know for a certainty that she knows you're doing everything to help keep her comfortable - - which includes assisting her with her bathing as she needs it.

I'm so glad our forum friend MannaPaws shared with you about one of her companions who was diagnosed with a very serious illness: "I know that the Vet mentioned that Theresa may have 4-6 months before not being able to eat even soft food, maybe longer with the steroid injections or having Prednisone administered transdermally, as another poster had suggested. I know each companion is different, and things can change at a moment's notice, but I'm just sharing this so you'll know that nothing is ever written in stone." The only thing our medical care providers can do - - both veterinary and human - - is offer us the value of their experiences with other clients with the same or similar illnesses. Only your precious Theresa can tell you "when" her earthly journey is approaching the time when her sweet Living Spirit will be transitioning from her physical body. This is one of the many reasons why it is important for you and your precious girl, and little Tang, to stay focused on the NOW and treasure every moment you have together.

My friend, please know your precious Theresa, and you and little Tang, are in my thoughts and prayers that you will have a peaceful, blissful, and cozy evening blessed with your beloved Sir Thomas' sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. And please let us know how your precious girl, and you and little Tang, are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Tom's Dad
MannaPaws and moon_beam.

Thank you both so much for your kind words of support. Especially your story, MannaPaws, about your precious boy going another 2 1/2 years after the vet gave him only a month. I believe (hope at least) love really does "love covers and heals many an ailment." That and a strong will to live - which I think Theresa has.

Nothing significant to report in her progress. We will just keep doing what we are doing until her appointment at the vet next Saturday. I appreciate the thoughts and prayers thus far, and could sure use more that Dr. Mills does not have worse news to bring us then.

Once again, thank you both from the bottom of my heart for your compassion and encouraging words. Blessings.

TTT
moon_beam
Hi, Tracy, thank you so much for sharing with us how your precious princess Theresa, and you and your little Tang, are doing. When an illness / injury is suffered by one family member it isn't just limited to the one who is ill / injured - - the rest of the family unit also endures through the effects of the illness / injury and all that it entails. Please let me reassure you that we are here for you to share this journey of your precious Theresa, and you and your little Tang.

Please know, my friend, your precious Theresa, and you and little Tang, are in my thoughts and prayers that you will have a peaceful, blissful, and cozy evening blessed with your beloved Sir Thomas' sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. And please let us know how your precious girl, and you and little Tang, are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Tom's Dad
Hi moon_beam.

Many thanks, as always for your thoughts and prayers. Yes, her issues affects not just her, but Tang and I as well. Now I feel guilty for the attention she's getting that's bleeding off of what he had been getting. Will I ever find the right balance?

I'll post more on her progress in my other thread as well as keep you up to date on how she's doing. Blessings.

TTT
MannaPaws
Hello Tom's Dad,

Just dropping in to see how your precious Theresa has been doing.

I continue to keep Theresa, you and Tang in my thoughts and prayers.

Blessings and comfort over you all.

MannaPaws
Tom's Dad
Hello MannaPaws.

Thank you for stopping by to ask after my sweet little girl. She's kind of in a holding pattern on eating and grooming. She eats soft food w/o water when it's fresh out of the can like tonight. With water when it's not. Enough to sustain her, but just sad.gif She will eat some of the soft treats too.

The fur on her legs and tummy is thinning and matted even after her bath last week. Brushing helps, but only a little. She does have lots of energy for the most part when I get home, so that's an upside.

We have an appointment to see Dr. Mills this coming Saturday to see about the steroids and ask about some AI meds. I also post her progress some in my Welcome Tang posts.

We appreciate the thoughts an prayers and will keep our LS friends posted.
MannaPaws
Hello Tom's Dad,

Thank you for sharing how your sweet little girl Theresa has been doing. I'm glad she is still eating the soft food when it's fresh out of the can, but sorry she's in a somewhat holding pattern on grooming and eating in general. I know it makes her feel really good when you brush her, especially since it's hard for her to groom her legs and tummy.

It's wonderful that Theresa has lots of energy, though, when you get home. That shows she's very happy to see you! But it also shows that she feels good enough to respond and has the energy to do so. My precious little boy was like that also, whenever I would come home from work, which indicated that he was feeling good on those days.

It's good you could get in to see your Veterinarian, Dr. Mills, to see about the steroids and ask about some AI meds. I'm hopeful things will go well, especially since Theresa still continues to eat soft food, and also has the energy to respond to you. I will check out the area you mentioned called "Welcome Tang" to check further on Theresa's progress.

I will continue to hold you, Theresa and Tang in my prayers.

Blessings, MannaPaws
Tom's Dad
Hello MannaPaws

Thank you for your kind words of encouragement. It's appreciated. We will keep you posted on her progress and how things go at the vet. I looking into trying to get her to drink cat milk replacer as I've heard good things about it. Have to cut it short tonight as my bus home was over 30 minutes late and there is barely enough time to see to her needs as is. Thank you again for checking on us.
Tom's Dad
Update from the vet visit today (re-posted from my other thread for those who don't read it)

The news was not good sad.gif The mass has increased by about 30% in the less than 2 weeks since he saw her. He has given me a 30 day supply of Prednisolone in liquid form since I think pills would be too hard for her. They also gave me a tube of Nutri-Cal which has not gone over so well, but am hoping will get better. In addition to the cat milk (that I give her alone and mixed with can food) I'm checking into meat flavored baby food. I forgot to ask about the fur trimming, but gave her a bath this morning before her appointment and brushed her right after. This seems to have had a somewhat better result.

She has energy and wants to eat. Last night she crawled right into the fridge as if I was hiding the "magic" food from her, then tried to stick her head in my fruit smoothie. She's also trying to dart into the hallway EVERY time the door opens. All things that indicate she WANTS to eat, but just can't other than the milk and can food "soup" It's very heart breaking sad.gif

Depending on how well the meds and vitamin paste perform, it's really just a matter of when I'm going to have to make a very difficult decision. But I will be there for her. I wasn't for Tom, and that still haunts me 5 1/2 years later. She has a follow up with Dr. Mills in 2 week; this time with an actual appointment rather than the drop off I had to do today. But they did get to her fairly quickly despite being so busy.

She is resting (comfortably I hope) in the little bed I made for her in the cubby of the computer desk as I post this. She came up to the couch but did not stay to cuddle. I am feeling sad, empty and numb. But we will persevere and make the most of the time we have left.
Tom's Dad
I have what I hope is encouraging news. After just one dose of the Prednisolone, she has been eating dry food last night and this morning. Not a lot, but it's better than the none it's been for days. I will continue with the cat milk to be safe though.
MannaPaws
Hello Tom’s Dad,

Thank you again for keeping us all posted. I haven’t been able to go online for a few days, but I was still thinking and praying for your sweet Theresa.

First, I just want to say how sorry I am after reading that the tumor has increased by about 30% since seeing Dr. Mills yesterday, but am glad they could see her relatively quickly, since it was so busy.

I am also glad that Theresa continues to have energy and a strong appetite, but I can imagine just how heart breaking it is when you see her only being able to eat the can food soup and the cat milk. You mentioned the Nutri-Cal didn’t go over well with her. I’ve heard good things about Nutri-Cal, so it's good your Vet gave you a tube to try with her, to see if she could tolerate it.

Now, if the Nutri-Cal didn’t go over well with her because of the taste, I’d like to suggest something that may or may not work. When one of my beloved kitty boys came down with his debilitating disease, he didn’t have any appetite at all, and a very difficult time swallowing, so the Vet gave me something called “Hills Prescription Diet Urgent Care a/d”. It is a high-caloric and nutrient soft food that I mixed with water. It was very palatable to him, as well as easy to swallow, so he began to eat again and gained back the weight he had lost.

This is “only” a suggestion, and may or may not be feasible with your sweet Theresa, depending on how well she can tolerate swallowing it and, of course, whether or not it is palatable specifically to her tastes in food.

I think your idea of meat-flavored baby food is a good one. I did hear from some people that meat flavored baby food can contain onion and/or garlic powders, and that is harmful to felines. You may already be aware of this, but I thought I’d mention it just in case you weren’t. I wasn’t aware of that, myself, until a couple of my friends told me to look what’s in the ingredients.

I'm hoping the Prednisone liquid and the vitamin paste perform well in reducing the inflammation of the tumor and providing the nutrients Theresa needs. That would really help since she'd be able to eat more food and increase the nutrients in her system. What's good is that Theresa seems to really like to try different things. I think it is cute that she wanted to try your smoothie!

Let me add again, as I did in another post, that you are a caring, wonderful father to Theresa and to Tang. You mentioned that you felt you weren’t there for your beloved Tom and that still haunts you 5 ½ years later . . . so I read the section on that to familiarize myself as to what happened.

I, too, had a similar experience with another of my feline sons about 10 years ago, and the guilt also haunted me. But as with all my feline companions, there was “always” that measure of guilt, with my wondering if I did all things right. I would berate myself for things I thought I should have done or shouldn’t have done, and things I wished I hadn’t thought or said to my companions during their illnesses. I was my own worst judge and enemy, most of the time.

As time has gone by, however, and as I’ve had the opportunity to read about and talk to others who loved their animal children as much as I loved mine, I realize now that we ALL did everything we thought we could do, given all our unique situations and circumstances, and that was the best.

Because of you, me and others like us, our sweet babies had a very good life. We cannot help what we may think, feel and even say at times, especially when our emotions are running high and we are in the midst of trying to provide care to our ailing companions. It is exhausting and heartbreaking, when we watch them decline, when all we want is for them to get better and be healthy again. But we don’t want to see them suffer either, and not continue in that state. It’s a struggle between wanting them to live and wanting them to transition to the Heavenly realms. It is what is known as being between a rock and a hard place.

So please let me assure you, Tom’s Dad, that you did all you could for Tom too. I just say this for I was in a similar place many, many years ago, and I now realize that I did truly provide the best care and love for my own sweet boy.

You needn’t worry about responding at length to everything I said, or even responding. I know that one can be VERY tired when missing buses, and then needing to get home to take care of our precious fur children.

You mentioned that there is the other forum you update called “Welcome Tang”, which I’ve also checked out, so I can do so in the future. I’m not always online, and sometimes can go for days, but please know that I continue to keep you, Theresa and Tang in my thoughts and prayers.

Blessings,
MannaPaws
MannaPaws
Hi Tom's Dad,

I just now read your recent reply about your encouraging news, after I posted my other reply. I am SO happy for you and Theresa . . . that just after just one dose or Prednisone, she's been eating the dry food since last night and this morning. I am crying tears of joy! I agree it's a good idea to continue with the cat milk, which cannot hurt.

Thanks for this wonderful update, which I know others will be pleased to read!

You, Theresa and Tang will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.

Blessings,
MannaPaws
moon_beam
Hi, Tracy, thank you so much for sharing with us how your precious Theresa's check up went yesterday. Like our forum friend MannaPaws, I too am very saddened that the tumor on your precious girl's tongue has increased in size. I'm hoping the Prednisone will help your precious girl. There is no doubt that she has the very best of care with you as her Forever Dad. This Anticipatory Grief journey is a heartbreaking journey all of its own. Please know we are here for you, with you, and beside you through every step your precious Theresa, and you, go through.

I hope today is treating you and your precious Theresa, and little Tang, kindly, and that you and your precious companions will have a peaceful, blissful, cozy evening blessed with your beloved Sir Thomas' sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know your precious girl, and you and little Tang, are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how your precious Theresa, and you, are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Tom's Dad
MannaPaws and Moon_beam.

Thank you both for your kind words about my baby girl. It's appreciated.

MannaPaws, thank you for your suggestion about the RX food, but if I could afford that Tang would be getting RX diabetic food rather than the Iams Sr as Dr. Mills said was the next best thing. Thank you for sharing my joy and sliver of hope in her eating dry food again. I'm not naive enough to think it's a full blown miracle, but I'll take it as a small one that offers us a little more time together and better quality of life in the here and now. She still hates the Nutri-Cal, but I'll keep giving it to her 2X a day along with the cat milk.

Once again, thank you both for stopping by with thoughts and prayers. Blessings

Still TTT
Tom's Dad
My baby girl seems to be doing OK on the meds still. Hates the Nuti-Cal though. She's still eating dry food in small amounts and devours the cat milk with bits of can food in with it. Her next appointment is 05/28 (yeah Memorial Day weekend) Any thoughts and preayers from my LS friends are appreciated. Thanks.
MannaPaws
Hello Tom's Dad,

That is wonderful news about your baby girl Theresa still doing okay on the meds! It's great she's still eating dry food in small amounts, which is a change from when she wasn't eating it at all.

Will continue to keep Theresa in my thoughts and prayers. Keep us all updated whenever you can.

Blessings,
MannaPaws
moon_beam
Hi, Tracy, thank you so much for sharing with us how your precious Theresa is doing. So glad to share your news that she is still doing well with the meds and is continuing to eat the dry food, and finding it easier to eat the canned food with the milk. These are all very good signs. I'm keeping your precious girl in my thoughts and prayers that her checkup in a couple of weeks will show improvement in the size of the tumor, giving both Dr. Mills - - and you - - encouragment that at some point Dr. Mills will be able to successfully remove it.

I hope today is treating you and your precious Theresa, and little Tang, kindly, and that you and your precious companions will have a peaceful, blissful, cozy evening blessed with your beloved Sir Thomas' sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know your precious girl, and you and little Tang, are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how your precious Theresa, and you, are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Tom's Dad
Dear MannaPaws and moon_beam

Thank you both for stopping by with words of comfort and encouragement. As I mentioned in my other thread, she's looking kind of rough - even worse than when I first got her and she had the upper resp/inner ear infections. That was mostly due to the "stains" of the liquid meds that got more ON her than IN her. She doesn't fight me as much now. Normally I'd be relived at that, but I can't hep but wonder if it's because she just does not have the strength to fight the meds unsure.gif I hope it's just a cosmetic/grooming thing. Hopefully I will get better at the bathing ritual; perhaps get a blow dryer for afterward.

Thanks again both of you for your support. Blessings.

TTT
moon_beam
Hi, Tracy, thank you so much for sharing with us how your precious Theresa, and you, are doing. The blow dryer sounds like it might be helpful. You probably already know this but just to offer a gentle suggestion to keep the setting on low heat and move it around instead of keeping it in one place - - as I know you would be horrified to have the heat from the dryer burn her. Some folks don't think of this when using a blow dryer on their precious companions.

I'm smiling at your precious Theresa being "compliant" with taking her meds. Oh how I wish I could say the same thing for my beloved Eli and Abbygayle. My beloved Eli fought taking his meds to the very end, and my Abbygayle just didn't want to be "messed with." So ENJOY your precious Theresa's cooperation, my friend - - it could just be that she knows you are trying your best to help her feel better.

I hope today is treating you and your precious Theresa, and little Tang, kindly, and that you and your precious companions will have a peaceful, blissful, cozy evening blessed with your beloved Sir Thomas' sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know your precious girl, and you and little Tang, are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how your precious Theresa, and you, are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Tom's Dad
Hello moon_beam

Thank you as always for your encouragement and helpful suggestions. I actually knew about the low setting on the blow dryer . But only because my parents (such as they were) ran a feline version of a puppy mill for Siamese. In the 70s the animal shelters didn't ask too many questions dry.gif Bad memories, but it did give me my pal Chauncey.

Anyway, off topic there, but thanks for the reminder. Perhaps you are right that she knows I'm trying to help her and that's why so little fighting. I just hope it's actually doing some good. I'm really just beside myself at the sad state her tummy, paws and backside fur is in. It's like night and day compared to the topside. I know it's making her miserable because she has always been such a clean kitty girl. I'm also thinking about getting some electric clippers like the vet uses to shave areas when the draw blood - fresh start and all. She won't even cuddle or sleep in the bed, just sleeps by it on the floor. I feel like she's embarrassed about her fur sad.gif


Thank you again for checking on us. I hope you and Noah are having a great day. Blessings

TTT

PS (7:23 PM): Had to coax her out to eat tonight. Fur still looking bad. She spit out most of her meds; didn't want to risk another full dose. Trying to figure out is she's telling me it's time soon sad.gif
moon_beam
Hi, Tracy, thank you so much for sharing with us how your precious girl is doing. Yeah, she may be feeling embarassed about her fur, but I know you are doing everything in your power to help her feel better. As for spitting out the meds last night, - - just take it easy. One night is not yet a "trend" and there may be a perfectly natural explanation for it - - although she isn't able to tell you why. Just take it easy, and if it becomes more difficult for her to take her meds you may want to call Dr. Mills before her appointment next weekend to see if there's some other way you can help her take them.

I hope today is treating you and your precious Theresa, and little Tang, kindly, and that you and your precious companions will have a peaceful, blissful, cozy evening blessed with your beloved Sir Thomas' sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know your precious girl, and you and little Tang, are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how your precious Theresa, and you, are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Tom's Dad
Hello moon_beam.

Thank you for the encouragement with my baby girl. I did not go to work today. Normally I can force myself, but today it wasn't there. Before you worry about me getting in trouble, let me tell you this. This one woman I work with has missed at least 2 days for every one of mine and we were in the same training class. This is the one who was going to quit if they didn't let her go part time. They gave her part time.

I am doing what I can for her fur. I looked at bath sprayers at Feeder's when I was getting more cat milk and can food (running low and not going out toward Kroger/Petsmart until next Saturday) It looked like it may not fit and they wanted 35.00 blink.gif

So she got a "normal" bath. I kept her in longer and washed a little more completely. She looks a bit scruffy, but cleaner. I tried to get her to sit in front of the space heater to dry off, but no deal. She finally decided to settle in my chair; so I put a towel down there and pointed the heater toward her. I'll brush her out after while.

She did seem to be heavier when I picked her up for the bath. I hope she has indeed gained some weight. She may be putting away more dry food than I thought too. Not to be gross, but her poop is bigger indicating consumption of more solid food than before.

Thank you again for checking up on us. Blessings TTFN

TTT
Tom's Dad
Well, this just in:

She was starting to eat dry food, but then decided to try to groom aggressively (guess my efforts are not good enough) There was blood everywhere. I thinks she's trying to tell me it's time sad.gif
moon_beam
Hi, Tracy, thank you so much for sharing with us how your precious Theresa is doing. I could be very wrong from my armchair assessment but it would seem to me that it wouldn't be abnormal for the tumor on her tongue to bleed - - as all types of wounds normally do. So this may not be a "sign" that your precious girl's earthly journey is in danger - - it could just be a "normal" process of the nature of the tumor. Next Saturday Dr. Mills will examine your precious girl and evaluate her overall health and will advise you accordingly. It sounds like everything else is in working order and that she's still involved with you, her brother, and her home - - these are all positive signs of a good quality of life.

I hope today is treating you and your precious Theresa, and little Tang, kindly, and that you and your precious companions will have a peaceful, blissful, cozy evening blessed with your beloved Sir Thomas' sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know your precious girl, and you and little Tang, are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how your precious Theresa, and you, are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Tom's Dad
Hi moon_beam.

It's not just the blood. I know the tumor will bleed from time to time (that's what prompted me to take her in in the first place) But she's withdrawing more. She won't cuddle (either in the bed or on the couch) She's not asking for hugs anymore, nor will she permit me to pick her up for some. And I already mentioned I can't engage her to play in any way which she used to love - she won't even give the laser pointer a 2nd look and she used to LOVE that.

All of that doesn't necessarily mean her quality of life is all that bad. But she just seems so sad and miserable all the time. This wasn't the normal bit of tumor bleeding either - I dare say it was a "bloodbath" Like she was trying to see if she could get herself to bleed out. I just don't want to come home to her dead or dying (and suffering) because I waited too long in denial like I did with Tom. By the same token, I don't want to jump the gun either. If she is "happy" being unhappy and not engaging with me unless I get right up in her face, thy will be done. But her next appointment next Saturday will tell. I'm going to tell Dr. Mills to me completely straight with me though. I sensed the last 2 times he was dancing around the issue and candy coating.

Thank you for checking on us as well as your thoughts and prayers. Blessings.

TTT
moon_beam
Hi, Tracy, thank you so much for sharing with us how your precious princess Theresa is doing. Tracy, I can so understand your concern for your precious girl. Trying to look at it from her standpoint I can just imagine what she would say if she could talk to you in a common language "what is this stupid thing on my tongue? It is so annoying. If I could just lick it off it would go away." So the only way she has of trying to lick the tumor off is through grooming herself - - frequently - - vigorously - - thus making the tumor bleed. The tongue, as you know, is composed with numerous blood vessels which - - of course - - can bleed quite a lot when injured in some way. Apparently the tumor / growth has quite a lot of blood vessels in it so when she frequently / vigorously grooms herself it is prone to bleeding - - and at times bleeding a lot. So the volume of blood from her most recent grooming event could just be a normal occurrence under the circumstances. As a suggestion - - if you're not already doing this, or haven't thought about it yet - - you might want to consider keeping a journal of how your precious girl is doing - - eating, eliminating, engaging in her environment and with you and Tang, the events of when her tongue bleeds, etc.. This will not only help you when you take your precious girl to see Dr. Mills, but it will also help you keep track of her quality of life, etc.. It's just a thought for whatever help it might be to you.

Also, when our companions become chronically ill they do experience depression just like we do - - which includes withdrawing from their normal activities and interests. After all it's no fun having a growth on the tongue that makes eating unpleasurable and grooming a major mess. I know you're doing everything in your power to help your precious girl. This may be another topic you will want to talk to Dr. Mills about at her next appointment.

I'm glad you're going to ask Dr. Mills to be straightforward with you. You can't make proper decisions for your precious girl unless you have the facts. Just trying to surmise the possibilities a bit - - up until this point Dr. Mills may have been trying a "wait and see" approach so that he can get a better evaluation of how your precious girl is doing before offering you more definitive information. He may also be waiting for you to ask - - as some clients don't want to know the straightforward facts. From what you have shared with us, it seems you and Dr. Mills have a good relationship, and I feel confident that he will answer your questions to your satisfaction. The important thing, of course, is knowing what is best for your precious girl. Please know your precious Theresa, and you and your precious Tang, are in my thoughts and prayers that Dr. Mills will be able to offer you the support and answers you need to make the proper decisions for your precious girl. Please let us know how things go with her next appointment.

I hope today is treating your precious Theresa, and you and little Tang, kindly, and that you and your precious companions will have a peaceful, blissful, cozy evening blessed with your beloved Sir Thomas' sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know your precious girl, and you and little Tang, are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how your precious Theresa, and you, are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Tom's Dad
Hello moon_beam.

Thank you for your ongoing support and encouragement. I'm not really a journal keeper - pretty much keep track of things in my head. In a any case, she bleeds more and more everyday. For example, I had to clean her up after she did no more than eat/drink her milk/can food soup. Today she's been acting more herself. Clawing the carpet, wanting to go outside, even laying next to me on the sofa. Last night she even rolled over on her back as I brushed her and sang to her, So, she's trying.

But I cannot ignore that overall, she's not doing well. The tumor is not shrinking or even being halted. She can't even close her mouth all the way now or meow more than a tiny squeak sad.gif I can feel the "detachment" almost overwhelming me. And if that means what you say it does, that can't bode well for the future. I'm not making any decisions just yet, but I just can't go through what I did with Tom again.

Thank you again for checking on us and for your thoughts and prayers. Blessings.

TTT
moon_beam
Hi, Tracy, thank you so much for sharing with us how you and your precious princess Theresa, and you, are doing. It is very difficult to see our once vibrant companion become frail, and heartbreaking on every level. And the suddenness of your precious girl's medical challenge certainly doesn't make this journey any easier to bear. There is no doubt you are doing everything in your power to keep her comfortable and happy under the circumstances. She knows you love her, Tracy, and she is forever blessed to have you for her Forever Dad.

I hope today is treating your precious Theresa, and you and little Tang, kindly, and that each of you will have a very peaceful, blissful, cozy evening blessed with your beloved Sir Thomas' sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know your precious girl, and you and little Tang, are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how your precious Theresa is doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Tom's Dad
Hello moon_beam

Thank you, as always, for your comforting words of support. It really is hard to watch her go downhill like this, just as it was watching Tom. She is trying it seems, but so was he. I try not to let this show when I talk to her, but I think she picks up on it anyway; may be why she IS trying so hard to eat, groom etc. I'm very conflicted right now about what's best, which is premature until I talk to Dr. Mills I know. I am off Memorial Day and I have a feeling I'm going to need that extra day off sad.gif

Thank you again for checking on us as well as your thoughts and prayers. Blessings.

TTT
moon_beam
Hi, Tracy, thank you so much for sharing with us how your precious princess Theresa, and you and your precious Tang, are doing.

My friend, you have never lied to your precious companions about how you're feeling, and now is not the time to try to begin hiding how you're feeling about your precious Theresa's medical challenges. Some people think they have to be "superman strong". First of all, this isn't physically or emotionally healthy, and it doesn't fool our precious companions at all for they can see right through us and know exactly how we're feeling. Trying to hide from them how we're feeling puts stress on them as well - - so it's best for both our precious companions and us to just be honest with one another.

It truly sounds from what you share with us - - including in your topic about your precious Tang - - that your precious girl still has a Will to endure in this earthly realm even if it is on a limited energy basis. Of course she wants to spend as much time as she possibly can with her Forever Dad and little brother, although again her energy levels are limited. I'm chuckling at her waiting for you and Tang to join her in the kitchen last night for dinner. Even though eating is a challenge for her, her spirit is still willing to participate as much as she can in the normal routines. So please understand what you're feeling is a very normal part of this journey when you share with us that you are feeling "conflicted." This definitely means that neither you nor your precious Theresa are "ready" to toss in the towel - - so just keep doing the great job you're doing in taking care of your precious girl.

And even if Dr. Mills does not have encouraging news to give you during her appointment this weekend, you still do not have to make an immediate decision - - unless circumstances prove otherwise. Please know we are here for you, my friend.

I hope today is treating your precious Theresa, and you and little Tang, kindly, and that each of you will have a very peaceful, blissful, cozy evening blessed with your beloved Sir Thomas' sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know your precious girl, and you and little Tang, are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how your precious Theresa is doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Tom's Dad
Hello moon_beam.

Thank you, as always, for your encouragement and support. I know the saying "Where there's a will there's a way" But there is also "The spirit is willing, but the body's not able" That's what's so heart rending. That she's willing to participate in all the normal routines, but not able to. The 2 factors I will be looking at Saturday will be if she's gained (or at least maintained) her weight, and how big the tumor has gotten since last time. I know I should "be in the now" and I'm trying. But it's just so difficult. I will let you know how things are progressing.

Thank you again for checking on us and your thoughts and prayers. Blessings.

TTT

6:45: Home safe and sound. She was in the same spot and it was harder to coax her out. Puddle of blood on the carpet under her. She barely took 2 sips of milk. She is looking worse than Tom before the end. It's not just the grooming. This thing has really got it's hooks into her; it's not just on her tongue, it IS her tongue. When the vet office calls about the reminder, I'm going to tell them tell to Dr. Mills to prepare for the worst. You and whoever on here may think me a monster but I'm not going to let her suffer the way Tom did. If Dr. Mills says otherwise, great. But I can feel in my heart and soul the part of her that wants to let go sad.gif
moon_beam
Hi, Tracy, thank you so much for sharing with us how your precious princess Theresa is doing. My friend, I am sooooooo sorry that your precious little girl's health is continuing to decline. Please know that NO ONE here will ever think of you as being a monster - - why on earth would we knowing that you love your precious girl with all your heart and are doing everything in your power to keep her safe, happy, and comfortable. From first hand experience with my own beloved companions I know so well exactly how you're feeling when you share with us "But I can feel in my heart and soul the part of her that wants to let go." Only YOU know your precious girl's heart and only YOU can make the right decisions for her. Please know we are here for you to offer our support and encouragement in any way we can.

I hope today is treating your precious Theresa, and you and little Tang, kindly, and that each of you will have a very peaceful, blissful, cozy evening blessed with your beloved Sir Thomas' sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know your precious girl, and you and little Tang, are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how your precious Theresa is doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Tom's Dad
Hello moon_beam.

Thank you, as always for your compassionate support and understanding. Of course you would know exactly how I'm feeling after all that you have been through with your fur kids.

Another "sign" I'm getting is her "go to" place. The little area just outside the spare bedroom door and the furnace closet. It was one of Tom's favorite places in life (he was convinced there were monsters in there) and where we can most feel his presence from time to time. I've been feeling it lately and think she has too. It's even measurably colder in that spot than any other place in the apartment. She also sits/lays all hunched up on all fours rather than on her side or back like she used to.

I just hope she knows how much I love her and don't want her to suffer or be in pain. She's given me over 9 wonderful years. I hope I have given her the same. I don't know how long she would have lasted if I hadn't taken her as the shelter was clearly not bothering to even try to treat her ailments.

Thank you for checking on us and for your thoughts and prayers. They are appreciated. Blessings.

TTT
MannaPaws
Dear Tom’s Dad,

I feel such sadness, as I read the updates about your sweet, precious girl Theresa’s decline. First, before I say anything else, I want to say the same thing as moon_beam said: “Please know that NO ONE here will ever think of you as being a monster.” I read through your posts in this section, as well as other sections in the forum, and you are in no way a monster.

You’ve done the best for your precious Theresa, giving her the greatest care and comfort as humanely possible. You do the same for your precious boy Tang, and did the same for your sweet, beloved Tom. I can say without a doubt that Theresa knows you love her with all your heart, mind and soul. She isn’t feeling good, and she’s struggling, so that is why she won’t always cuddle with you, and why she’ll be in different positions. My beloved fur boy that I lost years ago, responded in similar ways, and that’s because his body was struggling to find that equilibrium. However, he knew how much I loved him, even though he wasn’t capable of expressing it the way he used to.

I also agree with what moon_beam said: “Only YOU know your precious girl's heart and only YOU can make the right decisions for her.” That is the thing, you are the best one to decide on what to do or not to do. I know that so far, what I’ve read from individuals on this forum, they would never think you a monster for the care you’ve provided for your sweet little girl. And if that means helping her transition to the Angels to be with Tom, then you will know the “right” time for that.

However, things can change at a moment’s notice, as I also discovered with my precious, sweet beloved boy, many years ago. A number of times, I thought he was on his way out, and then he’d recover again, eating and even engaging with me, albeit he wasn’t as chipper and spunky as he once was. Like you, I felt like I didn't know what to do, watching him in various states of decline, and then various states of revival. In addition, I was dealing with guilt from the loss of another companion whom I felt I wasn't there for when he died. All these things weighed heavily on me as well, and sometimes I thought I would break down completely.

On the way home from work, I also wondered if I would find my boy dead, or if he would be in even a worse state than when I left him. Even though I didn’t find him that way, and he actually died while I was with him, the pain of his loss still affected me the same way as with my other companion who passed on without my presence. What it boils down to is that it is extremely painful, regardless of what you do or do not do, whether you helped your precious companions transition or not via a Veterinarian, or whether you were there or not, when they transitioned to the Heavenly realms. This thing called death is one of the most painful things, and seeing our beautiful girls and boys go through sickness and decline is the hardest thing one will endure. It doesn't matter how it happens, when it happens, or whether it happens when we're there or not there.

Let me emphasize once again that you are not a monster. You’ve done nothing wrong with any of your companions. One can think and even say things they normally wouldn't during emotional upheavals, but that does not negate the loving, caring and generous you've provided for your companions. Also, no one but you has walked in your shoes and do not know what you've been through or the struggles you've endured. So if anyone has ever said anything negative to you in regard to what a good father you've been or the care you've provided, then you know they don't really know you. I'm saying this just in case someone has said anything that may have hurt you in the past. I know that some times family and even some friends can say things that can be hurtful for whatever reasons, so that's why I even bring this up.

But please acknowledge that you truly care for and love your companions, but you are also bombarded with all kinds of emotions right now and are struggling with feelings from the past as well as the present. Someone who bathes and brushes, feeds, gives insulin to their baby, adjusts and modifies the kinds of foods they eat, and also feeds and cares for waifs around the locality where you reside (I read a number of your other posts the “New Beginnings” forum) is someone who totally loves not only his fur babies, but also cares about and loves the homeless ones who have no forever moms or dads.

Please do continue to express how you’re feeling, and also update us all on Theresa and on Tang whenever you can. You mentioned you were concerned that Tang may not be given enough attention, but he can see that Theresa needs more care than he does right now. I will venture to guess that Tang's even trying to comfort her when you’re not at home.

I haven’t been able to check the forum and reply here until today, since I’m dealing with some health issues that I’ve finally gotten under control. Please know, though, that I’m thinking about and praying for your Theresa, for Tang and also for you. I will try to come back here whenever I am able to. Please take care of yourself and give yourself a big pat on the back for being such a caring, loving father to your precious Theresa and Tang. If I had a hat on, I would take it off to you to commend you for everything you've done and everything you do.

Blessings and warm regards,
MannaPaws
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