I had my dog, Mollie, euthanized on Sept. 5th. I hope I never have to do that again. It was the hardest thing I've ever done. It's been really hard. I live alone and Mollie was my companion and friend. I really depended on that little dog for emotional support. I've been hurt alot in my life by people and I could always depend on Mollie to be that safe harbor. Maybe that was a wrong thing to do to put so much store in a little dog to help me. She was a wonderful little dog. She could be so much fun. She would 'terrorize' her toys and even her own bed was growled and shook. It cracked me up. I loved holding her in my lap. Sometimes she would lay her head on my chest and let out a sigh of contentment. That would make me so happy because I knew she was happy and feeling content. I never expected that she would be gone after 7 years and 3 months. I cried the first few days and didn't cry again until today. Between then and now I had kept myself extremely busy. I suppose part of the reason was so I wouldn't feel the loss. My work project was pretty much done two days ago and now I am feeling very sad again. Especially today when I and a friend went to an event in which Mollie went to with us last year. It was very hard remembering that today and it brought tears to my eyes. I wish I didn't feel the hurt and sadness. I wish I didn't feel it anymore. I know intellectually that I need to feel the grief in order to recover but emotionally I wish I didn't have to deal with it.

Hi, MissingMollie, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Mollie. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Euthanasia is the last gift of love we can give to our companions at great sacrifice to ourselves so that they can be restored to their former youthfulness in the company of the angels.

Please let me try to reassure you that what you are feeling is very normal deep grief - - very painful both emotionally and physically, yes - - still very normal. Many people, including me, share your feelings about your beloved Mollie "I live alone and Mollie was my companion and friend. I really depended on that little dog for emotional support. I've been hurt alot in my life by people and I could always depend on Mollie to be that safe harbor." Our companions accept us for who we are - - not what we have in terms of social status, financial wealth, possessions, etc.. They give to us their unconditional love and undivided attention and we in turn surrender ourselves to them without fear of rejection. They become the center of our universe for they are totally dependent upon us for their every need. So it is perfectly normal for our lives to be turned upside down when they precede us to the angels.

The adjustment to their physical absence is one of the most painful experiences we will know on this side of eternity. It is a journey that can cannot be reconciled in a minute, an hour, a day, a week, a month or even 6 months - - for you are now on a journey that is filled with all the first withouts and the memories that can be all too painful right now that include this time yesterday, last week, last month, last year to endure.

The good news is that even though your beloved Mollie is no longer physically with you, her sweet Living Spirit continues to share your earthly journey as she always has and always will - - for love is eternal - - it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. Your beloved Mollie is always and forever a part of your heart and memories -- she is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.

I know so well from first hand experience that when our hearts are entrenched in deep grief there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the searing pain of sorrow. Still I hope the words I share with you will offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey.

Thank you so much for honoring us in sharing your beloved Mollie with us. Perhaps sometime you will feel up to sharing a picture of her with us - - but only when / if you want to. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam