My poor little Lancelot is in the hospital tonight. We're not sure what's going on with him. I'm so tired, overwrought and worried that I just can't even bring myself to go into details. Please, please, please say a prayer for my little guy.

I'm not ready to lose him. I can't believe we're doing this again, less than a year after we lost Pippin. My poor, poor little boy.

Hi, Kel, please permit me to offer you my sincerest support and comfort in your and your precious Lancelot's medical crisis. I do so understand your fears and concerns and prayers. Please know I am here for you and am standing by to share with you what is happening with your precious boy.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

I feel for you in this time of need. Praying for his recovery.

Kel, I am so sorry to hear that your sweet Lancelot is in the hospital. I've said a prayer for him as well as you. I know this has got to be so tough right now. Let us hope that your little kitty boy will recover. I know you're not ready to lose him, especially not so soon after Pippin. Please let us know how he is doing. My heart goes out to you.

I'll try to write more details tomorrow, but Lance is home, safe and sound. We think he had a severe allergic reaction to an antibiotic... it was terrifying. Off to bed now, but so glad to have my Lance here for snuggles again.

Thank you all for your kind thoughts and prayers for little Lancelot!

Hi, Kel, thank you so much for sharing your GOOD NEWS with us. I know how much it is a relief for you to have your precious Lancelot home with you again. I hope he will continue to do well in his recovery from his adverse reaction to the medication. Please know you and your precious Lancelot are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you and your precious Lancelot are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Kel, thanks so much for letting us know how Lancelot is doing. I am so relieved to hear that you have him back home with you and that he is doing better. That was quite a scare. I hope that he will fully recover from this.

Unfortunately, now I'm back with bad news. While Lance was in the hospital, they did a lymph node aspirate. They got the results back today. Lymphoma.

I'm devastated. The internal medicine specialist is kind of baffled by it, since he's only a year old and has been eating, playing, drinking - none of the real signs of lymphoma that they usually see in cats, and his age is all wrong. She says the oncologist isn't sure he buys it either, and wouldn't do chemo without a biopsy confirmation. So tomorrow, we biopsy. We're also doing chest x-rays and abdominal ultrasound to check for spread, so we get the full picture.

I... can't even cope. I can't believe that a year after Pippin got sick, Lance is sick. He's only a year and a half old. He's come so far from the angry, terrified cat that came to us. Why? WHY? What did he ever do to deserve this???????

I can't stop crying. I'm so scared, and I don't want to lose him. I can't believe we have a cat with cancer. Even with chemo, that only gives him a year.

A year isn't enough. I can't stand the thought that in a year, Lance won't be here. I just don't know what to do.

Kel, I was deeply saddened to read your latest post. It seems so horribly unfair for Lance to have lymphoma. I know it probably hit you like a ton of bricks and it is too much to deal with not even a year after Pippin's death. You are asking why and I'm afraid I don't know the answer to that one. We don't always know why these things happen, and even if we knew why it probably wouldn't make us feel any better.
I've gone through some pretty rough times in the past few years and I've always been one to ask why, but now I'm finding myself asking 'Who' instead of 'Why'. I know that no matter what happens God is still in control and He will bring me through it. When we go through heartbreak and when the bottom drops out it matters more that we have someone we can turn to for comfort.
In this life we will have troubles. That is guaranteed. At one time or another we will all face pain, suffering, and heartbreak. Some of us more so than others. I never thought I would lose Tina so quickly after Danny. It seemed to me so terribly unfair. I didn't deserve to lose them both in a matter of 4 months. You don't deserve to lose Lancelot. Kel, I'm not sure that anything I say can take away the pain that you must be feeling. Just please know that I'm here for you and that you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Thank you, Danny's Mom. It's really hard. We just got back from dropping Lance off from his biopsy. They still think it's possible we got a false positive, but I don't know. I've been doing some research, and it looks like things don't necessarily have to be as grim as I'm making them. If it's lymphoma, yes, we will inevitably lose him. But I'm reading case studies of cats who've gone into remission for a couple years, and I'd be happy with that. So, we're just going to take it as it comes. If it's lymphoma, we'll meet with the oncologist and discuss our options, and we'll see what we can do to keep Lance around and healthy for as long as we can.

I hate it, of course.

I just heard back from the vet. The abdominal ultrasound showed his liver and spleen look abnormal. It's almost certainly lymphoma. They're going to do an aspirate to get more information so we can start treatment.

Devastated. Completely.

Hi, Kel, thank you so very much for sharing with us how you and your precious Lancelot are doing. Words cannot begin to express to you the very deep sadness that is in my heart with the news that your precious Lancelot may be very seriously ill with Lymphoma. I DO understand your shock and anger. My beloved number one kitty son Eli was 6 years old when he was diagnosed with end stage Lymphoma. I hope and pray with all my heart that you will be able to provide your precious Lancelot with treatment that will help him to have a longer happy and healthy earthly journey with you. Please let us know what happens with your precious Lancelot.

Like DannysMom, I have no answer to your desperate need to know "why" this is happening to your precious Lancelot. But like DannysMom's wisdom, I'm not sure that knowing "why" would really make a difference in the devastating heartbreak and heartache we feel when we are faced with the prospects of losing our precious companion's sweet physical presence with us. I wish I had answers for you, Kel, but the only thing I can truly offer you is my sincerest friendship which includes staying close to you - - reaching out to you through the portal of cyberspace - - to try to offer you comfort, encouragement, support, and hope in your time of need.

Please know you and your precious Lancelot are in my thoughts and prayers, Kel, and please do let us know how your precious Lancelot is doing and what the final diagnosis, treatment plan, and prognosis are.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Kel,

Please allow me to add my deepest condolences to you and Lancelot. I do hope they can come up with a treatment that will allow you and your precious boy to spend as much time together as possible. I know all too well how you must be feeling. All our thoughts and prayers are with you both.

T

Hi, Kel, stopping by to let you know you and your precious Lancelot are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I am here for you, with you, and beside you through every step of your and your precious Lancelot's journey - - whatever it may be.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Kel, thanks for sharing the test results with us. It is encouraging that his liver and spleen look normal, and hopefully the aspirate will give you a clearer picture of what is going on. Kel, I know you're going to to do everything you can to help your little kitty boy and to give him the best possible care. He is a young cat, so he does have that going for him. I hope and pray that treatment will get him into remission. I know this is is such a shock for you. Please know that I'm here for you, we all are. You are in our thoughts and prayers. Right now all you can do is just take it one step at a time.

Hi, Kel, just stopping by to let you know you and your precious Lancelot are in my thoughts and prayers, and am here for you.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi, Kel, just want to let you know that you and your beloved Lancelot are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you and your precious boy are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

I tried to post an update last week, but the board ate my post. This week is better. We're moving forward with chemo - this week was week 2. Last week was awful. Lancelot had a bad reaction to anesthesia, then a bad reaction to an appetite stimulant. He started to perk up over the weekend, and he's now back to acting like himself. He's been happy, playful and eating well this week. Monday, the oncologist thought he was doing quite well. He lost a little weight, but I understand that's normal with chemo at first. I might be wrong, but I think he's putting weight back on this week. I guess we'll see for sure next Monday.

Thank you all for your continued thoughts and prayers. I haven't been posting much - it's too hard, and I'm too anxious to say much. But thank you, thank you, thank you.

Hi, Kel, thank you so much for sharing with us how you and your precious Lancelot are doing. Yeah - - I know about the quirks of "high technology". I'm glad "technology" finally cooperated when you were once again able to try to share with us how your precious boy is doing.

When my number one kitty son Eli was undergoing chemo for end stage Lymphoma I was surprised at how well he did once he recovered from the trauma of his surgery and the initial chemo dose. He did lose his whiskers but not his fur - - so I saved the whiskers I found and started a "whisker box" for him, and I still have his whiskers these 6 years since he joined the angels.

Your primary priority is to spend as much time as possible with your precious Lancelot. Please know we understand that your heart also wishes to share with us how you and your precious boy are doing - - we are here for you, Kel - - always beside you and keeping you and your precious Lancelot close in thought and prayer.

I hope you and your precious Lancelot had a very peaceful and enjoyable Thanksgiving yesterday - - a day I know you both will treasure forever. Please know you and your precious boy are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you both are doing whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Kel, thanks for giving us an update on Lancelot. You are in our thoughts and prayers. It's encouraging that he is putting weight back on, and he is getting the best care. We all want Lancelot to get well and to have a relatively good life despite his health problems. Your sweet Lancelot is in good hands and he knows he has a great home and a great mom

Danny's Mom and moonbeam:

Thank you so much for all of your kind thoughts. I wanted to update you on Lancelot's progress. Last Monday was week 4 of chemo, and the oncologist hasn't been able to feel his lymph nodes since week 2, nor his spleen. His blood counts have remained good. He has lost weight some weeks, gained on others, but he seems to lose on weeks he gets the medication vincristine. The oncologist isn't too concerned about the weight loss right now. As it turns out, we LOVE our oncologist.

Most importantly, Lancelot is happy. He has some days when he's extra tired or maybe not as playful, but often enough, he's his usual self. We had a bad night last Sunday. I was at work, and Lance vomited twice. He'd been playing in the basement - which we normally don't allow, but he was having so much fun, we let him - and then sleeping on a pillow made of black fake fur. Well, wouldn't you know it, but black fake fur is what he vomited. He vomited again, then went and curled up on the couch, and started shivering. My husband was terrified. This is when I know we picked the right oncologist - they have an oncologist available via phone 24/7. You leave a voicemail on the emergency line, even at 1 AM, and they call back. And I've found they call back quickly, usually within 15-20 minutes. The oncologist was so nice, and helped my husband while Lancelot was feeling miserable. By the time I got home from work around midnight, Lancelot was sleeping comfortably on our couch. And at 1:30, he woke up and was all ready to play! He had his weekly appointment at 8:30 the next morning, so I stayed up all night with him. His oncologist thinks that it was a bit too late to be a reaction to chemo, so we're thinking that the fake fur upset his stomach. Lesson learned: Lancelot really is capable of getting into trouble at a moment's notice, LOL.

The other wonderful thing about our oncologist and their techs... they know about Lancelot's bad reaction to anesthesia. Lancelot isn't always the easiest cat to handle at the vet. He's loud, and he gets very grumpy (though the oncologist says that on the 1-10 scale of bad cats, Lance is only at a 5). While sedating him for blood draws and IV chemo meds would be easier, they are as adamant as we are about not giving him anesthesia/sedation unless it's absolutely necessary. Even last week, when they had to insert an IV catheter, draw blood from it, give him a 10 minute IV infusion and give him subQ Cerenia to prevent nausea, they did not sedate him at all. I am so incredibly impressed and grateful. And because of how great they are, he's getting used to being handled more. We drive about an hour to get there, but it's worth every minute, especially since Lance likes car rides.

So, next week is a week off, except to go to his primary vet for a CBC and a quick look over by the vet. We had to give him the appetite stimulant again on Wednesday, but we gave a half-dose and he didn't have the bad reaction again (which was him getting restless, agitated, yowling inconsolably, stumbling like he was drunk). He was a bit extra-sleepy, but I wasn't very surprised, since cyproheptadine is an antihistamine. He seems to need a little extra encouragement to eat, but once he gets going, he does well. He's enjoying the fishy flavors of wet food right now. I know it's not supposed to be good for the kidneys, but I figure that even if it's not the optimal food, he's eating - and his body needs nutrition and energy right now. And speaking of energy, Lancelot played with me for half an hour this morning, and was running around while he did. It's amazing to see. I never thought we'd get another 4 weeks with him, let alone a mostly good 4 weeks!

His next appointment with the oncologist is 12/17. We're hoping his weight will be up a little bit again, with the break. That's also when we start thinking about whether or not he's in remission (!!!). I'm trying so hard not to get too excited. So far, all signs point to it being a possibility, so please keep thinking good thoughts for Lance! He has so many people pulling for him, and I'm convinced that's what is making the difference. He even has a prayer blanket that volunteers at my hospital knit while saying healing prayers (not for him specifically), which was then blessed by our chaplains. When one of them heard my kitty was sick, she went and brought it to me, for him. I had managed to hold it together at work so well, until then! It was just the kindest gesture - and I'm not religious, but I do believe that prayer and positive energy can have an impact. Sometimes Lancelot sleeps under or on the blanket, and Chaplain Jan said that when he does, he's wrapped in prayer.

I guess the TL;DR is that Lancelot is doing much better than I might have expected, and he's happy. That's all I can ask for, and more than I hoped for.

Hi, Kel, thank you soooooo much for sharing with us how you and your precious Lancelot are doing. Overall it is WONDERFUL NEWS, and I am soooooo happy for you and your preicous Lancelot. I know right now your heart is soaring seeing him do so well, and I hope and pray with all my heart that he will indeed have a remission from the cancer so that you both can continue to enjoy a healthy, happy earthly journey for many more years to come.

It is also a blessing having encouragement and assistance from the oncologist and the team 24 / 7. It sounds like they are doing everything in their power to keep the stress levels at a minimum for your precious Lancelot while he is receiving treatments, - - which also lowers YOUR stress levels.

And I am soooo happy that the hospital chaplain gave you a prayer blanket for your precious Lancelot. This is sooo sweet - - I know your precious little boy feels great comfort when he lays on it.

Kel, I hope his check up with his primary care physician for blood work will go well, and that his next oncology visit on 12/17 will go well - - that his oncology physician will be able to give you the greatest Christmas gift your heart is longing for: That your precious Lancelot is in remission and will give you a follow up schedule to make sure that he continues to do well. Please let us know how things go.

I hope today is treating you, your husband, and your precious Lancelot kindly, Kel, - - that each day will find your precious Lancelot feeling stronger and able to eat. You are so right that nourishment - - in whatever form that he can tolerate right now - - is what you need to give him. Please know you, your precious Lancelot, and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how your precious little boy and you and your husband are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Kel, thank you so much for updating us on Lancelot's condition. I am so glad that he is doing better, and I will continue to pray for his recovery and remission. His prayer blanket is very special and that was a nice thing for them to do and give to you. Prayer changes things. It is so comforting to know that Lance has a great oncologist, and I agree with you that the car ride is definitely worth it. A great doctor can make so much of a difference.

I'm sorry to hear that Lance had such a bad episode with the fake fur blanket, but it's good to hear that he recovered and is eating well. Every bit helps. You could even boil some organic chicken for him. It doesn't take long. My mom used to do it for one of our dogs. And it would be healthy for him. Or you could give him some wild caught salmon (make sure it says wild caught and not Atlantic salmon on the package) if he likes fish.

I'm also glad to hear that he's getting used to being handled more and that they are treating him so well. He is definitely in good hands! I hope that all goes well for his next appointment, and it's good that he is handling the chemo so well. I've been praying for him to be able to tolerate the chemotherapy.

I can so relate to Lance being loud and grumpy at the vet. My Tina was probably close to a 8 or 9 on that scale! She hated going to the vet and she hated being handled and struck at the vet or the tech whenever she got a chance.

Kel, I hope that you will have a good Christmas with Lance.

Hi, Kel, stopping by to let you know that your precious Lancelot and you and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers today as your precious boy has his oncology appointment. I am sooooo hoping and praying that his medical review will bring each of you GREAT news. What a WONDERFL Christmas present that would be for you, your husband and your precious Lancelot!!! Please know we are here for you to share your news - - whatever it may be - - whenever possible.

Please know your precious Lancelot and you and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers, Kel, that your travels will be safe today, and that I look forward to knowing how your precious Lancelot and you are doing whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thank you so much for thinking of us, moon_beam (and Danny's Mom, for I see you also posted). I'm happy to say that although the oncologist wasn't quite ready to officially say he's in remission, she thinks that's where we're headed, still! Lance's weight was back up to his baseline, and he had a great couple of weeks between appointments. He's been eating well, playful, and... feisty! Apparently, he's getting back to his usual self at the vet... Uh oh! The oncologist thought he was funny, in his rage. She said that he kept flipping around upside down trying to get them, even when they weren't touching him. As in, doing somersaults and flailing his big paws in the air.. it sounded like he was doing handstands. Also, the general consensus seems to be that even when he's being totally naughty (and fighting them), he's still super-cute.

The oncologist still doesn't feel any lymph nodes, and she can't feel his spleen. His blood counts were also good, she said. This week, he got vincristine, which is the med that he seems to do less well with. He tends to get very tired 2-4 days after it, and his appetite decreases a bit. She gave him Cerenia (an anti-nausea med) SQ after the chemo, and she sent us home with the oral version in case he had some nausea, and we have the cyproheptadine if his appetite falls off... and at least we sort of know what to expect this week. Next week is a week off, no bloodwork, but we're giving him his oral chemo (cytoxan), and then New Year's Eve is his next appointment. Two weeks after that, he's scheduled for an ultrasound to see if he really is in remission.

Remission or not, Lancelot had a fantastic two weeks, and honestly... that's more than I ever hoped for when he got diagnosed. I never imagined we'd reach week 6 with a cat who was his normal self. I questioned our decision to undergo chemo, and put him through any suffering, especially after that first week when he reacted so badly to anesthesia. Now, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it was the right thing to do. Whatever happy, healthy time we can give him is a gift to us.

Hi, Kel, thank you so much for sharing with us how your precious Lancelot and you and your husband are doing. I am SOOOOOOO happy for the good news you received yesterday from the oncologist. I know first hand how you feel when you share with us: "I questioned our decision to undergo chemo, and put him through any suffering, especially after that first week when he reacted so badly to anesthesia. Now, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it was the right thing to do. Whatever happy, healthy time we can give him is a gift to us." I am sooooo very happy for you and your precious Lancelot. What a very merry holiday celebration you will have this year. I share in your joy, Kel.

It does sound like your precious Lancelot is feeling ever so much better with his high spirits returning. This is always a good indicator that our companions are feeling good. And after seeing him so very ill and not knowing how things would turn out, his high spirits are especially welcome.

I hope the next couple of weeks go well and that your precious Lancelot and you and your husband will be able to enjoy this respite before his next visit December 31. I know you will be holding your breath until you get the results of his ultrasound the week of January 14. Your precious Lancelot has come a long way since November 5 when you first began sharing your precious Lancelot's and your journey in this very scary health crisis. Please continue to know that you and your precious boy are close in thought and prayer that he will indeed be blessed with a full remission so that he and you and your husband can have a very happy, HEALTHY earthly journey together.

I hope today is treating you, your husband, and your precious Lancelot kindly, Kel. Please know you, your precious Lancelot, and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how your precious little boy and you and your husband are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Kel, this is really good news! I'm glad Lance is doing so well, and I hope everything goes well next week at his checkup. You know he is in good hands, and it is a blessing that the doctors and staff care about him so much. Tina was given Cerenia a couple times, and it improved her appetite and made her real hungry. Hopefully it had the same effect on Lance as well.

He is such a brave little cat, and you are taking such good care of him. You know you did the right thing, and I'm happy with you that he is doing so much better.

Danny's Mom and moon_beam, thank you so much. We had a lovely Christmas here, even though it was very difficult not having Pippin here with us this year. Lancelot and Earl Grey enjoyed their first Christmas very much! We unwrapped lots of kitty presents, and we were all spoiled senseless with treats.

Lance's past week has been really good. His appetite remains good, and he has been so active and playful! He's been downright feisty. This week, he got cytoxan, which is a pill he gets two days in a row - easy! He seems to be doing well with it so far.


All 5 cats decided they'd tolerate each other in the spirit of Christmas.


Lancelot has decided that bows are fashionable.


It was Earl Grey's first Christmas, too.


Princess Willow - she's the one who we thought might have kidney issues, but everything checked out fine at the beginning of the month. Isn't she pretty?

And the rest of the pictures I'd wanted to share:



Strider, my little asthma cat. He's Lance's buddy.


Karma, the alpha male and my guy. He's an amazing comfort to me, when I'm missing Pippin. He insists on being near me if I'm upset, purrs and kneads and frets over me.


Lancelot says "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good bite!"

Hi, Kel, thank you sooooo much for sharing with us how you and your precious Lancelot are doing - - and these wonderful pictures of your fur family members. I know your heart is soaring with joy to see your precious Lancelot doing and feeling so well, along with each of your precious companions. I'm sooo thrilled that Princess Willow's tests came back negative for kidney issues -- I know this takes a HUGE concern off your mind with Lancelot's medical needs. What a "happy, jolly Christmas" you, your husband, and all of your precious companions had this year!! May the coming year be one of good health, much happiness, and prosperity in many blessings for you, your husband, Lancelot, Princess Willow, Earl Grey, Karma, and Strider.

I hope today is treating you, your husband, your precious Lancelot, and all your precious companions kindly, Kel. Please know you, your husband, your precious Lancelot, and all of your precious fur family are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how your precious little boy and you and your husband are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Kel, those are PRECIOUS pictures!!! Thank you so much for sharing them with us. They brought a big smile to my face! Lance looks so handsome with that purple bow on his head, very festive! Earl Grey is very handsome. I bet you love stroking his soft, long fur. And Strider seems very sweet. Miss Willow sure is a pretty cat. Shelley's one kitten is a dilute calico just like your Miss Willow. I hope she does hold her own against all the "boys" in the household!

I am glad that Karma is such a comfort to you. What a handsome big ginger boy kitty! It looks like you had a wonderful Christmas with your fur tribe and I can tell they are loved very much! I had a quiet Christmas with my "girls" and could have used a couple more days off, but I had to go back to work the next day. Shelley and Mindy both got a little toy for Christmas and they were very happy with them.

I hope all goes well with Lancelot's checkup next week.

Hello Kell

My, what a good looking fur tribe you have there. Lancelot, Strider, Earl Grey, Karma, and Princess Willow. Lovely names. I'm glad Lancelot is doing better and that you were all able to have a nice Christmas. I just had to comment how much your Karma looks like my Tang. And even though Lancelot is a boy cat, with a spot of black on his head, he'd look a lot like my Theresa. (right down to the biteys, LOL) Hope life is treating you all very kindly today.

T

Once again, thanks to everyone for all the support. I'm glad you enjoyed the Christmas pictures of my little fur tribe!

So, yesterday was the beginning of week 10 of Lancelot's chemotherapy. We were supposed to have the abdominal ultrasound to find out if he's in remission, but the vet who does them was out with the flu. We're really disappointed, but of course we'd much rather not get the flu!

The oncologist says that Lancelot "looks great." He's back up to/above his baseline weight, weighing in at 12.06 lbs. He got down as low as 11 lbs, in the first couple weeks after his diagnosis/at the start of treatment. His lymph nodes are normal, and his liver and spleen feel normal. This week, he got vincristine, and next week, we'll give him his oral cytoxan. Lance was pretty tired yesterday, but he perked up around 2 AM (since I work evenings, we keep late hours!) and played.

So, we've rescheduled the ultrasound for 1/28. Pippin died on January 27th, last year, so I'm a bit anxious about the timing - and I know I'll be a bit of a wreck. Meh. I just keep reminding myself to take things one day at a time, since it's all I can do.

I have to admit, though... when Lance was first diagnosed, I never thought we'd get 10 more weeks with him, let alone 10 really good weeks. I am so deeply appreciative for them, and I'm so touched by how this ferocious little cat has dealt with all of this. When he first came to us in April, he was completely untrusting, terrified and angry. Now, he will eat treats from my fingers, gentle as can be. He'll take his pills from my fingers that way, too. If we ask him to give us kisses, he will lift his head up and touch his nose to our lips. Sure, he still has his grumpy moments, but he has just blossomed so much. I'm praying for a miracle here, because Lance deserves a long life of being loved - and I'm trying hard not to think too far ahead. Sometimes I feel like there's a sword hanging over our head, but I'm just trying to appreciate the good days and enjoy them while they last. I really hate that he's sick.

For now, though, I'm just going to enjoy our funny, sweet little boy.

Hi, Kel, thank you so very much for sharing with us how you and your precious Lancelot are doing. I can so understand your being disappointed about having to postpone the ultrasound, and I can most certainly understand your apprehension about the timing for it to occur. I firmly believe that your beloved Pippin is doing his best to watch over you and your precious Lancelot, and I'm sending you and your precious Lancelot my heartfelt thoughts and prayers that the ultrasound will confirm he is in remission, and that he will be able to have a long, happy, and healthy earthly journey with you, your husband, and his housemates.

Thank you so much for sharing your precious Lancelot with us, Kel, and this sweet wonderful picture of him. He is so adorable. I hope today is treating you, your husband, your precious Lancelot, and all your precious companions kindly, Kel. Please know you, your husband, your precious Lancelot, and all of your precious fur family are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how your precious little boy and you and your husband are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Kel, thanks so much for sharing with us how Lancelot is doing. This picture of him is sooo precious! He sure is a very handsome kitty boy, and he is looking good! I was worried about him since we hadn't heard from you in a while, and I thought maybe things aren't going so well. So it just made my heart glad to see your post tonight. I am very happy that he is responding so well to treatment and that he has blossomed so much. He knows he is loved and that you are getting him the best care. I'm sorry to hear about the timing for Lance's ultrasound, we will be thinking of you. The first angelversary is hard.

Hugs,
DannysMom

Hi Kel

I have just read your whole story. I am so sorry what you and your Lancelot have had to go through especially over Christmas and so soon after losing your precious Pippin. I read the post with anxiety as I waited to see if there was any good updates and It made me smile to see how strong he has been and how well it was going. I have my fingers crossed that he is remission and look forward to hearing your next update. Be strong. Sounds like Lancelot it being absolutely brilliant about the whole thing too!

Take care

xxForeverxx

Thank you so much for your kind thoughts. Lancelot goes for his ultrasound Monday - we're pretty anxious about it, especially with today being Pippin's one-year angelversary. Thank you for reading everything and thinking of us.

Hi, Kel, stopping by to let you know you, your precious Lancelot, and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers today as your precious Lancelot undergoes the ultrasound which will hopefully confirm the cancer is in remission. Please know we are here for you to share whatever your news may be - - and hopefully to celebrate good news.

Peace and blessings,
moo_beam

Moon_beam,

Thank you so much for thinking of us! We're disappointed with today's ultrasound results, but probably more disappointed than we ought to be. The worst news is that his spleen isn't "normal" yet. The oncologist kind of waffled and said a couple times that it might not even be changes from the lymphoma (and she doesn't sugar-coat, I don't think). It is, however, better than it was when he was diagnosed. The good news is, though, that his liver is back to normal, and the lymph nodes in his belly that were abnormal are no longer visible on ultrasound. So the word is partial remission. He may or may not get a full remission. Unfortunately, she said partial remissions tend to last about 6 months, while full remissions last around a year. I'm trying not to find that too discouraging. It's more than we thought we'd ever get, and who knows what the next six months will hold? He's surprised us (pleasantly) already.

Other than that, his exam is great. No lymph nodes under his jaw, his weight is up even MORE (so he's above his baseline). She even said: "I don't give the fat cat lecture. If he's gaining weight, it's good." So, amusingly, I guess really *is* a little on the pudgy side. I take that as an overwhelmingly good sign about how he's doing with his lymphoma and the chemo. She reminded us that although it's a partial remission right now, he's doing wonderfully, and that's what we need to focus on. And I have to remind myself, 6 months remission doesn't necessarily mean 6 months *left*.

So... we're disappointed, even though we got largely good news.

Moon_beam,

Thank you so much for thinking of us! We're disappointed with today's ultrasound results, but probably more disappointed than we ought to be. The worst news is that his spleen isn't "normal" yet. The oncologist kind of waffled and said a couple times that it might not even be changes from the lymphoma (and she doesn't sugar-coat, I don't think). It is, however, better than it was when he was diagnosed. The good news is, though, that his liver is back to normal, and the lymph nodes in his belly that were abnormal are no longer visible on ultrasound. So the word is partial remission. He may or may not get a full remission. Unfortunately, she said partial remissions tend to last about 6 months, while full remissions last around a year. I'm trying not to find that too discouraging. It's more than we thought we'd ever get, and who knows what the next six months will hold? He's surprised us (pleasantly) already.

Other than that, his exam is great. No lymph nodes under his jaw, his weight is up even MORE (so he's above his baseline). She even said: "I don't give the fat cat lecture. If he's gaining weight, it's good." So, amusingly, I guess really *is* a little on the pudgy side. I take that as an overwhelmingly good sign about how he's doing with his lymphoma and the chemo. She reminded us that although it's a partial remission right now, he's doing wonderfully, and that's what we need to focus on. And I have to remind myself, 6 months remission doesn't necessarily mean 6 months *left*.

So... we're disappointed, even though we got largely good news.

Hi, Kel, thank you so much for sharing with us how your precious Lancelot's check up went today. I can so understand your disappointment with the partial remission diagnosis when your and your husband's hearts, and ours, was hoping for FULL remission. Still, there is very good news that his liver and lymph nodes appear "normal" and that he is gaining weight. These are very good indicators. And you are SO RIGHT when you share with us: "6 months remission doesn't necessarily mean 6 months *left*."

So, what is the protocol now - - does he continue with chemotherapy with a 3 month check up? I know you and your husband know each day is a blessing with your precious Lancelot, and he knows each day is precious with his Forever Mom and Dad, and housemates. Please know you, your precious Lancelot, and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers, Kel, and that I look forward to knowing how each of you are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Kel, thanks for updating us on how Lancelot's checkup went. I was thinking of you today and was hoping that you would get good news. And as you said, it was largely good news, even if it wasn't what you were wanting to hear. It doesn't mean that he can't or won't improve. Just give it some time. I think it's wonderful that he is doing so much better and that he has gained weight. And you are right when you say that 6 months doesn't necessarily mean "6 months left". Stay positive and give your sweet kitty boy lots of lovin'. Just take it one day at a time. I will keep you and Lance in my thoughts and prayers.

Hugs,
DannysMom

Hi, all.

First off, let me start out by saying things are fine with Lancelot. This week wasn't as good as some others, but it was still pretty ok. He's had a little diarrhea, and a few days where he drank a bit more than normal. He was a little crabby on Thursday, and between that and the drinking, we had our primary vet check his labs. Everything on the labs was just fine.

I'm just a nervous wreck about him. With the big snowstorm we had in New England, I was stuck at work overnight last night, and I was just beside myself. Add that to the fact that we have a bad history around storms... Pippin got sick around Halloween 2011 when there was a huge snowstorm and we lost power, and then this all started with Lance last Halloween right after another big storm (Sandy)... I've been terrified. I'm having a lot of trouble managing my anxiety right now, and I have to take the time to acknowledge that having a cat with cancer is hard work. I love him, and I am so glad to have the opportunity to have Lancelot in my life and to care for him... but it's work. And I live in constant fear of the "what if" and "when." I'm not sure how to cope with it.

Realistically, he's doing fine. His ultrasound was less than two weeks ago, and showed a partial remission. He's eating really well. He's perky, active... he was waiting for me at the basement door when I got home from work today, after I was stuck there overnight. He played with me quite vigorously right away, too! Yes, he had a little diarrhea, but I need to just chill... and I'm not sure how.

Thanks so much for letting me unburden. I don't know what else to do.

Oh Kel, I'm so sorry to hear about you being a nervous wreck. I've had a rough week myself, and I know how the similar circumstances of Lance getting ill can stress you out even more. It's understandable that you were so concerned about Lance when the big snowstorm hit and you were stuck at work overnight. Even though the bad weather didn't cause Pippin or Lance to get sick I can very well understand how a bad weather even can cause you anxiety and have you worried. I'm so sorry that you are going through this and I wish I could help. We are not meant to carry these heavy burdens. I know you've said before you're not religious and that's okay, but I find a lot of comfort in giving my heavy burdens to God and letting him deal with them. You can only do so much and you need your strength as your job is very demanding. You're not supposed to be superwoman and it's okay to ask for help. I hope that Lancelot will continue to improve. I will keep you and Lance in my thoughts and prayers. Try to find some time to just relax and unwind and be kind to yourself. You're doing the best you can for Lance and he is getting the best care. Try not to think about the "what ifs". Today has enough trouble of it's own, and tomorrow will take care of itself. We can only take things one day at a time. If we think too far ahead we burden ourselves with things we're not meant to carry. All the best to you and Lance!

Hugs,
DannysMom

Hi, Kel, thank you so much for sharing with us how you and your precious Lancelot are doing. You and your precious boy are always frequently in my thoughts and prayers, and especially over recent days.

Like DannysMom I can so understand how stressed you were when you were stranded at the hospital during the blizzard. It is hard focusing on the task immediately before us when our hearts and minds are filled with worry and long to be with our loved ones - - of every life form. I can just hear your precious Lancelot when you were finally able to get home: "Mommy's home!! HURRAY!!"

I can also understand your anxiety about your precious boy. Even though he is doing well, you are still on the Anticipatory Grief roller coaster ride where the good days are exceptionally good, but any change - - such as a bout of diarrhea - - can cause alarm and fear in your heart. You were very wise to get him checked out by his primary veterinary care provider, and hope the results of the tests have helped to restore some peace to your heart and mind.

One of the many things you need to remember is that you are not alone in your journey with your precious Lancelot. Although you are a nurse by profession this does not mean that you "should be" strong enough to cope with this stress of your precious Lancelot's illness alone. Please know each of us are here for you for as long and as often as you need us to share this journey with you - - the really good days, the not so bad days, and the days when your precious Lancelot may not be feeling his best - - AND the days when YOU need to share whatever is in your heart and on your mind.

Thank you so much for sharing with us how your precious Lancelot is doing. Will he be seeing his oncologist again for a check up, and if so, do you know when that will be?

Kel, please know you, your precious Lancelot, and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I always look forward to sharing with you how you and your precious boy are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Danny's Mom and Moon_beam, thank you. We got a great checkup at the oncologist yesterday, but today's been a hard day. We increased his phenobarb around the vincristine (one of his chemo drugs) doses. We gave him the first higher dose last night. He didn't really want to play, which I attributed to being at the vet and the higher dose of pheno. This morning, he refused food and treats. So we talked to the oncologist and gave him Cerenia orally to help in case he had nausea. After that, we found he had vomited overnight. I guess the Cerenia was a good thing, in that case. He ate a bit after he had the Cerenia, but then he got very sleepy this afternoon. Almost lethargic, not really wanting to wake up.

We talked to the neurologist, who says sometimes that happens when increasing a pheno dose. Usually it subsides after the first two weeks - but we're only increasing the dose for the five days after he gets vincristine. He'd never get to the "adjusted" point of things, so we're going back to his normal dose, and praying that helps. My husband and I talked it over, and the neurologist and I did as well - better to risk a seizure than to have him sedated and miserable constantly. A seizure affects his quality of life less than five days of sedation/lethargy. I refuse to compromise his quality of life that much.

So, he's waking up a bit now, and he's moved to a few different spots in the house, which is good. I'm glad to see he's been up and walking around a little. He's still sleepy, though. He also didn't really seem overly interested in food... not even chicken breast, which is one of his favorite things.

I'm scared Lance is fading away from me. I don't think that's reasonable just yet, but it's my biggest fear.

Hi, Kel, thank you so much for sharing with us how you and your precious Lancelot are doing. I can so understand your fears when you share with us: "I'm scared Lance is fading away from me. I don't think that's reasonable just yet, but it's my biggest fear." I TOTALLY agree with your decision to resume the pheno med at the original dose - - fiddling around with meds at this critical point can cause more difficulties than the benefit they offer.

I hope your precious boy is doing better today, my friend. I know seeing him more alert and active will help you to breathe easier once again. Please know you, your precious Lancelot, and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I always look forward to sharing with you how you and your precious boy are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

The briefest of updates, because I'm so very tired - I was up until 4 AM yesterday, and worked all evening tonight. At 4 AM, Lancelot snuggled up in bed with us the way he normally does, crawling under my husband's blankets and starting to knead and suckle his favorite blanket... it's lined with white fur, so it must remind him of his mama! I knew he was feeling better when he did that. And oh, to hear his sweet purr again - bliss. I cried all over Lance because I was so happy to hear him purring and see him feeling well enough to snuggle. (When he's not feeling well, Lance just wants his space.)

Today, Lancelot was his normal self. He ate wonderfully, has been drinking, using his litterbox (no diarrhea, huzzah!) and even playing. Tomorrow's another day, but today was a good one.

Hi, Kel, thank you so very, very much for sharing with us how your precious Lancelot and you are doing. My heart is soaring with yours with this EXCELLENT news!! I hope today is treating you, your precious boy, and your husband kindly, my friend, and please know I look forward to sharing with you how you and your precious Lancelot are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Another update - Lancelot bounced back last Wednesday and has been doing great for the past week. He's his usual, feisty self. I was at work tonight, but my husband (who works from home) said that every five minutes, Lance was yelling for him to come play. Hee! I also joined a feline lymphoma yahoo mailing list, and it's been so helpful to hear stories from people who have cats with lymphoma that have surpassed the six month mark that vets tell you, when you get the diagnosis. So I'm trying to be cautiously hopeful - and for now, he's so happy and playful, eating well.. Again, I really can't ask for more.

Also, weirdly enough, Lancelot and my other big boy, Karma, have decided they get along. ?!?!! They'd been better, but we still weren't letting them out together, which meant lots of cat shuffling, closing doors, taking turns putting one of them in the bedroom, switching... ugh. After Lance had that one rough day last week, for some reason, they are now fine with each other. Karma was acting worried about Lance that day. I know it sounds weird, but Karma kept pacing and trying to check on Lancelot that day - it's what Karma does when I'm upset and he's worried about me! Since then, we've been able to leave them out together almost all the time, and there have been no real arguments. What a relief and blessing! I was so afraid Lance wouldn't be around long enough for this to happen.

Thank you, again, for everything! I hope I can post another good update soon.