It's been almost 4 years since my Bichon Frise, Wally Baxter, died on me. I had to have him put to sleep due to extreme epilepsy. I loved him very much and posted here at the time. Photo here (with my kitty, Pooka)... http://lightning-strike.com/forum/index.ph...ost&id=2968
Well, Pooka is starting to get old because my girlfriend is chronically ill and I can't be here except for 2 hours a day. I love Pooka so much as he is my last baby alive.
I'm an engineer and I've been unemployed for about 4 years too. I'm not sure why. I've been searching, but I'm almost 50 and companies seem to not want to hire older engineers or outsource design to India (even though they lose money in the act....long story as to why they do that). However, I'm in a lot of depression and I'm thinking back to my Wally, whom I love very much, and who I now call "Saint Wally". I will lose my home if I can't find work soon as all my savings are spent and my retirement and I'm in quite a bit of debt.

I'm still looking for work of course, but with all this depression, I'm thinking the thing that hurts me the most is that I don't have a pet dog and companion for Pooka and I can't even afford to take Pooka to the vet. I wouldn't want to get a puppy when I could end up homeless.

I miss my Wally (my favorite baby ever) so so much. I've gotten over the tears for Wally, but just occasionally, I'll break down in tears when thinking of him, and the wonderful times we had together, him running beside me with his ears flopping around as he'd pant looking up to me and looking as if he's smiling at me. We both had a great time on such days. Or when he'd sleep next to me on the bed and I'd put my arm around him and we'd snuggle together at night.
I miss him so much.

I love my little Pooka and even he misses Wally, with whom he used to play hide and seek.

I don't mean to be a bore, but I'm just feeling a bit down and am missing my little baby.

Thanks
-Donald

I'm sorry Donald.
I just lost my baby Zoe last month. I'm not really good with making people feel better because I can't make myself feel better yet. I just hope everything works out for you and in you're in my thoughts.

I'm sorry Donald.
I just lost my baby Zoe last month. I'm not really good with making people feel better because I can't make myself feel better yet. I just hope everything works out for you and in you're in my thoughts.

Thanks I appreciate the support. I hope your own pain lessens. Losing a pet is like losing a child.
Thanks
-Donald

Dear Donald.....I am so sorry for your loss of Wally. I know it still hurts. I lost my Mickey almost 4 months ago and I still get tears every day.

You are in my thoughts and prayers to feel better and to find a job.

God Bless,

LoveMyMickey

How old was your Mickey. I'm so sorry for your loss. He looks so much like my wally (Maltese look very like Bichons). Aren't they adorable. They love us so completely that we can't help but to love them so completely.

The thing to remember is that that love is important to God and so they ARE in heaven. For them not to be would be to say that God is not Love. So, I"m happier now knowing that and that he's God's pet for now until I get there to be reunited with him and my other babies.

I hope your pain lessens. It took me about a year for the worst of it to pass.

Love and best wishes.
-Donald

Hi, Donald, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Losing a beloved companion is very painful, and when we are experiencing other challenges in our lives it just makes the absence of their sweet physical presence with us hurt even more.

I am so sorry that you are experiencing so many life-changing challenges. I can so relate to your employment issues, as I, too, am a "senior" employee but unlike you I am low on the totem pole. I have been attempting to change employers for over 5 years now and when HR folks see my resume they can tell I am an "older" applicant and I don't hear anything about my application - - no acknowledgement. I remember a time in our society when this was considered very ill manners and improper business practice. How things have changed - - and not for the better. I do hope employment opportunities will begin to open up for you, Donald. I do understand what you're talking about the "outsourcing" of work - - which is ludicrous in my opinion, for whatever that counts.

Donald, thank you so much for sharing with us about your precious Wally, and your sweet Pooka. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please do let us know how you and your sweet Pooka are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi Donald....Mickey was 14 years and 5 months old. We had him for almost 10 years. Oh yes, I too, love the little dogs that have the Maltese look. Mickey was Maltese/Pekingese mix. We had a Maltipoo named Annie, that passed away in 2001 from kidney failure. Then 5 months later we got Mickey. I truly loved and still love those babies.

I truly believe our pets are in heaven, as Moon_Beam always says, in "Heaven's beautiful garden". A friend said to me that God gives us animals to teach us "LOVE".

Donald, if you wish, click on my avatar and go to my profile and read about Mickey.

God Bless you my friend,

LoveMyMickey

Unfortunately, wally was only 6 when he died. That is what bugged me the most. He was so full of life. I guess that star that burns brightest burns shortest. I'll never buy a dog from a pet store again. We were trying to buy a Bichon from a breeder but we couldn't find one as whenever we called, the dogs were already sold. So eventually we gave in to the pet store and we tested him to make sure his facilities were healthy (which they were) and he loved us immediately. I remember when we got him, he was an older Pup (about 12 weeks) and he'd snuggle his head on my lap (which is the same way he left this world).

Pooka is doing OK. He's getting older and has some sensitive spots (as Cat's tend to) where if you rub them, he'll lick himself obsessively.Apart from that, he seems to be OK. He's lonely as I don't spend enough time over at my house. I spent the night the other day and he really enjoyed snuggling with me on the bed. That was a treat for him (and me).

Thank you all for your support.
-Donald

Just an update on all this. I finally got a job. I've been working just over a week, and it's a good job and I love it. I just hope it lasts. I am so grateful for work. maybe that was the lesson I was meant to learn.

God bless you all for your kind words here. I hope all your grief has subsided.

I still think of Wally, but I now think of him as Saint Wally. Pooka is still with me and is doing well for a 16 year old cat. He's moved in with my girlfriend and I in her apartment so he's not alone any more.

Things are a little better now.

Thanks again for all your compassion.

Hi Donald...I'm so happy for you that you found a job. I'm glad Pooka is doing well. I know you still miss your Saint Wally. My Angel Mickey has been gone 9 months next week. I still have my crying spells, but I always think of the funny and cute things he did.

Donald, I hope your job works out well for you for a long time. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers....God Bless.

LoveMyMickey

Hi, Donald, adding my congratulations on your new job and am thrilled that it is bringing you enjoyment and fulfillment. I hope that life will continue to treat you kindly. Please know you and your precious Pooka are in my thoughts and prayers, and look forward to sharing your news whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

I was reading over your posts about Wally and he sounds like he was a very special little guy. I am also very glad to hear things are going much better in your life and also that you are able to have your cat with you more. Hoping for continued health and blessings for you.

I lost that job about a year into it. It was a bit unfair. They used me to get a product to market and then let me go....
I'm working as a contractor at the moment, so I'm earning at least.

Pooka had to have surgury as he had growths in his ear. I need to get those checked out to make sure they haven't grown back (they were 2 tumors in his ear and they burned them out).

He's getting very old but we all moved back into my house so at least we are all together now and I'm able to work from home, which is nice.

I'm grateful for what I have, even though things are not great financially.

Again, that you all for your support. I'm really grateful.

I still miss Wally of course, and my other babies that have passed. They'll be all waiting for me when it's my turn.....so that's something to be glad about.

Hope all is going well with you and everyone else out there.
Thanks
-D

Hi, Donald, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. I am so sorry that the job you had did not last long - - employers have NO sense of loyalty whatsoever to their employees. Still, I'm glad you're able to work from home and have some form of financial stability.

Sounds like your precious Pooka is doing well under your tender loving care, and hope the growths in his ear are benign in nature.

I hope today, and every day, is treating you and your precious Pooka kindly, Donald, and that you will have peaceful evenings blessed with your beloved Wally's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you and your precious Pooka are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Donald

I've just read your posts from the beginning. You've had so much loss in your life, no wonder you break into tears once in a while. And, yes, real men DO cry! I'm another senior (more senior than you by a ways) and have gone through the worst four months of my life. The dearest person on earth to me has stage 4 colon cancer and had horrible surgery (which worked) in February. While walking my wonderful Rufus, a half black lab. half Newfie and all heart, I slipped on a little piece of ice and SMASHED my ankle so I missed her surgery. Right after my own surgery to put hardware into the ankle, I went half a continent away to help her out and one morning, while I was eating breakfast at her house, I got a call from Rufus's former foster mom - with whom he was staying while I was gone - that he had thrown up the night before and wasn't eating. She'd taken him to her vet and they thought they'd felt an abdominal mass. I called my vet, the best in the nation, who told me what that meant - 99% change of it being a tumor of the spleen - and even worse, made up of thousands of new, malformed blood vessels and so inoperable. This wonderful man took Rufus to our University Veterinary Schools' Hospital where they took high resolution ultrasound and confirmed the worst. Then the call came - from the U hospital telling me that indeed he had a spleen tumor and it had spread to his heart, which was bleeding into his percardium and was compressing hs heart and what did I want to do. You don't have to be a child genus to know what the only answer was. My poor rufus passed alone - nobody to hold his giant head, nobody to stroke his velvet ears, nobody to tell him what a GOOD dog he is, nobody to tell him how much he was loved.

I've only had one other dog - Gretta - the kindest chocolate lab who ever lived. Like you, I KNOW that animals have souls. Almost every culture but our "scientific" western world knows that. I believe that some very special animals are spirit-animals, lke the Native American tradition of the White Buffalo. They carry a piece of our soul and we carry a part of theirs. These amazing creaturen seearch the universe over to find the one and only person who has the missing piece of their soul - and find them. Then they put themselves into our paths so we will find them. And we recognize each other instantly. For once, both of our hearts are whole. Oh what a glorious life! And then, all too soon, we, the human half are asked to pass the supreme test of love: to voluntarily put ourselves sthrough almost the worst pain on earth out of love for our soulmate. We have to affirmatively CHOOSE to put them first and confine ourselves to a life of heartache. Oh yes, it does dull over the years, but like you say, it never goes away and you do shed tears many years later - because now there is again a piece missing from our soul and now we know what wholeness and true love is like.

Because animals do have souls, like you I believe they live on after physical "death" just like I believe people do. Animals don't do evil so they all go to what we call heaven or what i call the Perfect World. There they are healthy, young again, well fed, many friends and ... they are still on their jobs- guiding our steps, watching over us, and most importantly loving us and being loved by us. And one fine day we will meet again, never to be separated again. And then we will all live in the presence of the Creator - together forever.

I'm still crying over rufus - probably will for a long time. But I know he is OK, living with his sister in the Perfect World. And at the same time, becasue he is a spirit, he can be here with me, too. Sometimes when I am working at the computer, I look over to my left and feel him lying on the floor. Even though I'm sad now, I wouldn't give up my together time with Gretta and Rufus for anything. And once this stupid smashed ankle heals and I can again walk 40+ blocks a day, I AM going to adopt another great old white-muzzler.

You're in the right place, Donald. We all know what it is like and why. And we all care and answer when a friend is in trouble or sadness. This is the best group site I've seen on the net - by far. And somehow i think it's our wonderful animals that keep us on track and caring.

have a blessed night with the gentle spirits of your family around you.

Gretta and Rufus's mom