My Joe has been failing for a few months. Just not right. Then on Thanksgiving I noticed a lump on his head. Very flat but it was there. Next day, another lump, on his side. I had a Cairn terrier who died from lymphoma and these lumps are exactly like his. Growing rapidly. He is eating. I found out on TG that he will eat turkey so I've been cooking turkey breasts.

He does not seem to be in pain. Just depressed acting. He has had a lame hind leg and hasn't been able to go for his much loved walkies so I thought it was just that.

Anyway, I just called and made an appt with vet for Friday. I had not been able to call yesterday, I guess I feel like if I here the truth then it will be real.

I feel like if i cry the dam will burst and i will never stop. Also, I don't want Joe to see me cry, he gets very worried and is very sensitive to crying. He is a rescue. I am at least his third home, he has been with me for seven years. Through some very hard times he has made it worth getting up in the morning.

I am so grateful for this site and you folks who understand the pain. I have been reading here for two days and I do not feel nearly as alone as I did. My friends are kind but really don't understand what Joe's illness and possible (probable) passing means to me.

Thank you all for being here.

Dear JoesMom

I will be thinking of you and your darling Joe and sending hugs and prayers for you both. Please let us know how Joe gets on at the vets on Friday.

Love
Jan and my Angels and Pixie x

I'm so sorry to hear this. I know what you're going through now must be unbearable. You are definately not alone now you have found this site. I am thinking of you and your precious Joe. Please let us know how you get on at the vets.

Take care,
Cheryl x

Thank you so much for your kind words. It really helps to not feel so alone in this.

I will let you know and I will try not to expect the worst.

Lynda

Hi, Lynda, please permit me to add my sincerest sympathies in what you and your precious Joe are going through. How blessed he is to have found a permanent home with you, Lynda.

Anticipatory Grief is as devastating as the post-physical loss grief. Your heart is breaking because you know the time is approaching when your precious Joe will need to go home to the angels. And it isn't fair - - there's still so much for you and Joe to share, to enjoy, and your heart is saying: "It's too soon for this to be happening!!!" Believe me when I say that it doesn't matter how long we have been blessed with the privilege of their company - - one day, one month, six months, 5 years, 20 years - - it is never long enough. We will always want just one more minute, one more hour, one more - - life time.

Lynda, please know you are among friends here who truly do understand what you are going through, and we are here for you every step of the way, with you and beside you, for as long and as often as you need us. Please know you and your precious Joe are in my thoughts and prayers and will be waiting to know how things go for you on Friday.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Dear (((((((Lynda)))))))

I am very sorry to hear about your precious guy, Joe, and will keep you both in my prayers.



You are both a blessing and a gift to one another; you to Joe and he to you

I truly believe that our precious furbabies are Angels, and there is no greater gift on earth!

Please feel free to write as often as you want to - sometimes that helps. I'll be praying that things go well on Friday, please let us know.

Much love & many hugs to you and little Joe,

Denise

Thank you. I am at a loss for words this morning. Appt with vet in 4 hrs and I feel as though I'm trying to move with gravity that has suddenly increased ten times.

It is such a comfort to know I have this place to come to, I feel the hugs and total understanding.

Lynda and Joe

Dear Lynda and Joe

Sending prayers and hugs to you both.
Thinking of you.

Love Jan and my Angels and Pixie xx

Hi, Lynda, just letting you know that you and your precious Joe are in my thoughts and prayers. Each of us are here for you, and with you, to share whatever is in your heart, whatever you feel comfortable sharing with us.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Good news/bad news. Joe does not have lymphoma. He does have an extremely enlarged spleen. Vet doesn't know what the lumps are and we decided that at least for now, not to do a draw of the fluid as this would not mean much since we've decided that he wouldn't have surgery anyway. Because of his age, general health and the fact that he had a terrible reaction a few months ago to anesthetic to have a tooth extracted. Very hard recovery.

I'm too tired to write much right now but wanted to let you know the news.

He has other things going on, has been on a downward spiral for several months. Rather than subject him to lots of tests the vet and I have decided to watch and wait as he is still having some enjoyment of life and is not in pain.

I'll write more a bit later.

I got a roasted chicken for him and he just ate a big dinner, so that is a good thing

Lynda and Joe

Oh, and the vet hugged me, I cannot express how much that meant to me. I love this vet she is not only extremely qualified but warm and understanding. That is why I drive almost an hour to see her. She will not hesitate to help me make decisions when they have to be made.

She said today, "today is not the day, we will talk often and as long as he has enough quality of life, we will simply do our best until that quality is not there".

Lynda and Joe (hanging in there)

Oh Lynda

I 'm so pleased to read your message this morning. How wonderful to have such a caring and understanding Vet. I don't blame you for travelling that far to see her. It seems that you and Joe have a good friend in her, and she will help and guide you.

Bet he loved his chicken, and lots of cuddles from you, I'll bet.

Thanks so much for letting us know. Please stay in touch, when you can of course. I will be keeping you both in my thoughts and prayers.

Hugs
Jan and my Angels and Pixie xx

Hi, Lynda, thank you so o o o much for sharing with us how Joe's exam went with his doctor. Like Jan, I too am so very happy that you are blessed with a caring practitioner for your precious Joe. Truly that does make all the difference for both you and Joe.

I do understand the walk you and Joe are making now. With my Oslo, as well as with all my beloved companions, I called this part of our earthly journey our "twilight" journey. My Oslo, who celebrated his one year anniversary with the angels just a few days ago, had many issues with him as well, and it was a stroke that called him home to the angels. He was 15 years and 2 weeks of age exactly when the angels called him home.

So, just savor every moment of every hour of every day you have together, as I know you already are doing. These are precious times for both you and Joe.

Lynda, please know you and Joe are in my thoughts and prayers, and will look forward to knowing how both of you are doing whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Joe was able to walk pretty far this morning, it made him so happy (and me also, of course!) No limping so whatever is wrong with his back legs is better. He loves his chicken now. Ever since Friday when I didn't have turkey and gave him chicken, he will only eat chicken. Whatever he will eat, I will get it for him.

Bless you all for your wonderful, eloquent responses. When I'm feeling down, I come here and reread them for comfort.

I hope I can get to the point where I can contribute to this site. For now I am absorbing the love that is demonstrated here.

Lynda and Joe, doing better.

I am so pleased that your precious Joe is doing a little better today. It made me smile when you said that since he tried chicken, that's all he will eat. They sure know what they like I'm sure you're going to spoil him rotten. He's lucky to have a wonderful Mom like you.

Keep us updated. Thinking of you and Joe.

Hugs, Cheryl xx

Hi, Lynda, just being able to get caught up on your news. I'm so glad yesterday was a good day for Joe, and you, and hope there will be many more good days for you and Joe to share. I'm smiling about his culinary preferences - - hey, it's important to keep his appetite up, so feed him whatever suits his tastes.

And Lynda, don't fret one bit about just needing to be here for you and Joe. Each of us have been where you and Joe are, and this is why we're here for you both - - to lean on, to reach out to, to rely on for hope, comfort, encouragement, and strength.

Thank you so much for letting us know how you and Joe are doing. Please know you and your precious Joe are in my thoughts and prayers, Lynda, and please do let us know how things are going.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Well, it turns out that Joe does apparently have lymphoma. I noticed his lymph nodes in his neck were swollen and took him back to vet.

Talk about a lightning strike, this moves so very fast. He is failing rapidly and after last night I think it best to end his suffering. Right now I am waiting for vet to call me back.

We just took a little walk, he didn't want to go far for the first time. He has lumps all over now, they grow so fast. He is eating but nothing but dribbles coming out the other end since Friday.. He was in and out of the house at least twenty times during the night.

thanks for being here guys. I have not told anyone in my 'real' life. Can't say the words.

Lynda and dear, sweet Joey

Hi, Lynda, I am so sorry that Joe's health is failing so rapidly. Please let us know how things go when you talk to his doctor, and how you are doing. Please know you and your precious Joe are in my thoughts and prayers.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thinking of you dear Lynda and Joey. You are both in my prayers.

Hugs Jan and my Angels and Pixie xx

Joe is at the Rainbow Bridge now. I just got home to a house full of his toys, beds, bowls and I can hardly breathe. I will write more a little later. Thank you for your loving thoughts.

Hi, Lynda, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the loss of your precious Joe. I know how you must be in shock - - the "reality" of not having the physical presence of your precious companion with you. Please know we are here for you and with you, Lynda, with every step of your grief journey. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Lynda, and please let us know how you're doing whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Dear Lynda

I am trying the find the right words. I know that your pain and heartache will be unbearable right now, but your precious Joey is free from any more pain and suffering now. He knows how much he is loved, and he will be with you forever, your special Angel. Always with you in your heart and soul.
Please come back and let us know how you are, when you feel able.
Love and hugs

Jan and my Angels and Pixie xx

Dear ((((((((Lynda))))))))

I am so very sorry to hear about your precious Little Joe . My heart truly aches for you right now.

You had the strength to give your precious little guy the last gift of love that we can give, and that's the gift of peace. Your beloved Little Joe isn't hurting anymore, and that's because you loved him enough to let him go.

My thoughts and prayers are with you during this very, very difficult time. If there is anything at all that I can do, please do not hesitate to ask me.

Love,

Denise

Just checking in. I find it difficult to write much still but wanted you to know I'm doing okay. I am so grateful that I was able to hold Joe on my chest and whisper to him what a good boy he was and that he was going home. I wanted his last feeling to be happy. Always when a vet visit was over I would say to him "let's go home!" and he would know what that meant.

He is 'home' in my heart. I will have his ashes next week.

We went for a little short walk the last morning, but he was so very tired. No excitement about going and he looked at me and wanted to come home after just a short time. The vet said it was the right time as he passed very quickly, he was just so tired that last day. He had been up all night with diarrhea and some vomiting, poor baby. Up until that last day, he loved his walks, his back legs had somehow healed and he really enjoyed walking right up to the end.

I am missing him every moment but doing "as well as could be expected". I thank you again for being here.

Lynda and Joe in my heart.

Lynda,

Thank you so much for letting us know how you're doing in. I know it must be so incredibly hard for you right now. You are so very right when you say you're precious Joe is still with you in your heart; as well as in your memories. And they are yours for the rest of your life.

Take care of yourself,
Cheryl xx

"I thought of you with love today but that is nothing new
I thought about you yesterday and days before that too,
I think of you in silence, I often speak your name
All I have are memories and your picture in a frame
Your memory is my keepsake, with which I’ll never part
God has you in His keeping ... I have you in my heart" -- Author Unknown

Hi, Lynda, "doing as well as can be expected" can be a challenge right now, for emotions are so unpredictable sometimes from one moment to another, one day to the next. Because of your unselfish love, your precious Joe is now healed and restored to his former youthfulness in the company of the angels - - no longer tired, no longer bound by the physical debilities of a failing physical body. I'm at an age now where I can sincerely appreciate that. The next time you see him, Lynda, he will be running to you, and I hope, in time, this image will bring a smile and encouragement to your heart.

Please know you are close in my thoughts and prayers, Lynda, and that each of us are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. Please let us know how you're doing, Lynda.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam