Hi everyone, I just lost my bunny, Seabiscuit, this Wednesday. His death was very sudden and I had spent all that day rushing around to different vets trying to find him help after he stopped eating. No one could help my little guy, and late that night he died in my arms. I still don't know why he died and am so frustrated that no one could help me. I've had him since I was in eighth grade and he was so special to me. I am moving to England next week and was supposed to be taking him with me. He was such a special bunny, always coming over to see me and always jumping up on my couch to say hello. He was eight years old but still acted like a little bunny. He was always running in circles around my room doing binkies and loved to get treats. He always had the most inquisitive look on his face. I've been through so much with him and he was always my best friend. When I was in college I moved out of my dorm after only two months to an apartment just so I could be with him. He was my baby and I can't remember life without him.

These past few days have been so hard for me. I was so looking forward to moving to England so I can be with my fiancé. I planned so much so that my bunny could come with me, I even planned to go to Helsinki and then Paris so that he could come on the plane with me and get into England without quarantine. Now I have to make that journey without him and it's killing me.

One of the hardest things for me to deal with is the fact that every minute I feel like I get farther away from him. The day after he died, I kept thinking that yesterday he was with me. Now it's Saturday and I'm thinking that it's been three days since I saw him. Tomorrow it will be four. And then it will be weeks, then months. I can't handle that. I don't want to go to sleep at night because I don't want it to be another day that I'm away from him.

This is my first pet that I've lost since I was eleven and it's breaking my heart.

Dear BiscuitsMommy

I am so sorry for the loss of your precious Seabiscuit, my heart goes out to you at this sad time. Words can't really help , I know , but please take comfort in the fact that your darling was in your arms and that being so sudden, hopefully he didn't endure too much suffering. I know it seems small consolation right now when the pain is so dreadful.
Remember that wherever you are Seabiscuit will be with you in your heart and soul, wanting whats best for his Mommy, and wanting you to be ok and thinking of him in 'happy' ways. Close you eyes and if you 're lucky like me and others on here you will see his face, quite clearly. I do this very often and I can still see my Tasha (who left me almost 5 years ago) and Noushka, this time last year. Just their faces, and it makes me feel their presence, and brings me comfort. If it doesn't work , try looking at a photo, of him first and the image stays there for some time when you close your eyes. This is something that I would like to share as I know it made, and still makes me feel that I am not losing their 'presence'. Whether we can see them this way or not, however, they are always with us.
You have exciting events happening very soon, and I hope that you will be very happy with your fiance in England(which is where I live). Try and keep busy with your plans, but also allow yourself to grieve in whatever way you need to. Your bunny baby has been with you through such very important times in your life, and will have helped to shape you and make you into the caring person that you are today. Please be kind to yourself and make sure your move to England is a Happy one, as Seabiscuit will want it to be.
Please let us know how you are, and maybe even post a picture of your darling Seabiscuit. We would love to see him, when you feel able of course.
Thinking of you and sending a 'HUG'
Love Jan and my Angels and Pixie xx

Hi, BiscuitsMom, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the loss of your beloved Seabiscuit. Losing a beloved companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we have been blessed with the privilege of their company. And losing one without knowing what caused the physical death is very hard.

BiscuitsMom, the physical loss of a beloved companion is one of the hardest experiences we will know on this side of eternity. Our beloved companions bring to us their unconditional love and undivided attention, and we in turn surrender ourselves to them completely, and this is one of the many reasons why the physical separation from them is so very painful - - both physically and emotionally. When our beloved companions join the angels it feels as though they have taken a part of us with them - - the part of us that belongs only to them - - and that is why it feels like there is such a huge void in our hearts without their sweet physical presence with us. You see, during their journey with us they gave us all of themselves for us to remember, and when they precede us to the angels, they take the part of us that belongs only to them with them so that they will have us with them in heaven's perfect garden until it is our appropriate time to join them in eternal joy.

I do so know what you mean about the hours, days, weeks, months, years going by and sometimes it does seem that as more time progresses the further away we get from them. But in my older years now I have come to realize that in reality their sweet Living Spirit is forever with us sharing with us in real time wherever we go and whatever we do. You see, BiscuitsMom, love is eternal - - it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. And the bond of love that we share with our beloved companions never dims in our hearts and memories - - even the mind dimming with age cannot separate us from the burning love that is in our hearts and memories for our beloved companions.

So, when you go to England, talk to your precious Seabiscuit - - for he is with you even now. Tell him all the things you see and do for he is with you sharing everything you do in real time. He no longer has to wait for you to come home to tell him all about your shopping spree or how things went during the day on the job, or the disagreement you had with your fiancee -- he's right there, and he's ALWAYS on YOUR side.

Oh BiscuitsMom, I do so know how hard this transition is going to be, for I have been through this, and am still going through this, since I lost the precious physical presence of both my handsome 15 year old Black Lab, Oslo, and my beautiful 6 year old baby kitty girl Abbygayle within 4 months of each other, Abbygayle joining the angels in March 2010. BUT, I know now - - at my age -- that it is their physical presence that I am missing. And that's very hard to deal with even now. When I was a very young girl my precious kitty companion Willie died Thanksgiving Day from blood poisoning, and I sitll miss him.

But hopefully as time goes on, BiscuitsMom, you will find, as I have found, that your heart and memories are filled with the precious memories of the time you shared together during Seabiscuit's physical journey with you, and the joy that you continue to share your life's journey with him even now for he is forever with you.

As Jan so appropriately said in her post, words are little comfort right now. There are no words that can take away the deep grief that is piercing your heart and soul right now. But it is important that you do find the time to allow yourself to physically grieve - - to cry and scream and rest - - so that your body and spirit can be cleansed from the chemical toxins that do build up in the body from the stress of grief.

I do so hope that your fiancee will be a source of great comfort to you when you join him. Perhaps in time you will find a way to do a memorial for your precious Seabiscuit - - a scrapbook, video / slideshow, garden - - whatever that will help you in your journey now.

And please know, BiscuitsMom, that we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. Each of us do understand what you're going through, and we are here to offer you support and encouragement and comfort. Please know we would so enjoy knowing more about your precious Seabuiscuit, and as Jan encouraged - - pictures of your precious bunny child.

BiscuitsMom, please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please do let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thank you both so much for your kind words. This weekend was really hard. As soon as I started feeling a bit better I would feel guilty that I was 'getting over it'. I think most of all I'm scared of forgetting him. It's going to be really hard packing up my other bunny to move to England. Picturing his face with my eyes closed does help. I think I'm going to make a stuffed animal urn when I get to England so I can at least feel like I can hold him again. Here is a picture of my little man with his bunny mate Chloé (he's the black and white one).
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Hi, BiscuitsMom, thank you so oo much for sharing your wonderful pictures of Seabiscuit and Chloe with us. What a handsome bunny man he is!!

I don't think the goal of this grief healing journey is to "get over" our beloved companions. I think the more appropriate goal is "adjusting" to the loss of the physical presence which is both physically and emotionally stressful, and is easier said than done. Clinical studies prove that the first year of adjusting to a loss of a beloved companion - - whatever the life form - - is very complicated, particularly for those who are in single human households and for the elderly - - because of the physical toll the grieving process takes on the body and spirit.

I am glad you still have Chloe with you. How is Chloe doing?

BiscuitsMom, I do hope that your and Chloe's travels will go smoothly. I know what was supposed to be such a joyous "new beginning" in your life feels empty without your precious Seabuiscuit, but remember that your precious Seabuisuit is forever with you, for his sweet Living Spirit is always a part of you in your heart and memories. And as he always wanted you to be happy during his earthly journey with you, he continues to want you to be happy now - - even now - - particularly now that is your precious Angel Bunny.

Well, I do know the chore that is facing you getting everything packed and labeled and ready for moving. That is a chore for sure. Please know we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us, BiscuitsMom, and will look eagerly forward to hearing from you when you get settled into your new home in jolly England.

Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, BiscuitsMom.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Dear BiscuitsMom

Thankyou so much for posting the photos of your Seabiscuit and his sibling bunny. What beautiful Bunnies they are. I know what you mean about thinking that you might forget Seabiscuit, but it won't happen, believe me. You have your wonderful memories and photos and his presence in your heart and soul. Right now it's so hard for you, but it will get better, but will take some time. I think the 'Cuddle Urn' is a wonderful idea.
I am pleased that you have another fur baby to bring with you to England. You will both be a great comfort to each other. Chloe must be missing her Bunny brother very much. I think lots of cuddles are called for.
I'm wondering if you are coming to my part of England. South East, 18 miles East of London. I am a Yorkshire girl though, originally.
Sending hugs.

Jan and my Angels and Pixie xx

Thanks guys so much your words have been so comforting to me. It's going to be such a hard move for me. All the anxieties I had over moving that I told myself would be okay with my bunny are now starting to creep up with me. Seabiscuit was going to be such a comfort, but now that he's gone I'm going to be facing them on my own. It's going to be hard to do this without him, I was so excited to take him to England.

I know I'll never forget about Seabiscuit, but I think I'll start to forget his physical presence. Right now I remember so vividly being with him and holding him and petting him. I can see him so clearly running around on my floor or dashing to his food bowl or jumping up on the couch to beg for treats. These memories aren't going to be as clear after a while, and I'm going to get used to not seeing him around.

Chloé's doing better than I thought she would be. She's never liked people very much, and we never developed a strong bond. Usually she's wary of me even petting her, which makes this so so hard. I want to comfort her but I can't. Her eating her pellets while eyeing me warily is such a harsh contrast to Seabiscuit. I love Chloé to pieces but she isn't my baby Biscuit.

Janika- I moving to Cornwall near Truro. It's so beautiful there and I love the country. I know it's going to be great once I've settled in.

Hi, BiscuitsMom, as Jan so eloquently said you will never forget your sweet Seabiscuit - - not even his sweet physical presence. You will be able to remember the softness of his fur and how sweet his cuddles were in your arms. Oh, I know "memories" are NOT the same as actually having the physical contact, but just close your eyes and think back in time and everything will come to you - - even the smell of his fur and his breath. I promise you NOTHING will be forgotten about your precious Seabiscuit, and hopefully in time you will come to know this is true.

I hope in time your bond with Chloe can strengthen and deepen. Isn't it amazing how different our relationships are with our furkids? Each of them have their own personalities and emotional needs. Now that you will be in a different place, perhaps Chloe will turn to you for comfort and reassurance. Remember she had Seabiscuit to depend on, and so she is going to need you now more than ever. It may just take some time.

BiscuitsMom, some folks find it helpful to write a journal of their memories with their beloved companion. Perhaps if you wrote down your memories of what Seabiscuit liked - - tummy rubs, whisker tickles, etc., you would be able to read through your journal when you think you might be "forgetting" him and this would help you to keep these memories "alive" for you. Perhaps this is something you could do while you're on the plane and / or waiting in the airport for your fliight to board, etc.. And don't be afraid - - or embarassed - - if you cry while you're doing this. These are good tears you are crying - - healing tears - - and hopefully someday when you read through your journel they will be HAPPY tears - - AND SMILES!!! Because this is what Seabiscuit wants for you - - he wants you to have HAPPY SMILES when you think of him, when you talk to him, when you share memories with him. He's always with you, BiscuitsMom - - with every heartbeat - - with every breath you take.

BiscuitsMom, please know you are in my thoughts and prayers. Again, I hope your and Chloe's travels go smoothly. It sounds like you are settling into a beautiful area of England. Just remember - - you are taking Seabiscuit with you - - for where you are he is also with you.

Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, BiscuitsMom, and please do let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi Moon Beam thanks again. It's been a week since he's died and it still feels like it was only yesterday. I printed out all the pictures I had of him and looked at them last night. It's so hard looking at his face but all the memories are still so clear in my head. Thank you for reassuring me that I'll never forget him. I think I am going to start a journal and write down all the things I remember about him. I know I'll never forget him.

I think that my relationship with Chloé has gotten better since he died. I feel bad about it, but I think I was always so preoccupied with Biscuit that I never really bonded with her. She lets me pet her a lot now, and I sit on the floor with her while she eats her dinner everyday. She was very mad at me for taking her to the vets yesterday, but we're on good terms now.

Unfortunately, I wasn't able to move yesterday. I had problems with my visa so I'm stuck here for at least a few more weeks. I feel so sad thinking that Biscuit's death was all for nothing. Now that we lost our plane tickets we're going to be flying in through Holland so that we don't need a vet certificate to get the buns in. That means no parasite treatment, which makes me feel like Biscuit died for no reason again. He didn't need the medication, and I wish I had the sense to go to Holland in the first place.

I know I've said this before but thank you so much Moon Beam and Janika for your kind words. You've helped me so much this week get through the death of my baby. I'm starting to feel a lot better now, and I thank you so much for helping me through it.

Hugs,
Biscuit's Mom

Hi, Biscuit's Mom, I can so relate to your bonding with Chloe now. My kitty son, Noah, is the sole survivor in a household that once had 4 furkids, two of them joining the angels within 4 months of each other, Noah's sibling sister, Abbygayle joined the angels in March 2010. Noah has always had the role of "caregiver", and having three other fur family members to tend to he really didn't feel the "need" to bond tightly with me, although we loved on each other frequently. But now that he is my "only child", he desperately needs to know that he is my "one and only" and we are truly enjoying the comfort and company of each other. He snuggles with me every night, and gives me lots of rubs and cuddles. He is a joy, my little Noah.

And I'm so o o o glad you are having the same experience with Chloe. This is so o oo important, and believe me --your Seabiscuit is very happy that you and Chloe have each other for comfort and companionship - - for Chloe is your "earthly connection" with him - - for Chloe was his housemate during his earthly journey with you.

I'm sorry that your travel plans have been messed up. I hope everything will get straightened out quickly so that you and Chloe can join your fiancee in England soon. Just try to remember that Seabiscuit is going with you - - for he is forever a part of you wherever you go and whatever you do. But I do know right now it's very painful adjusting to missing his physical presence. I'm glad you're starting a journal because that will help to keep your thoughts and memories of him close to you, and you can also write him love letters, poems, song lyrics - - whatever you want to put in that journal. May it bring much comfort and peace to your heart.

Biscuit's Mom, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Please know you're in my thoughts and prayers, and will look forward to hearing from you whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi,

I'm so sorry for the loss of your beautiful bunny. I lost my precious bunny, Daisy, almost 6 months ago now (see my thread "Just when I thought I was doing well..."). Trust me, you don't have to worry about forgetting. As I said, it's been 6 months for me, and I still remember every little thing about Daisy ... the way she felt, her smell, her little expressions. If you do start to worry about forgetting, just try to look at as many photographs/videos as you can. I use my thread on this forum to write little "letters" to Daisy, sometimes talking about memories I have of her - it helps me to feel connected to her still.

In terms of not knowing how he died - with regards to his age and quickly going off his food, I suspect it could have been due to bloat (gas in the stomach causing a blockage) Unfortunately, our little bunny friends have a very delicate digestive system, and any problems can quickly turn fatal. This is just a guess - I'm just trying to offer you some closure. However, it's important to try not to focus on the how and whys, and instead celebrate the wonderful life he had.

Would love to hear more stories about him if you're feeling upto it!

It DOES get easier with time, so hang in there.

Big hugs, Cheryl x

Hi. I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you sleep ok tonight. I lost a love a week ago too. My thoughts are with you.
-Di

Hi Biscuit's Mom, I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful bunny, he was such a handsome little boy and I know how much you must miss him. Very sad timing for you, with you making a major move and planning to take him with you, life has a way of taking it's own course, despite our plans to the contrary. You have my deepest sympathy, but please don't look at every day as taking him further away from you because he will always occupy his special place in your memory even when your life eventually moves on to happier times. I wish you peacefull sleep. xx


madi xx

Hello Biscuits Mom,

I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful bunny. I know how hard it is and my thoughts and prayers are with you during this painful journey. Our precious pets have blessed us with such great memories that will always remain in our hearts. Although they are not here physically they will always be with us in spirit. I send you many hugs during this hard time.

MommyluvsuLukas

Hi, BiscuitsMom, just checking in to see how you and Chloe are doing. How are things going with your move to England?

I know how one day just seems to blur into another day right now, and before you know it a week, a month - - and more has gone by and you wonder where all the time went. Just staying focused on what "has" to get done is a major challenge all by itself.

BiscuitsMom, please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and look forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam