This is sort of about a new beginning. One that might happen. But I am not sure where else to put this. Sorry if this is not the right place for this topic.

Not even two weeks ago, we lost our boy, Sammy. He was such a joy of a cat. He was only three years old, and had never been sick. In fact, he had just been at the vet the week before, and got a clean bill of health. The afternoon of the Sunday before last (Superbowl Sunday, actually) I came home from running an errand for about half an hour, and found him dead. I have no idea what happened to my poor little boy. He appeared perfectly fine when I left. I am still grief stricken, of course. But managing. Still, I look to see him every day when I come home, and of course he is not there. It's still just a shock. Anyway, long story slightly shorter, we have learned of an older cat who belonged to a lady who died a few months ago. Her family is preparing to sell her house, where her cat still lives. The daughter comes over a couple times a day, and feeds and plays with the cat. They would like a good home for him, and through friends, relatives, etc. we were put in touch with them. Tonight we met this cat. He's 8, and has clearly been through a lot. Very frightened of us, but I could tell he was a sweet boy. I'd love to take him, but I am so unsure about whether I am ready. How do you know if you are ready? How long is the "right" time to wait? I know I won't ever forget Sammy, but I wonder if this is rushing it. My partner is ready. He loved Sammy, but he is one of those people who is totally practical in all things: he loved the cat, the cat died, he misses the cat = solution: get a cat. I don't want to say no, but I don't want to feel like I'm trying to set aside my feelings for the sweet cat we just lost that I'm still working through. So...what do you all think?

Dear Sammysdad

Firstly let me say how sad I was to hear of the so sudden loss of your darling sweet Sammy. It must have been heartbreaking for you and I know you will be feeling very lost and empty without out him. Thats the best way I can describe my feelings still after almost 6 months since my last darling dog Noushka left me at 13 years of age. Our darlings will never be 'replaced' but I do think that doesn't mean that we can never love another fur baby, who needs our love and care. Sometimes I think 'fate' takes over and brings along a little someone who will be our 'saviour' at a time when both parties are so in need of help. You would have a dear kitty who needs a loving new home and daddy, and even though you will still be grieving I think the new kitty will help you through this dreadful time. I like to think that it's our angels (your dear Sammy) sending these signs for us, in order to help us through.

Be led by what your heart tells you to do. Never feel that you are diminishing how much your Sammy means to you. You obviously both shared so much love and he will always be with you in your heart and soul.

I 'm sorry I can't be of more help, but if it were me I would try to help this dear kitty who is going to need someone with lots of love to give. I do know how you feel though, as every time I start looking to rescue another dog, I first get excited and then think, but it's not going to be my Noushka or Tasha, and it's them that I want. Sadly that can't be, but knowing that they are forever with me in my heart, does help, especially with time.
Maybe your partner knows you so well that he thinks this is the right thing for you both to do. He probably hurts just the same but everyone deals with their emotion in different ways.
Please come back here and let us know how you are doing and what you decide to do.
Hugs
Jan and my Angels

Hey.... I lost my 3.5 year old Puck in January. It's terrible to lose one so young and unexpectedly. My Puck was alive and well, but within two days, he declined to the point that I had to let him go. I thought I would die too, that little boy had such a piece of my soul.
Listen to your heart. Just a week after I lost my little guy, I brought home a new one. I knew he needed me, and even though I wasn't sure I was ready for him, he really did help. And what better way to honor his memory than to give another kitty in need the life that he enjoyed so much? Puck's loss left such a hole in my life, and in Batman's life too. Clark was not real civilized when I got him. All he wanted to do was hide in the cabinet under my kitchen sink.
But within a week the little bugger had warmed up to me and was playing with Bats and getting tickles. He's part of the family now, even though I miss Puck every day.

Janika and PucksMom, thank you both for your replies. Both interesting perspectives, and I appreciate that you shared your experiences. I will let you know what happens.

What an awful thing to happen to Sammy, it would be devastating to come home and find him like that, it would be the last thing you would expect. You certainly have my sympathy, I know what it's like to lose a healthy much loved young cat. I suppose as far as getting another cat so soon after is up to the individual, Personally, I felt so bad after I lost Ulriich and I didn't replace him and I felt like hell, so I would take the cat, because it didn't help my grieving process by not getting another one. I find you are damned if you do and damned if you don't, you still go through the grief anyway, at least a dear cat gets a home if you take it. You will have to make your own mind up in the end and I hope all our views help you come to a decision. Hugs to you and your partner xx

madi xx

Well, this situation has resolved itself. In the end, a daughter of the original owner has decided to take the cat. So...what is meant to be will be. The truth is I had so many doubts about this cat, and about the situation in general, that I find it is sort of a relief. I am glad he will go to a good home, and we have some breathing room to find the right pet at the right time.

Madi, Janika, and PucksMom, thank you for your kind messages. I want to say how much I appreciate your messages of support, and please know that I share your pain over your losses of your cat and dog companions. Yes, it was an awful thing that day I found my little guy was gone. I relive it every day. On the one hand, I wonder what could possibly have happened, and on the other I am almost grateful I do not know. There was no sign of illness, no sign of injury or accident, and no sign of any sort of poisoning, etc. I have read that cats sometimes have heart conditions that cause basically instantaneous death without warning (as can we humans.) I suppose it must have been something like that. Obviously, I will never know. What I do know, and try to keep reminding myself of is that we gave him a good life, and a lot of love and affection, and he was a happy, happy little boy right up until that moment. I suppose it is one of those situations where all I can say is God's will be done, and have faith that Sammy is with God now. And I find that, despite the sadness of his loss, I am truly grateful for the time I got to spend with him.

Hi sammysdad, I'm glad we have managed to support you in some way, the pain of loss is something we share and understand all too well. I'm so glad the cat got a home, I can't stand seeing an animal without a home, ask my husband, he freaks every time anyone tells me about a homeless animal of any kind. I have three dogs and one cat and would take more if I could. Hugs and take care xx

madi xx