I am so sorry to hear about your kitty..Stripey. 4 years old. What an awful situation to happen. Sudden and shocking and unexpected.
You do need to cry but don't wonder about doing anything differently or doing the right things.
I am sure you did do the right things. You could not do something differently and prevent what happened. A blood clot can happen anywhere, at anytime, to people as well as pets. They can't be foreseen.
It is so hard when they are still so young..to believe something like this happens..and there is no answer to Why did this have to happen?
I am glad you have his little sister to be with you. These losses are so terribly hard and painful and the worst hurting ones are when they don't seem to make sense. It is bad enough when one knows their baby has a terminal disease but when something like this comes out of the blue, it just knocks one over.
You know you did the best you could for Stripey and that is all we can expect of ourselves.
We don't know when it is their time to leave us but I believe there is a time for them to go and when it comes we cannot foresee it or prevent it. We can only hope it is quick and peaceful for they deserve peace.
I have had a vet call me at 11 PM telling me one of my special ones passed and the reason was unknown and unexpected. It is different than when we have to make the decision to spare suffering and pain. But when you have enough of these babies throughout your life...when their time comes...there is more than one way for everything to happen. I agree with you that all are just as painful.
We really do all go through the same pain together and that is why there is so much understanding here. Words come from the heart where our own pain resides and if they help others..that helps us too.
I am glad you have been reading here and do realize you are not alone with your grief.
If you want to post pictures here of your boy and maybe his sister too..well, pictures have a way of allowing a smile to come out...because the picture is of a better time.
You can write about your thoughts and feelings if you want to. You can write a note to your boy telling him what you wished you could have said if you had a chance. You can tell some stories about what is special about him to you. Anything that makes you feel better to do or say..your words and thoughts are welcome here.
Hugs to you, to that special little sister, and to your new Angel, Stripey.
Judy