Hi everyone...this is my first time here, as i found this site by accident in a despirate search for some sort of help for my dying cat, Toby. I have read most of the post here which have made me cry so much. They are all so painfully beautiful and my heart goes out to each and everyone of you, i know am not alone in my hurt and pain. Today i had to do the most painful thing i ever had to do in my entire life, put my cat Tody to sleep as he was dying from kidney failure and cancer.

this is all i can write for now, as my heart is bleeding none stop.

I'm so very sorry you had to make that choice for your dear Toby. You did the right thing though. I know how much you are hurting right now, but Toby isn't hurting at all anymore. He is healthy and whole again. I had to make that same decision for my Alley in December and I still miss her so very much and think about her every day.

In time, you will be able to think about some of the happier memories you have of Toby, but don't try to force it, and don't try to hurry your grief. It takes as long as it takes. Toby was a special member of your family and you have every right to mourn him.

Just know that we are here for you, when you are ready to talk about him more. Know also, that you made the most loving decision you could ever make for Toby, to stop his pain and let him go, and he loves you for it.

Poor poor you, I see that losing Toby is hurting you so much. Here we all know too well the pain that you have to endure. I found it helped a lot to read everybody's stories and of course it made me cry, a lot, but then this was what I needed to do and it ws better for me to do so in front of my computer than out somewhere. Grief is something we have to go through, some of us are hit harder because we loved better. Stay with us, we will try to comfort you. Try to take good care of yourself and keep us posted.

I'm so sorry about Toby. I have yet to post about my dog who passed away a long time ago that I'm only now having a lot of difficulty with, but this is a very loving site, filled with very supportive and understanding people, and I'm glad you found it, too.

I think that if Toby could, he would let you know that he is fine and happy and will wait for you. Maybe he'll find a way to tell you that. I hope so. I know it hurts so much right now, though, and I'm thinking of you with all my heart.

Just know that you did the right thing, even though the right thing is the hardest thing in the world sometimes. Toby is grateful to you, I'm sure of it.

-- Michelle K. (Lucy's mom)

I'm so sorry you lost Toby. It hurts so much. It's hard to talk or write about it. It's been almost 6 months since our Moose kitty passed. I well remember how it felt to just want to sit and stare, in total shock. Can't eat, can't sleep, don't even feel like you can breathe.

It does get better, some, slowly. Take it day by day or minute by minute if you have to. Try to drink if you can't eat. I admire you can write anything today, I couldn't. You loved Toby enough to take on his pain. He is free from pain and happy, somewhere. Try to take some comfort in that.

Thinking of you and Toby