For those of you who are suffering the insensitivities of callous remarks and behaviour after the loss of your furbabies, I offer 2 webpage articles that may help:

Comments from Grievers from Teresa Wagner's website

Practical Do's and Don'ts from Teresa Wagner's website

These 2 webpages, along with the other one I posted a link to, "Pet Loss Myths", might be useful to send to those who either aren't sure how to help or who don't understand at all what our loss is like and could be better educated about this type of loss. It depends on what your situation and relationship with such people is like, but even if not passed along as a gentle hint, these help us to see that the depth of our losses is being recognized and validated by others in the bereavement field.

I just spent abut 2 hours reading the websites you have recommended, and the corresponding links. Thank you so much for sharing this. I share in the loss of your precious Furkidlet. What a cute name.....

It is overwhelming the quant*ity and quality of help and resources that are available on-line now for pet loss and grief. MoomBeam was 12 years old (just died Tuesday 11/14). My last loss was my yellow lab, Arley, 7 years ago, and there was nothing back then.

I immediately used two Pet Loss Hotlines I found that 1st night: University of Florida, and University of Iowa. Both excellent. I had no one to call that would understand. I have printed articles and have 2 books coming from the library. I don't yet have MoonBeam's remains: that will be another hurdle.

Thank you again. I am still at the guilt, sadness phase. I intend to participate in the Candle Ceremony Monday night, and have put MoonBeam on the list. I will light a candle for Furkidlet, too.

I am too overwhelmed to start my memorials and rituals, but ideas are beginning to enter my head. It really is true what I read and hear: each pet is different, and my behavior re MoonBeam's death is different from all the others; the cir%%stances were SO different. BUT - the feelings are the same: guilt, anger, sadness, emptiness, the if only....

Blessings,
MoonBeam's Mom

Moonbeam's Mom,

I'm glad the sites helped, and that you availed yourself of so much of them! I'm also sorry for your own losses, especially of your most recent loss of Moonbeam. (this was yet another nickname for my girl, Nissa, being silvery-grey in colour).

My kidlets' names are actually Nissa and Sabin ~ the Furkidlets t*itle is just a generic term for furkids that I use, as yes, it IS a cute 'label'....for ANY furkids!

I'll have to find out about changing the grammar I used there, as it SHOULD have been Furkidlets', not Furkidlet's...note the different use of the apostrophe - one is singular, the other is plural. Can't figure out yet how to change one's board name. So, thanks for including my 2 kids in the Candle-Lighting...so that will be for Nissa and Sabin then!

Take as much time as you like for coming up with ideas for rituals, etc. There's no rush as we can incorporate whatever we like, whenever we like, since we do this mostly for ourselves anyway. There's also no rush to get through the various feelings we have after a big loss, so give yourself plenty of leeway there, too.

I wish you strength and self-compassion in this difficult and sorrowful journey, and am only glad that what's available nowadays (and it's still only a start of what yet MIGHT be available to us all in the future!) is there to help you through it all.

Luv,
F.'s Mom