Death Of Dog, unbearable grief Options

[hems]

I've never felt this way before. Our beloved German Shepherd Hemi passed away Feb 15 2015. It's been 11 days and I feel like it happened yesterday. My husband and I had 2 shepherds before this so you would think that I would know how the grieving process goes and what to expect. But with Hemi it seems 10 times worse and I can't wrap my head around it. Our 1st GSD was 5 when she was hit by a drunk driver. She was not in the street...she was in our yard. Our 2nd GSD died of old age at 13. Hemi died from cancer that we didn't even know he had. He was 8 yrs old. It was so unexpected. It blindsided us. He didn't even show signs of the cancer. I feel like someone robbed me of the love of my life. He was more my dog than my husbands although he is just as devastated. We are those people that love animals more than humans (sad to say) we have no kids so we dedicate our lives to our animals. Hemi was such a good boy! Loved to play like a puppy even the day before he died. He was my whole life!! My husband keeps offering to get a new puppy but right now all I want is my Hemi home with me. I feel like I don't have any other love in my heart to give to another sweet deserving dog. I feel that I would be unfair to a new puppy right now. How do I get thru this? I feel like I can't go on without my Hemi!

[moon_beam]

Hi, hems, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Hemi. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Losing a companion unexpectedly intensifies the grief.

Hems, this grief journey is one of the most painful experiences you will know on this side of eternity. It is a journey that can only be traveled one day at a time sometimes one moment at a time for you are now on a journey that is filled with all the first withouts and the memories that can be all too painful right now that include this time yesterday, last week, last month, last year to endure. It is a journey that is filled with many different emotions that can overwhelm us all at one time which is why it is a journey that is frequently referred to as a horror roller coaster ride. It doesn't matter if it is our first grief journey or our thousandth - - each grief journey is uniquely painful because each relationship we have with each of our companions is uniquely individual - - they each have their own special place in our hearts.

Sadly, cancer is a very insidious illness that typically does not manifest symptoms until it has gained control of the physical body. Add to this the fact that our companions have an inherited genetic trait from their wild cousins that makes them mask how they are feeling until an illness / injury has begun to take its toll on their health, much to our dismay as their human caregivers / veterinary care providers. Even with all the medical check ups including blood tests cancer can remain hidden from diagnosis until end stage symptoms are manifested. I know this all too well from first hand experience.

Hemi, I truly wish there were an easier way to navigate this grief adjustment journey but unfortunately there are no fast forward or delete buttoms we can press to speed up the journey or make it automatically disappear. Please know we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.

Although you are now enduring the most painful adjustment to the physical absence of your beloved Hemi, there is one thing that will never change: the love bond you and your beloved Hemi share. Love is eternal - - it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. Your beloved Hemi's sweet Living Spirit continues to share your earthly journey as he always has and always will - - for he is always and forever a part of your heart and memories - - he is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.

Hems, thank you so very much for honoring us in sharing your beloved Hemi with us. Perhaps sometime you will feel up to sharing a picture of him with us - - but only when / if you want to. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, hems, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[LittleGirl's...]

Hems, I am so very sorry you are having to go through this journey!! There is nothing like this type of grief!!!

As moon_beam said, L ve is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. Hemi is still with you--but I know it is not the same to us, since we are still restricted to our bodies. He will never know physical OR emotional pain.

Please check back with us and let us know how you are doing. We are here.

WHEN you feel ready, Hemi will help guide you and your husband to another sweet animal who needs you and, in Hemi's honor.

Sending you prayers of peace and healing,

Kathy

[hems]

Hi, hems, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Hemi. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Losing a companion unexpectedly intensifies the grief.

Hems, this grief journey is one of the most painful experiences you will know on this side of eternity. It is a journey that can only be traveled one day at a time sometimes one moment at a time for you are now on a journey that is filled with all the first withouts and the memories that can be all too painful right now that include this time yesterday, last week, last month, last year to endure. It is a journey that is filled with many different emotions that can overwhelm us all at one time which is why it is a journey that is frequently referred to as a horror roller coaster ride. It doesn't matter if it is our first grief journey or our thousandth - - each grief journey is uniquely painful because each relationship we have with each of our companions is uniquely individual - - they each have their own special place in our hearts.

Sadly, cancer is a very insidious illness that typically does not manifest symptoms until it has gained control of the physical body. Add to this the fact that our companions have an inherited genetic trait from their wild cousins that makes them mask how they are feeling until an illness / injury has begun to take its toll on their health, much to our dismay as their human caregivers / veterinary care providers. Even with all the medical check ups including blood tests cancer can remain hidden from diagnosis until end stage symptoms are manifested. I know this all too well from first hand experience.

Hemi, I truly wish there were an easier way to navigate this grief adjustment journey but unfortunately there are no fast forward or delete buttoms we can press to speed up the journey or make it automatically disappear. Please know we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.

Although you are now enduring the most painful adjustment to the physical absence of your beloved Hemi, there is one thing that will never change: the love bond you and your beloved Hemi share. Love is eternal - - it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. Your beloved Hemi's sweet Living Spirit continues to share your earthly journey as he always has and always will - - for he is always and forever a part of your heart and memories - - he is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.

Hems, thank you so very much for honoring us in sharing your beloved Hemi with us. Perhaps sometime you will feel up to sharing a picture of him with us - - but only when / if you want to. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, hems, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Moon beam....thank you for your kind words and sympathy. It did help my heart a little. What you say is oh so true and I know in my heart that as the days go by it gets a little easier to bear. I will post from time to time and let you know how I'm doing. I know I'm going to have good and bad moments but I have to keep strong for the next little guy we let into our family!
Hems

[hems]

Hems, I am so very sorry you are having to go through this journey!! There is nothing like this type of grief!!!

As moon_beam said, L ve is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. Hemi is still with you--but I know it is not the same to us, since we are still restricted to our bodies. He will never know physical OR emotional pain.

Please check back with us and let us know how you are doing. We are here.

WHEN you feel ready, Hemi will help guide you and your husband to another sweet animal who needs you and, in Hemi's honor.

Sending you prayers of peace and healing,

Kathy

Hi Kathy
Thank you for your prayers and sympathetic ear. I was just telling my husband that Hemi will let us know when the time is right to welcome a new buddy to our family. We might be outside doing yard work when we see a little puppy or stray walk up our drive. Or I might go to the car wash to do a quick cleaning on my car and an adorable angel might come up to me begging to bring him home with me. Like you said we will know when the time is right. I just miss him so bad that my heart physically hurts. I see his face so clearly that I can't even focus on anything else. Just an hour ago I layed down behind the lazyboy where he liked to sleep just so I can smell him on the carpet. I was looking in the very corners of the dining room in search of his hair that the vacuum might not have picked up. Only someone who has lost a pet can truly understand what others may think sounds crazy. Yeah...I'm crazy...crazy in love with Hemi and I will never let him go from my heart. Thanks for listening.
Hems

[LittleGirl's...]

Hems,

I sure do understand--everything from seeing his precious face, to searching for his hair, his scent !!! There is nothing that can quite express the feelings of emptiness and desperation we feel as we navigate this type of grief!

And yes, you could be going about everyday things when your next sweet angel walks into your life and lets you know that s/he needs you. Whoever that is is going to be very lucky to have you. Hemi might be picking out that soul right now!

Prayers continuing,

Kathy

[moon_beam]

Hi, hems, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Love is eternal, hems - - it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. So indeed your beloved Hemi's sweet Living Spirit will always be with you in your heart and memories - - he will always be a heartbeat close to you.

Some people fear that if they embrace another companion that it will in some way diminish the love bond they share with a beloved companion who is with the angels. But I assure you, hems, this doesn't happen - - for each companion we have in our lives has their own special place in our hearts, and the love we share with each precious companion only expands our capacity to love. There is no doubt in my mind that your beloved Hemi is already guiding a sweet soul to you and your husband for that "just right" moment when you see him / her, and you will know beyond all shadow of a doubt that he / she is "the one" for you.

I hope today is treating you kindly, hems, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Hemi's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[hems]

Just an update....it's been exactly one month since my Hemi died and as predicted by Kathy and moon beam...the next little angel walked into our lives. Her name is Mandy and she's a lab/shepherd mix. She's a rescue...3 months old and full of energy!! She's so lovable and protective of us already and we've only had her for one week! I can go on and on about her but that's taking playtime away from her! Lol! She's got us wrapped around her little paw already! More in little bit!

[LittleGirl's...]

Awww hems! That is wonderful!!! Hemi had a paw in this, I bet !!

Can hardly wait to hear more (that is, when Mandy allows for it ).

Thanks for this heartwarming update!

Kathy