My Loss, Dasher Options

[dancer]

My 16 year old kitten passed 8/24/2014 I am so alone and at a loss without her in my world, not sure how to get through each quiet day

[moon_beam]

Hi, dancer, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Dasher. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. It doesn't matter if it's our first experience with grief or our thousandth - - the deep sorrow can feel so painful beyond comprehension.

Dancer, this grief journey is one of the most painful experiences you will know on this side of eternity. It is a journey filled with many different emotions that can overwhelm us all at one time - - it is a journey that is frequently referred to as a horror roller coaster ride. You ask the universal question when you share with us: "not sure how to get through each quiet day". Unfortunately, there is no easy way to navigate this grief adjustment journey. It is a journey that can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time, in your own way and in your own time - - for you are now on a journey that is filled with all the first withouts and the memories that can be all too painful right now that include this time yesterday, last week, last month, last year to endure. It is a journey that has no fast forward or delete buttons to press to speed up the process or to make it automatically disappear.

Please let me try to reassure you that what you are going through and experiencing is very normal deep grief - - very painful both emotionally and physically, yes - - still very normal. Some of us, including me, find it helpful to hold a toy, blanket, collar, picture - - something - - that belongs only to our beloved companions when the deep grief is so painful it is more than what our hearts can bear. No, it isn't the same thing as holding our beloved companions in our arms, but it does help to soothe the physical emptiness when our hearts and arms long to hold them just one more time.

In the depths of your sorrow, dancer, there is one thing that will never change - - the love bond you and your beloved Dasher share. Love is eternal - - it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. Your beloved Dasher's sweet Living Spirit continues to share your earthly journey as she always has and always will - - for she is always and forever a part of your heart and memories, dancer - - she is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.

I know all too well from first hand experience that when our hearts are entrenched in deep grief there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the searing pain of sorrow. Still I hope the words I share with you will offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey.

Thank you so much for honoring us in sharing your beloved Dasher with us. Perhaps sometime you will feel up to sharing a picture of her with us - - but only when / if you want to. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, dancer, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Princessmommy]

Dancer,

I'm so terribly sorry for your loss. Please accept my most sincere sympathy I can't even imagine how you must we feeling since its only been 2 days since you lost your beloved angel kitten. I hope you don't mind me asking what happen to him because it breaks my heart to read about kittens losing their life's so recent every single day. I also lost my baby girl princess 3 months ago on June 16, 2014 an I still cry and miss her so much. I been coming to this website since I register but sometimes I can't help missing a few days because I'm still feeling miserable. I now that my words can't be of much help but I just want you to know that I totally understand how you are feeling and hope that some day you will have peace and comfort take care

Hugs

~ Mayra

[dancer]

Hi, dancer, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Dasher. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. It doesn't matter if it's our first experience with grief or our thousandth - - the deep sorrow can feel so painful beyond comprehension.

Dancer, this grief journey is one of the most painful experiences you will know on this side of eternity. It is a journey filled with many different emotions that can overwhelm us all at one time - - it is a journey that is frequently referred to as a horror roller coaster ride. You ask the universal question when you share with us: "not sure how to get through each quiet day". Unfortunately, there is no easy way to navigate this grief adjustment journey. It is a journey that can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time, in your own way and in your own time - - for you are now on a journey that is filled with all the first withouts and the memories that can be all too painful right now that include this time yesterday, last week, last month, last year to endure. It is a journey that has no fast forward or delete buttons to press to speed up the process or to make it automatically disappear.

Please let me try to reassure you that what you are going through and experiencing is very normal deep grief - - very painful both emotionally and physically, yes - - still very normal. Some of us, including me, find it helpful to hold a toy, blanket, collar, picture - - something - - that belongs only to our beloved companions when the deep grief is so painful it is more than what our hearts can bear. No, it isn't the same thing as holding our beloved companions in our arms, but it does help to soothe the physical emptiness when our hearts and arms long to hold them just one more time.

In the depths of your sorrow, dancer, there is one thing that will never change - - the love bond you and your beloved Dasher share. Love is eternal - - it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. Your beloved Dasher's sweet Living Spirit continues to share your earthly journey as she always has and always will - - for she is always and forever a part of your heart and memories, dancer - - she is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.

I know all too well from first hand experience that when our hearts are entrenched in deep grief there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the searing pain of sorrow. Still I hope the words I share with you will offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey.

Thank you so much for honoring us in sharing your beloved Dasher with us. Perhaps sometime you will feel up to sharing a picture of her with us - - but only when / if you want to. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, dancer, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thank you moon beam for your most beautifully written words of kindness and sincerity. I find myself walking in circles not knowing what too do. Devastation is the only word I find to describe the loss in my world. I'm alone for the first time and scared. Dasher was what made my world go round.

[dancer]

Dancer,

I'm so terribly sorry for your loss. Please accept my most sincere sympathy I can't even imagine how you must we feeling since its only been 2 days since you lost your beloved angel kitten. I hope you don't mind me asking what happen to him because it breaks my heart to read about kittens losing their life's so recent every single day. I also lost my baby girl princess 3 months ago on June 16, 2014 an I still cry and miss her so much. I been coming to this website since I register but sometimes I can't help missing a few days because I'm still feeling miserable. I now that my words can't be of much help but I just want you to know that I totally understand how you are feeling and hope that some day you will have peace and comfort take care

Hugs

~ Mayra

Hi My Dasher was 16 years of age, age had a heart murmur, she was having seizures a few weeks ago so I know I was going to be making our time together ours and only ours. 5 years ago her friend Dancer passed on from kidney issues, Losing Dancer was and still is very painful today, but Dasher and I had each other too get through each day that passed by. Dasher was a very special cat, I had been going through chemo about 10 years ago Dasher sensed this and never left my side. I'm not sure if this makes sense but I hate leaving my home yet hate coming home to the emptiness inside................God help me

[dancer]

To you all that have responded too my Dashers passing on, My heart is so broken and truly alone, my world is a very sad place

[moon_beam]

Hi, dancer, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Please permit me try to reassure you that what you are feeling and experiencing is very normal deep grief when you share with us: " I hate leaving my home yet hate coming home to the emptiness inside. . . . My heart is so broken and truly alone, my world is a very sad place."

This grief journey, as you know, is both physical and emotional - - and with this comes the heart-wrenching adjustment to the physical absence of our beloved companions - - which not only includes adjusting to their physical absence but also includes adjusting to the deafening silence of our homes. Our companions make the structure of the house a home in every sense of the word, and when they are no longer physically with us our homes literally feel empty and barren - - a reflection of the empty, barren throbbing pain in our hearts.

I truly wish there were an easier way to navigate this grief adjustment journey, but unfortunately there are no fast forward or delete buttons we can press to speed up the process or make it automatically disappear. But I assure you, dancer, that you are not alone in your journey for each of us are here for you, with you, and beside you through every step of your journey, and we are here for as long and as often as you need us.

Thank you so much for sharing a picture of your beloved Dasher with us. She is so sweet. I hope today is treating you kindly, dancer, and that you will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Dasher's and Dancer's sweet Living Spirits to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, dancer, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[dancer]

Today, I'm breathing easier. my life is one moment at a time, my Doctor recommends getting another cat. I know I'm not ready at all for that. Mourning Dasher is necessary right now. She is priority still as well as I. I'm taking baby steps for today and each day that goes by without her here. How much I love this little creature I express daily.

[Vanaja11]

Its coming up to three weeks since my cat died and I still talk to him everyday. I have other cats but the house still feels empty. Its so hard to lose them.

[moon_beam]

Hi, dancer, thank you for sharing with us how you're doing. Sadly, most people think that immediately adopting another companion will "cure" the deep sorrow of grief. Although some people do find it comforting to adopt quickly after a beloved companion has transitioned home to the angels, they still have difficulty "bonding" with the new companion because their hearts are still grieving the physical absence of their previous companion. Only YOU, dancer, can decide when / if the time is "right" for you to embrace another precious companion into your heart and home. You are very wise to recognize that, for now, you need time to grieve for your beloved Dasher.

I hope today is treating you kindly, dancer, and that you will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Dasher's and Dancer's sweet Living Spirits to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, dancer, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Princessmommy]

Oh Dancer,

I'm so very sorry you are feeling so broken and alone. Trust me I understand more than you think because I'm feeling the same way you are at this very moment broken and alone. The reason I feel alone is because nobody in my family cares about my loss of my beloved kitten princess I cry every day and night and I have to be hiding my emotions from them because all they do is get tired of hearing me. Do you mind me asking why do you feel alone? do you have any family or close friends that are supportive to you in your loss. I sure don't that is the reason I try to come to this site to be able to receive some type of support I thank Moon beam and a few others that have been offering their kind words to help me feel a little bit better. And I hope that they offered you the same support I know that right now is hard to even make you feel better but I know that with the time both of us are going to get through this. I'm still hurting because its only been 3 months since I lost my first baby kitten and it does hurt because she was only able to be with me for like 6 months. At least you were able to spend and share wonderful moments with your dasher and also your dancer I see that both of them were very special to you. I'm so very sorry that you are still hurting but I know that with the support of one another we can help each other out I wish you peace and comfort take care.

Kindly regards,

~ Mayra (Princess Mommy)

[dancer]

Oh Dancer,

I'm so very sorry you are feeling so broken and alone. Trust me I understand more than you think because I'm feeling the same way you are at this very moment broken and alone. The reason I feel alone is because nobody in my family cares about my loss of my beloved kitten princess I cry every day and night and I have to be hiding my emotions from them because all they do is get tired of hearing me. Do you mind me asking why do you feel alone? do you have any family or close friends that are supportive to you in your loss. I sure don't that is the reason I try to come to this site to be able to receive some type of support I thank Moon beam and a few others that have been offering their kind words to help me feel a little bit better. And I hope that they offered you the same support I know that right now is hard to even make you feel better but I know that with the time both of us are going to get through this. I'm still hurting because its only been 3 months since I lost my first baby kitten and it does hurt because she was only able to be with me for like 6 months. At least you were able to spend and share wonderful moments with your dasher and also your dancer I see that both of them were very special to you. I'm so very sorry that you are still hurting but I know that with the support of one another we can help each other out I wish you peace and comfort take care.

Kindly regards,

~ Mayra (Princess Mommy)

Hi Mayra, My only family member is my brother in Arizona. I live in NH and have few friends. Most men take the loss of an animal/person as another day. I have no significant other. So the alone word is truly my reality. I'm sorry for your loss of your kitten, yes its true I had years with Dasher and Dancer but the loss for us both is huge, it also says a lot about the person grieving, we have a caring heart for all of God's large and small creatures. For now to I work a lot too get through a long quiet and lonely day . Thank you for your responding and your caring heart. Judith, Dasher and Dancer

[dancer]

Hi, dancer, thank you for sharing with us how you're doing. Sadly, most people think that immediately adopting another companion will "cure" the deep sorrow of grief. Although some people do find it comforting to adopt quickly after a beloved companion has transitioned home to the angels, they still have difficulty "bonding" with the new companion because their hearts are still grieving the physical absence of their previous companion. Only YOU, dancer, can decide when / if the time is "right" for you to embrace another precious companion into your heart and home. You are very wise to recognize that, for now, you need time to grieve for your beloved Dasher.

I hope today is treating you kindly, dancer, and that you will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Dasher's and Dancer's sweet Living Spirits to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, dancer, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hello Moonbeam, The tragic loss will be with me forever. At this time I never want too feel the way I am ever again. Baby steps for now. I visit Dasher and Dancers grave often a few times each day. I bought my home after going through chemo and radiation, for the 3 of us too have a place of our own too be laid too rest. This day has come for both Dasher and Dancer, a day I didn't believe would come so soon. Facing reality in my life is difficult. I am working every day possible too not stop and think/feel, its the only way for me today too survive. Life has changed as planned for me, I just never thought I'd be alone in my world.. Thank you moonbeam I feel your heart and kindness and look forward too your emails Judith Dasher and Dancer

[moon_beam]

Hi, Judith, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Indeed, our companions become the center of our universe during their earthly journey with us, and when they see us through a crisis - - such as your Dasher and Dancer were with you during your medical crisis - - they become even more a integral, and intimate, part of our hearts and lives. So please let me try to reassure you that what you are feeling is very normal deep grief for your beloved Dasher and Dancer.

Judith, I feel your heart's pain when you share with us: "Life has changed as planned for me, I just never thought I'd be alone in my world." I, too, am the only human resident in this home, and am dreading the moment in time when my precious Noah will no longer be physically with me, for at my age and with physical challenges I know I would not be able to properly care for another precious companion after Noah is no longer physically with me. When our hearts are grieving it is very normal to feel isolated and alone even when there may be other people, and precious companions, around us. As Mayra so comfortingly shares with you, I truly hope and pray there will come a time when your heart will know you are not alone - - for although we are not geographically close to you we are here with you to help you through your very deep sorrow, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Judith, and that you will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Dasher's and Dancer's sweet Living Spirits to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Judith, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Princessmommy]

Oh Judith,

I know the feeling of being alone an nobody caring for our loss so that means we have to be grief alone without the support of anyone else. Im the same way everyone seems to only care about themselves an dont take into consideration of how Im feeling. But dont worry if you dont have the support in the outside sometimes they dont understand because they never been pet lovers before. Only pet lovers like us are able to understand you an support you if you need it. But remember you are not alone in your grief Im right here next to you, you are always welcome to come back here as much as you need it. I guranteed you theirs always going to be someone in here who is whiling to lend you a ear just to listen to you.if you ever need someone to talk to just email me anytime ok. Hope you have a wonderful weekend an take care of yourself.

~ Mayra

[dancer]

Oh Judith,

I know the feeling of being alone an nobody caring for our loss so that means we have to be grief alone without the support of anyone else. Im the same way everyone seems to only care about themselves an dont take into consideration of how Im feeling. But dont worry if you dont have the support in the outside sometimes they dont understand because they never been pet lovers before. Only pet lovers like us are able to understand you an support you if you need it. But remember you are not alone in your grief Im right here next to you, you are always welcome to come back here as much as you need it. I guranteed you theirs always going to be someone in here who is whiling to lend you a ear just to listen to you.if you ever need someone to talk to just email me anytime ok. Hope you have a wonderful weekend an take care of yourself.

~ Mayra

Each day that goes by without Dasher I pray I did right by her. Not eating for 4 days I felt she is suffering. My living room became her room, food, water, and her littler box all close by her. Suffering was my biggest fear for her, her physical actions showed me what too do. Coming home is still difficult for me I still look for her. My home is still kitty decorated bed every where toys in her basket. In time I'll do what's necessary. Again baby steps. That you Judth

[dancer]

Hi, Judith, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Indeed, our companions become the center of our universe during their earthly journey with us, and when they see us through a crisis - - such as your Dasher and Dancer were with you during your medical crisis - - they become even more a integral, and intimate, part of our hearts and lives. So please let me try to reassure you that what you are feeling is very normal deep grief for your beloved Dasher and Dancer.

Judith, I feel your heart's pain when you share with us: "Life has changed as planned for me, I just never thought I'd be alone in my world." I, too, am the only human resident in this home, and am dreading the moment in time when my precious Noah will no longer be physically with me, for at my age and with physical challenges I know I would not be able to properly care for another precious companion after Noah is no longer physically with me. When our hearts are grieving it is very normal to feel isolated and alone even when there may be other people, and precious companions, around us. As Mayra so comfortingly shares with you, I truly hope and pray there will come a time when your heart will know you are not alone - - for although we are not geographically close to you we are here with you to help you through your very deep sorrow, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Judith, and that you will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Dasher's and Dancer's sweet Living Spirits to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Judith, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thank you moon beam for your words of comfort. Alone is so sad. Someday I know I'll smile again and will feel the guilt as well. Your words and Mayra do help each day that passes by.. Thank you Judith

[moon_beam]

Hi, Judith, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Just want you to know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Dasher's and Dancer's sweet Living Spirits to comfort you, and that we look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[dancer]

Hi, Judith, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Just want you to know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Dasher's and Dancer's sweet Living Spirits to comfort you, and that we look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thank you moon beam my loss is still within deep inside of my heart. I'm sleeping better, eating is increasing my heart is still beating just very sad. I'm coming slowly too terms with what I did for Dasher. Getting another pet is absolutely out of the question for now. I never want to go through this pain again. My home is still covered with Dancers beds and toys. So baby steps are still in my world.. Thank you so much for your words of comfort your support I grateful for.. Judith

[Monique]

I'm so very sorry for your loss. I found this site after losing MacKenzie 11 July 2014. Unfortunately, loss is a very big part of my life due to my participation in animal rescue. I feel empathically your loneliness. Losing Mackenzie really accentuated how very few true friends I have. I still have a house full of peeps, yet human companionship and interacting with my own kind just seems intuitive and natural. So, to find that so many just do not understand or are not available or don't want to hear about it anymore is heart shattering. Finding a way to go on...

Directly after a loss is so terribly painful. To find the will to go on is a monumental task. Like you, I want to be home and then I don't. Reminders everywhere.

There is no timeline to demarcate when grief, or a stage thereof, is finished. I find myself going back and forth between the different stages. Sometimes, I just get stuck. I do know how important it is to not ignore your feelings. Suppressing only makes the grief last longer. I personally have never gotten to the point where I can just think of the happy times. The last moment of a beloved companion's life is always a part of my thoughts. It does get easier over time and I have experienced that love never dies. When the time is right, you will allow the door to new love to open. Until then, don't worry. Give honor to the life and passing of your loved one through your tears.

I hope that in time your journey to healing will involved peace and harmony in your heart and soul.