My Dog Is Dying... Options

[Jeannie]

okay, I am new to this site, and over a week ago, I was told that my 9 year old lab/rot mix dog has lyphoscarcoma. They gave him a month to live. I'm absolutely devastated. I really need some support. I don't know how I'm going to handle this, let alone explain it to my 6 year old daughter. He IS a part of our family. We've had him since he was 7 weeks old, and I honestly don't know how to let him go. He's not in pain right now. Thank God. He has had a few accidents with urine the last 2 days, and I know he feels bad about it. Poor guy. I adore him and love him so much. This is my FIRST dog, and this is beyond painful. Can someone help me how to deal with this?

[Juturna]

Dear Jeannie,

Learning that our canine companions are terminally ill is always heartbreaking. There is little in life that prepares us for such devistating news about our precious babies.

With my last 3 dogs I was told they had a potentially terminal condition and with my precious Aurara we knew she was down to her final 2 weeks with cancer. I made sure that I spent every minute I could with her, and with vet support tried to keep her as comfortable as possible. Praying, loving, feeling, and talking with friends also helped. I trust that you will find much support and understanding on this web site. I'm glad you are sharing with us.

Please continue to let us know how you are doing and tell us more about your precious boy if you feel comfortable.
With peace and prayers,
Juturna

[MargieJane]

Dear Jeannie

My heart goes out to you and you and your family. I agree with Juturna about spending time with him. My 14 year old border collie was diagnosed with aggressive cancer in his maxillary sinus on 3 December and for the next four weeks, I spent as much time with him as I could, I made sure he had medication to minimize suffering, and I made sure he was comfortable. Like your boy he had a couple of accidents early on but once I found out this was common because the steroids made him wee more often, I made sure it didn't happen again .....nothing prepared me for the devastation I felt when he died though.... But since then I have often smiled when I think of our final weeks together - we had so many special moments going to all his favorite places and doing his favorite things. Even on his last day we spent the day with his head in my lap keeping him calm and peaceful. This did ease the guilt many pet owners feel because I know there was nothing more I could possibly have done. I do not have children but my dog was much loved by many young children ..... They all spent time with him in December and they asked lots of questions about his death. I found their honest innocence and questions refreshing. I hope your daughter is able cope the way they have - I was very honest with them and have enjoyed the fact they still talk about my dog when they see me or speak on the phone. Because of them I will be having a party on my dog's birthday ..... two of them thought it would be good to remember him (they are only 5&7).

Please let us know how you are going. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Margie

[Poppy's Mom]

Dear Jeannie,

I know it is heart wrenching to know and see that your beloved pet has a very short time with you and your daughter. It is not easy, I know, because I went through the same thing. I knew my beloved Poppy was going to be with me a very short time. I didn't know that the one day I would wake up and would have to put him down. He was in so much pain that I could not bear it. But I do have comfort in knowing that I gave him all the love and care I could possibly give him. There will always be a little bit of guilt but that is normal. One thing I did when he was first diagnosed with the cancer was to adopt another pet from the humane society. I adopted my second one just so he would have another little companion when I went to work and not be alone, well it ended up that the second little dog was more of a comfort to me because it took my mind off of my Poppy and at the same time gave Poppy companionship. When Poppy passed on to doggie heaven, the second one grieved but we were both there for each other.

I'm not saying to go and get another pet, I'm just saying that that is what I did when I was obsessing with the thought of losing my Poppy. I am still grieving for my Poppy, since it's only been 3 weeks and I have good days and bad days, but I know that this is the process we must go through when we lose a member of our family. Poppy was not my first pet and I knew what I was heading for. You will grieve as you would a human loved one but if you talk about it with others who know what it means to lose a loving pet, it will help you tremendously. Stay in touch with us here. It will help you.

Hugs to you, my heart goes out to you.

[JoanneL]

It is so hard to know what to say to you. I have been through the terminal stages of an animal companion's life 3 times. The last one was my 20 year old cat about 5 years ago. I know I cried for days when I realized he was nearing the end of his life. We finally made the decision to have him euthanized when he was too uncomfortable to move around, eat and use the litter box. We went to the vet where they wrapped him in a small blanket. I was able to hold him while they administered the medication that would stop his suffering. I spoke to him and told him how much I loved him as he took his last, very peaceful, breaths.

I am able to go back to the vet and even be in the same room with my dog (dogs until 4 weeks ago). I felt good that at the end I was with him and was able to make the decision to let him go to heaven when it was his time.
I wish the same for you. It is so hard to anticipate losing a loved one. This time I did not have that chance as my young dog was killed in an accident. Enjoy the time left and love him. Say all the things you want to say now. Just know that you are doing everything you possibly can for your dog. I always suggest Charlotte's Web-video or book to help young children deal with death. It may help you and your daughter to share this story together and talk about it.

I hope you will be able to continue to share with us as you move through the final days of your dog's life and after his death. There are so many caring, compassionate people here to help you.

[moon_beam]

Hi, Jeannie, please permit me to add my sincerest sympathies in this time of Anticipatory Grief for your beloved companion. Anticipatory Grief is very hard because we know our earthly journey with our companions is coming to an end, but our hearts still cling to the hope that "where there's life there's hope" that some miracle could happen that would heal our precious companion so that they could stay with us. It doesn't matter if it's our first experience of loss, or our fifth, tenth, - - or fiftieth - - losing the physical presence of our beloved companions is both emotionally and physically painful.

Juturna, MargiJane, Poppy'sMom, and Joanne have offered you the most compassionate advice at this time. The only other thing I would mention is that clinical professionals recognize that children grieve differently from adults, so you may find it helpful to research some of the articles and books that may help you talk to your daughter about your beloved companion's journey to the angels.

Please know you are not alone in your journey, Jeannie. Each of us here do understand what you are going through, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. Please know you and your daughter are in my thoughts and prayers, Jeannie, and please do let us know how things are going whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[fcbruno]

Hi Jeannie

Please just take it easy and give your beloved canine friend more care and attention than they could ever believe possible.

Please keep us updated and we will listen.

Take care


Peter

[sl1229]

Hey Jeannie,

I'm so sorry for everything. I recently lost my dog as well. It's so painful. All I can say is that take the month to share as much time with him. That's the one thing I regret. My baby just was gone one day. So spend as much time with him as you possibly can. Take pictures! Do everything with him. Pet him as much as you can; kiss him, hug him. We're all here for ya! Update us when you can!

Sam

okay, I am new to this site, and over a week ago, I was told that my 9 year old lab/rot mix dog has lyphoscarcoma. They gave him a month to live. I'm absolutely devastated. I really need some support. I don't know how I'm going to handle this, let alone explain it to my 6 year old daughter. He IS a part of our family. We've had him since he was 7 weeks old, and I honestly don't know how to let him go. He's not in pain right now. Thank God. He has had a few accidents with urine the last 2 days, and I know he feels bad about it. Poor guy. I adore him and love him so much. This is my FIRST dog, and this is beyond painful. Can someone help me how to deal with this?