I Feel Guilty, guilt that my cat is sick and i can't afford to fix her Options

[mckathy6683]

i found out last october that my cat kiki la la has cancer in both ear c&%^s. one vet told me to put her to sleep or that she needed total ear c&%^ ablation. the second vet said the same. the third vet agreed but said he would remove the main mass in her one ear to stop the ear infections but that she would of course still have cancer. the surgery for the TECA was about 2,000 dollars per ear. i can't afford that. i opted to go with surgery to remove the mass for 800. i feel terrible that i can't do that surgery for her. i love her dearly and i'm pretty certain she's the best cat in the world. the vet said there's no way to be certain how much time she has. i'm having a hard time dealing with this. she's the sweetest creature i wish there was something i could do. i'm worried that i won't know when it's time to let her go. any advice? i feel that when the time comes that i should be with her but i'm not sure i can watch her die, i'm also not sure if i can deal with the guilt if i let her go through that alone. any thoughts or suggestions would be appreciated. i'm at a loss. she's my baby. i'm trying to just enjoy the time i have left with her but it's hard.

[Flossie's Mom]

This is a tough one to answer as each of us can only know what we feel under certain circumstances or what we THINK we would do. I think no one really knows for sure what they would do.

All I can tell you is what has hapened to me in past situations. I never thought I'd be able to be present to have any of my pets put to sleep. I always made my husband do that. But he told me that it was actually an experience he did not expect to feel so calming to him when one of our older dogs' time had come. So I went with the next cat and stayed with him and I had to agree. It was peaceful though I was very upset of course. Then I waited too long for the next cat and she died on my lap just 1 block from the vet's office and it was very, very disturbing for me for a very long time. So I vowed to not wait too long from then on. Our daughter's cat really struggled near the end with her cancer also.

I struggled for about a month with my dog when she was failing and took a week to call for the appointment once I'd decided I needed to let go. I had her for over 17 years and she was THE soulmate of my life. I'd been there for her through many medical issues and she was a trooper till the end. I couldn't not be there for her.

It is an awful feeling to know you cannot afford to do everything possible for your pets. But they know you do WHAT you can and that you love them just as much as if you were a millionaire. They understand and love you unconditionally. You know your cat well enough to tell when her quality of life has gone downhill enough to pick the right time to let go. It's difficult to be there but at the same time it is difficult to NOT be there so they feel your love and presence.

Only you can make that final decision. For me, I will be with my pets unless I am not available to do so and I hope I always have the insight to know when the time is right. I am so sorry for what you are going through right now. It is so hard to love something so much and have to deal with such difficult decisions for them when they cannot communicate to us how they feel.

Keep us updated and come on here as often as you need for support. We all understand and we each need the support that is so readily available on this forum.

Ginger

[kurt_t]

I'm just reading this now. This is somewhat similar to my experience. I think my cat had cancer, but I'm still not sure. She became very ill, and I made the decision to euthanize her because I thought that at that point the decision was between putting her through a lot of painful procedures that probably wouldn't have accomplished anything or just letting her go peacefully. I brought in a mobile vet who euthanized her at home right there on her favorite spot on the bed by the window. It was hard for me. It's still hard for me to think about it, but I honestly think it was the best outcome for her.

I think when it comes to cancer in our pets, there just aren't a lot of options for us. We can't treat cancer in pets the way we treat cancer in humans. It just doesn't work. For one thing, a human can make decisions about what kind of treatment to opt for, when to treat aggressively, when to move on to pain management, what kind of pain management. Our pets can't make those decisions.

As hard as it is to accept, and it's hard for me to accept even now, sometimes the best thing we can do for our pets when they become so gravely ill is to give them a peaceful, painless way to leave this world.

[mckathy6683]

thanks to both of you for replying. i truly appreciate it. i noticed today that my cat has an ear infection. this scares me since an ear infection was the reason i took her to the vet when they originally found the cancer. i'm really hoping that it has not got worse. i'm taking her to the vet in the morning. i'm so worried about what i'll hear. i hope when i find out what's going on i can make the best decision for her even though i'm really not ready to let her go. i feel just awful.

[mckathy6683]

i took lala to the vet today and it turns out she doesn't have an ear infection. she scratched her ear open and got something in it that got it infected. the wonderful vet also said that her ear c&%^s look great!! the mass he removed has not come back!(which was my fear) she received a cortizone shot to help with itching and i'm putting the dreaded e collar on her while i'm at work, but all in all it was pretty good news!! i'm a happy girl today!

[mmh27]

Well, that is WONDERFUL news!!! I bet your on cloud 9 right now! I'm so happy for you and LaLa. =) Shes a lucky kitty cat to have you! ( and vice versa )

[Rex's Mamma]

Just wanted to say congratulations on the good news!!

[Cheryl83]

Awww xx

[wchamilton]

I had to have my cat Opal put to sleep in 2007 when she went into liver failure. One thing to remember is you can't explain to a cat or dog why you're doing something to them that may cause them pain or discomfort. All they know is they're being subjected to pain and discomfort, most likely at the hands of someone they don't know.

Rather than worry about the fact you can't afford the surgery, consider what having the surgery would mean to KiKi La La. Pain, discomfort and no idea why. I honestly think in situations like that it's a kindness to take them in your arms, pet them and tell them how much you love them while they slip away.

But, in reading your other posts, it seems this isn't a decision you're going to have to make any time soon. Give Kiki La La some belly rubs for me and I'm so glad things are working out for you.

[mckathy6683]

thanks everyone!!! she's doing very well now!!! i appreciate all your kind words!!