I Loved My Sissy Cat Options

[sissycat]

I am so glad I found this site. I have cried and cried over the loss of my best friend---Sissy Cat.
I had her for 2 years and 5 days. Her mother was a stray and she had a litter of 3 kittens all girls. Well I had to keep all 4 of them. All were fixed. So have had her family a while. But this one became my really good friend. How long does it take for the pain to go away. Right now it doesn't seem like it ever will. It has only been a few days. (June 5, 2008)
It doesn't help that I partially blame myself for her death. I usually let all the cats outside for a bit at 6 a.m. and let them back in before going to work. This perticular morning my husband herd a cat meowing and thought I had left one outside. I got up to look and it was a stray at my window. It was 4 a.m. and of course they thought it was time to go outside. I let them out early and they were outside for a longer time. I went out to find my precious Sissy had been hit by a car. She had made it back to my driveway and one of the other cats was setting by her side. I was devastated. All kinds of what ifs and whys and could haves and should haves still run through my head.
I miss her terribly!!!!!! She had slept in my bed everynight for almost two years. She would meow at the food bowl even if there was food in it. All she wanted was a few fresh peices droped on top and she would eat. She would only drink out of a cup on the bathroom sink. She would lick my hand when we went to bed at night to let me know she cared. She would be in my lap when it stormed because she was scared.
Maybe I get too attached to my pets. Sissy especially. I loved her so Much!!!!!! I have made pictures of her to put on my computer desk and home and at my work.
I catch myself talking to her at her grave side and sometimes when I look at her pictures. Am I crazy? Does anyone else do these things. I even went and brushed up her fur off the end of my bed and put it in a baggy. I planted purple mums on her grave today and placed a little cross with her name on it there.
I still have 4 cats, but we are not close like me and Sissy were. I am heart broken how do I heal. Will my crying ever stop? I just don't know how i will ever be right again. I can't eat very much cause my stomache stays in knots and I am not sleeping very well. Thank You for listening to my story of Sissy Cat..
SISSY I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[myhrtisbrkn]

I'm so sorry for the loss of your precious one. There's no substitute for the warmth of that little one, who loves you absolutely, next to you in bed.

I think most of us, no matter the cause of our babies death, tend to ask ourselves if could have or should have done something else, or something different. We
can't carry them around on a pillow 24/7, or watch them every minute. All we can so is take reasonable precautions for their safety, and pray that will be sufficient...I know that comes as very cold comfort.

Again, I'm so sorry. I've found a lot of solace in this forum. I hope we can be of some help to you.
Love to you and your remaining kitties,
Dayna

[misskittymc]

I am so sorry about the tragic loss of your dear Sissy Cat, your story brought tears to my eyes. My Ginger left me on the same day 6/5... only I had to put her to sleep because she was sick with kidney failure and continued to rapidly deteriorate. I know it will take a long time to heal, but writing about your pain and reading other people's stories definitely brings some comfort. I find great comfort in knowing that other people out there care about their furbabies like I do, and they miss the departed ones as much as I miss my Ginger. There's definitely nothing wrong with talking to her, I do it as well, and I'm sure other people in this site do it too. I can't bring myself to wash my sheets, she used to sleep on my bed every night and her fur is all over. I wear her collar as a bracelet... I see her in everything around the house... It's completely natural to miss someone who has brought you so much joy and who has given you so much love, especially when you have lost them in such an unexpected, tragic way. My heart goes out to you.

It is also natural to blame yourself, guilt is part of the grieving process. Don't let anyone rush you, you will heal in due time. We are all here for you and we all share your pain. Read my post "Rainbow Bridge." I hope it will bring you some comfort. XOXO.

[goliath]

She had slept in my bed everynight for almost two years. She would meow at the food bowl even if there was food in it. All she wanted was a few fresh peices droped on top and she would eat. She would only drink out of a cup on the bathroom sink. She would lick my hand when we went to bed at night to let me know she cared. She would be in my lap when it stormed because she was scared.

I am so sorry about Sissy's unexpected death. No doubt you were completely devastated. You had no way of knowing what would happen to Sissy. The meowing your husband heard could have easily been one of yours, so you HAD to go check as any good parent would do. Each one of us here have asked ourselves and sought within for something we did wrong. You did the very best you possibly could have done just like any one of would have.

I can relate to all you said about Sissy's habits and personality. Especially storms and bedtime. My Goliath panicked when he sensed a storm. Nobody ever got any sleep in our home until the storm had passed. It is still at bedtime that I miss Goliath the very most.

May the love you and Sissy shared together remain in your heart forever.

[sadieavc]

I am so sorry for your loss, I just lost my dog of 10 years a few days ago, so I am right there with you - and you are not crazy! I got in my car today, and there was some of my dogs hair on the seat next to me, from her last trip to the vet, I started crying and touching the hairs, like she was there, at least in spirit anyway. ((hugs))

[sissycat]

i JUST WANT TO SAY THANK YOU TO EVERYONE. You don't know how much you help. To know other people are going through or have gone through the same thing.

[oliver's mama]

I catch myself talking to her at her grave side and sometimes when I look at her pictures. Am I crazy? Does anyone else do these things. I even went and brushed up her fur off the end of my bed and put it in a baggy.

I sincerely hope you aren't, because that would make me pretty wacky. I talk to my Oliver all the time, mostly I cry and tell him how much I miss and love him. Two days ago, I brought out his urn from my bedroom and placed it on the couch where he sat and when I left, I wrapped a t-shirt around it. We all do things like this in grief, I still haven't vacuumed up his fur and he passed away on May 6.

How long does it take for the pain to go away. Right now it doesn't seem like it ever will. It has only been a few days.

I suppose healing time is different, even for the same person depending on life and the bond. I lost my 2 year old Pumpkin 10 years ago to FLV. The devastation I felt lasted about a month but it was so awful it could not possibly sustain itself. I had never lost anyone, pet or otherwise, super close to me before him, so that was a first. Deep down, I knew when I discovered his illness as a kitten that I would lose him someday to it but I didn't want to accept it. This time, I had Oliver 10 years longer and his passing came out of the blue, on Friday he was fine, by Tuesday morning he was gone. I wish I could be of more comfort on here regarding the future like some others. For me it has been 5 weeks and while the raw fresh agony has subsided and I understand he's gone (although some moments I still can't believe it), the vast ache of missing someone so loving and loved is constant. I too fear it will always be with me. Visit here often, and hugs and peace to you in your time of grief, myself and many others are right there with you.

Oliver's mama (Sarah)

[sissycat]

I am so sorry about Pumpkin and Oliver. I couldn't believe how much the face of your kitty looks like my Sissy Cat. The same color and the marking is almost identacle. I will get her picture up when my daughter has time to do it for me. Thank You for you comforting words.

[sissycat]

In the morning will be one week since my Sissy Cat has gone to a better place. The empytiness and lonelyness and pain are still here. I look at her picture and now sometimes i can smile instead of crying everytime. The last 2 years with her were great. She was so spoiled. My husband said I gave her better treatment than him.
I keep finding little things she did that I remember. Today I remembered about us playing hide and seek and chase. I would hide behind the couch and she would run around or over the top to find me. I would jump up and she would run wanting me to chase her. Gosh I miss her so much. It is SO hard to know that all these things we can never do together again. I want this ache in my heart to go away. Will it ever. I know she is waiting for me. Thanks to misskittymc and her post about the RAINBOW BRIDGE. Everyone should read this post!!!


SISSY CAT I LOVE AND MISS YOU SO SO SO VERY MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[LoveThem]

It is a good thing for you to post happy stories about your baby. That is how we heal to the point the pain is not overwhelming anymore.
So keep telling stories here of anything you remember that makes you smile and then reread your stories when you come here so you can smile some more.

I am so very sorry for your loss but I am glad you still have your other babies. Little Guy was my last of 3 siblings and an empty home was too much to bear so I adopted a shelter cat from my SPCA in December. He is the distraction I needed to start living more normally each day.

The pain and sadness and missing them will always be a part of us. It is how we handle that ...that leads to healing. It has helped me to know that I feel I cannot change what happened to my special ones..when it is their time to leave...no one can stop that. But I remember one mom here saying: The pain of losing her will never ever be greater than the joy of knowing her. I totally agree and that is why I understand how important it is to healing...to make the effort to push out the sad thoughts and replace them each time with a good memory until over time, it is not an effort anymore...it becomes more automatic and easier to do.

Your loss is too recent not to feel as you do..this is when the pain is at its worst because everything is so fresh. Your other girls can help you if you let them...hold them and hug them and talk about Sissy with them. They love you so very much and know there has been a big change in the home but do not understand what has happened. They are waiting there with their unconditional love for you.

I know what you mean about Sissy being special...of my 3 I lost...Little Guy was my last and he was special to me...I think because as a kitten he got pneumonia and almost died and the vet and antibiotics and I watched over him and he lived the longest but I think feeling that I was part of saving him as a baby...made him more special to me because I nearly lost him at about 6 or 8 weeks old.
He had a twin brother, Keeper, who I lost at age 10...which was very devastating also. I am so thankful one of my 2 twins stayed with me 6 more years.

So, yes, the special ones do hurt terribly. I don't know if I could say they hurt more because I still remember the terrible pain and agony I went through losing his brother in 2002.

It is true you are not alone here being in pain. It is a pain that is never forgotten completely and continues to be shared by all here.
That is why so many understand exactly what you are going through...your thoughts and feelings...they are all so very familiar to the rest of us. We try to share what we find helps us heal and try to take away some of your pain by doing that.

It does all take time but you know you are not alone in grieving. Your stories and happy memories of Sissy remind us again of the good memories that can't be taken away from us ever. So while sharing will help you heal...your sharing keeps helping us heal too.

Hugs to you and Sissy's sisters

[tikkanen]

Dear Sissycat, I am deeply sorry to hear of your loss. It is a tough thing to deal with, but you are where you need to be because everyone here cares and understands. We can't take away your pain but we can and will bear it with you. Everything you are feeling is normal. You care deeply about your 4 leggeds and because they are family, not simply pets you grieve their loss. In time you will heal. Because you have loved and still do love an animal (in your case 4) your soul is fully awake and that is a special gift.. I know your Sissycat would want you to continue you loving your 4 kitties. She will always be with you, in your heart, in your dreams and in your soul. You will see her in the eyes of every kitty you look at, she will be in the purr of every kitty you pet, and late at night, when you are fast asleep, her spirit will snuggle up close to you and you will both be at peace.


All My Best,

mark

[oliver's mama]

I couldn't believe how much the face of your kitty looks like my Sissy Cat. The same color and the marking is almost identacle.

I love that face, I have such affection for black and white kitties with their tuxedos too small. On the morning that Oliver died, the vet assistant's husband came by and then asked why their cat was there because they looked so similar as well. She said she held him when he died not 15 minutes after I left. I am comforted that he looked so close to one she loves...she said she went home and gave her cat extra loving that night.

Post your pics when you can...

[sissycat]

Hoping this picture of my Sissycat works.

[myhrtisbrkn]

She was sooo beautiful, I so want to kiss that pink nose. I'm so sorry.


Thoughts and prayers,
Dayna

[havana]

Hoping this picture of my Sissycat works.

Wow, with that sweet face am sure you loved her and also sure you still do, she was so beautiful and understand your pain like it was mine too, God Bless you all, Buster and Jorge .

[LoveThem]

What a beautiful picture of your baby. Look into her eyes and see the love that is so very evident there.

I love it when these babies do look directly into the camera.as Sissy did here.. because she is looking at you taking her picture.

Yes, the picture did work and posted very nicely so if you run across any more pictures of Sissy...we will love to look at them and never get tired of looking at pictures of these oh so very very special sweethearts.

Wonder what she was thinking here? Something that would make us smile, I am sure.

Thanks for posting this....it really helps others too...to see such pictures as they make us smile...and we can't have too many smiles happening.

Hugs and wishes for peace and healing for you....but it really all does take time to ease the sadness so eventually we are in control of it because when it is recent....it is in control of us and it truly is heartbreaking. That's why when we feel the sadness, it is important to remember a good moment with our baby...that's what they want us to remember...a memory that will make us smile even if it is only for a moment...and then more good memories create more smiling moments and these are the baby steps toward healing.

So keep posting thoughts, pictures, feelings...whatever feels good to do...is good for you to do.

[oliver's mama]

She DOES look like my Oliver, not only her markings but the structure and shape of her face too. That picture is beautiful, she looks very thoughtful.

[sissycat]

I am having a bad time right this moment. I am looking at her picture right now and it has hit me again. She is really gone. My tears are really big drops. Why do some days go by easy and others have to be so hard. This pain and emptiness hurts so bad right now. Why why why? Why my Sissy? I am missing you so much right now. I Love You so Much my Sissy.

[william69]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I understand what you are going through right now. It has been a month since I lost William who I had to have put to sleep on 12/05. One thing that is not helping me move on from this is that his brother Harry is really missing him and that is what I am trying to deal with as well as my own empty feelings of loss.

Your Sissy Cat was beautiful.... I love those pictures that your babys give you of them spread out like that. I have a few of William doing that and they are a reminder of one of his affectionate trates he had...... as well as lying on his back and using his front paws to rub his face into whenever we used to rub and tickle his tummy........ it was as if he was in bliss whenever we did that, and the deep loud purrs he'd do as well........ I don't think I will ever forget that about him. Coming here and reading the replies from all the other fur parents has been very comforting to my sister and I so keep coming back as it helps you feel that you are not alone. This is one of the things that I have found has helped me because I have had little support and understanding from anyone else other than the ppl here and my sister.

Your Sissy is very very lovely. I really do feel your raw feelings of sadness......... It is so unfair when one is taken so young.... sometimes I feel that God takes the best ones first and robs us of having them longer, but then I know that isn't true either. They make up for the short space of time they are with us because they give us as much love during that time to make up for the fact they will be going soon. They leave a huge paw print on our lives however long they are with us and the love they give you is so rewarding.... They never moan at you, they never give you a hard time they just love you and they take some of that love you have given them with them when they go, and I think that is why it's so hard when they do leave.

talking about your pain here helps. It has helped me. Williams ashes sit on the window where he used to love to sit in the sun. I talk to him every morning and kiss him goodnight every night.... I don't think you are going mad at all...... It's all part of the healing process which I cannot tell you how long it will take..... When one is as special as Sissy it can take a while.

Love to you all

Williams Mummy ***

[sissycat]

Was just missing you and thinking about you.

Love you Sissycat