How Do I Get Through This? Options

[Annamae]

My little dog went missing over a year ago -- I believe he was either shot or stolen. I've done everything humanly possible to find out what happened to him. This has been an obsession and I just can't get past it. He is constantly on my mind. I've lost pets in the past due to disease or old age. It was always tough to deal with, but at least I could say goodbye and know they were not suffering. I'm tormented by the thought that he could be mistreated. There are so many books about dealing with the death of a pet, but none that I can find about lost pets. How do I find closure on this?????

[LS Support]

i realize this may odd or callous, but perhaps you could either now, or set a date in the future, for an "empty grave" memoriam to honor the life of your dog. At the same time, consider that he is sharing his life with someone else or with your other pets over rainbow bridge.

not knowing what has happened doesn't allow you to pass through the stages of grief. you realize you must achieve closure, and considering your little one being in one of the two cir%%stances i mentioned above, you may be able to.

[SJ J & S]

You could try a meditation where you call him to you and say all you need to say and wish him well on his journey as you now must carry on with yours.

Light a candle and have some flowers there, then when you have finished put the flowers either on an empty grave or throw them in a stream or place them under a tree at your local park.

I think the main thing is to have some sort of ceremony.

I know when someone i love dies i get this feeling that i am waiting for something, never sure what, but once the funeral is over then the feeling goes away.

Love Sue

[LittleGirl's...]

Dear Annamae,

I wish I could take your grief away. This is such a horrible situation to be in. My heart goes out to you!!!!!!

I have to believe that prayers really do reach out and affect others. So, I like the idea of sending out intense heartfelt prayers to your sweet baby. Wherever his spirit is----whether still in his physical body, or freed from that body---he will feel your prayer. I will send mine too.

I pray for a miracle for you---some kind of closure. I'm really sorry you're going through this. Please keep in touch and let us know how you're doing.

Love,
Kathy

[JenniferLynn]

I am so sorry to read this. I wish I had a solution that I thought would help you but the other members' suggestions all sound like good ideas in terms of allowing you to express your grief and mark his life with a memorial. This act might help you feel a bit better.

The reality seems like this will always haunt you to some extent--I can't imagine what losing a pet this way feels like--but you do have to try to move on--NOT forget--but move forward. Perhaps you could make a donation to a ocal no-kill shelter or rescue in his honor. That is a positive thing to do that honors your losted loved one while doing good in his name.

I wish you some peace and hope for the future.
JenniferLynn