My dear brown eyed girl left us October 18th, at 4 pm.

the night before she couldnt walk and my Dad had to carry her into her yard. She stayed in the same spot the whole next day with no food or water near, and flies circling her. I went into the backyard and I couldnt beleive what I saw. She was completely bone. You could see every bone in her body and her legs were limp next to her. I ran to her and put her water bowl under her chin and she drank some water, while I shooed the flies away. I sat out with her in her yard and petted her untill my dad came home to take her to the vet. I had to go to work at Abercrombie and Fitch ( my new job) so I was not able to go with them... but I know shes in a much better place


I just didnt realize how much I loved her untill she was gone.

Im so sad...

I miss my snuppy puppy. It doesnt even seem like shes gone... I went out to let her in today and when I couldnt find her I just started bawling and was unconsolable...

she was my best friend... I loved her so much. I used to run outside during tornados to let her in... I used to let her sleep in my room and I played fetch with her untill her eyesight failed and she could no longer run

I miss her... it hurts so much....

She was the most beautiful Golden Retreiver ever....even at the grand old age of 15.

At a time like this, there can sometimes be few words which can console you, but I'm so very sorry for your loss. Especially when you're torn between work and being with your baby at her time of leaving, it can be so difficult. It may be small consolation, but your sweet girl is in a better place and at peace and nothing can hurt or make her suffer anymore. I truly believe that one day you will be reunited with her and it will seem like no time has passed at all, and she will be the bright-eyed puppy you remember with such love.

In a way, her soul never really leaves you, and I know it comforts me to know that my departed pets are still here in spirit, if not in physical form. That will never change.

It will hurt for days or weeks or even months, especially when you have so many memories of her. There will be times when it hurts less and other times when it feels like the grief will never go away and you just can't stand it. Personally, I've found a lot of comfort in coming here and sharing the grief and memories, and that will help others as well, who are struggling with this kind of loss and pain. Please come back and let us know how you're doing. Take care - Barbara

I'm so sorry.

Nikki KNOWS how much you loved, and love, her. And you'll be fully reuinited with her again, when it's your time. In the meantime, she's at total peace and experiencing only bliss. She's fine---she just wants you to be okay. If the roles were reversed, you'd be wanting more than anything for her to be fine.

In your grief, remember that guilt is a natural, normal part of grief, but that doesn't mean you did anything wrong. You're human, just like all of us, and there will always be things you question, etc. but try not to be hard on yourself.

You'll be with her again!!

Love,
Kathy

Hello.I am so very sorry for your loss.I know it is a tough thing to go thur and that your pain is very extense right now.All of us here have been thur the same thing with our beloved pets and we know how you feel.It will get better with time but don't let anyone tell you how long your supposed to grief or how long it will take to get over it.You'll have some good days and some bad days.I lost my beloved kitty Sox a little over 2 weeks ago and there are still times throughout the day that I miss him so much I can't stand it but I try to remember all the good times we had together.Your baby knew that you loved her and she wouldn't want you to feel guilty about anything you might have done differently,she is at peace now.She'll be waiting for you safe on the other side when it is your time to go home.My thoughts and prayers will be with you and I hope you'll feel some comfort in knowing that she is no longer suffering,she is safe and free from pain...she's a young girl again!Sincerely,Renee

I am so sorry for your loss!! I agree with what Renee said, your baby is not old or infirm or suffering anymore, she is whole and happy! 15 year is a long time for a retriever, you were so blessed for all of those wonderful years. You had a bond that can't be broken by physical death; she is still with you...have you received any signs yet? You will. They can be strong or subtle, just keep your heart open and she will come to you!
Praying for both of you,
Lisa

I havent had any clear signs yet...

I did have a terrible dream about her.... and I woke up so sad... I dont know if I should even explain it It was pretty upsetting. But here goes...

for some reason I was in my front yard ( we sit on quite a few acres so she had abour 5 yards to play in) but my puppy couldnt sit up. I kept trying to help her up, and then the next thing I knew, her head was detached from her body, but it was like she was decapitated...it just fell off in my hands and there was blood everywhere.

I wish I could have something good come to me but all I have had is this terrible dream and I dont know what it means but it makes me sad.

I miss my puppy. ;_;

As a hobby I like to decode my own dreams and others' (using dream dictionaries and the like). Your dream is interesting (although terrible to think of) because, as this one dream dictionary I reference suggests, a decapitation dream suggests that "you are not thinking clearly and are refusing to see the truth. You need to confront the situation or the person despite the pain and discomfort you might feel in doing so." That seems to be amazingly accurate. Although I don't really know your feelings and how you are reacting to your pet's death it does seem a possible problem is being addressed by this dream interpretation...maybe it's just so painful you are having trouble really acknowledging that it's true although you know, somewhere inside your head or your heart, that you have to eventually (which is why it manifests as a symbol in your dream). Good luck with your healing process. Everyone here is at some stage in that same process and so we all know at least a little bit how you feel.

Noriko,
Often what makes me cry no matter what is going on in my world is that animals to me are the angels teaching us to CARE. I want to care. I want to know hearts like yours.
(((((((((((hugs)))))))))))
Lisa

Noriko,

Tias' Mom is right. dreams are one way our subconscious brings challenges to the surface to be worked through. Even the act of dreaming can help us resolve certain things at times, even if we don't know what they're symbolizing. Another method of working with them (if you don't have any dream books) is to ask yourself what each dream symbol might represent to YOU, personally, and see if that gives you any clues to the dream's meaning. You can also choose to 'rewrite' the dream in your mind ( especially good for these really disturbing ones ) and choose a different outcome consciously, OR have a conversation with the characters in your dream (in your mind) and see what they might have to tell you. That can be really enlightening!

I had some disturbing ones about Nissa, too (although not as graphically disturbing as yours)...3 of the same in a row, actually, which isn't normal for me. But they DID stop, in that format, when I realized what they were reflecting about my current state of mind. Just think of them as a means for your mind to get your attention about things that are concerning you. The more nightmarish they are, the more it's your mind's way of making sure you don't forget them...so your mind is trying harder to bring an issue into your waking awareness.

Hang in there. I know it's tough.