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gunnersmom
43 years old
Gender Not Set
San Angelo, TX
Born Aug-6-1980
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basically everything dogs and babies. also into natural health and homeopathy.
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Joined: 16-November 06
Profile Views: 1,284*
Last Seen: 8th October 2008 - 09:08 PM
Local Time: Mar 28 2024, 04:16 PM
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gunnersmom

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14 Jul 2008
Please send prayers for Izzy and Mack. Its been a while since ive been to this site, but you were all so comforting when I lost my baby boy gunner 2 october's ago. He too had escaped the backyard and ended up getting killed by a car.
I'm praying his brother mack and our other dog izzy dont reach the same fate. One of them managed to knock the wooden gate hinges loose ont he bottom and push it open about a foot and i discovered it just minutes after waking up this morning. its now almost 10 pm with no sign of them anywhere. Ive posted signs all around the neighborhood and talked to a few neighbors and visited the shelter twice today and they are watching for them too. I dont know what else to do other than pray that God will send them back home to me safe and sound. we just moved to san antonio last week adn they are totally unfamiliar with the area so they dont have a favorite place for me to go look for them. who knows which direction they headed but what worries me most is that we are right at the crossing of an interstate and major highway right behind our house which is where they got out. im praying a neighbor has found them and has them safe and just waiting to see where they belong. Please help keep me sane...theres only so much i can do being 6 months pregnant and on partial bed rest due to pregnancy complications. I need this to be a happy ending. i still havent gotten over the loss of my gunner and its been a year and a half. i lost another dog in march this year right after finding out i was pregnant and i really dont want to lose 2 more this time. im just sick over this.
please please pray.
thanks
michelle
16 Nov 2006
It has been well over a month since I lost my doggie Gunner and I'm not doing any better emotionally. I found this site a couple of days ago and have tried and tried to post but begin crying so hard I just have to stop and leave. So now I'm back and hoping I can find some peace here.

I'm sad and heartbroken and angry at myself and my father for what happened to my sweet boy. I now know never to ignore your gut instincts, if you have a gut feeling that you should do something...THEN DO IT! I regret not listening to mine.

Friday night Oct 6th, I was talking to Gunner (who was staying with my parents until we got our fence put up at our new house) and decided that I needed to take him home with me that night to stay the night there and get the feel of the place. He had never been there before and it was KILLING me not having him there with me. Well i got distracted by other things and it got late so I actually just stayed the night at my parents house instead. Early (8 am) the next morning, my dad gets up and decides to mow the lawn and he LEFT THE GATE OPEN! He never thought twice about it. At the time dad had gone to the front yard to mow, I stood at the back door and talked to Gunner. I can still see him sitting there with his button ears and wiggly tail sitting so pretty listening to me intently (he wanted in the house and i didnt let him in like i wanted to cause we were getting ready to leave) as i told him he was such an amazing dog. That i love him and am so proud of him. I said I cant wait to get you over to the new house with us to stay cause he would be able to stay inside with us instead of out in the backyard. i was gonna buy him a new bed and new toys and everything. I told him how pretty he was and that he is a GOOBOEY (babytalk) and told him again that i loved him. I wouldnt know until later that that would the last time I ever saw him alive. Well mom and I decide to go grocery shopping and we left, going the other direction and not seeing the gate wide open.
A little while later my husband came into town for the weekend so I left my parents and we spent the day together with our son and had a great time. well at 6 pm we are in line getting dinner at a BBQ restaurant and my dad calls me to say Gunner got out of the backyard to go find him.
I was shocked. Gunner is the dog who always stays behind when the other dogs get out and is the tattletale, so I really thought it was strange that HE is the one who went on an adventure. Anyways, we get home to my parents house and I'm all upset and asking how he got out. My mom told me that earlier that morning our neighbor across the street had found my dads dog between the houses outside the gate but too scared to go any farther, so she came over caught her and brought her back in the house. My dad was like...ok thanks. Im not sure who went and closed the gate but someone did. My dad never even looked to see if any of the other dogs were missing. So several hours later my mom hears a dog crying and scratching at the front door, so dad opens it and my other dog Mack was sitting there scared to death and his front left leg was injured. he was limping badly, so dad just put him back out in the backyard and that was that. Still not looking for any other missing dogs. So after about 15 minutes it started nagging my mom that he didnt look so SHE went out and looked and found all the dogs but Gunner (her favorite too). She came back in and told dad to call me and tell me that he was missing. THIS WAS 6 PM. My gunner had been gone for 10 hours before they ever looked for him.
My husband and I set out on a mission to find him and we drove and drove even after dark we continued driving finding nothing. We finally stopped around 9 pm and my husband told me that he is such a friendly dog that someone found him and picked him up and we'll just keep looking. So i made posters to hang everywhere with his pictures and descriptions and stuff...turns out he did not have his collar on either. I found it in the backyard.
Sunday i skipped church and we posted the flyers everywhere we could think of, called the police dispatch to see if any dogs had been reported and there were but none matching his description. I walked out neighborhood and asked kids and old people and basically every human being outside if they had seen him. None of them had. Finally one teenage girl said she had just seen a dog identical to him running a few streets over, so i hopped in my car and drove that street for hours, all the neighboring streets too...NOTHING. I went to bed crying that night. I missed my baby and was afraid I was never going to see him again. As I was crying I begged God to return him to me.
Monday morning I woke up early and called every vet office in the city to report a lost dog and leave a description and see if any had been reported over the weekend.....NOTHING. I finally called the Humane Society at 9 and they said to come in and look cause they did pick up several dogs over the weekend...I got sooooo hopeful. I brought my son over to my parents house to leave him cause i figured all the barking dogs out there would scare him and from there I headed out to the Humane Society. I decided to get on the freeway instead of taking the access road (looking for him while i was driving) and at the entrance ramp I accellerated and glanced down to my left and there he was laying in the grass onthe side of the freeway. For a moment I felt numb and my very first thought was 'I found Gunner...at least ill know where he is'. Then about 45 seconds later i began shaking horribly and burst into tears. I was crying so hard I could barely see to get off the freeway. I even had people in other cars trying to get me to pull over. I tried calling my husband but he didnt have his phone on him so i called my mom. My dad answered the phone and i just started screaming at him...."HES DEAD, GUNNERS DEAD. HE GOT HIT BY A CAR....WHY DIDNT YOU LOOK FOR HIM, HES DEAD!!!!!"
well needless to say dad gave the phone to mom so he wouldnt have to listen to me scream at him that it was his fault for not looking for him earlier. Mom just tried to calm me down until I got to my house where my husband was. When i got home i jumped out of my car and ran to him bawling my eyes out and he knew immediately that I had found him. My sweet baby boy was less than 2 blocks from our new house. My husband got in the car with me (he was driving) and i took him to where I found him. He pulled off the road and told me to stay in the car. i didnt want to..I wanted to run to my Gunner and hold him and cry for him but I was so numb I couldnt move. after a couple of minutes my DH came back to the car and said we needed to go home and have him come back in his truck, that Gunner had been dead for a while and was smelling really bad and he didnt want that smell in my car. I almost died thinking we had to leave his body there even longer all alone. I cried the whole way home. My DH made me stay home that time and my little cousin came over to stay with me until Dh got back with gunner. I had called a local rescue group called Paws4Life and they do pet burials and cremations. A burial for gunner would have cost us $350. We were going to pay it but my aunt talked me out of it so we decided to bury him at our new house (my uncle owns the property we live on and the property next to us) and we buried him just outside our fence to make sure our other dog wouldnt dig him up once he was moved over there. My husband went and got wood out of my uncles barn and made Gunner and wooden casket., he dug an enormous whole all by himself (i felt so sorry for him) and then one last time from a distance I saw my baby boy as my husband lifted his body out of the back of his truck and laid him in his coffin then covered him with the blanket i had for Gunner. We placed his favorite toy...a stuffed blue dog, named BLUE DOG next to him and then i put a few pictures of me and him together and a picture of him and his brother Mack (the limping dog) in with him so he wouldnt be lonely. As my husband nailed the lid onto the coffin I told Gunner how much I love him and that I'm so sorry that this happened to him and that he didnt deserve to have this happen to him and that I was so sorry I didnt bring him over the night before like I had wanted so badly to do.

Since then I have cried daily...several times a day. I just cant stop. Its been since Oct 7th, i figured i would have at least begun to heal from this wound. I have talked to my Dh about it and cried with him over the phone (hes away with the military and actually had to leave the day we buried Gunner), i've talked to my mom once and ever since then my dad will barely speak to me. anytime i am near him i am really uncomfortble. i am so angry at him for not looking. i have mentally tried desparately to forgive him but its not happening. i say that i do but i dont feel like i do and thats what matters most.

I have noticed that when i do cry over gunner that i dont feel anything except hollowness. the other day i picked up his collar and held it for a moment and FINALLY felt the deepest pain course thru my chest. This was a month after he left us and NOW IM FEELING PAIN?????? what up with this? up until now i had not hurt for him...now i feel physical pain when i think of him or hold his collar. i also cannot spend much time with mack (his brother by adoption) because the two of them went together like peanut butter and jelly. i see mack and gunner should be there too. mack is not mack without gunner. thats just how it always was with them. they were brothers to the most extreme sense of the word even if not by blood. mack still isnt himself. hes close to being back to himself but hes lonely. every night i let mack inthe house and he sleeps in my bed with me and i still cry myself to sleep. mack is my husbands dog and Gunner was mine. of course we love them both but Gunner and i had that special bond that you get with that one special pet who just clicks with you. gunner was a momma's boy. he lived to get me kisses and hear me praise him. and now i feel so lost without him. if i could just feel him one more time.......

my husband told me that Gunner had been hit in the head by a car and that it was so severe that he died instantly. I know he didnt suffer, but he died alone and lost and I cant get over that.

when will this pain lessen? i know it will never go away but i cant keep going thru life crying at every little thing.

if only i had listened to my instincts and taken him to my house......if only
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