Brandon

I found a little kitten in my yard. It was raining and I found him in the corner of a small box trying to stay dry. His Mom had booted him from the pack. You know they say animals can sense when something is wrong with their babies. So I brought him in, named him Brandon and fed him with a syringe and he did really good . At 6 weeks he was eating on his own and then yesterday he got sick again so I went back to feeding him with a syringe. I tried for 8 weeks to save him only to come home from work this morning and find his little body next to the couch. He was such a precious little boy. He was black and white with long hair. I had taken him to the vet last Monday but the vet said to wait a couple of weeks before he gets his shots because he was sick. He couldn't pull through, he really tried but he couldn't do it. His little life ended way to soon. Please keep him in your thoughts and please pray that he crossed over the bridge. I'm so sorry Brandon but please remember that Mommy loves you and we'll be together again someday.

Little Black Kitten

I found a little black kitten in my kitchen this evening. Not sure how it got in here but it was in the corner hiding. I knew there was something wrong with it. The Mommy cats always bring me their kittens when they're dying, imagine that. Now I have Shadow, that's what I named her or him, in a blanket and there's nothing I can do, except pray that Shadow goes peacefully during sleep. I gave Shadow some milk in a bottle but it's too late to do anything. Please pray for Shadow. I know nothing can be done to save his or her little life but it breaks my heart , it's out of my hands now and in God's hands. Please once again pray for Shadow that he or she will go to the bridge peacefully.

How Can I Go On

Hi everyone. I haven't been here in a while because I've been going thru alot and dealing with my own grief.

As everyone knows I had to put my sweet baby Emily who was 11 in people years down on May 6th because she had kidney failure.

Then on Sept.12th I had to put my baby Misty who was 18 in people years down because she too had kidney failure.

As if losing 2 wasn't enough on Sept. 16th I lost my other baby cat Lindsey because she had ulcers in her mouth, it looked like she had blisters on her gums and at times she couldn't eat because it was so painful. She was tested for any and every kind of disease and nothing was found.

In the begining she was responding to the cortizone shots and she was getting them about every 3 weeks or so. The vet was honest with me and told me we were buying time and eventually she would become diabetic from the shots.

However in the end, which was 1 year after she started getting the shots she stopped responding and I had to make the dreaded decision once again.

3 babies taken from me within 4 1/2 months. I am still in shock. It's like this whole thing is happening to somebody else and I'm watching it.

My heart is so heavy sometimes I feel like I can't breath. I am in total denial and I don't know how to deal with this. I'm still waiting to pick her ashes up. I called today and they said she should be ready by next Tuesday.

How do I cope with this?

Misty

Yesterday I couldn't cry,today I can't stop the tears. I think I'm starting to realize that she is gone. The tears are coming like a tidal wave .

I called the vet to see if I needed to bring a box when I picked her up Sat am. They put her in a small white plastic lined box and curled her up like she was sleeping with her paws covering her eyes

I had to put her to sleep on Tues then go to work so I had to leave her at the vet's and she's in the freezer.
God this is so unfair to her. I had to work all of this around my work schedule. She has been in the freezer for 2 days now waiting for me to pick her up and I have to work 12 hours tomorrow just so I can have Sat off to take her to be cremated.

I can't stand the thought of being without her. I just lost Emily to the same thing on May 6th and now I've lost Misty too.It hurts, the pain is unbearable right now but I know from experience that in time my pain will lessen.

I feel like I'm on autopilot. I'm going thru the motions but that's about it. I can't stand the thought of going to work ,I want to stay home and cry but I can't.
I feel like I'm going crazy....again.

Knowing that she is with all the other furbabies does make it a bit easier. At least I don't have to worry about her. I know she is safe and not in any pain.

Misty I'm so sorry for the way your life had to end.You were there for me thru divorce, death, when I remarried, relocation, thru the good and the bad and you never asked for anything.Please don't ever forget how much Mommy loves you and I promise we'll be together again someday.

Feeling Guilty

What is wrong with me? I had to say goodbye to my baby Misty Sept. 12th and
I've only cried 3 times since leaving the vet. I miss her terribly and at times I find myself calling her name but I can't grieve. This time it's so different. It seems like I was more emotional when I put Emily down. I don't know if it's because I knew that at her age it was inevitable that I would lose her .

I did go to the Dr. in July after 2 months of trying to cope with the loss of Emily and alot of other personal problems and got on Paxil CR. I wonder if it's because of the anti depressants.I have been working alot too. My last day off was last Weds. so I wonder if maybe I haven't had time to accept the idea.

The tears don't come like they did before. I feel like such a lousy Mom because I'm not grieving the way I should. It's so unfair to Misty because she deserves so much more than this. Maybe I haven't accepted the fact that she is gone yet. I don't understand what is wrong with me. Is this normal? I wonder if that will change when I pick her up Sat. to take her to be cremated. I am starting to feel so guilty because I feel like I'm being disloyal to Misty.

Please somebody tell me what is wrong with me.