Coming Up On 6 Months Options

[missy]

Hi everyone,
I just wanted to let you know that I still check in frequently and say a prayer for all those that are suffering with grief.
I can't believe it will soon be 6 months since I lost my precious Opie. I also can't believe that I really don't feel at all healed since then. I had been distracted for a while, but when I have a moment to myself and time to think about him, I fall to pieces.
I just don't know how I will ever be okay again. It tears me up inside. I miss him sooooo much.

The crazy part is, the breeder that I got him from continues to advertise kittens on the internet. They look EXACTLY like Opie. I get this urge to get one because it looks so much like him, but I know it won't BE him. I know it would be a terrible idea. I can't ever get him back and I have to accept that. It's just that there is this idea that comes in my head that maybe, just maybe this kitten would act like Opie too because they're relatives. But I know it is so wrong. On so many levels. For one, the breeder was awful (if you read my first post you will see) and there is no way I could ever support what she is doing. Plus it just isn't right, I can't try and make a new kitten become Opie. I just miss him so much and can barely deal with never being able to see him again.

I still have Lily my seal point siamese. She keeps me company, but is nowhere near the personality that Opie was. He was such an amazing cat. One in a million. My heart is shattered.