I can't believe this. A few years ago I used this site to help with my grief over Misty, my cat who died when I was 7 months pregnant at age 18.

When my daughter was 4 months old, a cat looking just like Misty showed up and had been dumped by someone who sold a house. We kept her and as the years went on, she was "helping" me raise my daughter.

Last week we went out of town for 2 days, wit ha reliable babysitter coming by twice a day. Although she was not supposed to let Magic out at night, she did. She wasn't here when we returned and after 2 days of flyers, calling, people searching sheds, we found out that a black cat had been found dead across the street. The babysitter finally fessed up that she let her out all night and we determined it was Magic.

I am still in shock...I was expecting her to live another 10 years.

Please everyone help........myanxiety and shock is unbelieveable, and I realize from the last time that it's pointless to talk to non "pet people."

Thanks for listening......Radgirl

Hi, Radgirl, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the loss of your beloved Magic. Losing a beloved companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we have been blessed with the privilege of their company.

Radgirl, I can so relate to your shock and total disbelief. All I can say is that I truly wish this had not happened to your precious Magic, and that you and your daughter did not have to go through this tragic grief. What happened to your precious Magic is NOT your fault. You did everything in your power to protect her and make sure that she was properly taken care of while you were away. The responsibility for this tragedy lies squarely on the shoulders of the person who was supposed to follow your instructions.

Radgirl, I wish there were some words I could say that could change the events as they have happened, words that I wish could help soothe your and your daughter's broken heart. I can only hope and pray that you will find some comfort in my sincerest friendship, and in the reassurance that I am here with you, beside you, and for you through every step of this grief journey. Please know you and your daughter are in my thoughts and prayers, and look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thank you Moon Beam. This is so much harder than losing a pet to old age. Blaming doesn't help, I just want her back!!!

I am still so traumatized I didn't even saying anything when I went back to work yesterday. Talking about the details and answering questions would be too painful right now.

Please keep the words of comfort coming, I need all the help I can get right now.

Radgirl

Dear Radgirl,

Please accept my sincere condolences on the loss of your precious Magic. Loosing an animal companion so suddenly and unexpectedly is extremely shocking and traumatizing. It can leave you in a state of disbelief.

Please know, as Moon_beam wrote, it is not your fault at all. It was beautiful how little Magic appeared in your life and how you adopted her. You left your precious Magic with someone who you thought you could trust to care for her. There were many times over the years that I had left my animal companions with trusted sitters.

Please try to take it one day at a time, and know that we are here for you whenever you need to share.
With peace and healing thoughts,
Juturna

Hi, Radgirl, thank you for letting us know how you're doing. I so do understand you're not up to answering questions, re-telling the details of your loss over and over. You need to take this time to focus on what YOU need, and perhaps eventually there may be a couple of people - - or more - - that you would feel comfortable sharing what happened to your precious Magic at a later time. It's up to you, Radgirl, and whatever you do / decide is the right decision for you.

Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Radgirl. I hope today has been kind to you, and I look forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thank you both for your support. Yes, it is too hard to go through the story. I can't even talk abou it. It is so different than when my other cat died of old age......I can't even look at pictures of her right now.

IT really hurts that everyone on our street that knows the situation hasn't said a word, not one I'm sorry. Very frustrating.

I am too exhausted to write much, but wanted to thank everyone for their encouragement. We've made plans to meet up with my hubby's entire family in a few weeks out of town. Could not really afford this, but felt with the grief it was something we needed to do. I feel it will really help us........it's my first step.

Has anyone else been so traumatized the yhave blocked out their pet's routine at home in their mind???

All right, off to bed. Thanks again.

Radgirl

Hi, Radgirl, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. You have suffered a very tragic and traumatic loss, and sometimes to protect our minds from the stress of the trauma it develops a temporary amnesia. So, if you're having challenges in your memories of your precious Magic, please don't be frightened by it. When your mind determines it is safe for you to remember, you will begin to have memories of your precious Magic - - the precious memories of her earthly journey with you.

It is very frustrating sometimes when people who are physically closest to us - - like friends, neighbors, etc., - - who know our sorrow offer no comfort at all. They each have their reasons, but it is little comfort to our broken hearts. I hope and pray that you find comfort and encouragement here, Radgirl, for each of us truly do understand the deepest sorrow you are feeling. We are here for you, with you, and beside you, Radgirl.

I hope your trip to visit with family will be a safe one, and enjoyable on whatever level that may be. Wherever you go and whatever you may be doing, Radgirl, please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and will look forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi Radgirl - I am so sorry for you. This is a sudden loss with no time to prepare so you just have to take it one minute, then hour, then day at a time. I lost my cat Tiger to cancer on March 1. He showed now symptoms until a week before and I was not prepared to lose him. Take care - I am going through this as well.

Thank you. My condolences as well. I lost one to cancer 4 years ago.........at least I knew it coming. I am so sorry, you must also be in shock. This board can be a great place to find people who understand.

I made it to the counselor's today and my hubby is coming next week. It's like losing a kid and we need to talk since the type of death was unexpected and "violent."

In the meantime, we've blocked MAgic from our minds. Took my daughter to the park and McDonald's today, rode her bike. Was able to least focus on the present. This happened March 20th and I hadn't been able to really get back into my routine, so I am glad that I've been able to do that. It is not a good feeling when you don't feel like your thoughts are constantly elsewhere. So it is a HUGE relief.

So, that is our focus for now....no memorial stone or garden yet. It will come. But Magic would want me to take care of my daughter, house, hubby. I have to tell myself that.

Thanks again for the encouragement and hang in there with your grief. Please keep me updated.

Regards, Amy

[Moon beam, thanks for all your kind messages. I love love to hear your story also. I think the trip will be good, my hubby's entire family will be there. My daughter will get to see her cousins, and we'll be out of the house for an entire week. We couldn't really afford this, but this is one situation where you do what you gotta do to get your mind off things.

I made it to the counselor's and hubby is coming next week. It really helped me and I feel great being able to focus on my daily routine for the first time since this happened. I feel guilty not just thinking about Magic and memorializing her. I did with my first cat right away, but it wasn't a tragic and unexpected death. Plus, my daughter needs us right now to show her we can handle when bad things happen.

So, got a few playdates scheduled this week to get out of the house a bit. Plus, cleaned to house from top to bottom.........still looking for an extra toy of piece of hair in the back of mind.

All right, enough for now. Thanks again for everything........

Radgirl

Dear Radgirl,

I'm so glad that your counselor was helpful. It must feel good to get back to your daily routine. Cleaning the house is an accomplishment. And scheduling playdates must have felt right.

You will think about and memorialize your precious Magic when you are ready. It is perfectly OK not to be ready to memorialize her at this point. You may need some time since this was so totally unexpected. And you are right, your little Magic would want you to take care of yourself, your daughter, and your husband.

Please know that I'm sending you healing thoughts and peace. And hope you will continue to let us know how you are doing.
With serenity and gratitude,
Juturna

Hi, Radgirl, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Just want to add my sincerest thoughts to Juturna's most comforting encouragement. I'm glad you have found a counselor who is compassionate in your needs, and glad to know your husband will be joining you as well. And getting back to a reasonable routine can be very helpful, a feeling of "normalcy" when going through an "adjustment journey." And to reaffirm Juturna's words of encouragement, "And you are right, your little Magic would want you to take care of yourself, your daughter, and your husband." Our beloved companions do want us to continue our earthly journey with a happy heart, focused on the things and people and experiences that bring joy to our lives. And part of this is remembering our beloved companions and the joy we shared with them during their earthly journey with us. This will come in time for you, Radgirl, as you remember your precious Magic.

Radgirl, please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and look forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam