Hi all,
It's been ages since I've had the time to post....mydaughter and Magic keep me hopping! Magic has become more and more dear to us, as I don't think I would be as far along in the process as I am.

Thanksgiving Day marked the 2 year anniversary of Misty's death. We weren' out of town this year and we were totally alone, so that componded the situation. From Thanksgiving until April is the roughest time of year for me, as I remember the pain of no condolences and insensitive comments. It was hard to remember him Thanksgiving running around in the leaves....

I could use a few words of encouragement right now if anyone has time. Msot of the year I have moved on, but this time of year seems to drag on forever.

Thanks everyone and Happy New Year!

Love,
Radgirl

Dearest Radgirl, I'm so sorry you're feeling such grief over the holidays from Misty fur baby being gone for 2 years. Thanksgiving and "Merry Christmas" ain't so merry when all your memories of wonderful, joyful, cute, funny and sweet times with your fur baby now only serve as hurtful reminders. My loss took place on 10/16/2007 and this year was even worse than the first. I suppose it's because I was in so much shock, denial and feeling numb all at the same time back then.

As for condolences, if I hear, "He was a bird. Just a bird. Sure you're sad he died and had a good cry but there's a million more out there so why don't you just get another one? You gotta pull yourself together and get over this. After all, he was only a bird, for pity's sake ..." And so on. If I hear that one more time, I think I may just spit. Oy. Radgirl, insert kitty, doggie, hamster, goldfish, iguana, bunny or any other pet instead of "bird." The pain's the same. Some, if not most, people just don't get it. They'll sympathize with you for a short while then many even become annoyed and avoid you ... But, that doesn't happen here because we DO get it! We do understand that our fur and feather kids are family and leave very deep foot prints in our hearts and souls. We'll never forget them.

Here's a post I made in the Pet Loss Support Resources and Articles area here at LS that explains what I'm saying. It's a well known fact that many people grieve far worse over the loss of a pet than they do for even their spouse, parent or sibling. This site gives actual case histories of people's losses, how they felt and finally came to cope. Just click the following link to take you there directly so you don't have to go hunting. Here it is: Your Fur Child Loss Devastation - You Are Not Going Insane - Emotions and Behavior

One thing I find very comforting can be found here: VIRTUAL "LIGHT A CANDLE" AND IT IS FREE You can light as many candles as often as you desire and for any reason you wish while even leaving a message, prayer, thoughts, conversations with your Misty kitty or your feelings. The candles burn virtually for 48 hours and there's a search feature so you can locate your candle. It's a very lovely and loving experience.

You might want to check this out too, Radgirl ... How To Heal When You Have Lost A Pet, Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) Healing Sessions All is explained at that link and it really helped me. You may wish to give it a try as well, Dear One.

You know what else I find very, very comforting indeed? I know that Alex hears me and if I sit very still and am very quiet, I can feel him and sometimes hear him, too. I'll bet that you might be surprised should you give that a chance and hear your Misty fur baby purring in contentment because she's only a breath away. Did you know that? Radgirl, a breath away is not far at all to where Misty is right there at your side. Here, this song says it a lot better thank I can.







Who can say for certain maybe you're still here. I feel you all around me. Your memory's so clear. Deep in the stillness, I can hear you speak. You're still an inspiration. Can it be? That you are my Forever Love. And you are watching over me from up above!

Fly me up to where you are beyond the distant star. I wish upon tonight to see you smile! If only for a while to know you're there. A breath away's not far to where you are.

Are you gently sleeping here inside my dream? And isn't faith believing all power can't be seen. As my heart holds you just one beat away, I cherish all you gave me everyday!

'Cause you are my Forever Love watching me from up above. And I believe that Angels breathe and that love will live on and never leave!

Fly me up to where you are, beyond the distant star! I wish upon tonight to see you smile. If only for a while to know you're there. A breath away's not far to where you are!

I know you're there! A breath away's not far to where you are!


I hope this gave you some small comfort. Please know you and Misty are in my thoughts and prayers as I wing many loving Angels to soothe you and guide you through your gosh awful time of deep sorrow. I wish you Peace!

Many Comforting Hugs!!!

Always,
Dottie xoxoxox

PS. Radgirl, I do have a lot more that I feel would be of comfort to you if you wish me to post it. I just wanted to get this off to you as soon as possible. Hon, I can feel your heart breaking and hear you crying. I weep with you, too. More Hugs!!!

Hello Radgirl,

I've only been here since October so have not read of your Misty. I've read most of the recent ones and it looks like there are lots of people who are coming here to find encouragement and talk with people who understand the deep grief we suffer when we lose our pets. New losses and new people needing to pour out their feelings when the "normal" people won't listen or think we are crazy.

So many people think there is something wrong because it was "just a cat/dog/bird/rabbit" or whatever. My Grandmother lived with me for her last several years to the age of 100 and I loved here dearly. It was a difficult loss for me and the first Christmas was hard (her birthday was Christmas Day) but I knew all along that the loss of my Flossie would be something that I'd have an even harder time with.

I'm not sure why that is unless it is because they accept us for who we are ALWAYS................ depend on us completely, love us unconditionally and are always there to greet us when we come home as if we were the greatest thing in the world. Of course my Grandma was like that too. But the animals have to communicate with us without being able to verbally tell us anything at all. Somehow that makes it a special connection.

I've tried very hard not to feel sorry for myself. Because Flossie had many struggles for over 14 of her 17-1/2 years and kept on truckin'. So who am I to feel sorry for myself? Sad that she had to leave me, sad that I had to make the decision and sorry that she is alone without me as she really hated to be apart from me. But I know she was not living the life she was comfortable with anymore. Sometimes I think I was selfish because she had gotten to be more & more difficult to take care of & I feel I owed her that. But it had been 14 years of one hurdle or another and I knew her so well that I didn't want to hang on to her so she could have just 1 or 2 good days a week.

The holidays through spring may be the hardest for any of us. A family member is missing from our lives, days are shorter, not much sunshine to pick up our spirits, more couped up in the house. For you, probably haveing lost Misty on a special holiday just makes it that much worse.

I am glad to hear Magic is becoming more dear to you & your daughter. Having them both must help more than you realize. I have 2 new ones and just last night I was thinking how lucky I am to have them. They are not Flossie..... they cannot replace her but they are a joy to have around & keep me busy enough to not dwell on my loss as much as I know I would have otherwise. Never would I have picked either of them but they have wiggled their way into my heart and creep a little further in each and every day. If Flossie hadn't been in my life, I may not even realize how special these 2 are.

I hope your memories of Misty will give you some comfort. He must have brought you many hours of joy while you had him with you. He's looking down on you and remembering the good times I'm sure. Ginger

Hello again, Radgirl. Please know that Misty is telling you this: "Mommy, I Hear your Voice on the Wind! And I Hear you call out my name! I am the Voice of the past that will Always Be! I am the Voice of your hunger and pain. Answer my call, and I'll set you Free! I am the Voice of the Future! I Will Remain!"









More Comforting Hugs to You and your fur angel Misty!!!
Kisses to your sweet baby Magic, too!!!

Always,
Dottie xoxoxox

Hi radgirl,

It's SO good to hear from one of the 'older' gang, even if you're not doing all that well....but I'm of course very sorry for that. I always, probably erroneously, imagine that everyone else is doing much better than I and that's why they haven't been around anymore. Shows ya what I know! Snorf!

But, despite not really posting all that much (about) myself in the last year, if it helps any, it's now 2 yrs, 4 months for me with Nissa's crossing and with Sabin's 9th Year Angelversary also coming up Feb.2, (plus my Mother's and brother's 5 Yr.s; one tomorrow and one at the end of Feb., even though those aren't as poignant or painful as my furkids' ones), I know what you mean by having these long stretches of remembered sorrows during a year, including the disappointments of lack of support around you. I've been writing some folks about that same thing, too, of late, even whilst trying to heal those lacks at the same time within myself. It doesn't help that I've seemingly and suddenly just lost yet another someone I'd considered a good friend.....so here we go again, compounding the sorrow! There's a pattern here that I obviously need to do more work on overcoming!

I don't really have too many words of wisdom or advice to offer, mind you, as I'm still struggling with so many things myself, all tied in somehow with the departure of my girl. But I do know how being 'alone' severely impacts and worsens these times.

On the upside, energetically & consciousness-speaking, there's a lot of consensus around the world that '09 will actually be a much better year for many of us, despite any continuing challenges, and I've just had a Shamanic reading that attested to same for me, personally. I was told I didn't even have to "hope" (as I'd said to this woman) that this would come true, it was such a given. And yet, I'm still saying that I just HOPE it will come to pass! That's about the only thing that's keeping me going right now. That, and a lovely sign from my Nissa, plus one from someone else's furbaby here. So maybe it's time to ask Misty for one for yourself, too, as you really need it right now?

Hugs and 'welcome back', even if only briefly,
Nissa & Sabin's Mom

Hi, Radgirl

I remember last time you were on, you gave words of encouragement to others, letting them know that Magic has helped you bear the loss of Misty somewhat better. Giving others hope that even though we will never forget our special ones.....we can move on somewhat.

Remember my boy left me in Sept of 07 and so like you....the Holidays were close and that seemed to make it all worse.

Just remember that saying I quote from a "Mom" here that: The pain of losing him will never ever be greater than the joy of knowing him. Remember the joy....always remember the joy.

I know that no matter how much time has passed...it always happens just as I have told myself...there will be times when it will all come back and seem overwhelming again...maybe just for a day..maybe longer. That's cause the pain of missing them can never go away completely.
I know this year on Christmas Day, as I handed my husband a present from his daughter to open, I started crying and in response to his questioning look...all I could say is all of a sudden I was overwhelmed with missing my Little Guy...so very badly. I cry now just remembering.

But then we pull ourselves up again and go on....but we know in our hearts...we will never forget.....never.

So come back anytime and share your thoughts and feelings. You know we know exactly how you feel and we are still listening...you are never alone.

Hugs to you and your family and a special hug for Magic....for helping you all...but then I am sure Misty had something to do with it all happening. Your Angel is with you 24/7. He is touching you in your heart...that warm feeling when you think of him....that's him.


Judy

Hello Radgirl,

Being here since June of 08 I have not read of your Misty.
It is people like you that give me hope. Hope that is in 2 years I will still be coming here to talk to my Sissycat and hoping to offer others a little comfort the way everyone has done for me.
Misty must have been a joy to have been around!!!

Yes, The holiday are hard for me also. Each one that rolls around I think well this is the 1st Halloween, thanksgiving, and so on without her.

I hope you continue to come here! I look forward to reading posts from everyone and making new friends.

Hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi Radgirl, Yep, the holidays effected me the same way. Totally depressed, and hiding from everyone. I forced myself to go to work throughout even on Xmas day just to avoid everything. Jan 2 has become my favorite non holiday, holiday. Everything is over!. I don't even talk to people about my loss anymore, not even my sig. other. I just come here instead. I read, I post, I cry alot. But I know I'm understood.. It doesn't matter how long they have been gone, grief knows no time. Oome here to read, post, chat with your angel, cry, post a picture or tell a story about Misty, whatever. Your not alone here..Hugs..Ann

Gosh, thanks everyone! Tears are just runnimg down my face today. I don't know what has come over me, I seemed to have "moved on" there for a while.

I think it's just this time of year. Furkidlet's Mom knows all too well, those ofwho ignore the biggest loss in your life. It was this month that I sat off work the entore month 9 months pregnant, with people calling non-stop all excited, never one word about Misty who had been gone less than a month. Misty and I used to watch Little House on the Prairie together, and I would sit o nthe couch all alone crying as people called excited as ever.

I know waht you mean, Ann, I worked Christmas also. We went for a walk with our daughter our old apartment complex, ikept imaging the palces I used to run and catch him. I just wanted to go back in time.

I wish I had more time to respond to everyone individually, but I have work tonight. I will try to respond better to each of you tomorrow. Thanks for the poems, enncouragement, and non-judgmental ears....

Love, amy

it just struck me how particularily difficult this must have been for you Radgirl, we all know the feeling of people not sharing our pain and how cruel this is but to have the situation where you were surrounded by friends and family who were all enthused and excited over you without taking any notice of the big hurt you also carried right along with the precious bundle that was in you, the happy one you would release for others to share but the loss that would never leave you inside.....it is no cliché to say I really feel your pain, quite frankly it is a tragic time no wonder you are reliving it now that you can. I really do believe that Magic was sent your way by Misty, be the physical love that she wants you to have. Bless you, bless all of yours.

Thanks Toonie, good to see another old timer!

We're leaving today for 3 full days (the max we would ever leave a pet!) and little Magic will surely be missed!!!I think the change of scenery will help, getting to a bit warmer weather and not reliving the same environment this time of year.

Thanks everyone for listening this week, you don't know hat your encouragement has mant. I may frame that poem Dottie psoted, it's one of the best I've seen.

Many thanks and peace to all,

Radgirl