I have posted before,and I have written a tribute to my little cat Felix. Tomorrow I am going on a trip for about a week, and am taking the 5 ft tall scatching post that belonged to Felix. My other cat Phoebe has never been interested in it.

When I moved from a rural area to the city of San Diego, I had to keep my wandering cat inside- the apartment and the patio. My husband and I went to a large pet store and found this thing that is very large, but would fit on the large patio.

The effect it had on Felix was incredible! He went outside, kind of circled it, and knew it was for him. It was his "condo". When he went outside, that was HIS property and I was was not allowed to bother him unless he asked me to. So we had to respect the little guy when he was sleeping or guarding the patio.

Tomorrow I am taking the post to a close friend who rescues cats. Many are from horrible homes and end up with her. So she is excited to get it. I vacuumed most of the fur off, and saved some of it, for what purpose, I don't know, but it is still hard to part with it. My husband has not asked me to get rid of it. But I am very sad again, because it is one of the things that belonged to my favorite cat. I never in my life thought I would mourn for a cat for so long. After reading many of the posts, I don't think it is too unusual to feel this way. I had Felix put down on Dec. 5, 2008.

Does anyone else still have this difficulty so long after the death of a pet?

Dear Phoebekitty,

What beautiful pictures of your kitty, Felix! You can just tell how special he was! He was very lucky cat to have such a neat "pad" to call his own and owners who respected that I'm sorry for the heavy heart he has left you with, but I totally understand how you feel and I think it's not at all unusual to still grieve so. Donating his scratching post to other cats in need is a great idea. I understand how your husband feels about it though. My husband and I are still having a really rough time over losing our dog, Abbey. We still have a basket of all her favorite toys in "her" room - by the fireplace where she loved to play and take naps as my husband and I would read or talk together. She was such a big part of our family and our lives. Each time I think about putting the basket away and tossing out the toys, my heart caves. There is one toy especially - a furry red rooster with crazy eyes, flappy wings, and a funny squeak - that Abbey just adored. She'd rip apart all her other squeaky toys after playing with them for a week or two, but she grew very fond of the funny squeak this one made and would never destroy it. She'd make it squeak really slowly or super fast and crack herself up until she got giddy and did a little circle dance around it - and it made us all laugh - which she loved. Now, I occasionally lean down and squeak rooster myself because it's like the voice of Abbey's spirit in a way. I sense that she's still in the room with us by having it there. Of course, now I have tears in my eyes writing this - silly, isn't it? We lost her last January. My husband still gets teary-eyed when he mows the lawn, because he searches for his sentinel - who was always out there on the front steps watching him and making sure he did a good job. He says he still feels her presence out there so strongly. The deeper the love, the greater the loss. Not sure we'll really ever stop missing her. I wish you the best, whatever you decide about the scratching post. It may help to lighten your heart by putting it to such a good cause and cheering up those kitties who've had such a rough go of it. My thoughts and prayers are with you. {{hugs}}

Cyndi

Dear Phoebekitty,
Cyndi is so right about the greater the love, the deeper the loss. I know just how you feel about Felix's scratching post and even keeping some of the fur. It has only been 3 weeks since my Frasier passed away but I still haven't been able to vacuum the room where he last stayed and where he died. I just can't bear the feeling that I am cleaning him away. In a couple of weeks, though, I will have to take care of that awful task because I am expecting company for an evening. I know I will cry the whole time. I think the reason it's so hard to get rid of the material things is because we are still holding on to our babies. Each thing we remove confirms again that they aren't coming back.
I am so sorry about Felix. His pictures are absolutely beautiful! My heart goes out to you as you donate his post.
-Donna

I love the pictures! Especially the second one; several different captions came to mind!

I don't think it's unusual to grieve as long as you have. I'm not very experienced with it myself, but I've known others that have grieved for quite some time. I don't think grieving is a process you can rush through or turn off.

I understand completely about the vacuuming and not wanting to throw away the hair. It was so hard to lose the pet, and each removal of their things is like getting rid of the pet all over again. At least, that is how it works for me.

What a wonderful tribute to Felix to have his post donated to cats that need it! I can't think of a better way for the love you have for Felix to be extended past his death. (that's not worded exactly right, but I hope you get my meaning)

I'm sorry for your pain, one nice thing about this board is being with people that do understand our loses.

I think giving the scratching post to needy kitties is a great idea.

It hasn't even been a year yet. Of course you're still mourning. I am sorry for your loss.

Magdalene

There is one toy especially - a furry red rooster with crazy eyes, flappy wings, and a funny squeak - that Abbey just adored. She'd rip apart all her other squeaky toys after playing with them for a week or two, but she grew very fond of the funny squeak this one made and would never destroy it. She'd make it squeak really slowly or super fast and crack herself up until she got giddy and did a little circle dance around it - and it made us all laugh - which she loved. Now, I occasionally lean down and squeak rooster myself because it's like the voice of Abbey's spirit in a way.
Cyndi and Donna, Those toys are really special. It's like they're still in the room... I have saved a few of his favorites also, espcailly the squeaker mouse. I actually feel like a weight has lifted, by giving the post to a needy home. The memories will always remain, and I have learned how to go on with a normal life. Only once in a while do I really feel sad.
Thanks you for your thoughts.

I love the pictures! Especially the second one; several different captions came to mind!
I don't think it's unusual to grieve as long as you have. I'm not very experienced with it myself, but I've known others that have grieved for quite some time. I don't think grieving is a process you can rush through or turn off.

HI Chele, Thank you for the compliment. It is wonderful to have photographs of our loved ones, and these make me smile. We can't really touch them or speak to them any longer, but it's like they are here when we see an image. I was debating if I should keep it, paint it, convert it, but it needs to be played with by other kitties. As I just replied to AngelBear'sLuv, I am a little glad that I have taken that large post to a good home. I'm OK now.

I think by feeling the weight lifted it's a sign that you did the right thing! I'm glad you are OK now.