My furry friend was born on my front lawn in 1996. His mom was dumped at the school next to me, and had no choice of where to give birth. I found homes for the family, but could not find a home for the "runt". So he became mine.

He was the smallest, but the smartest of the bunch. He always attacked every toy I gave to the kitties, even pushing out the bigger ones. He figured out how I opened the screen door to let them in and out: I found him dangling from the latch but unable to manipulate it. His large feet caught everything that moved: mice, rats, dragnflies, lizards, but not hummingbirds!

My husband did not really think too much of cats when I met him in 1998. Somehow Felix learned how to get my husband to give him snacks, let him out, play with him and scratch him in the "right spot". When I thought that Felix might like Jim better than me, he would sleep at my feet every night. We talked to him and he talked back. He was my friend who did not speak English, but could make his wants known. He owned the house, and we made the payments.

Felix had diabetes, and an enlarged heart, both diagnosed within the last year. He let me give him shots, and I hid his heart meds in Pouce catnip-flavored snacks. He never complained when I took him to the vet, and always purred when we came home. Felix had his front leg amputated (in early November) because of a blood clot, and he was recovering very fast.

We had little footstools and pillows for him to use while he go his legs back. He slept between us purring as usual. When he started limping, he had a biopsy, which diagnosed a fractured hip and a very agressive cancer throughout his body. He was euthanized at our home within a day of the diagnosis. Except for the last 2 days, you would hardly know he was ill.

I am so thankful I had this cat for such a short time! Even as he lay dying, he struggled to purr and to move his little legs when I spoke to him. I told him as he was going that I loved him and would miss him. I know he understood me.

I'm certain he understood you too. The way you spoke about the love you and Felix have echos in your every word. It's obvious just how grateful you were to have been the special one for him to live his life with. Oh what a blessing it truly is for those who know and live the kind of love shared with a furry family member we come to love so much. The wonderful memories you and Felix made together are in your heart forever bound to his. A bond such as yours can never be broken.

I love your upbeat spirit and your positive thoughts expressed as you gave us a peek into this little guy's good life with you. You were a very dedicated Mom, no doubt, who cared for him til the very end. Only worlds separate you for now....but one day you and Felix will reunite in a Heavenly place. He'll be whole again. Life on Earth may be short but eternity is not.

May your happy memories always shine in your heart.

Hugs of comfort from my heart to yours,
Beth

I had a beautiful little Felix who graced our lives for thirteen years, whenever I hear of another cat named Felix it is an irresistible music to my ears. You were truly magnificient throughout his life: Felix has now made his way into your heart, he slumbers in your love until your work here is done and you all rejoin in this magic. Marvellous that you have known such a wonder full cat and loved him so well. You did beautifully by him and his purrs continue for you, from the bottom of your heart.

Your picture of Felix is beautiful. I saw those big paws and smiled.

I am glad to hear of him being in your life and I am sorry it was his time to leave.
You showed your love for him in so many ways and he showed his love his way.

He is in your heart so he can never truly leave. And he is also a very special Angel who
is looking after you every day.

My boy was born to a feral mom in my back yard in 1991 so I relate to that part of your story also.

Unfortunately, I have lost more than one to cancer...the one battle we just can't win.

you ended your story with: I know he understood me.

I have no doubt about that.

If you ever feel like it, post more pictures of your sweet boy. Pictures remind us of the happy, healthy times and can make us smile, even when we think we don't feel like it.

Hugs and wishes for peace and healing for you. He really is a beautiful boy.

Judy

To Judy, Toonie and Beth,

I thank you so much for reading my post from yesterday. Even if no one had responded to it, you know I just had to put it "out there". It is good to know that there are those who understand how much is lost when our pets die. I know that spirits don't disappear, that they go somewhere, but I have not had a real sign that his little spirit is close to me, except in my memory. Now I think of him as he was before he go so sick. That is the hardest to forget, how they look at the end!

I have his ashes, and the paw print that was made of his big paw. I am taking them with me on my Christmas journey to see friends and relatives. It will be a time to reflect and look forward to the new year.

Judy, I have hundreds of pictures and they are very large. I hope to have my stepdaughter help me set up a blog and maybe post a few more. But it is so nice that you liked that one.

I really appreciate those virtual hugs. They mean as much as any sympathy card, and I almost feel normal for short periods. Best wishes for a happy year to all of you.

Felix sounds like such a special cat to give you forever memories. The love you two have for eachother will last a lifetime.. He was so lucky you found him and gave him a wonderful life. I understand how hard it is to lose something so wonderful. He's a beauty too. Hugs..Ann

And how they pay us back! They seem to know that were it not for the kind person they would have had an ugly and short life.
Perfect love and perfect trust and the best and most beautiful friendship. Every day with us is a celebration for them.
It's just too bad that saying Goodbye hurts so much. But it just means that what we lost is that valuable.

Ann, It has been almost a month, but my thoughts drift back to him throughout the day. I know that each day will get easier. The hardest thing is that the love for that individual is not returned anymore, at least in the previous form. I appreciate your support.

Jon, It is unexpected to receive such love and devotion from such small creatures. They go from 'being just a cat" to become a friend or child or wife. The relationship between Felix and me was that special one. Like you and Miles, the bond is as strong as any human relationship. Since he was resued from certain death, every day was a gift, but more for me than for him. Thank you.

A month is really a "blink of an eye" in time. Not long at all. Yes, time does eventually help us feel more like we are in control of our feelings...but we know that emptiness never truly goes away.
Like you said about the love not being returned physically..like it was. Yes, I agree. We will miss that part more than anything as time goes by. We know they loved us and their soul and spirit will always love us..just as we love them. But we miss so much being able to hug them again.

I did keep some fur from my boy and at times, it helps to fill a small part of that physical need to touch them once again. The fur is as soft as he always was and it truly is a part of him. Thank goodness I had hairbrushes...so I could save this. That helps me at times.

Hugs to you and your Angel, Felix. He looks after you 24/7...cause that's what Angels do.
Judy

The last month has been hard, but each day gets a little bit better. I'd like to think that his spirit is still with me- I know that in my memory he will always be alive. I savor those wonderful memories of happiness and recall them when I am most sad. It is really at night that is the most difficult, because there is nothing to distract.
To know that you and others are supportive makes all the difference. Thank you.

Felix's 13th birthday was last week. I thought about writing something on that day, but just couldn't focus. I think of him every day, not with much sadness, unless I dwell on the subject. I come to this forum occasionally, but do not do it every day, because it brings back memories. I do still talk to Felix, and tell him that I love him. It's kind of a habit, and the dilema is what to do with all that love for one cat?

The story that makes me smile most concerns his need for attention. When I or my husband were in the house, he usually greeted us, and hung around us, although we were not allowed to pick him up an cuddle him. However, he played with his toys, and wanted us to throw the mouse, rubber band, or feather toy until he was tired. Sometimes he would jump on the kitchen table (aren't all cats allowed to do that?) and meow at us. If I or my husband were too busy to pay attention to him, he would take that big paw and nudge something off of the table to the floor. He would look at us, waiting for a reaction. When nothing happened, another little nudge came and papers would fall on the floor. We would ignore him, but eventually he would be scolded by my husband and scamper off to look for more trouble.

He started a variation of this technique at 4 or 5 am in the morning. because his food bowl was empty! If I did not put enough in the bowl, he would scream at me from the floor, and then jump next to me and put that paw on my mouth! If I covered my face, he would jump on the bureau and start knocking things off the top, until I told him "to get down!" Even if he left me alone, I could never go back to sleep, and had to get up and feed him anyway. I eventually had to cover my bureau with clothes and stuffed animals so Felix could not jump up. He never stopped waking me up a few minutes before the alarm each day. I think he just liked to get me up each day.

Things are getting better. I am posting one of his first pictures-amazing big paw! Judy asked me to post some of him, and perhaps, she will see them.

Happy Birthday Felix.

Thank you, it's nice to know there are others out there who care.

thinking of You and Your precious Felix

what a beautiful boy
beautiful photos
thanks for sharing

Eva
with
Jimmy Klinger
Felix von Hollabrunn

Thank you Eva,

It is an odd pleasure I get from seeing his photos, but I can't dwell on them too long.
Mona

Angel Care One,
This is a beutiful poem! It makes me cry to read it, but the sentiment is so touching. I have had doubts whether he is still hanging around...
Thank you so much!
Mona