Missing My Kurby, So devasated Options

[Kurbysma]

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I lost my 4 1/2 year old yorkie terrier,Kurby, tuesday. He was hit by a car appx 5 mins before I got home from work. My husband had let him out to use the bathroom and he crossed the road to pee on our mailbox. I have never felt such devestation and sorrow. I dont know if I can recover from this. I was his life and he was mine. I got him when he was 6 wks old and I was a traveling nurse. He went with me everywhere and he never left my side. He was my baby! He was 2 when I met my husband. I dont think my husband understands my grief. He wants to be there for me but I'm hurting in a way he cant understand. And I have alot of anger inside as to why he wasnt watching him and allowed him to get in the road. I also have alot of rage towards the person who DID NOT stop once they hit him. We buried him in a box (with his fav toys) under his fav tree in the front yard and we are making him a memorial garden and I will plant flowers in the spring and put a little bench out there so we can go talk to him. I ordered him a headstone/garden stone with his name on it as well. Anyone out there been thru a similar situation and have any advice? I know it has to get better but I just cant see that far ahead yet. I'm attaching a pic of him. Luckily I had just taken a bunch of pics of him this past saturday.

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[Phinny1]

I'm so sorry about your loss. One thing I can see building is resentment towards your husband for not watching him. It's easy to be angry right now but don't let that get in your relationship with your husband. I'm sure he feels some guilt for what happened and knows you are angry and grieving. It may help when you've calmed down a bit and can talk to him without getting overly emotional, to talk with him. Explain to him why you are angry and why you feel the way you do. He may not be able to have the depth of feeling you do since you had Kurby since he was a pup, but at least you'll get your feelings out.
Now it's so hard to see, but you will feel better in time. It's best to concentrate on the good times you had with Kurby and the joy he brought to your life. Give yoursefl time to grieve and know that you can come here anytime for support.

[LittleGirl's...]

!!!! Your whole world was turned upside-down in an instant. I am so sorry!!! And angry!

As I read your post, I felt stabs to my heart. I know it must be hard to see anything bright in your future again. The bright spots will be there, but in the meantime this heavy grief, over this senseless tragedy, haunts you.

IF the roles had been reversed, and it was you who had been killed and not Kurby, I am sure you would want your sweet Kurby to be able to go on---and he wants the same for you. He'd hate to see you suffer too much. I know this is easier said than done, and it will take time. Come to this site as often as you can (when I lost my Little Girl, I practically lived on this site and even kept my computer on during the night in case I woke up because I wanted to be surrounded by those who could truly understand the depth of my grief. ). I also watched a lot of movies, and I talked to absolutely no one who wouldn't understand the intensity of this type of grief.

Was your husband close to Kurby? Is he able to get in touch with his feelings? I wonder if he's just still in shock?

Kurby's spirit is in bliss now. I completely believe that he isn't aware that you and he are separated because his spirit is in a realm where there's no sense of time or space separation from those of us who are still in our physical bodies. When it is your time to pass, your spirit will be fully reunited with his.

So, he is fine----but the grief is so heavy for you! I hope we can help share this unbelievable burden, and take some of the load off you. Please keep in close touch---about how you're doing, how your husband is supporting you, etc. etc.

You will be in my prayers!! Again, I'm so sorry I can't even express. Tears are in my eyes right now, just thinking about what you are going through.

Love, and comforting hugs,
-Kathy

[Kurbysma]

Thank you both for your kind words. The past few days has been very hard on me and things are getting a little better. I got alot of my feelings and frustrations out yesterday towards my husband and he understands.....he is hurt as well as I do believe he loved Kurby very much. I still cant help but have alot of anger and blame towards him. Only God can help me thru this now. I decided to dig Kurby up yesterday and we took him to his vet to be cremated. We will bring him home and put him on a special mantel amongst all his pictures. We are devoting an entire wall to 8x10 pics of him as I took alot of them over the years. I am attaching a pic I took of him just this past saturday basking in the sun as he loved to do. I will continue to visit this site often because I think this will help me as well. Our preacher is coming over next week when we get Kurby's ashes back and we will have a memorial service for him. We are still going to do a memorial garden for him with a waterfall and a little pond. Keep praying for us.......

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