Let's Introduce Ourselves Options

[wchamilton]

After all of the support, sympathy and help you all have given me the past several days I thought I'd pop in here and actually introduce myself.

*ahem*

My name is William Clay Hamilton, but I go by Clay. I'm 38 years old and live in Chenango Forks, New York, and I work at a hospital here doing technical support. I'm married and have been with my wife since we were in high school, which is going on 21 years. We have an 18-year old son who's about to start his third semester of college.

We've always had animals. We have two lab huskies (we call them purebred Huskadors) named Miya and Takoda, and until this past Sunday we had a Doberman/Shepard/?? mix named Winston (RIP). We also have two black cats named Angel and Nala, but they literally are so identical looking that you can't tell them apart.

In our spare time my wife and I are avid video game players and we like to watch movies and are avid readers. I also play a bit of bass guitar and fancy myself to be an amateur photographer... I'm also a huge military aviation nerd; my wife and I took a weekend trip to Washington DC in May to see The Blue Angels.

Here's a picture of us that was taken last year at Disneyland.



And here's a sample of some of the pictures I took at the airshow in May::

[advocate]

Thank you Moon Beam. Your generous offerings mean so much to me. Angelo has stopped going to the bedroom window bed to sleep. You see, it use to be that Pood always slept on this one pillow over to the right. A little over a month ago, Angelo started sleeping there, and Pood claimed a spot next to there, but she would mostly jump onto the wardrobe in an attempt to take his spot. The other day, I peaked into the fort and saw Angelo laying with his head on the pillow, but his body where Pood laid last. He had his nose in a certain area of the pillow and was breathing in her scent. He has not returned to that area since the other day. I took a picture, I will have to post it somehow.

Angelo and I are still grieving very deeply, and have reached a quiet, slow phase. It is like things are moving in slow motion. I catch a glimpse of Pood out of the corner of my eye once and a while, as I am sure he does too. He also lays at the bottom of the patio curtain, but not directly where Pood always laid...he is either on one side or the other, but never in that exact spot.

One thing he did that was amazing was he laid in a spot he never laid in before. There is a spot between the kitchen and living room where I put up a corner face rubbing contraption. Pood was the only one who used it, Angelo never touched it. Well, Angelo laid right there, starting at it. His eyes would open wide and look, then his eyes would close. That was the other day. Then today when he walked by the contraption, he smelled it, then rubbed his cheek on it. Then later on when he walked by it, he swiped his tail across it. He would never go near that thing, and I still don't know why. I suppose it was Pood's territory. Angelo never liked to rub his face on the corners, maybe because Pood was always the dominant cat, even though she was much smaller than him.

Anyway, thank you for sharing your heartfelt stories with me. It really helps me to understand what is going on right now.

Me personally, I had to move Pood's pictures out of direct sight. It is difficult enough to hold back the tears just from thinking about her. But sometimes when I think I am getting better, I see her picture and break down all over again, on the floor, wailing, assuming it was all my fault, why didn't I just pick her up, hold her, and let her die in my arms rather than toting her off to the ER...playing her death over and over again in my mind.

I am still in the process of accepting that it was a stroke and I was powerless. I mostly am having a hard time because not only did I handle it wrong (I should have just held her), but also, I don't want to mess anything up the second time around with Angelo. But I had no idea how serious it was...I thought she could be saved. It all happened so fast and suddenly.

Pood actually saved my life a couple of times. Once, I was moving across the country and my car caught on fire. I wouldn't have known there was a fire except Pood came running up into my lap and clawing at my chest (I didn't have a carrier at that time). When I pulled over, my car was smoking and there was a small fire under the hood, from a blown power steering or something, I don't recall what the mechanical failure was.

Thanks again Moon Beam.