Good morning all,

As I sit here this morning as I do every morning enjoying a few moments of peace before the day begins, I find myself with an empty lap. That's where my baby girl would curl up every chance she got, savoring this time with me and me with her. This is the second morning since she's been gone....My other furbaby, Tyler is behind m head sprawled in HIS usual spot, but I can't help missing my 5lb bundle of purr.*sigh*

Peggy, thank you so much for your kind words last night. I wish I was half as articulate as you are. You must have a very kind and compassionate heart to be able to reach out to people as you do.

Thank you all for being here.

Shelby, aka kaylasmom

Hi, Shelby, just want to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the loss of your beloved companion. Losing a beloved companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we have been blessed with the privilege of their company. Perhaps sometime you will feel up to posting a picture of your precious furchild, and sharing some of your treasured memories with us - - if / when you should feel up to it / would want to do so.

It doesn't matter if it's our first, fifth, tenth, fiftieth - - thousandth - - loss of a beloved companion -- this grief journey is always a challenge to endure. The goal of this grief journey is not to "accept" the physical absence of our beloved copmanion but rather is one of "adjustment". Even though we no longer share a physical journey with our beloved companions, we are blessed with the presence of their sweet Living Spirits to comfort and cheer us as we continue with our earthly journey. For the love bond we share with our beloved companions is eternal, Shelby - - it is not confined to the physical laws of time and space.

Shelby, I hope you will know you are among friends here who do understand first hand what you are going through, and each of us are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Shelby, and look forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi moon_beam,

I'm not really up to posting this evening but I wanted to thank you for taking the time to provide me with kind words of comfort and caring.

Thank you for the thoughts and prayers as well, I'm a firm believer we can NEVER get too many of those.

Shelby (kaylasmom)

Hello kayla's mom

Just a short message to let you know that I'm SO sorry about the passing of your Kayla and that good wishes and strength are coming your way from Gretta's mom.

GM

Hi kaylasmom,

I am so very sorry for the loss of your baby. I lost my beloved doggie baby Abby last Wednesday and like you I have an empty lap and an empty heart.

Though it's only been a week, I am coming to terms with her loss, at least sort of. I miss her every minute of every day but I am coping. I've created a shrine of sorts with her urn, photos, toys and momentos of our 16 1/2 years together and every night I light a candle in her memory.

I know it will get better with time but damn this is HARD isn't it?

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

God bless you and your precious Kayla

Dear Shelby (a.k.a. Kaylasmom),

I don't even know where to start. First, thank you for your kind compliment but honestly, your story was extremely well expressed - you brought tears to my eyes and it took a great deal of effort to keep them from falling (I'm afraid that if I start, I won't stop). Your pain was so vivid in your writing, my heart broke for you going through all that alone AND not having the 'luxury' of grieving and allowing some of the pain to be released from your broken heart. What I got from your story, aside from the obvious, is that you're a very loving and compassionate woman who places the needs of others above your own needs - and probably does that almost all the time. It's a wonderful trait to have but the price is, you may end up holding yourself to an impossible standard of perfection. I wish there was a way you could take a little time for yourself so you can just let go and allow some of your pain to come out through tears. I personally hate crying but I have to admit, when dealing with the extreme emotion that comes from loss, crying is a great release. I don't think I've ever cried as much as I did in the first weeks after I lost my precious Peggy. And I want to wish you a belated Happy Birthday - and I'm so sorry it now has such a painful association. LoveMyMickey has a similar situation, her husband's Birthday is either on the day, or a day or two before/after, the day they lost Mickey (can't remember which right now, too tired!). I can't imagine how difficult that is for you.

I understand missing having Kayla in your lap. As others know (and I think may have already posted to you), every 'first' and every ritual/tradition you have that involved Kayla is an adjustment. And it's incredibly difficult. While we're aware of their presence, they become even more conspicuous by their absence and it takes a concentrated effort to get through it. At these times, please try to remember that the love you shared still exists, and so does Kayla. Her beautiful spirit as been released from her body but she still exists. I’m sure she misses you and your morning ritual as much as you do and she’s probably hanging around you, trying to comfort you and let you know she’s okay. She no longer has any of the physical limitations or ailments she had to contend with while here. She has been freed from all that and above all, I’m sure she’s trying to communicate her continuing love for you.

Please know that you, Kayla and your family continue to be in my prayers. When you have time (with that incredibly busy schedule of yours!), please let us know how you’re doing.

Please take care of yourself,

Peggy (the human)

Hi all,

Just wanted to say hello and post this picture of Kayla Rose. It is not the most flattering picture of my girl but it sure shows her spirit!

Kaylasmom

Dear Kaylasmom,

I'm so sorry for the loss of your sweet Kayla Rose. I understand about your empty lap. My Mickey liked to sit in my lap and watch TV. When I think of him being gone, a sinking empty feeling comes over me. I feel so bad for everyone here that has lost a furbaby.

I echo what Peggy has said. She always has the right words to comfort us.

Kaylasmom, I do hope your days and nights get better as time goes by. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. God Bless...

P.S. Cute pic of Kayla...


LoveMyMickey

Hi all,

Thank you again for all your kind words of caring and support. Clearly I am no computer genius as my original post ended up in the tech support section, and when I posted the first pic of Kay it came out sideways!

My husband managed to get home for the day yesterday, it was his first time here since Kayla passed on. It was good though, we were able to grieve together instead of by phone.

I'm going to try this picture thing again, hope this time it won't cramp people's neck to look at it.

Hi Kaylasmom,

Thank you for letting us know how you're doing and I'm so glad you're husbad's finally home. It does help to have loved ones around while we're struggling with the grieving process. And thank you for sharing the pics of Kayla. What a beautifl girl she was, so regal looking in the second pic!! I admit, the first pic was my favorite, where she's sticking her head into the jar - priceless and adorable!

You and your family continue to be in my prayers and I hope you have some time to grieve, now that your husband is back home.

Big hug to you, Kayla's Mom!

Peggy

Hi, Shelby, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing and for the wonderful pictures of your precious Kayla. She is an adventurous spirit, so rest assured she is sharing all of her adventures with each of our beloved companions in heaven's perfect garden. I just hear my Eli asking your Kayla, "how in the world did you do that???" with your first picture - - as my Eli was quite an adventurous spirit, too!!!

Sometimes during the deep grief pictures can be a two sided coin - - on the one side you have all the wonderful memories in your heart while on the other side of the coin your heart is breaking looking at these wonderful memories without the precious physical presence of your beloved Kayla to hold in your arms. Thank you so much for sharing these wonderful memories with us, Shelby, and I hope you feel comforted by both these wonderful memories as well as each of our responses to you.

Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Shelby, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi All,

I can't believe it's been one whole week since my sweet Kay-Kay (yes, a cat of many names) passed on. My lap is still empty, my heart is still broken, and I still miss her. Not quite as fiercely, but it's pretty intense at times. Today I worked up the nerve to open the sympathy card sent to me by the vet's office. I was surprised to receive one since it was not my regular vet but the emergency clinic I rushed her to. It has a wonderful quote inside that I think all of us can identify with:

"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, Love leaves a memory no one can steal"

As always, thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your kind words of caring and support. It really means a lot.

Shelby (kaylasmom)

Hi Shelby,

You're right. The time flies by almost faster than we can comprehend. I have felt that same way since Peggy passed 11 weeks ago. I have no idea where the time has gone or how I've managed to keep moving forward without her. I couldn't even fathom 11 weeks in the future when she passed. And yet, here we are. You will always miss your Kay-Kay but the intense pain will subside to a deep sadness and then one day (I'm told), you'll be able to remember them with smiles and love, tinged with sadness and longing but not the intense pain the initial event brought. I hope that's true.

I like your nickname of Kay-Kay. Peggy was my dog's nickname, her formal name was Lady Pegasus and I often called her Pegus. She liked them all. Actually, when she packed on a few pounds several years back, she'd become ecstatic when I'd say 'who's my fatty, fatty, fatty?" LOL It made her feel loved so I guess it's all in the tone, the look and the intent.

Thank you for sharing that wonderful quote. It's beautiful in it's thought and simplicity. It was very nice of you to share it with all of us.

I hope you're doing well and you continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.

Please take care of yourself.

Peggy (the human)

Hi Peggy,

I know from previous experience that this does pass. Having that knowledge doesn't make it any easier though. Before Kayla I had 2 wonderful boy cats. My mom got me Kissy when I was 8. He was my constant childhood companion before passing away when he was 15. Bailey came into my life when I was 19. My parents had bought a new home and the previous owners didn't want him anymore. Bailey died Oct.1995 from antifreeze poisoning, he was an outdoor cat when I got him and I never could turn him into a homebody. Kissy passed on Christmas Day 1995. 2 boys in 2 months. I always said Kayla taught me to love again. I adopted her 12-30-95 from a shelter at the age of 8 months and we had 15.5 years together.

Kayla will always be my baby girl. I still don't know how such a tiny little cat, her heaviest weight was just 6.5 pounds, could leave such a gaping hole in my life.

Sorry to ramble on so much. This is the first time I've been completely alone since. Well, as my Ty cat just reminded me (he literally just swatted me in the head), not completely alone, just no humans around.

Hi, Shelby, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing, and for sharing with us about the wonderful, thoughtful sympathy card that the ER vet sent to you. What a beautiful sentiment and oh so true. Thank you so much for sharing this with us.

Empty arms and empty laps are very difficult to adjust to - - very painful both emotionally and physically. I am so sorry that your precious Bailey and Kissy joined the angels so close to each other, and particularly with Bailey being poisoned by anti-freeze. I'm so glad you have enjoyed so many years together with your precious Kayla. You are so right - - it doesn't matter what life form our beloved companion is, how big or small they are, the gender, or how long we have been blessed with the privilege of their company - - they each give to us their unconditional love and undivided attention, and when they precede us to the angels our hearts and our lives do feel like a part of us missing. And that is because our precious companions do take a part of us with them so that they can have a part of us that only belongs to them with them while they patiently wait for us to join them in eternal joy at our appropriate time. The good news is that we are blessed with our cherised memories and our beloved companions' sweet Living Spirit forever in our hearts and memories.

Shelby, thank you again so much for sharing with us how you're doing, and for letting us know that your precious Ty is there to offer you comfort and encouragement. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Shelby, and look forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thank you for your continuing compassion and support. I don't know if its appropriate but I'm attaching a picture of Tyler Michael. He has really been a comfort to me, trying to do his best to be a fur friend and sometimes giving me a realty check like he did this afternoon when he swatted me upside the head. He's a very large boy, around 25lbs even though he was the runt of the litter. He's 12 now and I am trying to get some weight off of him. Anyway, I hope you all think he's as handsome as Mommy does!

Hi, Shelby, thank you so much for sharing this precious picture of your handsome Tyler with us. Our furkids do know how to get our attention, don't they? I know your precious Tyler is a blessing to you, and hope that you both will have many happy and healthy years together.

Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Shelby, and look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

hi kayla's mom your tyler is one handsome boy! i'm feeling the empty lap very much today, it's a week since i lost my mischief and much harder and lonelier than i thought, i am trying so hard to remember all the good things cos i know on balance that the pain at her loss was outweighed by the joy and love we shared for 17 years, but damn i miss her, i hope it gets easier for you

Hi leejaye,

Your Mischief sure was one beautiful kitty. I'm sorry you're having such a rough time today, the one week mark was tough on me too. Just try to be good to yourself. That's really all you can do. It does get easier with time. The sense of loss remains constant but at least I can close my eyes now and remember Kay in happier times instead of as she was the day she passed. And I do have Ty to help but he is not a lap snuggler and if you try to pick him up there will be bloodshed! Kay was nearly always in the same room and if I sat down for more then a minute she would curl up on my lap. Ty will lay near me but not on me. I miss those snuggles.

Take care,
Shelby (kaylasmom)

Hi kayla'smom,

Thanks for your sweet post in my Abby topic. Your Kay-kay was a sweetie pie! She reminds me of my cat Murphy and strangely enough your Tyler looks almost identical to my other cat Quincy (they could be brothers). I am glad that your husband got home and I know his being there helps you a lot. I hope the day was good to you and that you are doing as well as any of us can be at this stage of the grief process.

I continue to be blown away by the compassionate people on this site. I feel like I could sit down with a glass of wine and talk to any of you for hours. There is a sympatico among true, for real pet lovers. They're just "good people".

Abby's Mom