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Zpinal
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Zpinal

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1 Mar 2014
A week ago today, I had to make the painful decision of relieving my dear Minoune from her terminal CRF. After going through Anticipatory grief during her illness, her passing was hard but I knew I did the right thing. During the 3 days my greiving was intense but got shorter as I realized that I was only thinking of what I went through the last few months instead of thinking about the great 13 years she gave me.

Last Tuesday I stopped by a place called Thepetconnection, this place rescue pets, pay for their shots and neutering/castration and never put an animal to sleep, they do not just sell pets, they evaluate if you are qualified to adopt one of their pets. I wasn't sure if I was ready to adopt a new cat yet but I went over to that place, explained what i went through and asked if i could see the cats closer than just through a window, they let me in the cats room, all were overwhelmingly friendly but there he was, that beautiful cat looking at me. As I bent to grab him in my arms, he did what Minoune used to do, he got up on his back paws and then licked my nose, I knew that was Minoune telling me «this one».

2 days later I went again to inquire about his age and was astonished to learn he was only 9 months old, he is big and weight a whooping 11 pounds, that's when the idea of Tiny as a name sparked. We know that this domestic cat has some Maine Coon in him and was probably born with that gene on the strong side. I made a donation to thepetconnection and signed the adoption contract which includes a 3 days to 1 week trial period to make sure the cats and new owners adapt well and everything is fine. We are on the second day now and Tiny is a happy loving cat.

A couple of people questioned the fact that i got this pet really fast after Minoune's passing, I am actually honoring Minoune's life by saving one of her peers and giving him a second chance at life, isn't this the best gift?

So here he is! presenting Tiny! wink.gif
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23 Feb 2014
First of all I am kinda happy i found this forum, some of the posts in here and in the New Beginning Section help me a bit but still I am at loss. I am a man well in my 30s now and living alone. Please excuse any grammar mistakes you may encounter, English isn't my first language.

Minoune was my domestic female cat for almost 13 years, I had her since she was a kitten and could fit in my hands. She wasn't the most cuddly cat and not the most social with other people than me. However she would always purr when I pet her, kiss me(lick my nose) if I put my nose against hers, come to say good night when I go to sleep for a minute or 2 and then lay at my feet for a while, she was almost always following me all over the place and would be in the window to greet me when I got home from work. During the holidays I noticed she seems to have lost a lot of weight and I had a sibling that hasn't seen my cat in a while to confirm, his reaction was «dude, your cat melt, shes about half the size I remember». Then I had noticed she seems to be using the litter box and drinking lots and lots of water (you know where it leads to by now I am sure).

I did some research on the net and the symptoms led to a couple things, I finally took her to the vet on January 11th and after some blood tests, the Diagnostic was made: Chronic Renal Failure (or Chronic Kidney Disease). The vet immediately recommended antibiotics (Baytril) for 14 days but I stopped them after 10 days because the side effects were nasty made her sick. Sub-Q twice per week to keep her Hydrated and a special diet were also recommended. We schedule a follow up a month later on Feb 7th for another checkup.

On Feb 7th checkup, she still had lost weight even tough she was eating (not as much as before but enough to survive) and the blood works results didn't show noticeable improvements, furthermore, we also found out her potassium levels were too low and that she became Anemic. The vet didn't tell me a fairy tale and just looking at her, I knew my cat didn't have long, she told me to go back to a more energetic food and to give sub-Q daily from now on, my fears were confirmed when she schedule a call back for a week later.

On Feb 14th the Vet called back, at the time she was still eating but I could tell she was becoming more and more lethargic. The vet said if I had any question to not hesitate to call her. I asked her how long does my cat has to live, she said that she cannot make that kind of prognostic but that her illness was in a very advanced phase. My heart sunk.

2 days later on Feb 16th she stopped eating all together, the next day she started to hide in a closet and was sleeping all the time drinking water only when I brought the bowl of fresh water in the closet, she was getting out only to use the litter box, getting too weak to even come out to greet me when I was coming home from work. (What I really call work is school since I am in between 2 careers and taking a full time course). I tried to stimulate her appetite with Tuna mixed with water after I heat it a bit in the microwave she would take a couple licks but that's it, I also tried chicken and beef baby food and I had to insist a lot for her to take some lick at that spoon. As the days go by she was getting weaker and I was already experiencing Anticipatory grief knowing the end was near. The few times she came out of the closet she was sometimes losing balance. It was heartbreaking.

I called the vet again to inquire about how they administer the .... On Saturday morning Feb 22nd around 10AM, My baby was put to sleep at age 12 and 8 months.

I am a total wreck now. I know I did the right thing to free her from that beast called CRF, I feel so much anger toward that CRF beast for getting its claws on her and ripped her away from me so fast. I feel guilty to not have assisted to her last moments, I just couldn't bare it, I trust the vet hospital where I went to have done it quickly and painlessly, I hope her soul will forgive me. I used to jokingly answer «yes?» when someone said «oh my god». The higher powers have allowed me to «play god» in making the decision to end me beloved Minoune suffering, thus ending her life, it's no joke at all. I also got rid of the food plates, litter box and some items like a towel she was laying on because it hurts too much.

I also look at the SPCA shelters for another cat when I'll be ready, I am thinking of changing some furniture spots and will probably put cat food and litter box on different location on my next cat so I can build a new relationship without being tempted to compare Minoune with the new cat. Looking back I think she was sick for at least a year (throwing up more often) but I have no way to know. What if I had taken her to the vet sooner? I can't blame myself for not knowing but that question keep coming back in my mind.

I don't pretend to be very spiritual but not long after i came back home Saturday morning, the sun came out and I am not sure if its the morning sun mix with my teary eyes but I've never seen my house so bright and last night I dreamt of my cat kissing me in the sense of saying «its okay». But its probably just wishful thinking.
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