Has Your Loss/grief Changed Relationships/how You Feel About People?

So the question I have of you is this, has the loss of your dearly-beloved, your grief, seemed to change either your relationships with some people, or how you feel about some people, or how you feel about people in general?

I’ve lost my Molly-girl. It’s hit me like a ton of bricks. The grief has been so, SO heavy and feels unbearable at times. I’ve wanted to die. But mostly, to the appearance of others I’ve kept any outward expression of my deep grief mostly to myself, though I do tell them I’m “heartbroken” over the loss.

To my surprise, I’m feeling a shift in the relationship I’m having with others…or, at least the way I feel about them. I have a few very close friends and a wide circle of “friends and acquaintances.” I’ve been telling people about Molly’s passing, mostly by email, sometimes in person, sometimes by phone. I’m so, SO very surprised by the individuals who say nothing. I tell them Molly died and that I am heartbroken over it and their response: nothing. Nada. Some don’t even say “oh, gee, I’m sorry.” They don’t even mention it at all. Really? I’m a little surprised by that. There are those who say they “are sorry” but nothing more, not asking how I am, that’s about it. There are a very few who really understand--and they are a God-send. They, along with this web-site, have buoyed me up through this.

So I ask this question of you, because I feel this is going to change my relationship with some people—maybe how I feel about people in general??? Not necessarily in a “bad” way, but in some kind of way for sure (probably not positive, though). I guess, if I were honest, I feel disappointed in the people who said nothing. I normally always give the benefit of the doubt to people; I’m always the person who understands why someone cut me off in traffic (I am always sure something’s going on in their life that is distracting them). So when someone says nothing, or little about the passing of my beloved pet, I have to believe that it is because it hits a nerve with them, or they’ve not gone through it, or it strikes fear in their hearts.

In addition to my very, very deep grief, I am also now feeling somewhat sad that I’m feeling that my relationships with some people will change. So not only have I lost my dearly-beloved friend, I’m in some way losing “other” parts of my life, as they were, as well. Frankly, I feel like my life will never be the same, even though I do hold some hope that this intense pain will let up with time, but somehow, I will never be the same. At this moment, life just feels oh-so sad, so very, very sad.

Does anyone have any thoughts on this? Your experience? Do you feel some relationships, or how you feel about people--either specifically or in generally, has changed as a result of you loss and grieving?

Numb

Just this Tuesday, March 11, we lost our 16-yr old cat to lung cancer. She was getting old and I knew the day was coming that I'd lose her. We had her from a baby and she was just that--my "baby." We didn't know she had lung cancer until we took her to the vet because of a cough she'd developed, but turned out to be lung cancer and the vet said she had maybe a week to live. We decided to not let her suffer and just put her to sleep then and there. I am heartbroken beyond words. At this point in time I just really wish I could die too. And I'm not a "weak" person by any means, but this really feels like more than I can handle. I honestly can't imagine how I'll ever get over her. I think of the bezillion people who have lost loved ones (people and pets) who seem to get "over" it, get on with their lives, but honestly, right now, it seems an impossibility. All I can think is that I just wish I was dead. (and no, I'm not going to kill myself--but I wish I could) I feel like I'm just walking around in a fog right now, I couldn't care less about anything. And what does make it all the worse (if that's possible) is I just feel like no one understands.