Tom And Me, The Beginning, The Making of a Pet Parent Options

[Tom's Dad]

Those of you that have read my early posts shortly after the passing of my Sir Thomas are aware I was, to say the least, not at my best with him toward the end. It was like that too in the beginning....

It started in the summer of 2005. A female friend I had made over the internet who lived in another city was lamenting her poor lot in life and longed to move to either Lexington or Louisville (the 2 largest in Kentucky, the latter being my home) to get a fresh start. But she lacked the resources to even begin. I decided to try to help her out and offer her a place to stay free of charge until she got on her feet. Enter Tom. He was a cat she had gotten from a friend, neighbor, or co-worker (who can keep it all straight) Seems he had wandered into her yard lost and alone. At the time, I also had a cat, Miss Kitty (a story for another time) Tom was fearful of strangers, men especially which I found out to my chagrin when I tried to pick him up and he slapped my glasses clear across the room. He would run, hide, hiss, and growl. Her solutiion? Beat him up and toss him in his carrier. For reasons I still cannot comprehend, not only did I go along with it, I even teased him a bit when in said carrier. He would hiss and growl and swat. But, one evening in his "time out" we made eye contact. He looked at me, sad and forelorn. If he could speak I would almost swear he was saying "Why are you mocking me? Can you not see that I am just so very scared?"

At that moment it's like a switch inside me was flipped. I opened the carrier door and let him free. I announced to my "house guest" this was MY apartment where I pay the bills and she is just a guest, free of charge. I went on to state that the nightly beatings and throwing into the carrier were OVER! If Tom wants to hide, then he shall be allowed to do so and come out and about in his own time and way. Each night after that I would bring treats to the edge of the chair under which he liked to hide. Each night I could get just a little closer, until eventually he was taking them right out of my hand. At that point I told him I was sorry for the poor treatment and that I knew what it was like to be mistreated due to simply being misunderstood. I made an effort to get to know him as an individual. Not just what his "owner" thought he should be. From then on, we were inseparable. On the day she came with her family to collect her things (with police escort at my insistance, also another story) he hid until they had gone.

All of my life I've had and been around cats. I was fond of every one of them. But I now know that all those years, I was a pet owner, not a pet parent. It was not until Tom came along and through our love and bond that I was transformed into a pet parent. Without his influence I would not be the pet parent I am now to Theresa and Tang.

Be well at the Bridge my friend, Sir Thomas. You made a better person of me and you are missed.....

[xxForeverxx]

Hi Tom's Dad

I have followed your earlier stories although always kept quiet. I just wanted to say how in the end it did not matter how you started off with Sir Thomas. You gave him so much love and did the one thing that by the sounds of it was not possible and made him love a male! If you had allowed your baby to go with that woman he would not, for a fact, have had the life you gave him as he would have still been shoved in the carrier etc and neglected. You taught him to trust again. You gave him a reason to love you and by the sounds of it he taught you a few things too which is one of the things I have realised after losing my Chewy. Our animals teach us so many more things then we realise. I am sure he is at the bridge telling you not to be so hard on yourself about the beginnings and the ends, which compared to the rest of the journey you shared together, does not really matter.

My deepest sympathies for your loss but also I am glad to be hearing the good things with Theresa and Tang.

xxForeverxx

[Tom's Dad]

Thank you xxForeverxx

As I recall, Tang was also fearful of human males when they put me and Theresa in the room at vet's office. But I suppose what Tom had taught me me came through. In a silent vigil and my best attempt at a soothing voice, he came right over to me. To this day, I believe that Tom's spirit lead that little guy to me.

[moon_beam]

Hi, Tracy, thank you so very much for sharing your and your beloved Sir Thomas' earthly journey with us. I totally agree with Forever: "I am sure he is at the bridge telling you not to be so hard on yourself about the beginnings and the ends, which compared to the rest of the journey you shared together, does not really matter."

There truly is a difference between being an "owner" and a "parent/guardian/caregiver/steward" of our precious companions. I never liked the word "owner" as it implies "property" and our precious companions are living breathing feeling creatures - - not a car or sofa or tv, etc.. I am so very, very glad that you opened yourself to your beloved Sir Thomas so that he could show you the difference which brought a new awareness of love to your heart. You are to be commended for this, Tracy, and your beloved Sir Thomas is beaming with pride in his Forever Dad.

Thank you so very much for sharing your beloved Sir Thomas with us, Tracy, and thank you for being here with us in this wonderful forum. Please know you and your precious Theresa and little Tang are in my thoughts and prayers, my friend, and that I always look forward to sharing your news and your treasured memories of your beloved Sir Thomas.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Tom's Dad]

Well, Sir Thomas

Yesterday marked 1 year and 3 months to the day you went over the Rainbow Bridge. Bet you thought I forgot, huh? No my little man cat, I can and will NEVER forget about you, the 5 wonderful years we had, and how it was all too brief It seems I have found myself in a similar situation with your little brother Tang in that he needs a medical procedure that I cannot afford and am now once again looking for work, They say it isn't life threatening (yet) as was ultimately in your case, but waiting can't be good. Say a little prayer up there for us your family down here on earth baby boy. We will always keep you in our hearts and souls. Be good up there Sir Thomas.

Love,
Dad

[moon_beam]

Hi, Tracy, thank you so much for sharing your and your beloved Sir Thomas' angel-versary with us. Please know your beloved Sir Thomas is keeping a loving vigil over you and his sister and little brother.

I hope today is treating you, your precious Theresa and little Tang kindly, my friend, and that you and your precious furkids are blessed with your beloved Sir Thomas' sweet Living Spirit to comfort and cheer you. Please know each of you are in my thoughts and prayers, Tracy.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Tom's Dad]

Well, Sir Thomas it's been 14 months to the day since you crossed the Rainbow Bridge. Easter Sunday of all days Not a day goes by I do not think of you sweet boy. I hope you and all your new friends up there are well and happy. Your dad sure has his hands full down here, but is doing his best to get by. Always remember that I love and miss you, and your little sister and the little brother you lead my way do too. Say a little prayer for him if you don't mind. Hugs

Dad.

[moon_beam]

Hi, Tracy, thank you so much for sharing your and your beloved Sir Thomas' angel-versary with us. How special that your beloved Sir Thomas joined the angels on Easter Sunday - - the day of celebration that brings ALL of God's creation the promise of eternal joy. May this bring comfort, hope, and peace to your heart, Tracy, as your beloved Sir Thomas waits patiently for your appropriate time to join him.

I hope today is being kind to you, Tracy, and to your precious Theresa and little Tang. Thank you for the blessing of your friendship, Tracy, and of your precious furkids. Please know you and your precious fur tribe are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I always look forward to sharing your treasured memories of your beloved Sir Thomas.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Tom's Dad]

Thank you moon_beam

But Tom died 12.08.2010 just a few weeks before Christmas. Yesterday (Easter) was just the 14 month angelversary of that. Which is what made is so difficult

[moon_beam]

Hi, Tracy, sorry for the misunderstanding. Still your beloved Sir Thomas IS in eternal joy - - and is keeping a loving vigil over you, his sister Theresa and little brother Tang. Even though I goofed, thank you for sharing your and your beloved Sir Thomas' angel-versary with us.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Tom's Dad]

Well, Sir Thomas

Here we are again. Today it's been 15 months since you crossed over the bridge. I hope it's nice up there and you get tuna and salmon every day my little man. Your little brother Tang is still struggling with that thing in his ear. If you have any pull up there, it would sure be appreciated. I don't want him having to join you up there before his time. But I know you would look after him the same as you did here on earth with your little sis Theresa (even though you didn't want me to see) Be good and know your dad, little brother and sister miss you

[DannysMom]

Well, Sir Thomas

Here we are again. Today it's been 15 months since you crossed over the bridge. I hope it's nice up there and you get tuna and salmon every day my little man. Your little brother Tang is still struggling with that thing in his ear. If you have any pull up there, it would sure be appreciated. I don't want him having to join you up there before his time. But I know you would look after him the same as you did here on earth with your little sis Theresa (even though you didn't want me to see) Be good and know your dad, little brother and sister miss you

Tracy, it's good that you remember Sir Thomas. He must have had quite an impact on your life, even though you only had 5 years together. I remember you saying that you weren't with him when he died and found him when you got home. I am sorry that it happened that way. I'm sure that must have been so hard for you, not being able to say good-bye. But not matter how our fur kids die, it is always hard on us.

[Tom's Dad]

Thank you DannysMom

Yes, the memory of finding his body in involuntary last gasps of air on the cold bathroom floor will haunt be forever; I still cannot bring myself to stand in that spot. As will his almost begging croak of a meow not wanting me to go that morning. In hindsight, if I'd known I was going to lose that job anyway, I would have stayed with him I SHOULD have stayed with him. This is why I worry about Tang so much. Sometimes I feel like God is going to take another little boy away from me for lack of recourses....

[DannysMom]

Thank you DannysMom

Yes, the memory of finding his body in involuntary last gasps of air on the cold bathroom floor will haunt be forever; I still cannot bring myself to stand in that spot. As will his almost begging croak of a meow not wanting me to go that morning. In hindsight, if I'd known I was going to lose that job anyway, I would have stayed with him I SHOULD have stayed with him. This is why I worry about Tang so much. Sometimes I feel like God is going to take another little boy away from me for lack of recourses....

Tracy, my heart goes out to you. I cannot even imagine the pain you must have felt seeing your Sir Thomas taking his last breaths. There is just no way that you could have known what was going to happen that day. I can understand how traumatic this whole experience must have been for you, and I definitely understand you worrying about Tang. I worry the same about Mindy. If she sneezes a tiny bit I get uneasy. Last night I was looking for her and I couldn't find her. I broke down crying, and that's when I saw her in the bedroom. I thought something had happened to her as she didn't respond to me calling her.

[Tom's Dad]

Hello Again Sir Thomas

It's been just over a year and a half since you went to be with the angels. Your dad and little sis still think about you and keep you in our hearts. Thank you for being my special boy for 5 years. I'm sorry for my lapses in judgement that resulted in me not having the funds to give you the medical attention that might have extended your time here on earth Also, thank you for looking out for Tang in his time of need and sending him our way. I hope I can do better by him than I did you my special man. Be good up there and know that Theresa and me and yes, even Tang (though he only knew you in spirit) all love you and miss you.


Dad.

[moon_beam]

Hi, Tracy, thank you so much for sharing your and your beloved Sir Thomas' angel-versary with us. I know you treasure all the wonderful memories you and your beloved Sir Thomas share, and I hope and pray you can feel the pride your beloved Sir Thomas holds in his heart for you as his Forever Dad.

Thank you so very much for sharing your beloved Sir Thomas with us, Tracy, and thank you for being here with us in this wonderful forum. Please know you and your precious Theresa and little Tang are in my thoughts and prayers, my friend, and that I always look forward to sharing your news and your treasured memories of your beloved Sir Thomas.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Tom's Dad]

Well, Tom my baby boy. This is the second Father's Day without you. I think about you daily. I hope today you think about your dad, and know that he loves you very much.

[Tom's Dad]

Well Sir Thomas

Today marks 1 year and 9 months to the day you passed over the Rainbow Bridge. I think about you everyday, even though you don't seem to make your presence known as much as you used to. But when you do, I feel it all through my heart and soul. Theresa and Tang are doing well. Little Tang is battling diabetes same as you did and struggling with that ear. But with Drs Harris and Mills help, I think we can get through it. Thank you for sending him our way, baby boy. I hope you are getting plenty of sunshine and treats up there. Be good, we miss you.

Love,

Dad, Theresa, and Tang.

[Tom's Dad]

Tom

Today I took a walk around outside at work during lunch. It is a beautiful sunny day, but not too warm. Just the kind you liked. I imagined you out on the balcony looking so regal the way you always did. As if about to make a royal proclaimation. As I was walking around, two Monarch butterflies fluttered about; as if following me. I would like to think you did that my Thomas. Be good. I love you.

Dad.

[LoveMyMickey]

Hi Tracy,

I truly believe that Sir Thomas was sending you a love message through those butterflies. Monarc butterflies are supposed to be especially important......Thank you for sharing Sir Tom's anniversary with us. You are a good dad.

LoveMyMickey