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Lightning-Strike Pet Loss Support Forum _ Death and Dying Pet Support _ My Beloved Noah

Posted by: moon_beam Nov 11 2017, 05:00 AM

At 1:52 a.m. I received a call from Noah's overnight physician from the ER hospital. A "quick" ultrasound was done on Noah at some point after I left visiting him, and fluid was found in his abdomen. A sample of the fluid was taken which showed definite bacteria - - which means something in my precious Noah's abdomen was perforated or leaking. This is always considered a surgical emergency, which I approved.

At 2:20 a.m. the surgeon called me to let me know that there was nothing she could do for my precious Noah. His stomach had ruptured from multiple tumors and there was nothing but dead tissue in place of his stomach. The only thing that could be done for him was to mercifully transition him from this earthly realm. She agreed that she could keep Noah comfortable under anesthesia until I arrived to be with him when the drugs were administered. I arrived at the hospital around 3:20 a.m., and around 3:30 a.m. Noah joined his beautiful sibling baby sister Abbygayle and adopted big kitty brother Eli in heaven's perfect garden.

Needless to say my heart is aching right now and the tears are flowing, but there are so many things I am thankful for - - one of them having had the honor and privilege of being his human caregiver all the 14 years of his sweet physical life. I will get a pawprint and his ashes back sometime within the next week.

I want to thank each of you for your comforting support during this time of great sorrow,

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Posted by: Tom's Dad Nov 11 2017, 08:11 AM

Oh moon_beam sad.gif

My heart is so heavy and aching for the loss of your precious Noah. Tang, Anne and I send our most heartfelt condolences. I wish I could think of more to say, but know that we are here for you. Noah is now with his siblings, Thomas, Theresa, Mickey and all the other waifs. Please let us know how you are doing.

Posted by: LittleGirl'sMommy Nov 11 2017, 02:20 PM

Moon_beam,

I am sending you my heartfelt sympathies. During sweet Noah's earthly life he had the BEST of caretakers, and he will always have you! It's true what we tell the other grieving pet parents who come to this page: Noah is in the most blissful state right now--more than we can imagine. He's pain-free for good. There's no time/space separation. He's with Abbygayle and Eli, and the 3 of them will be greeting you when one day your earthly time is over. What bliss you will all share. In the meantime, they all want to comfort you. wub.gif wub.gif wub.gif

My Sunny got some bad lab results. He is now at end-stage kidney disease and has, at most, a few months left. I was terrified when I saw the look on the vet's face when she came into the room with the lab results. Terrified that this (today) might be it. We settled back in at home and he gobbled up some food ! And he's napping contentedly in the sun right now. I am so thankful. It'll be one day at a time...

We'll be in touch. I will check for other notes from you.

Sending huge prayers of peace your way.

Kathy

Posted by: moon_beam Nov 11 2017, 02:38 PM

Thank you, Tracy for your and Anne's most kind and comforting support. The tears come in waves and right now it's hard to focus on much of anything, so I have to force myself to concentrate on what I'm doing. I know this is all a part of the grieving process, but it doesn't make the process any easier.

I hope you, your precious Tang, and Anne are doing well. I'm sorry for not being able to keep up our daily correspondence right now on your topic but I will get back to you when I can, so please don't think I'm neglecting you.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Posted by: moon_beam Nov 11 2017, 02:48 PM

Hi, Kathy, thank you so much for your kind and comforting support. Right now tears are flowing so it's hard to see what I'm typing. I'm so glad he's no longer in pain. As his surgeon said last night this situation didn't happen overnight -- it was developing over a significant amount of time. When I think over these past 10 months I realize now how much he was hiding from me so that I wouldn't worry about him while I was in agonizing pain. I am so thankful that his last memory of me was one of decent health being on the RA medication which significantly reduced the intense pain so that I could once again hold him in my arms. What a joy it was to be able to do that again!!! I do have so many things to be thankful for and I"m trying to hold onto them and focus on them as I travel this horrible grief adjustment journey.

I"m so sorry about your precious Sunny's lab results. I know you're on a roller coaster ride now of embracing the good days and wondering when THE bad day will come when you may have to make that heartbreaking decision for your precious boy. Please know your precious Sunny and you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Thank you once again, Kathy, for your comforting support. It is greatly appreciated.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Posted by: LittleGirl'sMommy Nov 11 2017, 04:10 PM

Moon_beam,

Thank you for your prayers our way, even as you navigate this excruciating grief-adjustment journey.

Aww -- Noah hid the extent of his issues from you because he was so concerned about you -- and vs. vs. It is amazing what love makes us do. wub.gif

Do you also have in-person support? I just hate to think of you alone (well, your fur angels are all with you, but as far as having an understanding, compassionate human nearby to talk with--even by phone, to reach out to).

Do you think you might be up to (sometime--when you're ready) sharing a picture of Noah? I'd love to see him, as well as Eli and Abbygayle.

Continued prayers,

Kathy

Posted by: Tom's Dad Nov 11 2017, 04:34 PM

Oh moon_beam.

Do NOT worry about our daily correspondence. That should be the least of your concerns right now. From what the admin has stated, it's going to be a moot point soon enough.

You just concentrate on taking care of yourself. I think it's what Noah would want. As you said, he hid much from you so that you could get better and be able to hold him in your arms again. But, for what it's worth, I'm glad the site is still here for you at this most difficult of times. Thoughts and Prayers.

Tracy, Anne, Tang and of course angels Theresa and Tom.

Posted by: moon_beam Nov 11 2017, 05:31 PM

Hi, Kathy, thank you for your comforting support. You can see a picture of my beloved Abbygayle in her topic "Abbygale's Journey" in the Death and Dying forum, page 7 of the topic titles. You may need to scroll through some of the pages until you see her. I was crying so hard when I opened her topic that I misspelled her name - - the correct spelling of her name is Abbygayle.

You can see a picture of my beloved Noah in his topic "My Precious Noah", on page 4.

You can see a picture of my beloved Eli on page 10 in my topic "Oslo" which is on page 11 of the topic titles. The picture of Eli is when he was a baby kitty cuddled next to his big doggy brother Oslo.

I am the only one in my family who feels strongly about the bond we have with our companions, so talking to family members about it is very limited. The only people I KNOW I can share what is in my heart are here on this wonderful forum - - and that's okay. I will miss this place when Marc sunsets the forum in 2019. I'm not a fan of social media, so participating in facebook, etc., is not much of an option for me. So for now I am blessed to have you, LoveMyMickey, and Tracy to share this adjustment journey with me.

I hope you and your precious Sunny will have a very peaceful evning, and will be back online tomorrow.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Posted by: moon_beam Nov 11 2017, 05:33 PM

Hi, Tracy, I thank you and Anne for your comforting support. Thank you for understanding about my limited ability to communicate right now. I hope you, your precious prince Tang, and Anne will have a very peaceful evening. I will be back online tomorrow.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Posted by: LoveMyMickey Nov 11 2017, 05:56 PM

Oh my dear moon_beam......I am crying again. I was so afraid of coming to the forum tonight, thinking of what news I would find. I'm not very good with putting my thoughts into words, but know I am deeply saddened.

I know my little angel Mickey will join the other little angels here to comfort you and watch over little angel Noah in God's Perfect Garden......Please know my prayers will always be with you.....God Bless..

(((HUGS)))

LoveMyMickey

Posted by: janika Nov 12 2017, 03:00 AM

Dear Moon_beam
I am so heart broken to hear that your beloved , precious Noah has had to move onto the next stage of his journey 😢. Please know that I am thinking of you and sending great big hugs for you at this very sad time. You have so many wonderful memories to treasure and they will bring you so much comfort in the time to come . Noah has joined our Angels , he’ll be watching over you , in your heart and soul forever 💞
Much love Jan , Kobi and Rocco, and all of my Angels 💞🌈💞xx

Posted by: moon_beam Nov 12 2017, 09:58 AM

Hi, LoveMyMickey, thank you so much for your comforting support. I also thank your beloved angel Mickey's comforting support and his greeting my beloved Noah when he joined the angels. I know my beloved Noah's time to transition from this earthly realm was coming simply because of his age, but I wish he was spared the agony of of his last hours. I know so many here have wished the same thing for their beloved companions as well.

Thank you again so much for your being here, LoveMyMickey.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Posted by: LittleGirl'sMommy Nov 12 2017, 10:12 AM

Moon_beam.... My Sunny has taken a turn for the worse ! It may be today ! sad.gif sad.gif sad.gif Will keep you posted. And I'm thinking about you.
Kathy

QUOTE (moon_beam @ Nov 12 2017, 09:58 AM) *
Hi, LoveMyMickey, thank you so much for your comforting support. I also thank your beloved angel Mickey's comforting support and his greeting my beloved Noah when he joined the angels. I know my beloved Noah's time to transition from this earthly realm was coming simply because of his age, but I wish he was spared the agony of of his last hours. I know so many here have wished the same thing for their beloved companions as well.

Thank you again so much for your being here, LoveMyMickey.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam


Posted by: moon_beam Nov 12 2017, 10:20 AM

Hi, Jan, thank you so much for your comforting support. I am so grateful for all the years I had with my beloved Noah. It's a hard reality to adjust to when our companion's earthly journey ends. Yesterday I took the cushion and blanket out of his stroller and sobbed holding it tightly to me remembering how he always sought the comfort of his stroller when he was in the vet's office. He would even climb into it here at home when he wanted some "private" time. When he was so ill I was so worried that maybe somehow he got into something toxic here at home despite my preventive precautions - - or ate a bug or got bitten by a spider that was poisonous to him. But it was cancer that took his life from me, as it has taken each of my companions, and strange as this may sound this is some comfort to me -- that it was something I had no control over, it was something I couldn't prevent. But this still doesn't stop my heart from breaking, it doesn't stop the deep pain of grieving for the selfish wish that I still want him here with me so that I can hold HIM in my arms instead of his stroller cushion and blanket.

Thank you again, Jan, for sharing my grief journey, and I know your beloved angels are with my beloved Noah acquainting him with everything to do and see in heaven's perfect garden.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Posted by: moon_beam Nov 13 2017, 10:52 AM

It is Monday, 11/13/2017 and I cannot believe it's been 3 days now since I last held my beloved Noah in my arms to comfort him as his sweet Living Spirit transitioned from this earthly realm. I am now waiting for a telephone call telling me my beloved Noah's ashes and pawprints are ready for pick up.

With the critical medical challenges I have had over the past 2 years I knew my beloved Noah would be my last companion. Up until this time I had always thought that I would be able to have a companion in my life, but these past 2 years with extreme medical crises to deal with have taught me that this no longer is the case. It will be a HUGE major adjustment not having another living precious soul to care for. Another "reality check" in this grief adjustment journey. The holidays are quickly approaching and for me from this time forward they will be the "most horrible time of the year". I will have to put on my "public face" to endure the family gatherings with my brother and his wife in Bedford, knowing all the while my beloved Noah is no longer physically here to greet me when I get home making coming home almost unbearable. This house that used to hold so much joy over these 21 years is now empty, silent, and lifeless. I bought this home to be a safe haven for my companions, and it has been. Now there doesn't seem much purpose to stay here anymore. This place is too big for just me. I have begun the process of trying to get it ready to put up for sale next spring so that I can move to Bedford to be geographically closer to my brother and his wife making the travel distance shorter for my brother to help me with MD appointments, getting prescriptions from the pharmacy for me, etc.. Both of us are only getting older, and my brother is older than I am in age.

So this is how life is - - at least for now. I know it's all a part of the grieving process, but knowing this doesn't make the process any easier.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Posted by: moon_beam Nov 13 2017, 11:44 PM

I was able to pick up my beloved Noah's ashes and clay pawprint late this afternoon and stopped by a place to order a plaque for his and Abbygayle's urn - - they will be together in one urn.

I also received a call from the infusion center where I will begin infusions of a new drug for my rheumatoid arthritis. The appointment is scheduled for Tuesday, 11/28, at 12:45 p.m.. This will be the beginning of routine infusions each of them taking at least 3 hours. I'm glad my beloved Noah is no longer subjected to my numerous MD and treatment appointments. He is in a much better place now with his beautiful baby sister Abbygayle, his big adopted kitty brother Eli, and all the beloved companions and angels in heaven's perfect garden.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Posted by: moon_beam Nov 14 2017, 11:58 AM

It's lonely here. Everything I did revolved around my beloved Noah. Errands I would run would be planned so that I wouldn't be gone long from him. I cringed when my medical appointments were hours long worrying about my precious boy and wanting to get home to him as fast as I could. I got a lap top computer so that I could work on things and be physically close to him instead of restricted to the desk top computer. Now I can hardly stand to look at it. Just his sweet physical presence filled the house. Now the house is so empty and cold - - my life is so empty and cold. I know this sounds so selfish. I wouldn't want him back here with me in agonizing pain. Knowing he is free of pain and restored to former youthfulness in the company of the angels is comforting to me - - still my heart and arms ache to hold him, to smell his fur - - to have his sweet body cuddled close to me - -to have him come join me here at the desk and stretch out to keep me company. Nothing seems important now, nothing seems to have much purpose for me now. I know in time this will change as the deep grief eases, but for now - - life hurts.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Posted by: Tom's Dad Nov 14 2017, 06:18 PM

Oh moon_beam sad.gif

My heart aches for what you are going through. I wish I had the beautiful words to express that, but I do not. But know that we are all here for you in this most difficult time of adjustment. {{{{{HUGS}}}}}

Posted by: LittleGirl'sMommy Nov 14 2017, 07:55 PM

Moon_beam,

It is not at all selfish of you to share your feelings. I got stabbing pangs in my chest reading your post just now. You gave the biggest, best gift to release sweet Noah from his physical body at the exact time that you did. And yet---in doing so, you took on so much pain it's almost unfathomable. My heart aches for and with you. I am SO FORTUNATE to have my precious Cubby here physically with me ! I'll write more soon.

I am sorry you have to endure such medical agony---on top of everything else!!!

Kathy

Yesterday afternoon, coming home after the "appointment" I

QUOTE (moon_beam @ Nov 14 2017, 11:58 AM) *
It's lonely here. Everything I did revolved around my beloved Noah. Errands I would run would be planned so that I wouldn't be gone long from him. I cringed when my medical appointments were hours long worrying about my precious boy and wanting to get home to him as fast as I could. I got a lap top computer so that I could work on things and be physically close to him instead of restricted to the desk top computer. Now I can hardly stand to look at it. Just his sweet physical presence filled the house. Now the house is so empty and cold - - my life is so empty and cold. I know this sounds so selfish. I wouldn't want him back here with me in agonizing pain. Knowing he is free of pain and restored to former youthfulness in the company of the angels is comforting to me - - still my heart and arms ache to hold him, to smell his fur - - to have his sweet body cuddled close to me - -to have him come join me here at the desk and stretch out to keep me company. Nothing seems important now, nothing seems to have much purpose for me now. I know in time this will change as the deep grief eases, but for now - - life hurts.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam


Posted by: moon_beam Nov 15 2017, 01:34 PM

Hi, Tracy, thank you for your most thoughtful comforting support. Your words are just fine, my friend. Friendships know how to listen to the words of the heart. Hopefully in time this agonizing deep grief will be less intense, but for now it's a consuming black hole.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Posted by: moon_beam Nov 15 2017, 01:57 PM

Hi, Kathy, thank you so much for your thoughtful comforting support. I feel broken and wonder if the "pieces" will ever fit together again. I know how my beloved Noah's heart felt when his beautiful baby sister Abbygayle transitioned home to the angels - - heartbroken almost beyond repair. I tried introducing him to a little buddy who he could mentor - - like his big adopted kitty brother Eli mentored him - - but he wouldn't have anything to do with that. So it was just my Noah and me for 7 years together - - and I am sooo thankful for that dedicated time we had together. I knew my Noah would be my last fur child due my age and health challenges. But even in my most worst case scenario I NEVER anticipated that his transition journey would be due to such a horribly cruel health crisis. I don't know if I will ever be able to get past that, or if it will forever haunt me the rest of my days.

I don't feel guilty - - at least I don't have THAT to contend with - - because I realize how much was literally taken out of my control. But this still doesn't stop the piercing heartache realizing how cruel this life can be to sweet innocent souls whose sole, and soul, purpose is to bring joy and happiness to the humans who embrace them into heart and home. Hopefully in time my heart will feel whole again with the many treasured memories I have of my beloved Noah.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam


Posted by: moon_beam Nov 16 2017, 01:36 PM

It has been a busy Thursday here. The sunbeams are shining and hope my beloved Noah is enjoying them in heaven's perfect garden. He always enjoyed laying in the sunbeams.

A crew was here this morning to do a routine service on the security system. I'm so glad my beloved Noah didn't have to contend with the noise and having his home "invaded." This afternoon my regular volunteer will be here to help me with the weekly chores. Have been working on financials - - getting the final payments made for his emergency medical treatments and his cremation. So everything is up to date now in my checkbook. Am waiting to get notified that the plaques are ready for my beloved companions' urns so that I can go pick them up. But staying "busy" doesn't mask the incredible emptiness in my heart and home. How does one "adjust" to such emptiness?

Numbness is setting in now - - the tears are more manageable now - - I can talk better now without always sobbing - - the tears are more inward now. But there is no "spark" to my days and nights anymore because the LIFE that brought meaning to me is now transitioned to a place I can't go yet. This grief adjustment journey is a real test of endurance for sure.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Posted by: LittleGirl'sMommy Nov 17 2017, 11:49 AM

Moon_beam,

I've been thinking of you a lot.

When you make the move to be closer to Bedford, is there any possible way you might foster a sweet needy soul? NO one could ever be like Noah, Abbygayle, or Eli, but some precious little guy/girl could sure use a moon_beam to cuddle up to. wub.gif I do realize Noah was to be your last fur companion in this lifetime, but I couldn't resist at least asking you about fostering. No pressure intended. I just envision the benefit to you and to a kitty somewhere out there.

My Cubby Girl is the biggest blessing in my life right now. She is seeing me through this nightmare.

I wanted to share with you what a close friend of mine told me. He'd had a "near-death" type of experience and came away absolutely knowing that our loved ones---human and non-human---are truly in bliss and are right here with us and want more than anything for us to be okay, at all costs. He said what you and I always tell people, about it being as seemingly quick as the blink of an eye, when we will fully join them in that blissful realm. It really is true. This assurance (second to Cubby's presence wub.gif ) has helped me more than anything.

Sending you prayers of comfort.

Kathy


QUOTE (moon_beam @ Nov 16 2017, 01:36 PM) *
It has been a busy Thursday here. The sunbeams are shining and hope my beloved Noah is enjoying them in heaven's perfect garden. He always enjoyed laying in the sunbeams.

A crew was here this morning to do a routine service on the security system. I'm so glad my beloved Noah didn't have to contend with the noise and having his home "invaded." This afternoon my regular volunteer will be here to help me with the weekly chores. Have been working on financials - - getting the final payments made for his emergency medical treatments and his cremation. So everything is up to date now in my checkbook. Am waiting to get notified that the plaques are ready for my beloved companions' urns so that I can go pick them up. But staying "busy" doesn't mask the incredible emptiness in my heart and home. How does one "adjust" to such emptiness?

Numbness is setting in now - - the tears are more manageable now - - I can talk better now without always sobbing - - the tears are more inward now. But there is no "spark" to my days and nights anymore because the LIFE that brought meaning to me is now transitioned to a place I can't go yet. This grief adjustment journey is a real test of endurance for sure.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam


Posted by: moon_beam Nov 17 2017, 03:04 PM

Hi, Kathy, thank you so very much for your most comforting support. From time to time I have thought about fostering. I will have to wait to see how things go with the relocation to Bedford as well as my own health. I am so very thankful that for the last few weeks of my beloved Noah's life we were able to share a better quality of life with me no longer crying and screaming in excruciating pain thanks to the medication the rheumatologist prescribed. I finally regained enough strength in my arms so that I could him close to me. And I am very thankful I had the strength and ability to drive him to the emergency hospital where he could receive the medical care he desperately needed.

I'm in the "numbness" phase of this grief journey, and I'm thankful for that. My body is no longer shaking from the extreme shock and stress of this event. I can't believe it's been a week already since my beloved Noah finally relinquished his body to the ugly cancer that was ravaging his body. I thank you so much for sharing your friend's near death experience with me. It truly is my sincerest hope to be reunited with my beloved Noah and all of my beloved companions in eternal joy when it is my appointed time to transition from this earthly realm.

I hope today is treating you and your precious Cubby kindly, Kathy. Please know you also are in my thoughts and prayers.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Posted by: moon_beam Nov 18 2017, 12:08 PM

I found a gray stuffed toy cat online today and purchased it so that I could hold something that reasonably resembles my handsome beloved Noah. Of course NOTHING can ever replace the blessing of holding my beloved Noah in my arms, but this will help ease both the physical and emotional pain of adjusting to my beloved Noah's physical absence. I have his stroller cushion and blanket on my bed along with his collar and leash. These help not make my bed feel so lonely. I have survived the first week of "first withouts" but I know the upcoming weeks will be a challenge as many more "first withouts" are coming. I hope I can stay in this "numbness" phase as I struggle to endure re-inventing my life that no longer includes the physical presence of my beloved Noah.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Posted by: LittleGirl'sMommy Nov 18 2017, 05:55 PM

Moon_beam, I'm so pleased to hear that you ordered the stuffed kitty! What a great idea!! When will he arrive? Remember--Noah wants any and every kind of comfort for you this second and always !

I'm scared of the "firsts." Cubby is helping me to face things. She is just beyond words. I hate to think of you "alone" (though your babies are right there.. but you know what I mean sad.gif ) and I'm sending some intense prayers your way right now. I also hate to think of the physical pain you have been enduring!

Kathy

Posted by: moon_beam Nov 19 2017, 11:07 AM

Hi, Kathy, thank you so much for your kind comforting support. It will be a HUGE adjustment for not having a companion now in my senior years, but I know that it is the best for the precious souls who need a Forever Home - - which I know I can no longer provide both because of my age and my medical challenges. I need to focus on enduring the grief journey of adjusting to the physical absence of my beloved Noah. Every moment of every day is a reminder of how much my life revolved around him and how the hours, days, weeks, and years just zipped by. Even while my beloved Noah was still with me over these past few months I wondered how the 14 years had gone by so quickly - - never anticipating that our journey together was quickly coming to a close. Right now, the hours, days, just drag by hurting my heart each and every moment. I am so thankful I am blessed to cherish our many happy memories together, and this helps to soothe the tears of sorrow.

I'm so glad you have your precious Cubby to hold and enjoy as you both adjust to the physical absence of your beloved Sunny. Thank you again, Kathy, for your always most comforting support, and please know you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Posted by: moon_beam Nov 20 2017, 02:38 PM

I picked up my beloved Noah's and other fur kids' urns this morning. The house was so sllent when I got home. Even though my Noah was not always upstairs to greet me, I still knew he was in the house waiting for the appropriate time to welcome me home.

The urns are wonderful, and I'm looking forward to putting each of my beloved companions' remains in their respective urns when I have them ready. I am working on pictures to put on the front of the urns. I got some magnet picture frames with some heavy duty magnets to attach to the front of the urns to support the picture frames. I am looking forward to working on this project. I looked at some of their pictures this morning and all I could do is smile - - no tears, just smiling. I'm so thankful for that.

Being able to smile doesn't mean my heart stops grieving for the physical absence of my beloved companions, but I do believe being able to smile is their gift to me for all the treasured memories we share. And I'm so thankful and honored to be their sole, and soul, heir to each of their many cherished memories.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Posted by: LoveMyMickey Nov 20 2017, 06:12 PM

Hi moon-beam, I just want you to know I never stop thinking of you and Noah. Sounds like you have a nice creative project going with your precious angels' urns and pictures.

Yes, it is good to smile with the memories. I can look at each picture of my little angels and think of something to smile about. My hubby says, 'you have a good memory" and I say, "mamas are like that."

moon-beam, you are always in my thoughts and prayers. And I know all our little angels are watching over us.

(((HUGS)))

LoveMyMickey

Posted by: moon_beam Nov 21 2017, 01:31 PM

Hi, LoveMyMickey, thank you so much for your most thoughtful and welcome comforting support. Our treasured memories are what holds our beloved companions close to us in our hearts - - while their sweet Living Spirits are always a heartbeat close to us. Holding onto this has helped me as I travel this grief adjustment journey.

LoveMyMickey, may you always feel your beloved Mickey, and all of your beloved companions, close to you, and may each memory bring joy to your heart.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Posted by: moon_beam Nov 21 2017, 01:49 PM

I have just finished working on the pictures for my beloved Noah's and Abbygayle's urn, as well as my beloved Eli's and Oslo's urns. I scanned separate pictures of Noah and Abbygayle together and managed to blend them together using my photo picture editing program. It turned out nice, as well as Eli's and Oslo's pictures. I want the glossy photos to dry a couple of days before I cut them to size and place them in the photo holders.

I'm still thinking about what I'm going to do for a tribute memorial for my beloved Noah. The one I did for Abbygayle also tells Noah's life journey, except for the last 7 years of his earthly journey as Abbygayle's surviving sibling. I hope I can think of something to do for him - - just for him.

I miss my sweet little boy, but I'm so thankful he is no longer suffering - - trying to disguise a horrible illness ravaging his sweet precious physical body so that I wouldn't worry about him. This still saddens me a great deal, and I believe it always will, but I want to focus on the many happy treasured memories my beloved Noah and I share.

I thank each of you for all your support and comfort as I travel my grief adjustment journey. I couldn't do this alone, and it's comforting to have you here - - to be able to share with you what is in my heart knowing that each of you are kindred hearts as you have cared for and grieve for your beloved companions.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Posted by: LittleGirl'sMommy Nov 21 2017, 05:57 PM

Moon_beam,

The urns sound wonderful. I love the idea of the magnets and picture frames... And your smiles are a gift to Noah, who is right there with you to see. wub.gif

When the urn projects are done, would you want to share pictures of these treasures with us? I would love to see.

Kathy

Posted by: moon_beam Nov 22 2017, 12:15 PM

Hi, Kathy, thank you so much for your most thoughtful and comforting support. I'm not sure I can get a good enough picture of the finished plaques to share, but I'll try. I recently tried to get a picture of something my sister asked for but that turned into a royal disaster. I'm not very good with "technology" things, and that includes using digital - - or any other form - - cameras. But again, I will try and will let you know how I do.

The days and nights are now so quiet without the physical presence of my beloved Noah with me, but at least I'm able to function now without being overwhelmed with the consuming grief. This doesn't stop the deep sorrow in my heart - - it only helps me do the things that need to be done and stay focused on doing them a bit better. For this I am thankful, particularly when it comes to keeping track of my medication schedule.

Thank you again, Kathy, for all your support and encouragement. This truly means a lot to me. I hope today is treating you and your precious Cubby kindly.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Posted by: LittleGirl'sMommy Nov 23 2017, 06:53 AM

Moon_beam,

I am thankful that you are able to function now without being overwhelmed. That is how it is for me too now---but I'd have to say easier than what you are going through, thanks to Cubby.

Do you have Thanksgiving plans?

Will check back here often for any updates from you!

Kathy

Posted by: moon_beam Nov 23 2017, 02:22 PM

It's a big "first without" today as this is the first Thanksgiving Day without my beloved Noah to share it with me in his physical presence. It's so quiet here without his "energy" filling up the house. Even when he was sleeping his "energy" was felt everywhere. Now I must rely on my memories for his "energy" to fill my heart. If anyone had told me a month ago that I would be spending Thanksgiving, and all the rest of my days, without my beloved Noah I would have thought it strange to be told that. I would have preferred my sweet baby boy telling me he was not feeling well and needed to see his doctor. I miss my sweet precious beloved baby boy, and all of my beloved companions. It's a day of blinking back the tears while remembering my sweet beloved brave baby boy Noah.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Posted by: Tom's Dad Nov 23 2017, 03:39 PM

Hello moon_beam.

We are thinking of you on this first Thanksgiving Day without your precious Noah sad.gif Unfortunately, I know all to well how you must be feeling about it. We are sending all our thoughts and prayers your way today.

Tracy, Anne and Tang.

Posted by: moon_beam Nov 24 2017, 03:55 PM

Hi, Tracy, thank you so very much for your most kind and thoughtful support. Today is a little better day, perhaps because it's just a continuation of the adjustment journey - - rather than a major landmark angel-versary such as a holiday. I have been working on a couple of memorial projects for my beloved Noah and am happy with the way they are setting up. I will most certainly share them with you and Anne when I get them finalized, if you would like to receive them.

Thank you again, Tracy, and Anne and Tang, for your most thoughtful and most appreciated support.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Posted by: Tom's Dad Nov 24 2017, 04:31 PM

Hello moon_beam.

Glad to hear you are doing a little better. I'm sure the video tribute to you precious boy will do him justice if you want to send it. Thoughts and prayers.

Posted by: moon_beam Nov 25 2017, 01:56 PM

Hi, Tracy, thank you so much for your much appreciated thoughtful and comforting support. I can't believe it's been 2 weeks already since my beloved brave little boy went home to the angels. It feels like a deep dark eternity here without his sweet physical presence. When I think about how much he hid from me not feeling well all during the many months I was in agonizing pain, it breaks my heart again. I do remember all the wonderful memories and smile, but there is no denying in my heart how bad he must have felt with that horrible cancer invading his precious body, and this, too, is a part of my memories.

I'm not dong a video of him as much of his life has already been shared with the video I made of his beloved baby sister Abbygayle. I'm doing a picture collage with a brief summary of his life focusing on the last 7 years of his earthly journey as he would tell the story. The pictures are already shown in Abbygayle's video, with the exception of one picture which is what I chose for Noah's and Abbygayle's urn. I scanned the two pictures together and then cropped it so that it would fit into the 4 x 6 frame attached to their urn. And I'm doing a memorial bookmark for him as well. So I'll send you a finished copy of them when I get them done. I want the collage laminated, and there's a place close by that does that. Just need to check to see how much that would cost.

My baby boy has such a sweet Spirit - - he truly was a joy to my life during his earthly journey, and I truly treasure the many wonderful memories we share. No matter how long we traveled this earthly realm together it would never be long enough.

I thank you again, Tracy, for your comforting support. I hope today is treating you, your precious prince Tang, and Anne kindly.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Posted by: moon_beam Nov 29 2017, 01:37 PM

I couldn't get back to sleep early this morning thinking about my beloved Noah's memorial collage, so I was up around 4 a.m. to start working on it again. I am pleased with the way it has turned out. It's more of a memorial booklet now with a picture of him on the front cover accompanied by two pictures of him with his beautiful baby sister Abbygayle, and a picture each of his big adopted kitty brother Eli and doggy brother Oslo. There is a dedication page which summarizes his life with his fur family members and how he and I were together for the remainder of his 7 years written from his perspective as he would tell the story. The rest of the booklet has poems. the Blessing of The Animals prayer by St. Francis of Assisi, and my favorite song by The Beatles, "In My Life" which has a "family photo" at the end of the lyrics.

Working on this project has helped me to feel close to him - - inspired by him as to what to include in his memorial booklet. Now all i need to do is print it out. The items I had to purchase to do his memorial bookmark are scheduled to be delivered on Saturday, so I can resume working on that project. And I can now put the pictures I printed off a few days ago into the picture holders for the urns. So projects are progressing.

As I proceed with sorting through all the things I have acquired for my beloved feline companions over the years it still brings a heavy sadness to my heart that I am no longer able to have a companion in my life, - - it's just one of those "bitter" adjustments that are a part of this grief adjustment journey for senior guardians.

Yesterday evening when I got home from my infusion treatment I had to swallow hard not to break into sobbing because my beloved Noah is not physically here to greet me anymore. The tears are welling up in my eyes now as I"m writing with the eerie silence that is now a part of this home that once had great joy. These memorials I'm doing are the last things I can do for my beloved Noah - - the last - - how sad and lonely that feels. I now have to try to find joy in other ways for the rest of my earthly journey - - this will be a very difficult task indeed. Still I'm thankful that my beloved Noah is no longer having to wait for me to be able to get him his meals because of my medical appointments that now very seldom cooperate with his meal schedule.

I want to thank each of you for all your comforting support and encouragement as I travel my grief journ

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Posted by: LittleGirl'sMommy Nov 29 2017, 01:56 PM

Moon_beam, the memorial booklet sounds so wonderful !!! I love the idea of the writing from Noah's perspective. I'm sure he has a lot of very nice things to say. wub.gif

I'm sorry about the quiet and stillness that greeted you after your medical procedure. sad.gif I can just imagine. sad.gif

Please keep sharing with us here.

Kathy

QUOTE (moon_beam @ Nov 29 2017, 01:37 PM) *
I couldn't get back to sleep early this morning thinking about my beloved Noah's memorial collage, so I was up around 4 a.m. to start working on it again. I am pleased with the way it has turned out. It's more of a memorial booklet now with a picture of him on the front cover accompanied by two pictures of him with his beautiful baby sister Abbygayle, and a picture each of his big adopted kitty brother Eli and doggy brother Oslo. There is a dedication page which summarizes his life with his fur family members and how he and I were together for the remainder of his 7 years written from his perspective as he would tell the story. The rest of the booklet has poems. the Blessing of The Animals prayer by St. Francis of Assisi, and my favorite song by The Beatles, "In My Life" which has a "family photo" at the end of the lyrics.

Working on this project has helped me to feel close to him - - inspired by him as to what to include in his memorial booklet. Now all i need to do is print it out. The items I had to purchase to do his memorial bookmark are scheduled to be delivered on Saturday, so I can resume working on that project. And I can now put the pictures I printed off a few days ago into the picture holders for the urns. So projects are progressing.

As I proceed with sorting through all the things I have acquired for my beloved feline companions over the years it still brings a heavy sadness to my heart that I am no longer able to have a companion in my life, - - it's just one of those "bitter" adjustments that are a part of this grief adjustment journey for senior guardians.

Yesterday evening when I got home from my infusion treatment I had to swallow hard not to break into sobbing because my beloved Noah is not physically here to greet me anymore. The tears are welling up in my eyes now as I"m writing with the eerie silence that is now a part of this home that once had great joy. These memorials I'm doing are the last things I can do for my beloved Noah - - the last - - how sad and lonely that feels. I now have to try to find joy in other ways for the rest of my earthly journey - - this will be a very difficult task indeed. Still I'm thankful that my beloved Noah is no longer having to wait for me to be able to get him his meals because of my medical appointments that now very seldom cooperate with his meal schedule.

I want to thank each of you for all your comforting support and encouragement as I travel my grief journ

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam


Posted by: moon_beam Dec 2 2017, 05:13 PM

Today a gentleman who helps me with projects around the house came to move the carpeted kitty latrine boxes up to the garage for me. Now the space in the house seems more empty, another reminder that they are no longer needed because all of my beloved feline companions are now with the angels. As I was straightening up the blankets on the bed today I saw the fleece throw that I would warm on the heating pad and then Noah would snuggle under it. It breaks my heart now knowing that he no longer needs it. He also removed the carpets that had been on the floor for 20 years which had a lot of fur child "living" on them through the years. It was time for them to be removed, but they will not be replaced. This, too, adds to the list of reminders of how empty my home is now. This grief adjustment journey is a challenge to endure through when you're an older person. When I was younger I had things to look forward to, - - but now as age is taking it's toll it's a "reality check" that things to look forward to are now very limited in this earthly journey. I know the deep sorrow will ease in time, but for now my heart is aching.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Posted by: moon_beam Dec 4 2017, 01:31 PM

I can't believe it's been 3 weeks already since my beloved Noah joined the angels. Today I had several errands to run. Normally I would get them done as quickly as I could to get back home to my beloved Noah. Now there's no need to rush through the errands - - and sadly, no need to rush to get home. This time next week it will be one month since my beloved Noah transitioned from this earthly realm. This reminds me so much of how it was when I got home after being in the hospital for 3 months after the automobile collision. It was the first time of coming home knowing that my mom would never be home again due to her fatal injuries. As then, as it is now, I had several medical challenges to deal with and physical adjustments to make as a result of my injuries in addition to grieving the physical loss of my mom. Now - - 32 years later - - I am faced with the ardurous task of adjusting my life to the limitations of my current health challenges in addition to grieving the physical loss of my beloved Noah. It feels like history - - and bad history at that - - is repeating itself. Time marches forward uncaring of the sorrow in anyone's heart for whatever reason. This is yet another one of those "new normals" to adjust to in this grief journey.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Posted by: Tom's Dad Dec 4 2017, 07:14 PM

Hi moon_beam.

Time may march on without caring, be we do. All your friends here on LS. You're in our thoughts and prayers.

TT and TT

Posted by: moon_beam Dec 5 2017, 01:28 PM

Hi, Tracy, thank you so much for your most welcome support and encouragement with my grief journey. It is the wonderful people like you, Kathy, LoveMyMicky, and others on this forum who offer me consistent comfort as I am expected to put on the "public face" with family and friends - - the standard "it's time to get over it" with the mentality that my beloved Noah is "only a cat." Everything I do now - - wash his blankets before putting them away in storage, etc., is for the "last time" - - he will never need them again for his travel crate and stroller - - he will never need his soft fleece throw to warm him during these cold winter months snuggled next to me. This is a very sad turn of events at this stage in my life - - when by "chronological" years I'm still a "young person" for my senior years yet with my now medical challenges I have the physical body of a very aged person who can become seriously crippled quickly at any point in time barely able to take care of herself - - and completely unable to take care of a companion. And it still breaks my heart as I recall this past summer with my precious Noah having to listen to me screaming and crying in excruciating pain - - now knowing that all during this time his sweet body was becoming invaded by an ugly disease that would eventually cause him suffering the last hours of his physical life. I am thankful that the last weeks of his life I was finally on medication that significantly reduced the pain in my body so that my beloved Noah no longer had to listen to me screaming and crying in pain, and that I was physically strong enough to get him to the medical care he needed to try to keep him comfortable until he transitioned from this earthly journey. But - - he should be here with me NOW as I continue with my treatments to try to enable me to function consistently with lower pain levels so that we could enjoy this time together. I know in time this deep grief will ease - - but for now it's a burden sometimes more than I can bear alone - - and I'm sooo thankful I"m not alone having the strength of you and the other wonderful people on this forum to share my sorrow with. This is a blessing to me, and I thank you, Tracy, for your friendship.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Posted by: LoveMyMickey Dec 5 2017, 06:35 PM

My Dear moon_beam,

Tears came to my eyes as I read your post. Tracy is right you will never be alone and we will always care. I have health problems similar to yours and I always prayed that I would be able to take care of Mickey until his time came to be with the angels. Well, I barely made it and I am so grateful. My husband and I both will never be able to take care of another companion, but I am grateful for the memories of the pets we did have. All we can do is donate to help other animals when we can. And feed the little waifs.

Moon_beam I just wanted you to know I donated here in loving memory of Noah. I wanted to do something for you in his memory. I don't write much, but you are in my daily thoughts and prayers. May God bless you and give you peace and comfort.

((((HUGS))))

LoveMyMickey

Posted by: LittleGirl'sMommy Dec 5 2017, 07:48 PM

Moon_beam, thank you for sharing with us how you are doing. We sure do care about you and are here for you. I am so sorry to hear that your family and friends viewed your precious Noah as "only a cat." sad.gif I will never understand the people who feel this way !

Regarding your medical issues that have had you screaming in pain---remember that cats were designed by nature to hide their medical issues, whereas we humans were not. There is nothing you overlooked or did wrong on sweet Noah's behalf!! He's right there with you thanking you and wanting only the best for the Best Mommy in the World. wub.gif

-Kathy

Posted by: moon_beam Dec 6 2017, 01:25 PM

Hi, LoveMyMickey, thank you so much for you most welcome comforting support and encouragement during my grief adjustment journey. And thank you ever so much for your thoughtful and caring donation to this website in loving memory of my beloved Noah. This truly means a lot to me - - more than you will ever know.

I can so relate to your journey with your beloved Mickey when you share with me " I have health problems similar to yours and I always prayed that I would be able to take care of Mickey until his time came to be with the angels. Well, I barely made it and I am so grateful." I also prayed that my beloved Noah's last memory of me would not be of me screaming and crying in pain, and although I didn't know it at the time, I am grateful that the last few weeks of his sweet physical life we were able to enjoy together without me being in excruciating pain. And secondly, and equally important, I am grateful that I was strong and able enough to get him to the emergency hospital where the doctors could provide him some comforting medical intervention during the last few hours of his life. If he had required emergency medical care prior to this I would not have been physically able to get him anywhere for emergency medical care. So I know there are blessings to be thankful for - - it's hard to stay focused on them though when the heart is in deep sorrow. Sharing your experiences, as well as those of our other forum friends, helps me to know I am not alone in this journey - - that I am surrounded by comforting hearts who truly know and understand how I'm feeling.

LoveMyMickey, I thank you again so much for your comforting support and encouragement, and your loving tribute to my beloved Noah through your donation. I hope today is treating you and your husband kindly, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Mickey's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Posted by: moon_beam Dec 6 2017, 01:46 PM

Hi, Kathy, thank you so much for your most comforting support and encouragement as I travel my grief adjustment journey. I have always been the only one in my family who believes our companions are equal members of the family. Through the years I have often been ridiculed by my siblings for this, often accused of loving the companions who shared our household more than them. I have never understood jealousy of loving a companion in addition to loving a human family member. Although they don't now say to me "it's only a cat" - - the feeling is still there in the obvious aversion to not wanting to share the deep sorrow.

This is why I am so very thankful for you and our other wonderful forum friends who are here to help me through this deep grief journey. The numbness that for awhile kept the deep sorrow from overwhelming me has now lifted and I am once again immersed in the deep grief of the reality that my beloved Noah is no longer physically with me - - and the blatant reality that no stuffed toy can replace the joy of holding my beloved Noah's sweet physical body close to me, and my heart breaks again. I know I must sound like a broken record now - - and I know it gets tiresome hearing / reading the same thing over and over again. I hope someday I will be able to share something more positive.

Once again, Kathy, I do so much appreciate your comforting support and encouragement. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers as you travel your own grief journey in the physical loss of your beloved Sunny. I hope today is treating you and your precious Cubby kindly, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Sunny's, and all of your beloved companions', sweet Living Spirits to comfort you.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Posted by: moon_beam Dec 7 2017, 11:49 AM

It amazes me every day how much of my day revolved around my beloved Noah's needs. It never seemed like much while he was physically with me - - but now my days, and nights, are so empty - - barren. This is a very difficult adjustment - - everything I do is a constant reminder of my beloved Noah's physical absence - - constantly filled with the reminders of the "first withouts." I didn't know last Christmas was our last one together - - every day is a reminder of the "last times" with my beloved Noah's physical presence with me. How do I look forward to a "new year" when my beloved Noah is not physically here to share it with me? I see the squirrels outside the big door windows and tears come to my eyes as my beloved Noah isn't physically here to excitedly watch them as they search for their food. What used to be so enjoyable to watch is now painful - - literally feeling like a knife piercing my heart with deepest sorrow. Living here used to be fun, but that has now forever changed. I keep remembering the BeeGee's song that had a refrain "Please help me mend my broken heart and let me live again." The happiness that once thrived in this home is no longer here. RIght now I'm not so sure my heart can be mended this time - - I can't help wondering if the rest of my life will just be going through the motions of "living" again. Perhaps by spring the misery of this deep grief will have lifted and I will begin to have something to look forward to. Faith is the thing hoped for -- the evidence of things not seen. And so I must hold onto hope and "keep the faith" that this deep grief will eventually pass - - and that I will be able to live again with a happy heart once again.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Posted by: moon_beam Dec 16 2017, 01:59 PM

I can't believe today marks 5 weeks since my beloved Noah joined the angels. Where have these 5 weeks gone? How have I managed to get through them - - to survive them? It is so quiet here without his sweet precious "energy" to keep me company. I miss holding him in my arms. Now that I have the strength in my arms again to hold him I feel so cheated in not being able to do it. Now that my health is better than it was 3 months ago, he should be here to share it with me. We should have had at least another 2 years together, but I know he tried so hard to stay here with me, my brave sweet little boy. Tears still come and my heart breaks anew. Although I have shared other pictures of my beloved Noah on his other topic "My Precious Noah", here is a picture of him here:




Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Posted by: Tom's Dad Dec 16 2017, 06:50 PM

Oh moon_beam.

What a beautiful boy wub.gif My heart aches for you every day sad.gif I know what you mean when you say you should have had more time. I felt the same way about my Sir Thomas (whom Noah favors a tad) All our thoughts and prayers are with you.

Posted by: LittleGirl'sMommy Dec 17 2017, 05:45 AM

Handsome, handsome boy. wub.gif

Moon_beam, I wish I had some words of comfort. Are you still thinking of moving in the spring? The idea of fostering keeps coming to me. Maybe there's even a foster to take in where you currently are? Noah is right there with you, but I was just thinking that it might be beneficial for you to be able to physically hold someone. Just a thought, and I know it might not be the right thing for you at this time.

Cubby continues to save my life each day.

Sending you prayers of healing and peace! wub.gif

Kathy

Posted by: moon_beam Dec 17 2017, 12:53 PM

Hi, Tracy, thank you so much for sharing my beloved Noah with me. It is comforting to me to know I am not alone in this grief journey. It truly is a one day at a time, one moment at a time journey.

I hope today is treating you, your precious prince Tang, and Anne, kindly, and thank you again so much for your continued comforting support.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Posted by: moon_beam Dec 17 2017, 01:24 PM

Hi, Kathy, thank you so much for your continued support and encouragement in my grief journey. I know so very well how difficult it is to find the words that can offer comfort to someone who is grieving. But I do want to reassure you that your words ARE comforting to me, as they do help me to find the courage to carry on just one more day at a time. I know things happen for a "reason" at a particular "time", but it sure is hard adjusting to the things that break your heart.

Thank you also for sharing my beloved Noah with me. He is a handsome boy, and I received many compliments about him from other clients when were in his doctor's office. I will miss seeing his doctor, as she also took care of my beloved Eli, Oslo, and Abbygayle. We had a good rapport, and we shared a common ideology about Noah's care, and that of his other fur family members.

As for fostering, this is not an option for me particularly with my latest test results that shows extensive osteoporosis in my spine and the beginning of osteoporosis in my left hip. My health is just not conducive to being able to "start fresh" with the care of another fur child. There were so many times this year when I was very worried that I would have to surrender my Noah to foster care, so - - no, my health is not conducive to making a commitment to another little soul who needs the reassurance that he / she will be properly taken care of. But thank you for your comforting interest in making the suggestion.

Kathy, I hope today, and every day, is treating you and your precious Cubby kindly, and that you will have peaceful evenings blessed with your beloved Sunny's, and all of your beloved companions', sweet Living Spirits to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers as you travel your own grief journey in the physical loss of your beloved Sunny, that you are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I do appreciate your comforting support and encouragement.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Posted by: LittleGirl'sMommy Dec 22 2017, 04:24 PM

Thank you, moon_beam, for your continued words of comfort.

I'm so sorry to hear that your latest test results were not good and that they will prevent you from caring for another little soul. For the future, IF your health ever requires residential assisted-living, some have "resident cats." My aunt recently moved into one where there are 2 cats who roam around cuddling with the (human) residents! As a matter of fact, it was the main reason we chose this particular facility. Anyway, that's just a thought for the future.

I continue to think of you, of course. What are your plans for Christmas?

Prayers of peace, wub.gif

Kathy

QUOTE (moon_beam @ Dec 17 2017, 01:24 PM) *
Hi, Kathy, thank you so much for your continued support and encouragement in my grief journey. I know so very well how difficult it is to find the words that can offer comfort to someone who is grieving. But I do want to reassure you that your words ARE comforting to me, as they do help me to find the courage to carry on just one more day at a time. I know things happen for a "reason" at a particular "time", but it sure is hard adjusting to the things that break your heart.

Thank you also for sharing my beloved Noah with me. He is a handsome boy, and I received many compliments about him from other clients when were in his doctor's office. I will miss seeing his doctor, as she also took care of my beloved Eli, Oslo, and Abbygayle. We had a good rapport, and we shared a common ideology about Noah's care, and that of his other fur family members.

As for fostering, this is not an option for me particularly with my latest test results that shows extensive osteoporosis in my spine and the beginning of osteoporosis in my left hip. My health is just not conducive to being able to "start fresh" with the care of another fur child. There were so many times this year when I was very worried that I would have to surrender my Noah to foster care, so - - no, my health is not conducive to making a commitment to another little soul who needs the reassurance that he / she will be properly taken care of. But thank you for your comforting interest in making the suggestion.

Kathy, I hope today, and every day, is treating you and your precious Cubby kindly, and that you will have peaceful evenings blessed with your beloved Sunny's, and all of your beloved companions', sweet Living Spirits to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers as you travel your own grief journey in the physical loss of your beloved Sunny, that you are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I do appreciate your comforting support and encouragement.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam


Posted by: LittleGirl'sMommy Dec 23 2017, 06:46 AM

I had meant to ask you, moon_beam -- did you finish the memorial booklet? I love your idea of writing the dedication page from Noah's perspective. If you are able to share any excerpts or anything here, I'd love to see it !

-Kathy

Posted by: moon_beam Dec 23 2017, 02:15 PM

Hi, Kathy, thank you so very much for your continued comforting support and encouragement during my grief adjustment journey. I am aware there are some facilities that have live residential feline companions. I came across an article this week in my local newspaper that Hasbro has "created" a robotic-type cat that simulates purring, and has some movements such as rolling over on their back, sleeping, etc.. It is touch activated, and I'm actually thinking about purchasing one. These are also used in some residential facilities that do not allow "live" cats.

I have finished the primary work on Noah's memorial booklet, but just need the time, and emotional strength, to print them out. Probably won't do that until after the first of the year. I'll try to share some of it as I can here. I will try to upload a couple of more pictures of my beloved Noah with his beautiful baby sister Abbygayle. I hope one of the pictures doesn't overload the forum.

I hope today, and every day, is treating you and your precious Cubby kindly, Kathy, and that you will have peaceful evenings blessed with your beloved Sunny's, and all of your beloved companions', sweet Living Spirits to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers as you travel your own grief journey in the physical loss of your beloved Sunny, that you are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I do appreciate your comforting support and encouragement.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Posted by: moon_beam Dec 23 2017, 02:31 PM

Today is 6 weeks since my beloved Noah joined the angels. My hours and days are now marked by the physical absence of my beloved Noah. Life goes on. Today has been spent working on the "bill-a-thon" marathon on the computer scheduling payments for bills due in January. This would be a "normal" project with my Noah stretched out on the computer table with his tail hanging down over the keyboard keeping me company. Now working on the computer is lonely. Everything is lonely because everything in my life revolved around his "energy" - - his "presence" - - his needs. This week I had to re-print all of my monthly financial logs for 2018 to delete the column that included payment for the purchase of his food and supplies. Yet another blatant reminder that my beloved Noah no longer needs my loving care and attention.

This picture is of my Noah and Abbygayle when they were about 12 weeks old. Noah is laying on top of Abbygayle. They regularly slept together throughout their lives:



This picture was taken during the summer of 2017 when they were 4 years old:



My heart holds so many cherished memories of my beloved Noah. It's difficult even now to separate the memories from his beautiful baby sister Abbygayle. Together, and individually, they are two of the sweetest companions I am blessed to have in my life, and forever cherish in my heart.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Posted by: LittleGirl'sMommy Dec 23 2017, 06:16 PM

Moon_beam, thanks for your continued support. Cubby and I are hanging in there.

I surely understand the emotional strength that would be necessary to take the next step in your wonderful project.

The pics of Noah and Abbygayle are just precious !!!!! wub.gif Thank you for sharing them and for sharing how you are doing. Prayers are continuing.

I recently saw an advertisement for the amazing robotic kitty and I absolutely love the idea of you purchasing one!! wub.gif How very comforting s/he could be ! (Noah and Abbygayle are saying, "Get one!!"



QUOTE (moon_beam @ Dec 23 2017, 02:15 PM) *
Hi, Kathy, thank you so very much for your continued comforting support and encouragement during my grief adjustment journey. I am aware there are some facilities that have live residential feline companions. I came across an article this week in my local newspaper that Hasbro has "created" a robotic-type cat that simulates purring, and has some movements such as rolling over on their back, sleeping, etc.. It is touch activated, and I'm actually thinking about purchasing one. These are also used in some residential facilities that do not allow "live" cats.

I have finished the primary work on Noah's memorial booklet, but just need the time, and emotional strength, to print them out. Probably won't do that until after the first of the year. I'll try to share some of it as I can here. I will try to upload a couple of more pictures of my beloved Noah with his beautiful baby sister Abbygayle. I hope one of the pictures doesn't overload the forum.

I hope today, and every day, is treating you and your precious Cubby kindly, Kathy, and that you will have peaceful evenings blessed with your beloved Sunny's, and all of your beloved companions', sweet Living Spirits to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers as you travel your own grief journey in the physical loss of your beloved Sunny, that you are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I do appreciate your comforting support and encouragement.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam


Posted by: moon_beam Dec 24 2017, 11:51 AM

Hi, Kathy, thank you so much for sharing with me how you and your precious Cubby are doing, and sharing my beloved Noah with me. Also, thank you for your thoughts about the "robotic" cat, - - this is becoming more of a real possibility than just a "consideration" for me to purchase.

Tomorrow I will be in Bedford for the day with my brother and his family, so I probably won't be online at all tomorrow. I hope today, and every day, is treating you and your precious Cubby kindly, Kathy, and that you will have peaceful evenings blessed with your beloved Sunny's, and all of your beloved companions', sweet Living Spirits to comfort you. Please know you and your precious Cubby are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I always appreciate your comforting support and encouragement.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Posted by: LoveMyMickey Dec 24 2017, 05:44 PM

Hi Moon_beam,

Thank you for sharing the pictures of Abbygayle and Noah. They are so beautiful and precious. I know your Christmas won't be the same, but I want you to know I will be thinking of you and your little angels.

Even after all these years, I still feel sad specially on Christmas Eve. That's when we let Mickey open his gifts. He was always so funny sneaking a peek into his bags before time to open. Good memories.

I hope you can enjoy your visit with your brother and his family tomorrow. Have a safe trip. I pray that your health will keep improving in the new year.

You and your sweet little angels are in my thoughts and prayers. God Bless....

LoveMyMickey

Posted by: moon_beam Dec 26 2017, 11:45 AM

Hi, LoveMyMickey, thank you so much for your most thoughtful encouragement and support. It truly means a lot to me. I can so understand how challenging your holidays are without your beloved Mickey physically there to share them with you. Although you and I shall forever cherish our memories of our beloved companions, they are no substitute for their wonderful precious sweet physical presence.

The travel to Bedford yesterday went smoothly, and it was an enjoyable afternoon sharing each other's company and a wonderful meal. With the exception of having to make an errand run tomorrow, the rest of the week will be a quiet one activity wise for which I am very thankful.

Thank you again so much, LoveMyMickey, for your most welcome comforting support and encouragement. I hope today, and every day, is treating you and your husband kindly, and that you and your husband have peaceful evenings blessed with your beloved Mickey's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I always look forward to knowing how you both are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Posted by: moon_beam Jan 7 2018, 10:32 AM

It has been a difficult start to this year without my beloved Noah's sweet precious physical presence with me. I knew it would be a challenge, but it's harder than I could ever imagine. My heart is breaking once again under the heavy burden of his physical absence. I know he is in a much better place reunited with his beautiful baby sister Abbygayle and big adopted kitty brother Eli - - no more suffering to endure. While this is comforting to know it still doesn't soothe the searing pain of sorrow in my heart enduring this grief adjustment journey. I know my tears are selfish - - I really would not want him here with me suffering just to be with me. I feel like our last year together was cheated because of the severe pain I was in for 8 months. Now that the pain is coming under control he should be here with me so that we could enjoy it together. This pain in my heart is worse than the physical pain.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Posted by: Tom's Dad Jan 7 2018, 04:40 PM

Oh moon_beam.

Your tears are not selfish. They are a part of the process of grief and healing. Not that we ever really heal 100% - Tears still come to me for my Sir Thomas (gone 7 years) and Princess Theresa (gone 1.5 years) I can completely understand how you feel cheated this past year trying to get your pain under control. But we are all here for you in this wonderful community. Thoughts and prayers.

TT and TT

Posted by: moon_beam Jan 8 2018, 02:29 PM

Hi, Tracy, thank you so very, very much for your comforting support in my grief adjustment journey. Thank you for your comforting understanding of how I am feeling. These days are a challenge to "get through". Having your comforting encouragement helps me to find hope in the midst of this deep sorrow.

I hope today is being kind to you, my friend. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Posted by: moon_beam Jan 24 2018, 12:55 PM

It's hard to believe it has only been 10 weeks since my beloved Noah joined the angels. It feels like an eternity, and I'm stuck in a nightmare. Have been working on my beloved Noah's Memorial Booklet. It's still a challenge working on it. I keep remembering "this time last year" - - this time last year I was in excruciating physical pain seeking a second opinion from a doctor who turned out to be a chiropractor - - and afraid that it was the beginning of a journey that would force me to make a worse painful decision of having to surrender my Noah to foster care because of not being able to take care of him. But this time last year he was still with me in spite of my agonizing physical pain and fears - - perhaps it was about this time that his sweet body began the horrible process of developing cancer. I'll never know when it began because he never told me. It's hard to reconcile that now - - this time this year - - I am in the process of preparing his Memorial. When this is done there will be nothing else for me to do for him, and my heart is breaking with the burden of this reality. Right now it feels like this earthly journey can certainly be very cruel. But in spite of this horrible piercing pain in my heart, I am so very, very grateful that he honored me to share his earthly journey.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam


Posted by: moon_beam Mar 11 2018, 11:37 AM

Today marks my beloved Noah's 4 month angel-versary when he joined the angels. It's still difficult to think of him without tears falling. The ache in my heart is still intense but not quite as consuming. Working on his memorial booklet is still a slow process, but I smile whenever I look at his picture. He was such a happy boy in that picture, and I know he is a happy boy now reunited with his beautiful baby sister Abbygayle and his big adopted kitty brother Eli. George Harrison wrote a song "All Things Must Pass" - - and so it is that my life as I have been blessed to have the privilege of these precious souls in my life is now drastically changing with adjusting to the physical absence of my beloved sweet sole survivor companion Noah. This grief journey is very painful, but in spite of the horrible piercing pain in my heart, I am so very, very grateful that he honored me to share his earthly journey.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Posted by: Tom's Dad Mar 11 2018, 05:17 PM

My heart aches for your loss moon_beam. Angelversaries are always the hardest. I went on You-Tube and found that song for you....

https://youtu.be/pPTHem2iu0A

All our thoughts and prayers are with you.

Posted by: moon_beam Mar 12 2018, 11:18 AM

Hi, Tracy, thank you so much for your most kind and compassionate support and encouragement. And thank you for finding George's song on YouTube and putting the link here for me. Only you, and others who are a part of this forum, can understand the void that is in my heart and life now. Thank you again, Tracy. Your friendship means a lot to me, more than an inadequate "thank you" can say.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Posted by: moon_beam May 1 2018, 12:49 PM

Today is exactly 6 months when my beloved Noah saw his veterinary provider which turned out to be the last time. She gave him a thorough examination and could not find anything amiss. His blood glucose levels were excellent - - the low glucose maintenance diet was keeping his diabetes in check without the need for insulin injections. Neither his doctor nor I knew the horror that would happen 8 days later, November 9, 2017, when he became so ill with multiple uncontrollable tummy upsets. My heart sank when it became obvious that he needed immediate emergency care. I knew in my heart that my sweet beloved Noah was dying, and the ER doctor who took him into care confirmed that she was surprised he was still alive. He held on for two days until the early morning hours of Saturday, November 11, 2017, when emergency surgery revealed wide-spread abdominal cancer. The surgeon kept him sedated until I was able to arrive to be with my beloved Noah when she gave him the injections that would ease his transition journey from this physical realm - - from my arms that still ache to hold him just one more time.

Today I took his things to his veterinary provider to donate for her to use in her practice or give to clients as she felt appropriate. I tried so hard not to cry while I was talking with her but I couldn't hold back the tears. My heart was breaking with yet another "new reality" - - "this is it - - no turning back - - my beloved Noah no longer needed these things" - - things I had gotten for him with so much love in my heart over the years of our earthly journey together. I'm sobbing now as I'm writing this. My heart still hurts so deeply missing my sweet beloved brave little boy, and the horrific pain he must have been in the last hours of his earthly journey. All the months I was in excruciating pain I wanted to get better for my beloved Noah. Now that the pain is being controlled with medications my beloved Noah isn't here to share the now better times with me. Our time together was blessed for 14 years - - an eternity with him would never be long enough. Thank you so much, my beloved sweet Noah, for honoring me in sharing your earthly journey with me. Thank you so much for letting me be your Forever Mom.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Posted by: Tom's Dad May 3 2018, 02:58 PM

My heart aches for you moon_beam sad.gif

There is no pain quite like losing a beloved fur child, as we know all too well. Thoughts and prayers.

Posted by: moon_beam May 3 2018, 04:12 PM

Thank you so much, Tracy, for your kind compassion as I continue my grief adjustment journey. It's comforting to have your support and encouragement letting me know I'm not traveling this journey alone. I hope today is treating you, your precious prince Tang, and Anne kindly.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Posted by: moon_beam Jun 22 2018, 01:53 PM

It is hard to believe it has already been over 7 months since my beloved Noah joined the angels. So much has happened since I last wrote on May 1. The beautiful home I shared with my beloved Noah and each of my beloved companions over the past 22 years has sold, and next Wednesday, 6/27, I will be moving to a senior condo complex in Bedford to be geographically closer to my brother. I know this is a needed move because of my serious health challenges now, but my heart is breaking leaving this place that is truly my home, and always will be my home. The senior condo is merely a place for me to live now in my senior years.

I am so glad my beloved Noah has not been subjected to the stress of having strangers tramp through his home to determine if they want to live in it, or not, and is free from the stress of being relocated to a place that is devoid of wildlife to watch and keep him company. My heart would break if he had to make the adjustment I am facing now in living environment. The good news is that I know that wherever I am my beloved companions are always with me - - for their sweet Living Spirits are always and forever a heartbeat close to me.

I love you my beloved Noah - - I love all of you, my beloved companions - - and miss your sweet, precious physical presence with me each and every day. Thank you for honoring me to be your guardian and caregiver during your earthly journey.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Posted by: My beautiful Fenix Jun 23 2018, 04:15 PM

QUOTE (moon_beam @ Jun 22 2018, 01:53 PM) *
It is hard to believe it has already been over 7 months since my beloved Noah joined the angels. So much has happened since I last wrote on May 1. The beautiful home I shared with my beloved Noah and each of my beloved companions over the past 22 years has sold, and next Wednesday, 6/27, I will be moving to a senior condo complex in Bedford to be geographically closer to my brother. I know this is a needed move because of my serious health challenges now, but my heart is breaking leaving this place that is truly my home, and always will be my home. The senior condo is merely a place for me to live now in my senior years.

I am so glad my beloved Noah has not been subjected to the stress of having strangers tramp through his home to determine if they want to live in it, or not, and is free from the stress of being relocated to a place that is devoid of wildlife to watch and keep him company. My heart would break if he had to make the adjustment I am facing now in living environment. The good news is that I know that wherever I am my beloved companions are always with me - - for their sweet Living Spirits are always and forever a heartbeat close to me.

I love you my beloved Noah - - I love all of you, my beloved companions - - and miss your sweet, precious physical presence with me each and every day. Thank you for honoring me to be your guardian and caregiver during your earthly journey.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Ahhh moon_beam, my heart aches for you, it really does. I hope your new home will be peaceful, you deserve that peace. I was only thinking this evening about how I miss my Fenix. I am guessing some things are just so precious, they will always be missed. Pure treasures are priceless.

Posted by: moon_beam Jun 26 2018, 02:59 PM

Hi, My beautiful Fenix, thank you so much for your comforting encouragement and support with all the major changes happening in my life - - especially the ongoing process of adjusting to the physical absence of my beloved Noah.

I am having to do a marathon of packing today in preparation for the movers tomorrow. It is fitting that it is raining today, and rain is expected tomorrow. This is completely opposite weather to the day my now beloved companions and I had when we moved in 22 years ago - - March 4, 1996 - - the sun was shining bright and warm, temps in the 60's, crystal clear blue sky - - a preview to Spring in our new home. All was exciting - - this house warmly welcomed us - - we knew we "belonged" here. Now it is the exact opposite - - the senior condo is just a place for me to live for the rest of my earthly journey.

Once again, My beautiful Fenix, thank you so very much for your comforting support and encouragement. I hope today is treating you kindly and that you will have peaceful evenings blessed with your beloved Fenix's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Posted by: moon_beam Jul 19 2018, 12:10 PM

I cannot believe it is now 8 months and 8 days since my beloved Noah joined the angels. So much has happened in these months almost beyond my comprehension. This time last year I was in excruciating pain but I still had my beloved Noah with me. I had no idea - - no inkling - - no foresight - - that it would be our last summer together because his body was being invaded by a horrible cancer that he did not let me know was happening. My heart still breaks when I think of this - - for it is now and always will be a memory that will forever be with me for the remainder of my earthly journey. But there are so many precious memories I have of him and each of my beloved companions. I have been so blessed in my life to have had the privilege of sharing the lives of precious souls who permitted me to be their human guardian.

My beloved Noah, I miss you, your beautiful baby sister Abbygayle, your big adopted kitty brother Eli, and your big doggy brother Oslo so very much. I would have each of the years we shared together all over again but that would mean each of you would have to experience the physical illnesses that caused your transition from this earthly realm, and I would never want any of you to go through that misery again. Now that I have severe medical challenges it is best that you are now with the angels. It is my sincere hope that someday I can be with you again only this time in eternal joy with you. I love you so much my handsome beloved Noah with all my heart.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Posted by: moon_beam Jul 27 2018, 02:28 PM

It is exactly a month today that i moved into this senior condo environment from my beautiful home in the woods that I shared for 21 years with my beloved companions, and for 14 years with my beloved Noah. If it weren't for the other residents' four footed companions who greet me when they see me this place would be totally unbearable. I miss my beloved Noah so much, but am so glad he isn't here to adjust to the barren environment of woodland creatures to keep him company when he would look out the windows. My life has totally changed from being filled with purpose and joy to wondering what purpose is for me now as I look at my future senior years in this earthly journey. Never in my worst nightmares did I ever imagine having my life in this present - - and future - - situation. I am thankful that my health is better - - more stabilized - - than it was this time last year. It's true what pyschologists say that too much change in a short period of time can cause one to ponder what next can happen. At least I know my beloved companions are safe with the angels in eternal joy - - they are no longer dependent on me when I haven't a clue as to what will happen next.

I miss all of my beloved companions so very much - - I miss you, my sweet beloved brave boy, Noah.

Peace and blessinigs,
moon_beam

Posted by: moon_beam Aug 11 2018, 03:10 PM

I cannot believe it has been 9 months to the day and date that my beloved Noah transitioned from this earthly realm. It has been a long, tedious journey adjusting to the physical absence of my beloved Noah - - and each day continues to be so lonesome without him. So many things have happened during these 9 months. The resident's beautiful Siamese Bonnie and her sibling brother Buster have adopted me - - they are always glad to see me, as I am to see them. It's as if my beloved Noah have guided them to me to be a source of comfort and enjoyment. I don't feel guilty about enjoying them. In some ways they remind me so much of how my beloved Noah and Abbygayle were together during their earthly journey with me, and these are wonderful memories. My heart still selfishly aches being here without them, but I'm so very glad they had a beautiful home to live in while they were here with me.

I miss you so so very much my beloved sweet baby boy Noah - - I miss all of my beloved companions.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Posted by: Tom's Dad Aug 11 2018, 05:22 PM

moon_beam. I have no doubt that Noah has sent sent Bonnie an d Buster your way to offer comfort the same way Tom guided Tang my way and Theresa guided me to have the courage to take the first steps in getting to know Anne.

I know it's not the same as having them here, but in the words of Doctor McCoy in regard to Spock at the end of Wrath of Khan: "He's not really gone...as long as we remember him". All our thoughts and prayers are with you. ~hugs~


Posted by: moon_beam Aug 12 2018, 05:32 PM

Hi, Tracy, thank you so much for your comforting support and encouragement in my grief adjustment journey. Indeed, my beloved Noah is always and forever a heartbeat close to me, along with each of my beloved companions. They do give us the courage to reach beyond ourselves to embrace other relationships be they with other four footed waifs needing a Forever Home or people with whom we can share a mutual friendship.

I hope today is treating you, your precious Tang, and Anne kinidly, my friend.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Posted by: SummerHolly Oct 3 2018, 06:20 AM

I haven't been here for quite a long time and just swung by. I saw you post about Noah and my heart sank. Very sorry for your loss of him as I know how precious he was to you. Having lost my soul dog to cancer I know how evil this disease is and how it steals the ones you love.

Gosh it must be so hard for you moving from your lovely home. As I get older and nearer to retirement it is something I ponder and worry about what will happen as I live on the land all 200 acres of it. I was having lunch with an older retired friend of mine today as he was feeling down as he is thinking of selling his land and moving and I know he is struggling with that concept.

I am glad you still have the presence of 4 legged friends in your life to greet you even if they are not your precious babies. I don't know how I would cope personally, probably not very well.

My best wishes to you as you have always been a comforting presence when people have lost their precious companions and are struggling. No doubt Noah is there with you in spirit and I also hope one day we will all be reunited with our beautiful animal spirits.


Posted by: moon_beam Oct 4 2018, 02:03 PM

Hi, SummerHolly, thank you so very much for sharing the physical loss of my beloved Noah with me, and the major adjustments in my life without his sweet physical presence with me. When I moved into my beautiful home I thought it would be the last place for me in this physical realm. It brought peace to my very senior companions who shared my life at that time, as well as to me and the beloved companions who shared it with me as the years passed by. I would have those years over again if I could - - if I had the power to turn back Time, but then it would mean watching each of my beloved companions endure the ravages of illness that eventually led to their transition from this earthly realm. The memories I have of those years bring comfort to me as does the hope of being reunited with them in eternal joy. Adjustments in our older years are not easy for we realize that we no longer have "all the time in the world" and our physical bodies are not as nimble - - or healthy - - as they used to be. I am so sorry for your friend who is facing the adjustment to his "new realities" and will keep him in my thoughts and prayers that his heart will know a peace in his "new normals".

I cannot believe that my beloved Noah's one year angel-versary is quickly approaching in just about 37 days. It is true about the saying "Absence makes the heart grow fonder".

I hope life is treating you kindly, SummerHolly. Thank you again so much for your comforting support and encouragement.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Posted by: moon_beam Nov 11 2018, 12:13 PM

Today is exactly one year to the date when my beloved Noah transitioned from this earthly realm to join the angels and his fur family in heaven's perfect garden. So much has happened during this year, so many changes in my life each one with the agonizing reality that my beloved Noah is no longer physically here to share them with me. The changes haven't been positive -- the major one being having to move from the beautiful tranquility of our home in the woods to this stark barren environment of the senior condo. Because of this I am thankful my beloved Noah is now with the angels not having to adjust to this barren environment. I know he and his fur family have tried to ease the adjustment for me by sending the other residents' fur companions for occasional company, and for this I am thankful. But they can never "replace" my beloved Noah and fur kids who blessed my life with their loving devotion. The other residents' companions can never soothe the constant emptiness that is now in my heart and life.

My health is stable at least for the immediate now because of medication that has eased the severe pain that consumed my and my beloved Noah's life for 9 months last year. I am glad we had enough time together last year when he didn't have to hear me screaming and crying in excruciating, agonizing pain. I am thankful the last weeks of his earthly journey I was once again able to hold him close to me in my arms, when I could once again feel his sweet precious body close to me, close to my heart. My desire was to get better for HIM - - to be able to continue to have a good quality of life together with HIM. I am thankful for not being in excruciating pain anymore - - it's just not as meaningful now as it was during the last weeks that I still had my beloved Noah physically with me.

There is nothing that can change what happened last year - - and nothing that can ever take away the deep sorrow in my heart when my beloved Noah finally let me know on the night of November 9, that he, too, had been suffering for many months with a hideous illness that would take him physically from me 2 days later - - November 11, 2017. My brave beloved Veteran - - My heart forever belongs to my beloved Noah, and each of the wonderful companions who shared their earthly journey with me. My only hope now is to be reunited with you in heaven's perfect garden - - it is the only time when I will know complete happiness again.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Posted by: SummerHolly Mar 2 2019, 09:13 PM

QUOTE (moon_beam @ Nov 12 2018, 03:43 AM) *
My heart forever belongs to my beloved Noah, and each of the wonderful companions who shared their earthly journey with me. My only hope now is to be reunited with you in heaven's perfect garden - - it is the only time when I will know complete happiness again.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam


I hope you are doing okay. It really sounds like such a traumatic year with huge changes in your life that continues. There really is nothing good about getting oLder and losing ones health especially if animals mean everything to your life.

I often also think that I will only be completely happy again if I am reunited with my lost dogs and in particular my heart dog Holly so I totally understand that sentiment.

Posted by: moon_beam Mar 3 2019, 03:07 PM

Hi, SummerHolly, thank you so very much for your most comforting support and encouragement. My beloved Noah, and each of my beloved companions, continue to watch over me and have interceded on my behalf with other condo residents who have precious companions and graciously share them with me with visits. If it were not for these precious souls I know my life would be very bleak here - - it has been, and continues to be - - a daily challenge in adjustment.

I hope today, and every day, is treating you kindly, SummerHolly, and I thank you again for your comforting support and for keeping me in your thoughts and prayers. It is very much appreciated.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Posted by: Bue's Mommy Apr 24 2019, 05:53 PM

QUOTE (moon_beam @ Nov 11 2017, 06:00 AM) *
At 1:52 a.m. I received a call from Noah's overnight physician from the ER hospital. A "quick" ultrasound was done on Noah at some point after I left visiting him, and fluid was found in his abdomen. A sample of the fluid was taken which showed definite bacteria - - which means something in my precious Noah's abdomen was perforated or leaking. This is always considered a surgical emergency, which I approved.

At 2:20 a.m. the surgeon called me to let me know that there was nothing she could do for my precious Noah. His stomach had ruptured from multiple tumors and there was nothing but dead tissue in place of his stomach. The only thing that could be done for him was to mercifully transition him from this earthly realm. She agreed that she could keep Noah comfortable under anesthesia until I arrived to be with him when the drugs were administered. I arrived at the hospital around 3:20 a.m., and around 3:30 a.m. Noah joined his beautiful sibling baby sister Abbygayle and adopted big kitty brother Eli in heaven's perfect garden.

Needless to say my heart is aching right now and the tears are flowing, but there are so many things I am thankful for - - one of them having had the honor and privilege of being his human caregiver all the 14 years of his sweet physical life. I will get a pawprint and his ashes back sometime within the next week.

I want to thank each of you for your comforting support during this time of great sorrow,



Peace and blessings,
moon_beam


My dearest Moon_Beam, I'm devastated about Noah. You have comforted all of us for so long, we so feel your loss. I hope you have vids and pics, it really helps when you're in that space that hurts so bad, you can barely stand it. I never understood how incredibly hard your job is here, until I started replying to fur moms / dads on the site. I have such respect for you, you have comforted so many. It's wonderful to see the response you got from everyone. All my life we have had fur babies, just spent the last 3 yes without one. It's so hard, but you'll get through it.

Take care my friend

Posted by: moon_beam Apr 25 2019, 04:33 PM

Hi, Bue's Mommy, thank you so much for your most welcome comforting support and encouragement. Even though it has been 1.5 years since my beloved Noah joined the angels I miss him and all of my beloved companions every day. But they have interceded for me by providing friendship with the precious companions of some of the other residents here in the senior condo community. My life is so different from what I thought it would be at this point in my life, - - it's a daily adjustment to the "new reality." But I am blessed with the many treasured memories I share with my beloved Noah and all of my beloved companions, and am comforted in knowing they are now restored to their former youthfulness in the company of the angels.

Thank you again, Bue's Mommy, for your kindness and thoughtfulness. I hope today is treating you kindly, Bue's Mommy, and please know you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Posted by: SummerHolly Oct 12 2019, 07:17 PM

Hi moonbeam hope your life in the senior condo is going well. I just now realised this forum is sunsetting. I would like to thank you for your kind support on the loss of my dogs Holly and Kobi in the last years. I pop in to the forum every now and then and sometimes wonder how you are doing with the adjustments that you have had to make over the last couple of years.

Posted by: moon_beam Oct 15 2019, 01:45 PM

Hi, SummerHolly, thank you so much for your most welcome note. The adjustment to the senior condo is still a "work in progress". One of my neighbor's cats has befriended me. Buster comes by on a daily basis to visit me and keep me company until he decides it's time to go home. He is such a sweet natured boy, and I look forward to his visits. I also take care of my brother's and sister in law's cat Scarlet when they are out of town. This has helped to ease the emptiness with the loss of my beloved Noah. I'm thankful I can take care of Scarlet but doing it enforces my reality that I am not physically capable of taking care of another precious companion on a full time basis.

It saddens me that this wonderful forum will be sunsetted come January 1, 2020, but I do understand Marc's decision. I thank you so much, SummerHolly, for your kindness and thoughtfulness and comforting compassion in sharing with me each of my losses. As always, I hope today, and every day, is treating you kindly, SummerHolly, and please know you are frequently in my thoughts and prayers.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Posted by: Kellyt Nov 18 2019, 08:52 AM

Hello moon_beam,
I haven’t been on the forum in years, but this thread caught my eye because you were so incredibly helpful and comforting when I lost my dear Wolfie. I read your devastating news about Noah. Sending you my very belated condolences on the physical loss of your precious boy. I hope you continue to feel his presence in your daily life and that life is going well for you.

I’m so sorry to see that the forum will be sunsetted in a couple of months; I hope most, if not all, people here join the Facebook group. This group and the special people here were a huge source of support in my time of need-truly a blessing.

Take good care,
Kelly

Posted by: SummerHolly Jan 1 2020, 05:51 AM

QUOTE (moon_beam @ Oct 16 2019, 05:15 AM) *
Hi, SummerHolly, thank you so much for your most welcome note. The adjustment to the senior condo is still a "work in progress". One of my neighbor's cats has befriended me. Buster comes by on a daily basis to visit me and keep me company until he decides it's time to go home. He is such a sweet natured boy, and I look forward to his visits. I also take care of my brother's and sister in law's cat Scarlet when they are out of town. This has helped to ease the emptiness with the loss of my beloved Noah. I'm thankful I can take care of Scarlet but doing it enforces my reality that I am not physically capable of taking care of another precious companion on a full time basis.

It saddens me that this wonderful forum will be sunsetted come January 1, 2020, but I do understand Marc's decision. I thank you so much, SummerHolly, for your kindness and thoughtfulness and comforting compassion in sharing with me each of my losses. As always, I hope today, and every day, is treating you kindly, SummerHolly, and please know you are frequently in my thoughts and prayers.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam


So glad you have a visiting cat and you get to look after Scarlet. I hope 2020 brings you happiness, I guess this will be my last post so again thanks for your caring towards anyone who is going through the loss of an animal companion.


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