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quazarsmom
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Joined: 4-June 19
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Last Seen: 12th June 2019 - 06:39 AM
Local Time: Jun 25 2019, 06:55 PM
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quazarsmom

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4 Jun 2019
I fell like i made the wrong choice, im in so much agony it hurts my heart. It's been just over 1 month since I had no good options but to send my big black beautiful Labrador named Quazar over the rainbow bridge. It was very unexpected and has left my heart and soul broken in a million pieces. He was my best friend, loyal companion, confidant, furry soulmate and my everything. I still feel like it happened yesterday, time seems to be standing still. He passed from a heart hemangiosarcoma that ruptured filling the pericardium sac arround the heart with blood. The first vet we saw faied him and thought he bad aspiration pneumonia, his breathing rate was rapid and he wasn't able to get up, the vet gave him lots of treatment and we were sent home. He only cared about money and getting out of the clinic by closing time. I'm so very disappointed. The emergency clinic we ended up at diagnosed him within minutes. I was not ready for this diagnosis. They advised that we could try draining the fluid but that he could pass away during the procedure. This may of provided us with hours to days with him. There was no cure but we could have had surgery, followed by chemo and radiation that could provide on average maybe a few months together if the treatment didnt take his life first. This treatment plan did not seem fair to my boy. We sent him over the rainbow bridge and my heart has been broken ever since. I am doubting my decision, feeling like maybe we should of atleast tried to treat him. I don't like going over the woulda shoulda game in my head everyday. I hope I did right by him, i miss him more then anything. I am grateful for our time together, he was 2 weeks shy of his 13th birthday. I just don't know how to start healing from this devastating experience. I am thankful for this forum, I'm hoping that by posting my experience it will help start the healing process. I miss my Quazar, he made everyday sparkle for me, now everything seems dull. I am so very sorry for every one here who are going through and have hone through this awful grieving process too. It really gnaws at the heart. I am doubting my self and dont know if i really made the right choice, he was my everything and im feeling like i just gave up. This unexpected loss is breaking whats left of my heart. I miss him.
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Lo-Fi Version Time is now: 25th June 2019 - 05:55 PM