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Nicky709
49 years old
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Born June-13-1970
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Joined: 15-November 03
Profile Views: 430*
Last Seen: 16th April 2004 - 06:16 PM
Local Time: Jun 25 2019, 06:01 PM
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Nicky709

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21 Nov 2003
As you know, from my previous posting, my baby went to the Bridge last Sunday, after suffering kidney failure, I've just found out from the vet that she was in the final stages, I never knew anything was wrong with her until last week. The week prior to the actual event I was so upset, crying, hugging her constantly, wishing and bargaining....this week has been worse, but in a different way.

More than anything else I'm always expecting Cindy to make a run fpr the front door, I keep thinking she's there in her old places, then falling over when I go to step over her!!!!! But through it all I'm just numb, I've cried when I've read what people have written on this site, because I miss Cindy so much, but most of the time I wander around numb, both in work and at home. I look at her pictures and my heart misses a beat, and I feel even worse, with guilt, because I'm not crying as much as Cindy deserves, and because I'm so numb. I miss my baby so much, the feel of her, the sound of her, everything, but I cann't get beyond this awful numbness ohmy.gif(((

I lost my first baby, Kim, about three years ago, and I'm starting to feel guilty because I grieved, as in cried, more for her than I did for Cindy.

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    15 Nov 2003
    First time posting on this site, thanks God I've found it. Cindy, my gorgeous, soft, mummy's girl, was diagnosed with renal failure on Friday, we'd initially taken her to the vets because she was off her food and just wasn't herself. After two courses of antibiotics to solve the supposed "upset stomach" they ran a full blood scan. From the moment I realised Cindy was sick I called in sick at work, so that I could spend more time with her. On Friday morning my husband woke me, in tears, saying that the vet had just got in touch with the results from the tests, Cindy has renal failure. This was made all the worse for us, if that's possibly, because it only seems like yesterday when we lost our other baby, Kim, to cancer, although it was three years ago.

    I telephoned the vet to ask her advice and she said that it would be best if we brought Cindy down straight away, which we did. . The vet has told us there's a very slim chance that she may come back, I wanted to ask if Cindy was going through any pain, but I was too upset, I wanted to say well if there's only a slim chance would it be fairer on Cindy if we put her to sleep....but I didn't, I asked what we could do. Thankfully we've just been sent a credit card, which I activated on Thursday, I don't know what we would have done if we'd have not had it.

    Complications occurred, Cindy would have to be kept in for at least 48 hours, and there would be no one there on Sunday, so we had to take Cindy, complete with drip, to another vets, about an hours drive away. Once there we had to say goodbye to her yet again, she climbed slowly into her new home and initially turned away from me when I went to kiss her goodbye, although the she later kissed me too.

    I've called the vet, yesterday and today, today I was told that Cindy's not improved, and she's depressed, tomorrow they're going to take more blood, which will tell us if the drip and medication has done any good. I'm so scared, I want to see her so much, but the vet has said it wouldn't be a good idea, we're both waiting at home, knowing what she's going through, we cann't eat or sleep at the thought of her being alone and depressed....she's been there for us for eight wonderful years, I cann't begin to describe how much we miss her, I just want her back so much.

    I've got to go into work on Monday, the day when the results are due in, and I honestly don't know how I'm going to cope, how can I go into work when my Baby is all alone and poorly.......I keep thinking I sound selfish, but it's not me I'm thinking about, Cindy is all I'm able to think about, her suffering, her pain, her lonliness. I'm so scared for getting these results, I know with Kim they telephoned us and told us that she had cancer and there was nothing we could do, the best thing would be to put her to sleep, we couldn't say goodbye, but with Cindy I think the decision is going to rest with us and we're going to go to the vets to say our goodbyes, and I'm besides myself at the prospect.

    Any support, anything, please help me through this because I'm finding it so hard.

    Thank you

    Nicky
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    21 Aug 2008 - 23:20


    13 Jun 2008 - 21:21

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